A Time To Dance Part 26

Acknowledge your pain.

Allow yourself to feel your loss."

I don't mind pus.h.i.+ng my body to test my balance.

I don't want to push my mind back into that cold pit where the accident led me.

But if that's what it takes to dance again, I'll make myself relive the tree coming closer the smells of burnt rubber, of vomit, of blood.

Screaming silence.

s.h.i.+vering, almost doubled over, I take a step down into the s.p.a.ce where light is an enemy but not even darkness shrouds my terror.

Another step into hospital corridors winding like snakes.

I enter my writhing ma.s.s of fear, horror, desperation.

And stay there.

Tears streak down my cheeks.

Seen through tears my new foot seems softer, my five stiff toes blurred at the edges.

Akka stretches her arms out toward me.

And I realize she's showing me I'm strong enough to reenter the pit of despair because she wants to help me climb all the way out.

DRAGONS.

and

GECKOS.

Govinda is waiting for me on the empty stage under the banyan tree.

He asks, "How did your session with akka go?"

"Draining and strengthening. Both.

Thanks for waiting for me, but I know it's late, Govinda.

I understand if you don't have time to work with me today."

"You understand?" His voice sounds as rich and deep when he teases as it does when he's serious. "Miracles do happen.

My demon is softening. She's understanding."

"I thought I was your little sister. Not your demon."

Govinda doesn't clarify where I stand in his affections.

He grins and waves a gift-wrapped package in front of my face. "For you."

"Why? It's not my birthday or anything." I reach for it.

Govinda s.n.a.t.c.hes it away just as my fingers touch the ribbon.

"It's not your birthday or anything?

Maybe I should wait and give it to you later."

"Give it here." I dart forward.

"Come and get it," he taunts, quickening his pace, keeping the package just out of my reach.

He makes me chase him, then lets me pin him against the banyan's trunk.

"I got you to run fast.

That, in itself, should count as a lesson," he says, raising the package high above his head.

We tussle for it. A b.u.t.ton on his s.h.i.+rt pops and I feel the bare skin of my waist press against his skin.

The package feels hotter than a handful of flames.

I let go.

Govinda hands it to me.

I untie the ribbon and open the package.

Inside is a bright yellow paper kite in the shape of some four-legged animal with a long tail.

"Like it? I made it."

I love how uncertain he looks.

And most of all that he spent time and effort to make me something.

"It's beautiful, Govinda. Is it a . . . gecko?"

He groans. "My sister thought it was, too.

It's meant to be a dragon."

"Geckos are sort of like real-life dragons.

Kind of magical, you know?

They have the power to regrow lost tails."

My words surprise me but it's good to find I'm no longer envious of animals whose powers of regeneration I lack.

"I don't know how to fly kites, though."

"If there's a field near your place and your parents don't mind, I could come by and teach you," he offers.

He's so focused on me, I feel I can see his soul s.h.i.+ning in the depths of his eyes.

FLIGHT.

of

FEELING.

I'm in the bedroom trying to choose the prettiest dot to wear on my forehead when I hear Pa welcome Govinda in.

My heart thuds as though I'm dancing in the third and fastest speed.

Govinda's voice is offset by a high-pitched childish one.

He's brought his sister along.

I try not to feel too disappointed.

We will still have time together, he did make me a gift for no reason, and bringing her shows how nice he is to everyone.

Mrs. Subramaniam's eyes pop out of their sockets when she sees me and Govinda walking out of our building together.

I realize I've never seen Shobana or even any of her older daughters with a boy.

Until they were engaged.

When we reach the field, Govinda whispers, "Sorry I brought Leela.

I have a hard time saying no to her."

"You're a sweet older brother.

Nothing wrong with that," I say.

A caged look comes over Govinda's face.

"I'm still having a hard time saying no to what my parents want me to do with my life, too, though.

I hate disturbing the peace and that's not always good."

I try to lighten his mood.

"You'd prefer to be a demon like me?"

"I actually would." He touches my chin with a forefinger.

"I'd love to be brave enough, clear enough, to show them how much I want to be a dancer.

Every time the topic comes up, my pa and ma tell me how hard they've worked so I could have a comfortable life, how long it took to establish their firm and make it flourish, how it's my duty to earn well so I can look after them in their old age and my duty to look after their legacy that I'll inherit."

"Maybe you should try having an accident.

Worked well with me and my ma."

Shaking his head, Govinda smiles.

"Can't believe you can joke about that!"

Leela interrupts us, yanking at Govinda's arm and yelling, "Help me fly my kite!"