It's Not Easy Being Mean Part 1

It's Not Easy Being Mean.

by Lisi Harrison.

THE B BLOCK E ESTATE M Ma.s.sIE'S B BEDROOM.

Sunday, April 4th 4:14 P.M. P.M.

Dylan Marvil pig-pressed her nose against the bay window in Ma.s.sie Block's bedroom and then craned her neck slightly left toward the gated entrance of the Block estate. "Um, Kuh-laire? You may wanna see this."

Dropping the armload of designer clothes she'd been color-coding for Ma.s.sie, Claire Lyons scurried to Dylan's side. "What is it?" She pushed up the sleeves on her orange velour hoodie.

"Todd and Tiny Nathan are selling your itchy pink-and-red polka-dot scarf to that fast talker Carrie Randolph."

Alicia Rivera tossed her Teen Vogue Teen Vogue on the hardwood floor, slid off Ma.s.sie's fluffy, lavender-scented bed, and wiggled between them. Her black velvet leggings were spotted with purple lint from Ma.s.sie's bedding. "Ew, that LBR rode her bike all the way over here? To buy on the hardwood floor, slid off Ma.s.sie's fluffy, lavender-scented bed, and wiggled between them. Her black velvet leggings were spotted with purple lint from Ma.s.sie's bedding. "Ew, that LBR rode her bike all the way over here? To buy that? that?"

"Todd!" Claire shouted at her brother while struggling to unhook the window's iron latch. "Party scarf wasn't on the list!"

Kristen Gregory balanced on her tiptoes, straining to see over their heads. Tiny yellow-and-green Puma shorts showed off her sharp soccer calves, which flexed as she bobbed to witness the unfolding scandal. "How much do you think he's made so far?"

"Too much." Claire pounded on the soundproof gla.s.s. "I can't believe people actually want to buy my stuff."

"Me, either," Ma.s.sie mumbled, refusing to get distracted by the LBRs who suddenly thought Claire's cheap machine washables were worth something because she'd starred in a predictable Hollywood movie with Abby Boyd and Conner Foley. She had more important things to think about.

Turning to her swiveling three-paneled full-length mirror, Ma.s.sie studied her reflection, wondering if she should have saved today's outfit for tomorrow. Her C&C California black-and-gray-striped V-necked sweater dress exuded confidence over a pair of mint green leggings and gray suede ankle boots. But still, the dress was boxy, and therefore would only know life on Sundays and snow days.

After letting out a long sigh, Ma.s.sie returned to her life-size mannequin, which ruled the corner of her room between the walk-in closet and her mirror. She fastened a thin gold braided belt around its waist, then stepped back, tilted her head to the left, and took it all in. Cinching the brown Ella Moss T-s.h.i.+rt dress instantly elevated it from a seven to a nine. But still, something was off. Was it the tan linen vest? Too safari? Or maybe it was the espresso-colored Marc Jacobs ballet flats. Yup. It was the flats. They were a little too precious for her first day back at Octavian Country Day School. After her celebrity-studded three-week expulsion, she needed something that said, "I'm back and better than ever." And right now all she had was, "Hey, guys, how's it goin'?" She took a long swig of Tab Energy, then tore the poo-colored clothes off the Ma.s.sie-quin.

Time to start over.

"Ehmagawd!" Dylan squealed. "It's the pasty goth barista from Starbucks!" She shook her arms free of the long military-style jacket that covered her dark-wash Earnest Sewn pencil-straight jeans, revealing a faded pink Porky Pig tee.

"Buying my Kipling backpack!" Claire wailed. "Monkey and all!"

"Thank Gawd." Alicia rolled up the sleeves on her pin-striped Norma Kamali s.h.i.+rtdress. "That thing was eye-poison."

Kristen's narrow blue eyes widened, "It looks like your books are still in it."

"They are are!"

"Ma.s.sie, you have to see this!" Alicia giggled and kicked Dylan's jacket aside.

"Pa.s.s." Ma.s.sie pulled the flats off her mannequin and replaced them with navy Michael Kors cork wedges. "I'm busy."

Besides, she already knew what Claire's stalkers looked like. They had been riding past the estate on bikes and scooters for the last two days to see where the star of the movie Dial L for Loser Dial L for Loser slept, ate, and peed. Ma.s.sie was constantly fighting the urge to poke her freshly razored layers out the window and yell, "Didn't any of you stalkers watch slept, ate, and peed. Ma.s.sie was constantly fighting the urge to poke her freshly razored layers out the window and yell, "Didn't any of you stalkers watch The Daily Grind The Daily Grind? Didn't you see Alicia and me broadcasting live from the set every day for two weeks straight? Don't you remember those pictures of me with Conner Foley in Us Weekly? Us Weekly? Why don't you want to buy Why don't you want to buy my my scarves? Why don't you want to take scarves? Why don't you want to take my my picture? picture? Whyyyyyy? Whyyyyyy?" But all she said was, "Get used to it, Miss I'm-moving-to-California-to-be-a-Hollywood-superstar."

"Why should I get used used to Todd and Tiny Nathan selling my things to strangers?" Claire pressed her entire left side against the bay window. to Todd and Tiny Nathan selling my things to strangers?" Claire pressed her entire left side against the bay window.

"A celebrity's life is public property. If you don't like it..." Ma.s.sie grabbed a thin white remote off her bedside table and pressed her manicured thumbnail into the top right b.u.t.ton. "Leave it."

The window clicked open and Claire fell forward.

"Whoa!" She steadied herself on the curved stone ledge.

Ma.s.sie examined the newly naked mannequin. "Now will you puh-lease focus!"

Finally, everyone turned away from Todd, Tiny Nathan, and the red Radio Flyer wagon filled with Claire's personal belongings. They stood, their backs to the window, while Ma.s.sie paced.

"In case you forgot, the Pretty Committee was just expelled from OCD for three three weeks because we ran off into the woods on a cla.s.s field trip and got lost." Ma.s.sie put her hands on her narrow hips. "Instead of sitting on our couches watching weeks because we ran off into the woods on a cla.s.s field trip and got lost." Ma.s.sie put her hands on her narrow hips. "Instead of sitting on our couches watching High School Musical, High School Musical, we went to Hollywood and made something of ourselves and-" we went to Hollywood and made something of ourselves and-"

"Speak for yourself." Kristen exchanged an eye-roll with Dylan.

"Yeah, some of us weren't allowed allowed to go to California, remember?" Dylan stuffed a cube of watermelon-flavored bubble gum in her mouth, then immediately unwrapped another piece and jammed it in. to go to California, remember?" Dylan stuffed a cube of watermelon-flavored bubble gum in her mouth, then immediately unwrapped another piece and jammed it in.

"Some of us stayed here, wrote a b.u.t.t-kissing essay, and signed your your name to it so you could get back into school, re- name to it so you could get back into school, re-mem-ber?" Kristen glared at Ma.s.sie.

"Of course I re-mem-ber. I was getting to that part," she lied. "But seeing as you already mentioned how great you think you are, I'll skip over it."

Kristen and Dylan muttered apologies.

Ma.s.sie took a cleansing breath, exhaled in frustration, and continued. "The point is, in less than twenty-four hours we'll be walking the halls at OCD while hundreds of jealous eyeb.a.l.l.s scan us, searching for flaws."

"Why would they do that?" Claire scratched her blond eyebrows. "You always say everyone loves loves the Pretty Committee." the Pretty Committee."

"No. I always say they want to be be us." Ma.s.sie swatted her flirty new chocolate-colored side part away from her amber eyes. "Which means they're secretly studying us, hoping to spot a weakness so they can-" us." Ma.s.sie swatted her flirty new chocolate-colored side part away from her amber eyes. "Which means they're secretly studying us, hoping to spot a weakness so they can-"

"A weakness?"

"Yeah, like an out-of-place hair." Alicia pointed to her perfect side part.

"Or bad grades," Kristen offered.

"Or an open fly." Dylan covered her crotch.

"Or smudged eyeliner, or last year's boots, or peanut-b.u.t.ter breath." Ma.s.sie circled her hand to show that the list went on and on. "Anything they can use to put us us down." down."

"Why would they want to-?"

"It makes them feel better about their sorry selves. That's why."

"Point!" Alicia lifted her finger.

Ma.s.sie took another swig of Tab Energy and slammed it down on her mirrored pedestal night table. She fell onto her bed beside her ah-dorable sleeping black pug, Bean, allowing herself to get swallowed by the cl.u.s.ter of white faux-fur pillows as if surrendering to an avalanche. "If we don't look ah-mazing times ten, everyone will think the Pretty Committee's lost its magic and we'll be blog food." She lifted her arm out of the fluff and checked her silver DKNY bangle watch. "It's already 4:27 p.m., and not a single outfit has been approved."

"Point!" Alicia plopped down beside her.

Bean lifted her head and growled.

"You're right," Dylan pouted. "Sorry." She joined them on the bed.

Claire turned and closed the window.

"What about the soccer lesson?" Kristen grabbed the white wooden bedpost and stretched a hamstring.

"Ew! Why would we want to spend our last hours of freedom doing that? that?" Alicia shuddered, as if Kristen had suggested using their blush brushes to scrub toilets in the boys' locker room.

"Um, starting tomorrow, you're members of OCD Sirens. Remember?"

They all looked at her blankly.

"Gawd, don't any of you want to learn how to play before you join the team?"

"Opposite of yes." Alicia reached to the floor, picked up her Teen Vogue Teen Vogue, and crawled under the feathery purple duvet cover.

"Leesh, I swear, if we don't make it to the finals because you-"

"Hey!" Ma.s.sie stood and held up her palm like a crossing guard. "Kristen, are you mad at Alicia?"

"No, I'm just-"

"Then why does it sound like you want to socc-er?"

Everyone cracked up except Kristen, who folded her arms across her green Juicy hoodie and looked up at Ma.s.sie's new multicolored crystal chandelier as if begging it to give her strength. "It was your your decision to join the team." decision to join the team."

"We had no choice." Dylan punched the mattress. "It was the only way Princ.i.p.al Burns would let us back into school."

"You had to pick an extracurricular activity," Kristen reminded them. "No one said it had to be soccer."

"We thought it'd be a good way to bond with the boys." Ma.s.sie twirled the diamond stud in her left earlobe.

"And burn calories." Dylan rubbed her flat stomach like someone who'd eaten too much chocolate-chip cookie dough.

"And tone." Alicia curled into the fetal position.

"Claire, you you like soccer, right?" like soccer, right?"

"Yeah, but I have to meet my agent in Manhattan, so I'm gonna miss practice."

Clenching her fists, Ma.s.sie fought another urge to tear Claire's white-blond hair out of her ah-nnoying, conceited, movie-star head. "Are you seriously going to pa.s.s up a summer cohosting pool parties and gossiping about boys to work? work?"

"Um, yeah," Claire said, in a who-wouldn't sort of way.

"Point!" Alicia lifted her finger out from the duvet.

Dylan and Kristen giggled while Ma.s.sie contemplated her sudden need to make Claire cry. She wanted to hurt her feelings and crush her confidence and treat her like an unworthy, unimportant, undesirable loser. Maybe then Claire would understand how Ma.s.sie felt, being dumped for a stupid movie.

All of a sudden, a shock of angry boy music filled the room. Ma.s.sie raced to her silver cube of an alarm clock and slammed the off b.u.t.ton. But the electrified screaming wouldn't stop. It sounded like someone had placed a gigantic set of Bose headphones around her alabaster-white walls and cranked up the volume on some bas.e.m.e.nt dweller's amplified nervous breakdown.

"It's coming from outside." Dylan a.s.sumed her old position by the bay window. "More fans."

Bean jumped off the bed and barked her way to Dylan's side.

Everyone followed.

"I wonder what they're gonna buy?" Kristen pinched her bottom lip.

"Hopefully Todd." Ma.s.sie lifted Bean and stroked her ears.

"Ehmagawd!" Alicia covered her highly glossed mouth like a shocked American Idol American Idol winner. "It's not a fan. It's Skye Hamilton." winner. "It's not a fan. It's Skye Hamilton."

"Listening to AFI?" Kristen crinkled her perfect, J-shaped nose.

"Imposs!" Ma.s.sie marched across her ivory sheepskin area rugs and pushed the girls aside.

"Who is that?" Claire asked, catching her balance on the wall.

"Eighth-grade alpha," Ma.s.sie explained, her eyes fixed on Skye.

"Check out that yellow Porsche convertible," Kristen ogled.

"Check out the driver." Alicia rolled her shoulders back like she was offering her C-cups to the universe. "I fully heart guys who wear dark jeans with gray tees. And I double fully heart black wavy hair."

"That's the cutest guy I've never never seen." Dylan sighed. seen." Dylan sighed.

"I've seen him." Kristen fanned her cheeks. "On an Abercrombie bag." seen him." Kristen fanned her cheeks. "On an Abercrombie bag."

"How does her hair look so good?" Dylan twirled a s.h.i.+ny red ringlet around her finger, then burped. "I'd look all Chuckie from Rugrats Rugrats after a ride in that thing." after a ride in that thing."

"Can you see what she's wearing? Is it dance-y?" Alicia rested her forehead against the windowpane. "Her parents own Body Alive Dance Studio. Not only is she ah-mazing at ballet, modern, jazz, and tap, but she gets whatever she wants from the B.A.D.S. apparel store." A steam puff of envy marred the gla.s.s as she sighed. "Can anyone see her legs? I bet she's wearing a leotard, or maybe a unitard."

"Um, you're the only 'tard I see," Ma.s.sie snapped, refusing to publicize her Skye obsession.

"Why haven't I noticed her before?" Claire asked, poking her head between Ma.s.sie and Alicia.

"She's always with the boys." Ma.s.sie tried her best to sound unimpressed. "That's why her group is called the DSL Daters."

"Why?"

"Because they make super-fast connections," she replied flatly, like it should have been obvious.

"Do you think she's here to buy something of mine?" Claire asked, sounding one part shocked and two parts psyched.

"Come awn!" Ma.s.sie rolled her eyes. "That'd be like Paris Hilton asking Hermione Granger to borrow something for the VMAs."