Black Is The New White Part 1

BLACK IS THE NEW WHITE.

A MEMOIR.

by PAUL MOONEY.

FOREWORD.

BY DAVE CHAPPELLE.

When I was a young black boy growing up in Was.h.i.+ngton, D.C., during my formative years, my comic inspiration came from various comedy idols, particularly Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy.

Richard meant so much to me. Richard Pryor was the real King of Comedy. Then I found out that Paul Mooney was the writer behind my idol!

We all remember that famous sketch from Sat.u.r.day Night Live Sat.u.r.day Night Live's first season, where Pryor plays a prospective employee playing a "word a.s.sociation game" with the interviewer (played by Chevy Chase). The two get into a verbal fight when Chase's character begins to use racial slurs.

Well, Paul Mooney wrote that sketch!

To see a black man on TV, holding his own with a white man, that was television history. It changed everything, not only TV, but also my course, and it gave me the direction my life was meant to go in.

The Eddie Murphy Raw tour in the 1980s was the hottest ticket in town. When the fans came in wanting to see Eddie Murphy, for the first half of the show, they got Paul Mooney. I thought, That n.i.g.g.a had a lot of b.a.l.l.s to open up for a crowd that was only there to see Eddie Murphy. That n.i.g.g.a had a lot of b.a.l.l.s to open up for a crowd that was only there to see Eddie Murphy.

Years later, I asked Eddie about it: "Why did you put Paul Mooney on to open for you?"

"When you have Paul Mooney in front of you," Eddie said, "you have to be on the top of your game when you come out to perform. You can't slack if Mooney is the opening act."

I had the good fortune to work with Paul on Chappelle's Show Chappelle's Show and I have some stories of my own. Paul Mooney is a genius, brilliant, a legend, and a force to be reckoned with. and I have some stories of my own. Paul Mooney is a genius, brilliant, a legend, and a force to be reckoned with.

But I will say this: you don't f.u.c.k with Paul Mooney, you don't f.u.c.k with his writing, his material, his sketches ... and you certainly don't tell him what to do! don't tell him what to do! Trust me, I've learned, especially when I worked with him on my own show. Trust me, I've learned, especially when I worked with him on my own show.

When I started gearing up for my show, I knew I needed Paul Mooney to be part of it. I just wanted his comedic genius. I wanted to be around someone who has so much history and success. Mooney was the writer, the casting director, and the director for some segments of The Richard Pryor Show The Richard Pryor Show in 1977 for NBC. in 1977 for NBC.

That was cla.s.sic television, never to be duplicated. Working on The Richard Pryor Show, The Richard Pryor Show, Paul Mooney helped launch the careers of so many talented comedians and actors: Robin Williams, Brad Garrett, s.h.i.+rley Hemphill, Marsha Warfield, Johnny Witherspoon, Tim Reid, and Sandra Bernhard, to name a few. Paul Mooney helped launch the careers of so many talented comedians and actors: Robin Williams, Brad Garrett, s.h.i.+rley Hemphill, Marsha Warfield, Johnny Witherspoon, Tim Reid, and Sandra Bernhard, to name a few.

There are a lot of things people remember about my show. Some things that I I did, yeah, but a lot of people remember "Negrodamus" and "Ask a Black Dude." It was cla.s.sic Mooney. did, yeah, but a lot of people remember "Negrodamus" and "Ask a Black Dude." It was cla.s.sic Mooney.

Now, many of you reading this book may not have even heard of Paul Mooney, and that's a shame. Why isn't Mooney a mainstream star? As you read through the pages you will find out why ... Paul Mooney was too black for Hollywood! too black for Hollywood!

Say what you will about Paul Mooney, he always delivers the goods. What comes out of his mind is comic genius at its best.

Paul Mooney: the face that launched a thousand quips

RICHARD.

CHAPTER 1.

I'm sliding into a booth in a coffee shop on Santa Monica Boulevard, slapping the table to wake Richard Pryor from his hangover nod.

"Man," I say to him, "I just saw a lady so pretty, somebody should suck her daddy's d.i.c.k for a job well done."

Richard stares at me. Early afternoon, too early for Richard. I smell the brandy he doses his coffee with. He is a little slowed-down by all the poisons in his blood, but even slowed-down Richard Pryor is quicker than any other human being on earth.

He laughs. I'm not saying Richard just laughs like an ordinary person laughs. I mean he laughs laughs. His face lights up like a Times Square billboard and his whole body wags like a dog happy to see its owner.

You know you can die happy when you can make Richard Pryor laugh. It's this huge blast of appreciation, hipness, and intelligence. He gets gets it. His laugh is like ripping open a bag of joy, letting loose a storm that blows you head over heels. It is that powerful. it. His laugh is like ripping open a bag of joy, letting loose a storm that blows you head over heels. It is that powerful.

The greatest comics-and Richard is bar none the the great-est-always have the greatest laughs. great-est-always have the greatest laughs.

Later on, as the hard living takes its toll and the MS takes over, most of Richard's laughs will turn into fits of coughing, as though he's trying to hack up his liver. But a Richard Pryor laugh is still and always will be like getting a high five from G.o.d.

California yellow sun and Pacific blue sky. That September day in 1968, Richard and I are in Duke's Coffee Shop, the original one, in the old Tropicana Motel. Two dudes, two dudes, Two dudes, two dudes, like Richard starts one of his routines. We are the only black guys who can make the scene in Hollywood. We are groundbreakers, accepted at all the clubs, invited to all the parties. When we break into it, Hollywood is still a closed, racist town. The place has never seen anybody like us. We are fearless. We go everywhere. We break down barriers. We still get hara.s.sed by bigots and cheated by the system, but it never stops us. like Richard starts one of his routines. We are the only black guys who can make the scene in Hollywood. We are groundbreakers, accepted at all the clubs, invited to all the parties. When we break into it, Hollywood is still a closed, racist town. The place has never seen anybody like us. We are fearless. We go everywhere. We break down barriers. We still get hara.s.sed by bigots and cheated by the system, but it never stops us.

Later that night my wife, Yvonne, gets dressed up and we go to Troubadour on Santa Monica to hear Richard perform his stand-up routine. He's a different comic when I am in the audience. He hears my laugh and he s.h.i.+fts gears, elevating his act to a higher, edgier level. I can tell he is trying to make me laugh, but I'm not going to give it up that easy. I make him work for it. He pushes himself.

From the stage of the Troub that night, I hear Richard do the line I gave him earlier in Duke's coffee shop.

"Coming here tonight, I saw a woman so motherf.u.c.king beautiful gorgeous that it made me want to suck her daddy's d.i.c.k for a job well done."

The joke kills kills. The way Richard tells it, it kills kills. The audience practically vomits laughter.

Later that same night-or is it early morning by then?- Richard tells me to hold my arm out.

"What for?"

"Just hold it out, motherf.u.c.ker."

He slips a watch on my wrist. A good watch-I can feel its heavyweight ma.s.s on my arm-a $10,000 beauty. The kind of watch you call a timepiece. timepiece.

"What's this for?"

"The bit," he says.

"What bit?" I play dumb.

"The suck-her-father's-d.i.c.k bit."

"Oh, that," I say. "That's just you and me talking. I could hardly tell if you were awake when I told you that."

"Take the f.u.c.king watch. You don't like it, motherf.u.c.ker, sell it. Take the money, Mr. Mooney."

He always calls me that. Mr. Mooney. Off that character on the The Lucy Show. The Lucy Show.

I take the watch.

The funniest man on the face of the earth wants me to write for him. It begins to click. I think: This thing we have, this Batman-and-Robin thing, can somehow turn into something that means money and good times for both of us. I toss lines to Richard. He puts them out to the audience. The audience flings money at him. Richard throws money at me.

The truth is, it's never about the money for me. I love Richard. I am his biggest fan. I get off on him doing one of my jokes. It means so much to me. I want Richard to be happy and to succeed. My loyalty is to Richard, and my relations.h.i.+p with him is authentic, as though he is my brother. On all of Richard's alb.u.ms, you can hear me laugh. I always laugh long and loud.

Those first days together in 1968 are the beginning of a beautiful friends.h.i.+p.

CHAPTER 2.

First time I meet Richard Pryor, it's in the late 1960s at a crowded party in my bungalow on Sunset. The place is full of people.

Richard walks in, and right away I sense he is different. Out of the corner of my eye, I chart his course through the party people. He has a woman with him, but she trails behind as though he has forgotten all about her.

He is smiling and laughing. Everything pleases him. He knows there are lots of women and drugs around, and that fills him with childish delight.

Like a kid in a candy store, I think. I think.

He is the eternal child. That is Richard's whole secret, right there. A lot of us swallow our childlike side, beat it down, scorch it clean. Not Richard. He speaks with the vulnerability of a child, and that's what makes people love him.

So he makes his way through the party, and finally he arrives at me, and right away, the first thing out of his mouth, he says he wants to go to bed with me.

Not me, personally. Ain't n.o.body straighter and more p.u.s.s.y-crazy than Richard. He means he wants to go to bed with me and the women I am with and the woman he's with and whatever other women he can convince to jump in with us. All of us together.

"Let's all get in bed and have a freak thing!" he says.

The first words I ever hear out of Richard Pryor's mouth.

Only, the woman I am with is my half sister, Carol LaBrea. Carol is drop-dead gorgeous. She's a model, the first black woman ever to make it on the cover of a white fas.h.i.+on magazine, French Vogue. Vogue. Naturally, Richard is knocked out by her. Naturally, Richard is knocked out by her.

Carol knows the woman Richard's with, a cute little girl who works for pro football Hall of Famer and actor Jim Brown. Carol and she moonlight as go-go dancers in the cages at Whisky A Go Go on the Strip.

Hollywood, 1968. Everyone in town is talking about a new movie being shot at Columbia Pictures. A free-love kind of movie. Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice it's called when it comes out, but right now everyone refers to it as "the Natalie Wood swingers movie." Or "Elliot Gould's thing where he winds up in bed with everybody." it's called when it comes out, but right now everyone refers to it as "the Natalie Wood swingers movie." Or "Elliot Gould's thing where he winds up in bed with everybody."

I always call it Bob & Carol & Ted & La.s.sie. Bob & Carol & Ted & La.s.sie.

Orgies are in the air back then.

I look at Richard, and I'm thinking, Who is this freak? Who is this freak?

I laugh and say, "You just say whatever comes into your head, don't you?"

Richard laughs. "Let's go, let's do it, man, look at these ladies!"

Who is this ... child child? Because that's how he strikes me right away. A lot of people might come out of the bag at him, get all p.i.s.sed because he's suggesting an orgy. I have all the more reason to be affronted, since Carol is my half sister.

But from the very start, from that first meeting, I find it impossible to get angry at Richard. He's so obviously without guile. He just has no inhibitions. Like a baby-I want the t.i.t, and I am going to grab for the t.i.t.

No other considerations figure into his actions, nothing else other than "I want it." No ideas like, Well, this might not be cool, or, maybe I'm being rude-nothing like that. The man is short on impulse control.

For everybody else in the world, an att.i.tude such as this comes off as totally insufferable. But Richard makes it work because he's completely open and vulnerable. Sure, he's selfish. But he's selfish with the innocence of a four-year-old. He's like the way I used to be when I was a child. He makes me feel protective toward him.

I tell him no, I am not going to get into an orgy with him.

Richard slides away from me like the iceberg sliding away from the t.i.tanic t.i.tanic. I watch him as he continues on, cras.h.i.+ng into other groups and couples at the party. Wanna do an orgy? Wanna do an orgy? I have to laugh. I don't feel any blowback or negativity from him because I refuse. He just moves on to the next possibility. But that brief run-in gives me a strange gut feeling, as though everything in my world is going to change. I have to laugh. I don't feel any blowback or negativity from him because I refuse. He just moves on to the next possibility. But that brief run-in gives me a strange gut feeling, as though everything in my world is going to change.

"If he keeps that up," Carol says, "he's going to get himself a beatdown."

"If he keeps that up," I say, "he's going to get himself laid."

Two weeks later, I b.u.mp into him again at a Trini Lopez concert in West Hollywood. I see him at the after-party backstage, and he runs around pretending to hide from me. When I finally corner him, he fake cowers and says, "Don't hit me!" I can't help laughing.

"If I'd a known she was your sister, I never would have said that," Richard says.

"How'd you do that night?" I ask him. "You ever find an orgy?"

"Oh, I did okay," he says, laughing. But not before I catch something vague about his response.

"You don't remember what happened that night, do you?" I say.

"I must've been high," he says. He shrugs.

It's the first hint I get of Richard Pryor's Eternal Present. Maybe I should just fade away from him right now, Maybe I should just fade away from him right now, I think. I think. Avoid a lot of trouble. Avoid a lot of trouble. Then Richard laughs, and I know I'm hooked. We have a drink together, and just like that, we are best friends. It's as though I have known him all my life. It's that deep, that quick. Then Richard laughs, and I know I'm hooked. We have a drink together, and just like that, we are best friends. It's as though I have known him all my life. It's that deep, that quick.

Even though I have a feeling that sooner or later it's all going to crash, I still accept Richard's friends.h.i.+p. He is irresistible.

CHAPTER 3.

In 1968, Richard has one foot in the straight world and one foot hovering in midair. He's in the process of stepping forward into a new style of comedy of his own making, but he's still wondering how it's going to play onstage. He's off balance.

Bill Cosby represents straight success, straight comedy, straight laughs. He is monster, the most successful comic of the day. Hit alb.u.ms, riffs that are being copied in every schoolyard in the country, kids acting them out line by line. Funny, funny s.h.i.+t.