Shattered Hearts: Relentless Part 9

I shake my head as I straighten my legs out in front of me and pull the sheet up to my chest to cover myself. "You think you want to know what happened-what made me drop out-but you don't understand that if I tell you you'll want nothing more to do with me."

"You don't know that."

He brushes my messy hair out of my eyes and the look in his eyes breaks my heart. I will never tell him.

"Come here," he whispers as he pulls me into his arms.

As soon as I press the side of my face to his shoulder, the tears come again. What the h.e.l.l was I thinking? Enough time hasn't pa.s.sed since that day in the hospital. I should have known it was too soon.

Chapter Twelve.

Relentless Waves AFTER SAt.u.r.dAY'S BREAKDOWN, I'M SHOCKED that he still wants me to go to the beach with him on Wednesday night, my only day off from the cafe this week. I spend all day Wednesday at the apartment. I immediately get caught up in an endless loop of watching recorded episodes of Vampire Diaries, doing laundry, and meditating. By the time Senia gets home early from work, I've washed all our clothes and linens and meditated four times. I haven't felt this relaxed in weeks.

She hangs her purse up on the peg inside the coat closet and plops down next to me on the sofa. "I can't work with him anymore!"

I know she's referring to her dad. He spoils her financially, but he's also extremely controlling. Growing up, her father dictated what Senia and her two sisters wore, ate, and who they befriended up until they graduated from high school. She wasn't allowed to date until her senior year and only then because her date was a friend of the family. When she got to UNC two years ago, she was a completely different person than she is now. She was scared and shy, but it didn't take long for the real Senia to emerge. In the beginning of our freshman year, it was the alcohol that brought her out. Eventually she stopped getting drunk every weekend.

The first time she talked back to her father was when he refused to put the pink slip for her car in her name. She knew he only wanted the car in his name so he could use the car as a means to control her. From the moment she told him to f.u.c.k off their relations.h.i.+p changed. He now only speaks to her when he needs to for work purposes. Their relations.h.i.+p is almost enough to make me grateful I never knew my father.

"What did he do today?" I ask as I reach for the remote.

"Why do you ask like that, like you're tired of hearing me complain about my job?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to give off that vibe. I guess it was just a bad word choice. I should have left off today'."

Senia sighs as she puts her feet up on the coffee table. "It's okay. I'm just really annoyed right now. He wants me to move back in this weekend. I told him there's still four more weeks before the semester starts, but he said he would take my car away if I don't go back to working at the main office, where he can keep an eye on me. He's tired of me leaving work early."

"And your response was to leave work early?"

She turns to me and I can see by the apologetic look in her eyes that she agreed to her father's demands. "I'm so sorry, Claire, but I need my car."

I nod and manage a weak smile. "It's no big deal. I can find another roommate. And, hey, Linda might actually give me more hours if I ask Adam to go on a date with her."

"G.o.d, I feel like such a dirt-bag leaving you hanging like this. I really wanted to spend the rest of the summer here."

"Don't feel bad," I say, grabbing her hand. "I'll be fine. And you and Eddie are welcome to hang out or sleepover whenever you want."

She stares at me for a moment and I can see the wheels turning in her head. "You should move in with-"

"Don't say it!"

"Whatever. Are you two still going surfing today?"

"Yeah, unless you want to do something. I feel like I should be spending the rest of this week with you."

"Oh, please. You act like I'm dying in four days."

"Well, not all of you."

"Yeah, just the part that loves watching you meditate."

At exactly six in the evening, a knock comes at the door. I'm ready with my yellow bikini underneath my faded-blue Roxy T-s.h.i.+rt and a pair of white board shorts that I usually only wear around the house because they barely cover my a.s.s, but Senia insisted I wear them. I'm excited. I've seen guys-hot guys-surfing at the beach dozens of times since I moved to Wrightsville Beach, but something about getting to see Adam out there gives me b.u.t.terflies. I'm finally going to get to share his pa.s.sion for the water with him. And enough time, and meditation, has pa.s.sed between Sat.u.r.day and today that I'm feeling a lot less guilty about leaving him hanging.

I open the door and Adam is leaning against the doorframe with one hand in the pocket of his board shorts. He's s.h.i.+rtless so even when he looks up at me with those striking green eyes, all I can look at is his perfectly muscular chest.

"Are you ready to get tossed?"

"Is that a promise?" I say as I step outside.

He laughs as he throws his arms around my waist, lifts me off the ground, and kisses me. His lips are warm and soft as I take his bottom lip between my teeth.

He moans softly and I feel him stiffening against me. "You'd better stop that or I'm going to take you upstairs right now."

I give him a soft peck on the lips then tighten my arms around his neck as I lay my head on his shoulder. He squeezes me tightly and I sigh. This is the best hug I've gotten in months. He finally sets me down and cradles my face as he kisses both my eyelids.

"Thanks for coming with me."

I grin uncontrollably because something has s.h.i.+fted between us. Something magical is happening. I feel deliriously happy for the first time since Chris left.

Adam says he normally walks to the beach, but today we're taking the truck because he brought an extra surfboard for me. He parks in front of a house near the beach and carries both our boards across the sand. He lays the boards flat on the damp sand near the edge of the water and looks at me.

"Have you ever surfed?"

"I have, actually. Fallon, the girl who taught me to meditate, tried to teach me a couple of times. I actually stood up on the board once."

"Good," he says, tucking his board under his arm. "Then I don't have to go through all the standard stuff about how to pop up."

"Really? We're just going to go right out?"

"Claire, the sun's going down in less than two hours. You won't be able to surf after the sun goes down."

"But you do."

"Because I don't need to see the water to know where it's going."

I can't help but sigh as I peel off my clothes. "That is so hot."

"Besides, the sharks come out at night."

"Sharks!"

He shakes his head as he bounds toward the water. I grab my board and follow after him. Once we're waist deep in the warm Atlantic Ocean, we're forced to continually duck dive under the relentless waves until we're far enough past the breaks. We paddle out a bit further until we get to a place where we can turn around to face the beach. I can hardly breathe and my limbs ache. My arms tremble as I climb onto the board to straddle it the way Adam does.

"Are you okay?"

I nod because I don't have enough air in my lungs to speak.

The rolling motion of the water is carrying our boards farther apart and making me a little queasy. He holds his hand out to me. I take his hand and he yanks me toward him.

"Okay, I'm going to tell you something I never tell anybody when they ask me for a surfing lesson."

"What?"

"You look really s.e.xy in that bikini."

"And you'd better not tell anyone else that."

"Ooh, you wear jealousy even better than you wear that bikini," he says as he leans over and kisses my temple. "You should take it off."

"Focus, Adam."

"Right." He gazes at the waves as they crash onto the sh.o.r.e before us for a while before he speaks again. What he says has nothing to do with surfing. "I want you to meet my parents."

"That's your idea of focusing?"

He tilts his head as he looks at me because he knows I'm trying to avoid the subject.

"You don't have to, but I'm going there this weekend. They're having their annual summer picnic on my uncle's ranch and I want you to come with me because I don't think I can handle being away from you all weekend."

I recognize that jittery feeling in my belly, and it's the feeling that scares me more than what Adam's proposing. I can feel myself falling. Hard. If I meet his parents, it will be like completely giving into that feeling. This won't be infatuation anymore. It will be serious.

Say something, Claire, my inner voice shouts at me.

"Okay."

"You'll go?"

I nod fiercely and he leans over to kiss me so fast we both flip our boards and slip into the water. A tangle of seaweed snags on my foot and I scream. He laughs as he gathers our boards.

"All right, no more fooling around. I'm about to give you a serious lesson." We climb back onto our boards and hold hands as we watch the waves break against the sh.o.r.e. "Pay attention to the rhythm and movement of the water."

He lets go of my hand and I draw in a deep breath. The water dips and surges beneath my board and I can feel my body relaxing as I grip the rails, paying close attention. There's a definite rhythm to the rise and crash of each wave. Without knowing, I realize I've closed my eyes and I'm visualizing the waves based on the sound. It's so peaceful out here.

"Are you ready?" he asks, and I nod as I open my eyes.

He points at the waves as he tells me what to do. I try to repeat all his instructions in my head as I lie down on the board. Push the nose down... lean into the direction of the wave.... Let the momentum of the water carry you.

He shoves my board forward and shouts, "Start paddling!"

My first lesson is a disaster so as soon as the sun starts to set behind us, I breathe a sigh of relief and make my way back to solid ground. My jelly legs give out beneath me and I fall to my knees next to my beach bag. I wipe the salt.w.a.ter from my face with a towel, lay the towel out on the sand, and collapse facedown.

"Hey, you didn't do too bad," Adam says as he pulls a bottle of water out of my beach bag and hands it to me.

I take the water and turn onto my side so I can guzzle it down. "Yeah, not so bad. I never once stood up."

"That's okay for your first time out. In fact, it's expected. Trust me, I'll have you riding in the curl soon."

"Are you going to take that weekend job on Sh.e.l.l Island?"

"Are you going to be my first student?"

"I can't afford surf lessons."

"I'm sure Jason won't mind me donating some lessons to a few hopeless cases every now and then."

I roll my eyes as I turn over onto my back. "I don't have the energy to be outraged by that comment."

We're both silent for a moment before I realize that the sun is about to set. I sit up and the intense look in his eyes tells me his mind is far away from this beach right now. He grabs my hand and the sand rubs between our wrinkled palms as he laces his fingers through mine.

"Claire, I asked you to go with me this weekend for more than one reason." He pauses for a moment before he peels his gaze away from the dazzling pink sunset to look at me. "I'm falling in love with you." I open my mouth to respond and he presses his finger against my lips to stop me. "I don't want you to say anything. I just want you to know that. I love you."

He waits a moment before he removes his finger from my lips.

I want to say it back because I think he deserves to hear it and because I do feel something strong like love growing inside of me. But I'm not certain yet. I scoot forward a little on my towel so our sides are touching and lean my head on his shoulder. He kisses my forehead as he wraps his towel around me. We watch the sunset in silence as I think to myself, Adam loves the sunset and me.

Chapter Thirteen.

Relentless Bickering "ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T need any more help packing?" I ask as I slip my feet into some strappy wedge sandals.

"If you ask me that one more time I'm going to hide your keys and lock you out of this apartment," Senia says, pus.h.i.+ng me out of the bedroom. "Get out of here. Go ride some horses on your cowboy's ranch. And while you're at it, ride your cowboy."

"It's not his ranch."

"Don't sa.s.s me, Claire, just do as you're told."

She pushes me all the way to the front door, still managing to grab my purse off the breakfast bar along the way. She pushes the purse into my chest and I pull her into a bone-crus.h.i.+ng hug.

"I'm going to miss having you here," I blubber into her hair. "Who am I going to watch Toni Collette movies with on my birthday."

"Girl, I'm taking August 9th off whether my dad likes it or not. We will be dancing and sobbing to Muriel's Wedding together. Now go."

I gave her one last squeeze before I release her. I bite my lip as I scurry out of the apartment, trying really hard to convince myself that being separated by a hundred miles is not going to change our friends.h.i.+p. When I moved out of Senia's house in May, I did it knowing she had promised to spend the summer with me. Now that she's leaving four weeks early, I have to fight the sinking feeling that our friends.h.i.+p is going to wither like the flowers on my nightstand.

I climb the stairs to Adam's apartment and knock softly. I'm beyond nervous about meeting his family, but the thought of spending an entire weekend with them is enough to make me want to confess my secret to Adam and go back to school-anything to get out of it. I've never done well meeting new people, especially when I feel like they're scrutinizing me.

I knock again, a little harder this time, and he answers the door quickly. He's dressed, but his hair is still damp and sticking out in every direction. And he smells heavenly.