Weakness: No Longer Weak Part 8

The temperature had dropped even more, and I s.h.i.+vered as soon as I walked outside. Finnley had started the car from inside with the key, so it was warm. I looked down the driveway and saw the Rover in the distance. Abbot must have slept there all night.

Though the cemetery was just a mile down the road, it felt as though it were cities away. The clouds were death, doom, and destruction, and I knew that we would be having one of those signature Texan thunderstorms, where the sky wept and filled the streets with rain all within a few minutes.

Finnley pulled in the driveway, and I pointed to where he should park. Abbot pulled in behind us and got out of the Rover, but Finnley shooed him away. This was a private matter, and he knew that. Abbot stayed leaning against the dark blue Range Rover.

My parents were buried under an oak tree that stayed green throughout the year. I always thought it was so morbid that they knew where they would be buried, but now I understood. It was almost comforting to know. My heart raced when we made our way down the pathway.

When we made it to the tree, I gasped. Heaviness so smothering weighed down on me when I saw my parents' headstones turned over and cracked. Tears of anger, question, and disgust streamed down my face. Who would do such a thing? Finnley wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"Who . . . who would do such a terrible thing?" My voice was small as I pushed with everything I could to talk. I couldn't handle what I was seeing. I dropped to my knees and covered my face with my hands.

"Mom and Dad. I'm so sorry. This is my fault." I felt like I had lost them all over again.

Finnley balled his hands into fists, and when I looked at him through tear-filled eyes, I could see the anger streaming through him. His nostrils flared, and he was grinding his teeth.

"f.u.c.king Jesse," he said more to himself than to me. "I'm going to fix this."

I felt like the sky. I felt like letting it all pour out, flooding the streets to the point of not being able to see. Finnley held me close as we walked back to the car. Abbot shook his head and gave me sad eyes. Finnley and I got inside the car, and he slammed the door behind him.

In July, I had ran away from Texas. I could admit that now.

Seeing their headstones in pieces awoke an anger inside me that I had never experienced before. Ripples of rage shot through me, and I wanted revenge. No longer would I run from my problems; instead, I would go after them head on.

FINNLEY.

Fifteen.

We made it to Houston in record time, despite the traffic that filled I-10 at all times of the day. My anger fueled how fast I drove, and I was surprised Abbot was able to keep up with all the lane changes and accelerations. But then again, he was an expert when it came to car chases. The rental company allowed us to drop off our cars and gave us a shuttle to the private hangar that I had rented for the weekend.

Jennifer hadn't said a word since we had left Port Arthur. She had sealed herself completely shut, and I refused to push her to talk about it. The look on her face killed me, and I felt myself being destroyed from the inside out. The urge to protect her, and to somehow take her pain away, gnawed at me. I never wanted to see her look so broken again, and I would make sure I stayed true to that. My heart couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle it. Someone had destroyed her parents' place of rest out of pure disrespect, and I had no doubt in my mind that it was Jesse. She was an evil, vindictive b.i.t.c.h like that.

I opened the door to the plane and held my hand out for Jennifer. I gave her a smile, and she gave me a sad one in return. Abbot climbed in the back, and soon we were making our way down the runway. It hadn't started raining yet, but I knew it would at any moment, which always made flying more interesting.

Once we were in the air, I grabbed Jennifer's hand and squeezed it. She had to know that she wasn't alone in this, and that I was there for her. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back on the seat. We continued forward through the rain and turbulence, but I had learned to fly through this s.h.i.+t and enjoyed the challenge. Though challenges usually got me in trouble.

Abbot spoke, almost in a whisper, and pulled me from my thoughts. "They've tracked her down, ya know."

Jennifer's eyes shot open, and she turned to look at Abbot.

"Her phone has been traced and was last seen in Arizona. It's believed that she went to Port Arthur, stopped in Houston, spotted you all, tried to do everything in her power to f.u.c.k you up, and is now driving back to Vegas. She's also in a rental car. And I've gotten word from Baxtor that she's recruiting men, paying them large amounts of money. Finnley, when we get back, I need you to check everything you can at the office to make sure she isn't funneling money. There is no way she can pay for all of this, and it sickens me to think that you're paying for your own demise."

I closed my eyes and ma.s.saged my eyelids. "Thank you, Abbot. I'm planning to go back to work tomorrow. There are several things at the office that can't wait."

Jennifer looked at me. I hated telling her this way, but she had to know that I couldn't stay home.

"Abbot will be with you at all times," I said.

She leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

"I'm not that b.l.o.o.d.y annoying," Abbot said, almost offended.

I stifled a laugh. "You can be."

She was now officially closed tight.

We flew through a patch of turbulence that felt like it would rip the wings off the plane. I thought I heard Abbot release a high-pitched scream, and I burst into laughter. One of the scariest, most frightening men I knew screamed like a girl.

"You're scaring the s.h.i.+t out of me," Abbot said.

"Nature is scaring the s.h.i.+t of you, not me."

Soon the view opened up to blue skies and wisps of clouds. The storm was behind us, but somehow I felt like I was flying straight into it. After hours of silence and flying, we approached the airport. I gave the calls and was given permission to land. It was always my favorite part of flying-landing and taking off-because at that point, I really felt like I was in control. I loved being in control in all aspects. I supposed that was why I hated being a target; when I was in the line of fire, I had very little control.

Jennifer had fallen asleep but soon awoke when we landed. Everything felt wrong. A sad tug pulled at my heart, and I had to fix it. The weekend was officially a failure. No matter what I tried to do, no matter how much I tried to make her happy, it all seemed to fall through. I supposed that was my luck, and I was a bit perturbed by that.

The hangar waited with the sliding door open, and I pulled in. We were soon unloading the bags from the plane and then walking toward the car. The keys waited on a hook by the door. One of the garage managers locked up, and I watched in the rearview mirror as he closed the sliding door. I reached my hand over, interlocked my fingers with Jennifer's, and squeezed.

She continued to stare out the window.

My heart crushed when I thought about everything that had happened.

I watched her unwind as we pulled into the driveway of the house. Luke's Volvo was parked in the driveway, along with other random vehicles that belonged to Abbot's men. Liam, Abbot's right-hand man, had stayed behind and taken charge while he was in Texas.

A small smile touched my lips when I saw her shoulders fully relax. This may not be the house she had grown up in, but it was a place where she felt safe, a place where no one would hurt her, and that was enough for now. You can take a girl out of Texas, but you can't take Texas out of the girl's heart. I'd learned that.

The sun set over the mountains and a rusty color filled the sky.

We walked inside, and Luke stood from the couch. His eyes met mine, then slid to Jennifer. She gave him a small smile, then headed up the stairs without saying a word. After a minute, I heard the door click shut.

"f.u.c.k," I said.

"What's wrong? I've never seen her like that before. Are you okay?" Luke asked.

"They're fine. p.i.s.sed though," Abbot said. He took his leather jacket off, threw it on the back of the couch, and stretched.

"I've got to take care of this. I'm sorry. Abbot can fill you in," I said. I walked to Luke and gave him a huge hug, then made my way up the stairs.

I wanted her to know that it was okay to be upset and that crying didn't mean she was weak.

FINNLEY.

Sixteen.

I walked inside the bedroom, where she was curled into a ball on the bed. She didn't acknowledge that I had entered. Slowly, I climbed onto the bed and wrapped my arms around her, then pulled her against my warm body. With care, I brushed her hair from her neck and rested my chin against her warm skin. She inhaled deeply.

"I love you, Jennifer. If you don't want to talk, I understand, but I want you to know that I'm always here for you. You don't have to put up a front for me. It's okay to be yourself and feel how you feel."

She rolled over until her face was inches from mine. The puffiness around her eyes gave away her faded tears. I brushed my thumb against her cheek, leaned in, and kissed her. She poured her emotions into the kisses, but she still hadn't said a word. Warmth from her body covered me.

"Finnley." Her voice was hoa.r.s.e from not speaking. I had waited hours for her to talk, though I knew she eventually would. The look in her eyes and the slump in her shoulders screamed defeat.

"It was like I lost them all over again. I expected everything to stay exactly the way I had left them, but it seems each time I go back home, everything changes. It's one of the only constants in my life-change. My heart can only take so much. Seeing their headstones broken and on the ground like that did exactly what Jesse intended it to. It made me weak. My tears were those of anger, hate, and pain." She paused and sucked in a deep breath "I'm p.i.s.sed and upset. And I just want it all to go away. I don't want to feel these emotions pulsing through me anymore. I don't."

"I wish I could take it all away." I wanted to pull her away from the shadows of her dark paradise.

"You can," she whispered.

I looked at her with hooded eyes. She knew I would do anything for her, anything she asked, and right now, Jennifer was the person in control. I would fold for her, lie down, and give her everything I was.

Her lips brushed across my neck and nibbled up to my mouth.

"f.u.c.k the pain away," she whispered.

I ran my fingers through her hair and pulled her head back until she was forced to look into my eyes.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" I asked with warning in my tone. If I fully let myself go with her, I might not be able to stop.

"f.u.c.k me like you hate me. Break me," she said.

When it came to Jennifer, I'd always tried to stay in control, but she wanted this, and if this would take her away her pain, I would give her everything I had.

"One condition," I said in a low voice in her ear.

Her eyes widened and she gasped as I pulled her hair harder.

"I'll give you all of me. But. If it becomes too much, you have to say so," I said.

"Yes, sir," she said.

I growled, and with a strong hand, I ripped her s.h.i.+rt from her body. Her breathing steadily increased, and I hovered over her. Brown eyes stared into mine. I dipped my head down and sunk my teeth into her shoulder, then kissed the pain away. She moved her hands to touch me, and I yanked them above her head, holding them by her wrists.

"You're under my control, Ms. Downs. You do what I say." For a moment, I thought I saw something flash behind her eyes-admiration. I swam in the sounds of her heavy breathing, and my heart picked up its pace. Carefully, I unsnapped her bra and inched her pants down, then I stood beside the bed and memorized her body as I removed my s.h.i.+rt and pants. Black lace panties hugged her hips, but they would be gone soon, torn straight off her body.

I lay down beside her and licked my way down to her nipple, then twirled it in my mouth and nibbled. She gasped and arched her back as my hand slid down to her pretty little panties. I put pressure on her c.l.i.t, just enough to make her beg for more, then pulled my hand away. I loved teasing her to the point of annoyance before allowing her the release her body begged for.

I ran my hand over her belly b.u.t.ton then dipped my hand inside her panties. She sucked in a deep breath and closed her eyes, pus.h.i.+ng herself into me. I tried with everything I had to hold back a grin of satisfaction. I slipped my fingers under the string that connected the panties to her body. With a quick twist of my fingers and a yank, they snapped, leaving marks on her upper thigh. She sighed as if the pain had opened some sort of entrance to her heart. Jennifer was chocolate in my hand, melting into syrup. Everything about her in this moment marked her as mine. Hands ran down my chest, and I growled at her. Instantly, she placed her hands back above her head. A s.h.i.+ver ran over her as my fingers moved up to her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and traced the softness of her skin. Light moans escaped her, while her breathing increased. She tucked her bottom lip into her mouth and lost herself in the moment. Beauty lay in front of me, with cream-colored skin and gorgeous curves. Never in my life had I seen anyone as s.e.xy as Jennifer was right then, confident in her s.e.xuality, taking every touch I gave her with greed.

I was not a weak man, but seeing her like this twisted a knot of want and need inside me that was so powerful, and the only person who could undo it was Jennifer. I gently grabbed her by her chin and her eyes flew open.

"I love you," I said, needing her to know, wanting her to hear those three powerful words in this exact moment. When she smiled, I knew my words had touched her heart.

"I love you too. Now f.u.c.k me." She ran her fingers through my hair and yanked me closer to her face. Our breaths mingled, and I couldn't hold back anymore. If this was what she wanted, this was what she would get.

She pushed me onto my back and took complete control. Slowly, she straddled me and took all of me. I sighed, and so did she. Fingernails scratched down my chest as she moved her hips with forceful intention. She wildly swung her head back and whispered my name. Knowing I had to take control, I rolled her onto her back and switched positions. Then I gave her every bit of me, hard, just how she begged for it. At first her moans were soft, then with every long stroke they became more powerful.

She gave me her body, her heart, and herself. Words escaped me as my heart ached for her, even though I had her.

What was she doing to me?

Allowing me to fall in love, encouraging it even.

We were in love. We were together. We shared an emotion that couldn't be broken by anything other than death. Our hearts had intertwined, rooting to each other. I experienced emotions so controlling that I could have easily lost myself, and slowly, I was. The only thing I could blame was love, real love. The type that poets wrote about, artists sung about, and actors performed. Jennifer was my drug, and I had to have her as much as possible.

Though earlier she was at her lowest, right now, Jennifer was a bird soaring in the sky, piercing clouds with silky wings, losing everything that she was with me. She had changed. I had changed, but one thing was for certain: tomorrow would be a new day and no matter what happened, as long as we were together, we could handle it.

JENNIFER.

Seventeen.

Finnley hovered above me, his hard body pressed against mine. I needed to feel him, every inch of him. Red marks already lined his chest, and when he slowly pushed himself inside me, I ran fingernails down his back. He loved it. He loved me.

I leaned up and bit his shoulder as he pushed deeper, harder, and faster. All I could focus on was him, and how his hair fell in his face, and how f.u.c.king good I felt when he was inside me. My heart hammered and my body slowly let go of all stress from the inside out. It was just Finnley and me. Nothing mattered anymore. Nothing. He didn't stop f.u.c.king me hard. My moans climbed in pitch, and I became more pa.s.sionate, wanting more and more of him, though he was giving me everything. He dipped his head down and pulled my nipple between his teeth.

"Oh f.u.c.k," I whispered, knowing exactly where this was going. I was an instrument that he was playing, strumming every chord in every scale. My eyes fluttered shut, and I pulled him closer. Our panting escaped us at the same time, and his body glistened with sweat. What had I done to deserve him?

Sometimes the little voice in the back of my head told me I didn't deserve him. The thought diminished when Finnley's lips pressed against mine. The way I felt was almost indescribable. My body was no longer mine. It was as if I had given it away, and I was floating in s.p.a.ce, hovering where gravity didn't exist. I needed him more than even he knew.

He kissed me sweetly on the cheek, and I didn't know how much more of him I could take. The o.r.g.a.s.m teetered, but Finnley wouldn't let me have what I wanted until he was ready. His movement slowed significantly, and I let out a huff of annoyance. A smile touched his lips, and I lifted my eyebrows at him.

He returned the gesture. "Do you need something, Ms. Downs?" he whispered in my ear then nibbled on the bottom of my earlobe.

Tingles shot through me. "You. More of you," I said then begged with my eyes.

He chuckled, then f.u.c.ked me.

I gasped and completely lost myself in the o.r.g.a.s.m. Moments later, he was letting go inside me. He was pure ecstasy, my own personal addiction.

Waves of satisfaction poured through me. I didn't know who I was or where I was, and I didn't care.

Every worry and every care I had experienced earlier was replaced with Finnley, and I wouldn't have it any other way. This was what I wanted, needed, and would have begged for had he told me no.