The Works of Robert G. Ingersoll Volume V Part 53

After all, drinking is not as bad as lying. An honest drunkard is better than a calumniator of the dead. "A remnant of old mortality, drunk, bloated and half asleep" is better than a perfectly sober defender of human slavery.

To become drunk is a virtue compared with steal- ing a babe from the breast of its mother.

Drunkenness is one of the beat.i.tudes, compared with editing a religious paper devoted to the defence of slavery upon the ground that it is a divine insti- tution.

Do you really think that Paine was a drunken beast when he wrote "Common Sense"--a pamphlet that aroused three millions of people, as people were never aroused by a pamphlet before? Was he a

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drunken beast when he wrote the "Crisis"? Was it to a drunken beast that the following letter was addressed:

Rocky Hill, September 10, 1783.

"I have learned since I have been at this place, that you are at Bordentown.--Whether for the sake of retirement or economy I know not. Be it for either or both, or whatever it may, if you will come to this place and partake with me I shall be exceed- ingly happy to see you at it. Your presence may remind Congress of your past services to this country; and if it is in my power to impress them, command my best exertions with freedom, as they will be rendered cheerfully by one who entertains a lively sense of the importance of your works, and who with much pleasure subscribes himself,

"Your Sincere Friend,

"George Was.h.i.+ngton."

Did any of your ancestors ever receive a letter like that?

Do you think that Paine was a drunken beast when the following letter was received by him?

"You express a wish in your letter to return to America in a national s.h.i.+p; Mr. Dawson, who brings over the treaty, and who will present you with this letter, is charged with orders to the captain of the

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Maryland to receive and accommodate you back, if you can be ready to depart at such a short warning. You will in general find us returned to sentiments worthy of former times; _in these it will be your glory to have steadily labored and with as much effect as any man living._ That you may live long to continue your useful labors, and reap the reward in the _thankfulness of nations_, is my sincere prayer. Accept the a.s.sur- ances of my high esteem and affectionate attachment."

Thomas Jefferson.

Did any of your ancestors ever receive a letter like that?

"It has been very generally propagated through the continent that I wrote the pamphlet 'Common Sense.' I could not have written anything in so manly and striking a style."--John Adams.

"A few more such flaming arguments as were exhibited at Falmouth and Norfolk, added to the sound doctrine and unanswerable reasoning con- tained in the pamphlet 'Common Sense,' will not leave numbers at a loss to decide on the propriety of a separation."--George Was.h.i.+ngton.

"It is not necessary for me to tell you how much all your countrymen--I speak of the great ma.s.s of the people--are interested in your welfare.

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They have not forgotten the history of their own Revolution and the difficult scenes through which they pa.s.sed; nor do they review its several stages without reviving in their bosoms a due sensibility of the merits of those who served them in that great and arduous conflict. The crime of ingrat.i.tude has not yet stained, and I trust never will stain, our national character. You are considered by them as not only having rendered important services in our own Revolution, but as being on a more extensive scale the friend of human rights, and a distinguished and able defender of public liberty. To the welfare of Thomas Paine the Americans are not, nor can they be indifferent.".. James Monroe.

Did any of your ancestors ever receive a letter like that?

"No writer has exceeded Paine in ease and famil- iarity of style, in perspicuity of expression, happiness of elucidation, and in simple and una.s.suming lan- guage."'--Thomas Jefferson.

Was ever a letter like that written about an editor of the _New York Observer?_

Was it in consideration of the services of a drunken beast that the Legislature of Pennsylvania presented Thomas Paine with five hundred pounds sterling?

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Did the State of New York feel indebted to a drunken beast, and confer upon Thomas Paine an estate of several hundred acres?

"I believe in the equality of man, and I believe that religious duties consist in doing justice, loving mercy, and endeavoring to make our fellow-creat- ures happy."

"My own mind is my own church."

"It is necessary to the happiness of man that he be mentally faithful to himself."

"Any system of religion that shocks the mind of a child cannot be a true system."

"The Word of G.o.d is the creation which we behold."

"The age of ignorance commenced with the Christian system."

"It is with a pious fraud as with a bad action--it begets a calamitous necessity of going on."

"To read the Bible without horror, we must undo everything that is tender, sympathizing and benev- olent in the heart of man."

"The man does not exist who can say I have per- secuted him, or that I have in any case returned evil for evil."

"Of all tyrannies that afflict mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst."

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"My own opinion is, that those whose lives have been spent in doing good and endeavoring to make their fellow-mortals happy, will be happy hereafter."

"The belief in a cruel G.o.d makes a cruel man."

"The intellectual part of religion is a private affair between every man and his Maker, and in which no third party has any right to interfere. The practical part consists in our doing good to each other."

"No man ought to make a living by religion. One person cannot act religion for another--every person must perform it for himself."

"One good schoolmaster is of more use than a hundred priests."

"Let us propagate morality unfettered by super- st.i.tion."

"G.o.d is the power, or first cause, Nature is the law, and matter is the subject acted upon."

"I believe in one G.o.d and no more, and I hope for happiness beyond this life."

"The key of heaven is not in the keeping of any sect nor ought the road to it to be obstructed by any."

"My religion, and the whole of it, is the fear and love of the Deity and universal philanthropy."

"I have yet, I believe, some years in store, for I have a good state of health and a happy mind. I

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