The Works of Robert G. Ingersoll - LightNovelsOnl.com
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increase in stature, but the intellectual part must have been infinite all the time.
_Question_. Do you think that Luke was mistaken?
_Answer_. No; I believe what Luke said. If it appears untrue, or impossible, then I know that it is figurative or symbolical.
_Question_. Did I understand you to say that Christ was actually G.o.d?
_Answer_. Of course he was.
_Question_. Then why did Luke say in the same verse of the same chapter that "Jesus increased in "favor with G.o.d"?
_Answer_. I dare you to go into a room by your- self and read the fourteenth chapter of Saint John!
_Question_. Is it necessary to understand the Bible in order to be saved?
_Answer_. Certainly not; it is only necessary that you believe it.
_Question_. Is it necessary to believe all the miracles?
_Answer_. It may not be necessary, but as it is im- possible to tell which ones can safely be left out, you had better believe them all.
_Question_. Then you regard belief as the safe way?
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_Answer_. Of course it is better to be fooled in this world than to be d.a.m.ned in the next.
_Question_. Do you think that there are any cruel- ties on G.o.d's part recorded in the Bible?
_Answer_. At first flush, many things done by G.o.d himself, as well as by his prophets, appear to be cruel; but if we examine them closely, we will find them to be exactly the opposite.
_Question_. How do you explain the story of Elisha and the children,--where the two she-bears destroyed forty-two children on account of their impudence?
_Answer_. This miracle, in my judgment, estab- lishes two things: 1. That children should be polite to ministers, and 2. That G.o.d is kind to animals-- "giving them their meat in due season." These bears have been great educators--they are the foundation of the respect entertained by the young for theologians. No child ever sees a minister now without thinking of a bear.
_Question_. What do you think of the story of Daniel--you no doubt remember it? Some men told the king that Daniel was praying contrary to law, and thereupon Daniel was cast into a den of lions; but the lions could not touch him, their mouths having been shut by angels. The next
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morning, the king, finding that Daniel was still intact, had him taken out; and then, for the purpose of gratifying Daniels G.o.d, the king had all the men who had made the complaint against Daniel, and their wives and their little children, brought and cast into the lions' den. According to the account, the lions were so hungry that they caught these wives and children as they dropped, and broke all their bones in pieces before they had even touched the ground. Is it not wonderful that G.o.d failed to pro- tect these innocent wives and children?
_Answer_. These wives and children were heathen; they were totally depraved. And besides, they were used as witnesses. The fact that they were devoured with such quickness shows that the lions were hungry. Had it not been for this, infidels would have accounted for the safety of Daniel by saying that the lions had been fed.
_Question_. Do you believe that Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were cast "into a burning fiery furnace "heated one seven times hotter than it was wont to "be heated," and that they had on "their coats, their "hosen and their hats," and that when they came out "not a hair of their heads was singed, nor was "the smell of fire upon their garments"?
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_Answer_. The evidence of this miracle is exceed- ingly satisfactory. It resulted in the conversion of Nebuchadnezzar.
_Question_. How do you know he was converted?
_Answer_. Because immediately after the miracle the king issued a decree that "every people, nation "and language that spoke anything amiss against "the G.o.d of Shadrach and Company, should be cut "in pieces." This decree shows that he had become a true disciple and wors.h.i.+per of Jehovah.
_Question_. If G.o.d in those days preserved from the fury of the fire men who were true to him and would not deny his name, why is it that he has failed to protect thousands of martyrs since that time?
_Answer_. This is one of the divine mysteries.
G.o.d has in many instances allowed his enemies to kill his friends. I suppose this was allowed for the good of his enemies, that the heroism of the mar- tyrs might convert them.
_Question_. Do you believe all the miracles?
_Answer_. I believe them all, because I believe the Bible to be inspired.
_Question_. What makes you think it is inspired?
_Answer_. I have never seen anybody who knew it was not; besides, my father and mother believed it.
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_Question_. Have you any other reasons for be- lieving it to be inspired?
_Answer_. Yes; there are more copies of the Bible printed than of any other book; and it is printed in more languages. And besides, it would be impossible to get along without it.
_Question_. Why could we not get along without it?
_Answer_. We would have nothing to swear wit- nesses by; no book in which to keep the family record; nothing for the centre-table, and nothing for a mother to give her son. No nation can be civilized without the Bible.
_Question_. Did G.o.d always know that a Bible was necessary to civilize a country?
_Answer_. Certainly he did.
_Question_. Why did he not give a Bible to the Egyptians, the Hindus, the Greeks and the Romans?
_Answer_. It is astonis.h.i.+ng what perfect fools in- fidels are.
_Question_. Why do you call infidels "fools"?
_Answer_. Because I find in the fifth chapter of the gospel according to Matthew the following: "Who- "soever shall say 'Thou fool!' shall be in danger of "h.e.l.l fire."
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_Question_. Have I the right to read the Bible?
_Answer_. Yes. You not only have the right, but it is your duty.
_Question_. In reading the Bible the words make certain impressions on my mind. These impressions depend upon my brain,--upon my intelligence. Is not this true?