Red Beans And Vice Part 17

"Amelia was correct. They have mailing services for that. And as for your problems, Heaven, just the one time was from me, when you were warned up on the Moonwalk. The other times, out on Highway 90, that must have been your friend Mary. Her husband fell victim to their greed. Poor thing. I always liked Truely."

"Of course, that's what Durant was trying to tell me. I was being chased and suffocated and run off the road and shot at and dumped in the river by two distinct and different groups of criminals," Heaven said with a smile. For some sick reason, she was enjoying this. "I'm glad you told me about the finder's fee that you got from Mary. Now I want a finder's fee from you."

"And what for, Heaven? What can you do for me?"

Heaven got up and stood behind Amelia's chair. "I'll need Amelia's help for this one. But the favor I'm going to do you is see to it that Amelia doesn't do a fun little report about how the cross you gave back to the nuns was a brand-new copy and the true cross somehow just happened to get sent to New York to an auction house."

Amelia turned sharply in her chair and glared at Nancy. "Is that for real?"

Heaven circled the table. "Nancy, I think you'll want to cancel your trip to New York. I called Sotheby's and told them I thought there was a mistake because the cross they had looked just like one that had been stolen in New Orleans. And I also called the nuns and told them they might look at the back of their cross, where that tiny little scratch was, where the metal looked brand-new. But so far your name hasn't been mentioned. I'm sure the two parties can work out a reasonable way to return the cross to its rightful owners without naming names. Or maybe not."

The old lady looked from Heaven to Amelia nervously. She wasn't quite as cool now. "You can't prove a thing."

Amelia nodded. "No, but I could remind the whole city that you were the one that found the so-called original cross under mysterious circ.u.mstances. You're too old to relocate, Nancy. You have that nice house on Governor Nicholls."

"It would be a shame if you couldn't show your face at Antoine's anymore. They like you so much there," Heaven threw in.

Nancy Blair shrugged. She knew when she was beaten. "I guess this is where I ask what your finder's fee is, Heaven."

Heaven leaned down and took one of Nancy's hands in hers. Then she whacked it hard with her other hand, twice. Nancy winced in spite of herself. "You are so naughty. If I ever hear of anything happening to the Sisters of the Holy Trinity again, I'll consider this deal broken. If they sell their convent for a casino, I'll be on a plane down here so fast it'll make your head spin. If you ever try to scare someone by threatening them with bodily harm like you did me, I'll consider the deal broken, even if it's not about the sisters. And that filth you wrote about all of our restaurants. I will keep asking my friends and if you ever do anything like that again, I'll lie to get you put in jail if I have to. I don't want anyone else to have to go through what you put us through. Amelia, are you with me on this? I know you're not fond of the nuns."

"I think it evens up the odds for the sisters to have you and me keeping an eye on Miss Nancy Blair," she said. "I'm in. But I may have to do a story about the fake cross. It's news."

"Fair enough. Just keep something for us to use to keep this one in line. Nancy, I'm going to start taking the Times-Picayune just so I can keep tabs on you. And remember, I'll lie and cheat if I have to. Now let's get out of this place. Poor Truely. He didn't deserve a two-timing wife and a two-timing best friend," Heaven said as they walked toward the front door.

"It's the South," Nancy Blair said, looking no worse for the negotiations that had just taken place.

"No, it's New Orleans," Amelia Hart pointed out as they closed the door.

Heaven stepped out of the shower. She could hear Bob Dylan playing in the bedroom. Hank was much too young to like Dylan. He must be playing it for her. She slipped into a big terry cloth robe and toweled her hair.

"Thank you for picking me up at the airport," she said as she went out into the big bedroom/study. Hank had a bottle of Veuve Cliquot in a wine bucket and two champagne flutes by the bed. "I've never been so glad to be home in my life."

"You'll be even happier in an hour. I guarantee it or your money back," Hank joked as he popped the cork on the champagne. "But before we get to that, call your daughter. She's in some town called Buzios, Brazil. She said call day or night. She's worried about you. Here's her number."

Heaven jumped on the bed and adjusted several pillows behind her. She pulled the phone in bed with her and received a gla.s.s of Veuve from Hank, who slipped in bed beside her as she dialed.

When Iris answered, Heaven's face broke into a smile. "Hi, honey. Happy Sunday. Now don't start yelling at your mother like that. I'm just fine. But wait till I tell you what happened. Someone threw me in the Mississippi River. It was my first time."

Hank raised his gla.s.s and they silently toasted each other. He started tracing the outline of her face with his finger.

"Honey, can I call you back tomorrow morning?" Heaven asked suddenly. "I'm too tired to tell the story right tonight and it's a doozie. I love you too." She hung up and put her gla.s.s on the bedside stand. She put one hand on Hank's shoulder and the other on his lips.

There were a few things in life better than Veuve Cliquot.

Also by Lou Jane Temple.

The Cornbread Killer.

Bread on Arrival.

A Stiff Risotto.

Death by Rhubarb.

Revenge of the Barbecue Queens.