A Time To Dance Part 39

"Good."

I look up to see Dhanam akka standing in front of me.

"Good," she repeats.

A word I've never heard her say to me until today.

"I am a teacher and yet there are limits to what I can teach.

I cannot teach a student how to create the sacred s.p.a.ce a meditative dancer enters, and so invites her audience to enter.

She must discover it on her own.

Alone beneath this banyan tree today you danced without any desire for acclaim.

So your dancing feet led you into the temple of the dancing s.h.i.+va where they will always lead you, and those who watch, as long as you dance for your vision of the sacred.

You carried my soul to a great height.

Thank you."

I.

should be thanking her.

"I'd like you to start solo lessons with me," akka continues.

"But, akka- I'm not yet-I'm not advanced enough."

"Aren't you?" Laughter spills out of akka, her mouth thrown open so wide I can see both rows of her teeth.

"There are three kinds of love, Veda.

A healthy love of one's physical self, compa.s.sion for others, and an experience of G.o.d.

Most of my students take decades to experience these loves through dance.

Yet you are already starting to understand all three.

So I shall do all I can to ensure your wish to become a dancer is fulfilled."

I want to say-do-something to thank her.

But my tongue and my hands and my head feel too heavy with joy to move.

"A guru is a kind of parent.

And although you are not my daughter now, perhaps you were in a previous life.

Or will be in a future one."

Akka rests a hand briefly on my forehead.

Then she leaves.

STRETCHING AHEAD.

As I leave the stage beneath the banyan tree, I see Govinda racing up the drive toward me.

"Veda, I got your note and I came to tell you news I hope you'll be happy about.

I'm sorry it took me so long to share this with you but it hasn't been easy."

Govinda's tone is nervous, words streaming out faster than usual.

"With akka's help, I found a dance scholars.h.i.+p with room and board.

I told my parents I was going to move out and take it.

My dad threw a fit.

He threatened to cut me out of his will.

But my mom sided with me and my dad's made peace.

Maybe my finding that scholars.h.i.+p finally made them both see what dance meant to me."

"That's wonderful! I'm so happy for you!

But akka never said a word about all this.

Radhika didn't either."

"Only because I wanted to tell you myself, Veda.

I needed to work things out. Trust I'd be able to do it.

Please don't be angry- I won't keep things from you again."

"You're always keeping things from me," I tease.

"I never knew you were a talented artist until you sent me those sketches on my birthday."

"You liked my sketches?

Will you come with me sometime for a cup of coffee?

I'd have asked you out earlier," he rushes on, "except I felt I didn't deserve you.

You're so strong and such a fighter.

I was always doing exactly what my parents wanted.

Until now.

So, yes or no, Veda?"

"Yes or no what?"

"Will you go out with me for a cup of coffee?"

"No."

"No?"

"I prefer tea, thank you."

FADING PHANTOMS.

Govinda meets me at an outdoor cafe.

We sit at a table under a pipul tree.

The type of tree that ripped up my life.

And so the tree that helped me lose and find dance.

My limb feels hot and sweaty.

I unclick my right leg, roll the socks off my residual limb, expose my skin to the cool breeze.

A big yellow Labrador runs over from a neighboring table and sniffs at my residual limb.

As the dog's tail brushes against my crescent-moon scar, my phantom limb tingles into life.

But it tickles instead of p.r.i.c.kling with pain.

I laugh. Uncontrollably.

"What?" Govinda says. "What?"

"The dog's brought my ghost sensation back.

Except this time, my leg's tickling me."

Govinda yanks the dog away and glances at the s.p.a.ce below my limb as if he's searching for my phantom.

I take his hand, lead it to the nonexistent length of leg.

His fingers feel soft.

His fingers feel good stroking my invisible skin.

So good I want him stroking my real skin.

Want to reach out and stroke his.

My desire scares me and I reach for the safety of my teacup.

My ghost limb fades.

Govinda lays a hand on my cheek.

I lean into his touch.

He looks shy and almost as scared as I was just feeling.

I burst out laughing.

Never imagined we'd share being scared the first time we went out together.

"What's so funny now?"

"You. You look so frightened."

"I am frightened." He exhales.

Then smiles and slides closer to me.