Better To Rest Part 7

"I found this light fixture on the workbench, Gary said, coming into the room. "Wheres it supposed to go?

"My bedroom, but Gary, you dont have to She stopped when he headed down the hall. She turned to his sister. "Whats the other thing?

"What?

"You said, when I tried to kick you out of Newenham, that you couldnt go because for one thing, Im on a story. Whats the other thing?

"Oh. That.

"Wy? Garys was a voice crying in the wilderness. "Where do you keep your paint?

"At the paint store! Whats the other thing? she repeated to Jo.

"Okay. Jo fortified herself with a long swallow of beer. "Its this. Liam doesnt have anything to be worried about. Does he? With you and... She jerked her head toward the bathroom.

"No.

"He doesnt seem to know that.

"I dont follow you.

Jos sigh was heavy and martyred. "If he were sure of himself with you, he wouldnt give a d.a.m.n how many ex-boyfriends were hanging around.

"Oh, for G.o.ds sake, Jo, cant you let this alone? I told you yesterday I "I know. Jo nodded. "I listened very carefully and I heard every word you said.

"So?

"So, what I didnt hear you say was that you were completely, totally, and irrevocably committed to Liam Campbell, forsaking all others, world without end, amen. If I dont hear you saying that, Im pretty sure Liam doesnt, either.

Wy was confused. "I still dont get what this has to do with your bringing Gary down here to get Liam all riled up.

"You say you love him.

"I do.

"You say you want him.

"I do.

"But you wont say youll marry him.

"I cant have kids.

"I know that. And you told him, and so does he, now.

"He wants kids.

"Does he want them more than you?

"He says not.

"And you dont believe him.

Wy was silent.

"And all these years, I thought you were so smart. Jo gave her head a long, sad shake. "Somebodys got to hold your feet to the fire, girl.

"And you think youre just the person to do that.

"Who better?

"Seen anything of Jim Wiley lately?

Beneath Wys amazed gaze, Jos fair skin flushed a deep and unexpected red. "Up yours, Chouinard.

"Up yours times two, Dunaway, Wy said, delighted to turn the tables. "Come to think of it, I havent heard any tales this past month of your latest conquests, and usually I get on average at least one call a week. Not to mention which, youre traveling with your brother, also a rare event, as you usually use your trips to see me as getaway weekends for you and your latest. You and Jim, hmmm. You wouldnt be seeing each other socially, by any chance?

"In his dreams.

"Or in yours, Wy retorted, and then had to duck.

After dinner and coffee and still no appearance by Liam, Jo and Gary took their leave with suitable expressions of grat.i.tude. During the time before and after dinner, Gary had found and fixed the leak in the bathroom, recaulked the bathtub, installed the new light fixture in Wys bedroom, and put a ground fault interruptor in the outlet next to the kitchen sink.

"Handy, isnt he? Jo said.

"Speedy, too, Wy said.

Gary gave Wy a long look. "With some things. With others, I take my time.

"Too much information, Jo said. "Were out of here.

Wy closed the door behind them and went back to Tims room.

He was sprawled across his bed, head propped up on a pillow, reading.

"Hey, Wy said.

"Hey, Tim said without looking around.

Wy sat next to him. "What are you reading?

He turned the cover of the book toward her, and went back to reading.

" Little Fuzzy, Little Fuzzy, Wy said, pleased. "One of my favorites. For fun or for work? Mrs. Cash, the English teacher for seventh, eighth and ninth grades at Newenham Public School, was teaching a science-fiction lit cla.s.s this semester. Wy said, pleased. "One of my favorites. For fun or for work? Mrs. Cash, the English teacher for seventh, eighth and ninth grades at Newenham Public School, was teaching a science-fiction lit cla.s.s this semester.

"Work.

"You like it?

"Yeah.

She refused to let his laconic replies deter her. "What else is she a.s.signing?

"I dont know.

She stifled a sigh, and then was startled when he actually volunteered a remark.

"She made us watch television today, before she handed out this book.

"What?

He angled a sly look up at her." Star Trek. Star Trek.

She grinned. "Which one, and which episode?

"TNG. The one where Data has to prove hes not a toaster.

"Ah. She thought. "So youre headed for a discussion on sentience.

"Looks like.

"How do you like the course?

"Its okay, so far. He turned back to his book.

She looked at him, his hair cropped and spiked with gel in the approved current style, the blue jeans that now, mercifully, fit instead of hanging off his b.u.t.t. His watch was the X-Men one she had given him for Christmas, to match the Wolverine T-s.h.i.+rt and his very own VHS copy of the movie, which by now was about worn out.

His desk was a disaster area, littered with textbooks and notebooks and CDs and a Walkman and a Game Boy, undoubtedly loaded with Tims beloved Tetris and ready to go. On the wall was a poster of Euclid holding a pair of calipers, with a caption reading, There is no royal road to geometry. There is no royal road to geometry. Next to Euclid was a poster of Jennifer Lopez holding nothing and wearing less. Next to Euclid was a poster of Jennifer Lopez holding nothing and wearing less.

On a short picture ledge, ordered specially for the purpose, sat a photograph of a girl with pale olive skin, a ma.s.s of straight brown hair, and tip-tilted, laughing brown eyes. The bra.s.s of the frame was newly s.h.i.+ned, and the ledge, unlike any other level surface in the room, was dust-free.

Wy steeled herself. "Natalies coming over tomorrow afternoon. She had learned the hard way not to refer to Natalie Gosuk as his mother.

His back stiffened into one hard, inimical line. "What time?

"Four oclock.

"Youll be here?

"Yes. Every time. Always.

He put down the book and rolled to look at her. "I dont want to see her.

"I know.

"But youre making me.

"Yes.

"Why?

If was the first time he hadnt shouted the question at her in a rage, and she wanted so badly not to blow the answer. "Shes your birth mother, Tim.

"Youre more my mother than she ever was or ever will be.

Wy thought of the s.h.i.+vering, wounded sc.r.a.p of humanity she had found crouched beneath his mothers front porch on a flight into Ualik over two years ago, and said, "I cant argue with that.

"Then why?

Hard as she tried, she couldnt go straight at it. "I understand your anger at her, Tim. I share it. Anger is a good thing in many ways. Anger makes you fight back. A lot of times its the difference between surviving and going under.

He looked at her.

"Its just that, sooner or later, you have to accept what happened to make you angry, acknowledge it and move on.

"What if I dont want to? You bet Im mad at her. His voice rose. "I hate her! And she deserves it!

"Yes, she does, but are you going to spend the rest of your life angry with her? Without waiting for an answer, she said, "You have that choice. Its up to you; you can live from now until you die blaming everything bad that happens to you on your lousy childhood and the awful things your mother did to you.

"It wasnt just her.

It was as close as hed come to talking about the rest of it. "I know, she said gently, when what she really wanted to do was rip and tear. "But what Im telling you still goes. You cant do anything to change the past. Im not saying you shouldnt be angry, but youve got to learn to put it aside and move on. The jails are full of people who never learned to do that. Interesting, she thought, how sometimes she opened up her mouth and Liam Campbell came walking out of it.

In that maddening way teenagers have of making logic where none exists, he said, "You saying Im going to jail if I dont let her visit?

"No. Im saying if you can learn to tolerate her company for a few hours a week, youll be a better person for it. She hesitated. "Shes an alcoholic, Tim. He shot up, knocking his book to the floor, and she held up a hand. "Its not an excuse, I know. But it is a reason. Sober, she might have been a completely different person. A completely different mother.

"She wasnt sober.

"No, she wasnt. And she lost her chance to be that person with you. But shes sober now, and shes reaching out. And you have to remember something.

"What?

"Whatever else, she gave you life.

"It wasnt much of one.

"It is now.

His eyes held more bewilderment than rage. "I cant believe youre making me do this.

She said the only thing she could say. "I love you, Tim. I will always be on your side, no matter what.

She wasnt sure he believed her, but she was wise enough to leave it at that.