In Every Heartbeat Part 1

IN EVERY HEARTBEAT.

KimVogel Sawyer

CHAPTER ONE.

Chambers, Missouri September 1914

Don't you dare cry.

Libby Conley snapped the wardrobe door shut on her scanty belongings and spun to face her mentor and friend. "Well, I guess this is it." Her throat tightened, making her words come out an octave higher than normal. How she would miss Maelle!

She forced her lips into a quavering smile. "Thanks so much for bringing the boys and me to college. It was wonderful to have your company on the train. But . . ." She flipped her hands outward and angled her chin high. "I guess you're rid of me now."

Maelle Harders stepped away from her husband and wrapped Libby in a tight hug. Libby closed her eyes and accepted the hug without contributing to it. If she took hold of Maelle, she might never let go.

"Rid of you? Oh, bosh." Maelle's husky voice carried a hint of humor. "I think we'll be seeing you again." She released her hold and gave Libby's chin a light pinch, an affectionate gesture left over from Libby's childhood. "After all, you, Pete, and Bennett will be coming back to Shay's Ford for Mattie's wedding in less than six weeks. Mattie will need all of his groomsmen in attendance."

Libby nodded. Knowing she would soon return to the orphans' school that had been her home for the past eight years had helped Libby say good-bye to the school's directors, Aaron and Isabelle Rowley, yesterday. Libby could bear temporary good-byes, but she never said the word when she thought the separation might be permanent. She didn't plan to say it to Maelle, her favorite person in the whole world, even if she knew it would be a short separation. She hated hated the word the word good-bye good-bye.

"I'll be there for sure. I'm excited about the dance after your brother's wedding." Libby caught hold of her brand-new skirt and quickstepped a jig, making the brown worsted swirl above the tops of her patent leather boots. She planned to dance with Bennett, and with Petey, too, even if he was a little clumsy on his peg leg.

"It'll be a grand time." Maelle's tawny brown eyes crinkled with her smile. She slipped her hand through Jackson's elbow and beamed up at him. "As much fun as our after-wedding party was."

Libby admired the toes of her new shoes as the gaze pa.s.sing between Maelle and Jackson heated. Although they were far from newlyweds-having married immediately upon Jackson's return from serving in the Missouri legislature five years ago-the pair had eyes only for each other. Libby admitted to some jealousy when Jackson had returned to Shay's Ford. Until he'd shown up, she'd had Maelle's attention to herself. Closing her eyes, she allowed a familiar daydream to surface.

"So you're really going to be my ma?" The happiness exploding through Libby's middle erupted in a joyous giggle.

Maelle smoothed Libby's tangled hair from her face. "Why, of course. I've always wanted a daughter, and I can't imagine a better one than you, Libby."

Libby threw herself into Maelle's arms. "Oh, I'm so happy you're adopting me! Thank you!"

"No, let me thank you, dear one." Maelle's cheek rested on the top of Libby's head, the contact warm and comforting. "You've made me the happiest mother on earth. . . ."

The sound of a clearing throat chased the fanciful musing away. Libby looked up to find both Maelle and Jackson grinning at her. Jackson said, "My apologies, Libby." He tucked his arm around Maelle's waist. "Sometimes I get lost in my beautiful wife's beguiling eyes and forget anyone else exists."

Maelle shook her head, her tumbling auburn locks swaying with the motion. "Goodness, the things you say . . ." But the tender look she gave Jackson contradicted her gentle reproach.

Libby clamped her lips tight as her anger swelled. Why hadn't Maelle and Jackson adopted her? When Libby was ten, she'd asked Maelle to be her mother, and Maelle had lovingly explained she wanted Libby to have the privilege of both a mother and a father. But then Jackson had returned and he and Maelle had married, and even then they hadn't adopted Libby. Now it was too late. No one had wanted Libby at the age of ten; why would anyone-even Maelle, who professed to love her dearly-adopt an eighteen-year-old? She'd never have the joy of calling Maelle Ma Ma, the way her heart longed to.

Maelle s.h.i.+fted to face Libby. "Should we go find the boys? I imagine Bennett is hungry by now."

Jackson held his hand toward the door, and Libby scurried past him. As she careened out the door, she nearly collided with two girls in the hallway. Isabelle Rowley's lessons on etiquette rose in her memory, and she automatically excused herself.

The pair looked Libby up and down before they exchanged a quick haughty look. The taller of the two said, "You need to slow down."

"Or at the very least, look before you leave your room," the second one added.

Libby folded her arms over her chest. "I said, 'Excuse me.' And it isn't as if I tried tried to run you down. It was just bad timing." to run you down. It was just bad timing."

The taller one opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, Maelle and Jackson stepped into the hallway. The girl snapped her mouth closed, took her companion by the elbow, and hustled toward the stairs.

Girls! She'd never gotten along well with other girls. They were too snooty or too prissy or too giggly. The condescending, scolding tones used by the girls in the hallway had sounded too much like the orphanage's founder. How often had Mrs. Rowley berated Libby for escaping into a daydream or for unladylike tree-climbing or frog-catching? Libby had grown to love Mrs. Rowley, but she'd never felt completely accepted by her. Girls were no fun no fun. Except Maelle.

Libby clasped her hands beneath her chin and gave Maelle her best pleading look. "Can't I go back to Shay's Ford with you and Jackson?"

Maelle's brow crunched in confusion. "Why would you want to do that? You were so excited about attending the university."

That was before I met Snoot One and Snoot Two. Libby caught Maelle's arm. "If I'm too old to stay at the orphans' school, I could get a job at the newspaper, or even work for you as your a.s.sistant." She knew how to operate Maelle's camera. She'd spent so much time in Maelle's photography studio, it had become as much a home to her as her room in the orphanage dormitory. Libby caught Maelle's arm. "If I'm too old to stay at the orphans' school, I could get a job at the newspaper, or even work for you as your a.s.sistant." She knew how to operate Maelle's camera. She'd spent so much time in Maelle's photography studio, it had become as much a home to her as her room in the orphanage dormitory.

"Libby, you know you wouldn't be happy working in my studio." Maelle spoke in a kind yet no-nonsense tone. "You've always wanted to be a writer. G.o.d must have opened this door for you, because you're at the perfect place to learn the trade of journalism. Not every college in Missouri allows female students in their journalism programs, but here at the University of Southern Missouri, women can learn right next to men."

Libby already knew she'd been given an amazing opportunity, even though she credited Mrs. Rowley's letter-writing skills rather than G.o.d for securing the scholars.h.i.+p. How she'd looked forward to sitting under the tutelage of the fine professors, learning the best ways to put words together to impact readers' emotions! But Maelle had learned photography by practice; surely Libby could learn newspaper writing through practice. "I know, but-"

"When G.o.d opens a door, you need to walk through it. Otherwise you'll miss the blessing He has planned for you." Maelle gently disengaged Libby's hands from her arm. "Besides, my sister worked so hard to get these scholars.h.i.+ps for you, Pete, and Bennett. Think how disappointed Isabelle would be if you just threw it away."

Libby bit down on her lower lip. Mrs. Rowley had been almost giddy with excitement when a donor agreed to sponsor the orphan home's first graduates-their consolation prize for never having been adopted. She'd lectured the three of them endlessly on making the most of this tremendous opportunity. No, Isabelle Rowley would not be happy to see Libby return to Shay's Ford.

She sighed. "I suppose you're right."

Jackson stepped forward. "It's understandable for you to be apprehensive, Elisabet. This is a big change for you-leaving your home and meeting new people. When I left Shay's Ford to attend law school, I suffered homesickness and wondered if I'd made the right choice. It took some time, but I settled in."

Libby listened, rapt, to Jackson's encouragement. Might a father speak to her in just this way?

He smiled, reaching out to give her upper arm a light squeeze. "So you wait and see. I wager in a month's time, you'll love being here so much you won't want to leave even for a weekend visit."

Libby's mouth went dry. Not want to return, even for a visit? Might college make such a change in her? She swallowed. "Y-you really think so?"

Maelle gave a gentle tug on one of Libby's loose curls. "You should never squander the chance for an education. Not everyone has that chance."

Libby knew Maelle regretted her lack of schooling. She'd spent her childhood traveling from state to state in a photographer's wagon, learning the trade. Even though she'd built a good life for herself, she had always encouraged Libby to study hard and take advantage of the education offered through the orphans' school. Even more than pleasing Mrs. Rowley, Libby wanted to avoid disappointing Maelle.

"All right. I'll give it a chance."

"Good." Maelle smiled, warming Libby with her approval. "And you'll find out there's no reason to be afraid."

Libby lifted her chin. "I'm not afraid afraid."

Maelle's smile never dimmed. "I know, Libby." She slung her arm around Libby's shoulders. "C'mon, let's go find the boys so we can say our good-byes. Jackson and I will miss our train if we don't skedaddle."

As Libby, Maelle, and Jackson walked across the thick, gra.s.sy carpet toward the ornate rock building that housed the dining hall, Libby breathed a sigh of relief that at least she wouldn't be alone here in Chambers. Her longtime pals Petey Leidig and Bennett Martin were right here on the University of Southern Missouri campus, too. Those familiar faces from the Reginald Standler Home for Orphaned and Dest.i.tute Children would help her battle the feelings of homesickness that tied her stomach into knots. Even so, they were boys and their fields of study were different, which meant they all lived in different dormitories. It wouldn't be the same as it had been at the orphans' home, where they resided on different floors under one roof.

They neared the dining hall, and Jackson pointed. "Is that Pete on the porch?"

Petey must have spotted them at the same time, because he lifted his hand in a wave and began stumping toward them. The breeze lifted the fresh-cut strands of his thick blond hair. The recent haircut and brand new pin-striped suit made him appear as dignified as Jackson the lawyer. Libby's heart swelled with pride for her friend. His peg leg-the result of a childhood accident-gave him a permanent limp, but the limp didn't bother Libby. He didn't feel sorry for himself, so she'd never felt the need to feel sorry for him. He was just Petey, her best friend and confidant.

When they met in a patch of suns.h.i.+ne in the middle of the yard, Libby asked, "Where's Bennett?"

"He went on in." Petey quirked one eyebrow. "You know how he is when it comes to food . . . he said he couldn't wait."

Jackson laughed, the corners of his dark eyes crinkling in amus.e.m.e.nt. "It's all right. You can tell him good-bye for us." He snaked out his hand and caught Petey around the neck. The two men hugged and thumped each other on the back. "You take care of yourself, Pete." Jackson pulled loose and sent a teasing smirk in Libby's direction. "Keep an eye on our girl, too."

Libby's heart swelled at his reference to "our girl." Oh, if only she were their their girl! girl!

"Make sure she stays out of mischief," Jackson added.

Petey chuckled. "As if I could! n.o.body can tame Libby."

Libby snorted and glowered at the pair. "Honestly! As if anyone needs to tame tame me." She shook her head and turned to Maelle. A huge lump filled her throat. She didn't want Maelle to go. Her lips quivered, but she managed to form a small smile. "You have a safe trip h-home." me." She shook her head and turned to Maelle. A huge lump filled her throat. She didn't want Maelle to go. Her lips quivered, but she managed to form a small smile. "You have a safe trip h-home."

Tears sparkled in Maelle's eyes, but she blinked them away. "And you study hard. Make us all proud."

"I will. I promise."

Maelle hugged Libby fiercely, and this time Libby hugged back.

Maelle's shoulders shuddered-was she crying? Maelle didn't cry; she was tough, just like Libby. Then Libby heard a sniffle near her ear. Maelle was was crying. Tears burned like fire behind Libby's nose, and she crunched her eyes tight to hold them at bay. She wouldn't cry. crying. Tears burned like fire behind Libby's nose, and she crunched her eyes tight to hold them at bay. She wouldn't cry. She wouldn't! She wouldn't!

"Maelle, we need to go," Jackson's voice intruded.

Maelle gave Libby one more tight squeeze and then stepped back. Libby hugged herself, blinking rapidly. Maelle opened her mouth, but before she could say good-bye, Libby blurted, "I'll see you in six weeks for the wedding." She grabbed Petey's elbow.

"Let's go eat. I'm hungry."

CHAPTER TWO.

Pete pressed his elbow against his ribcage, resisting Libby's tug on his arm. "Hold on. I want to give Jackson and Maelle a decent farewell."

Libby let out a little huff of displeasure, but Pete ignored it. He was used to Libby's huffs. It was the only girlish thing she did, and it was harmless. He stood watching until Jackson and Maelle reached the tall rock walls that lined the campus's entrance. As he had suspected they might, they paused and turned back. Both waved.

Petey waved with his hand held high. A vivid memory filled his mind: standing outside his family's tenement building, staring at the window, waiting for someone to look out and wave goodbye. He'd stood for hours, but no wave ever came.

He nodded toward Libby. "See there? How would they have felt to look back and find no one watching?"

"Sad." Libby's tone reflected the one-word answer and seemed to pluck the emotion from his heart. She gave a feeble wave and pulled again at his arm. "All right, you've given them a proper send-off. Now let's go eat."

Pete laughed as he turned toward the dining hall. He had to hop-skip on his wooden peg leg to match her swift pace. "I've never seen you so eager for a meal. You must have built up an appet.i.te putting your things away. But slow down. You're going to send me tumbling."

She stopped so abruptly he almost fell forward. He looked down at her, ready to complain, but the tears winking in her velvet brown eyes stopped him. He'd never seen Libby cry-not when she'd fallen out of a tree and cut her chin, not when Bennett had accidentally smacked her with a homemade baseball, not even when she'd earned a licking for climbing the rose trellis on the side of the school dormitory.

Concerned, he cupped his hand over hers. "Libby, what's wrong?"

Instead of answering, she spun away from him and faced the campus. "I changed my mind. I . . . I don't think I could eat a bite. I'm going to take a walk instead." She started off in a determined gait, her arms pumping.

"Wait!" Pete trotted after her, hopping twice on his good leg for every one time on his peg leg. Even after years of using the wooden replacement for flesh and bone, it still jolted his hip when he moved too fast. He grimaced, but he caught up to her. Taking hold of her arm, he brought her to a halt. "What's the matter? Tell me." Over the years, he'd been privy to her secrets, her worries, her frustrations. He waited expectantly for a reply. But to his surprise, she turned stubborn.

"Nothing's wrong. I just want to take a walk. Go eat." She gave him a little push. "Bennett's probably holding a spot for you. So go on."

Even though his stomach murmured in desire, Pete shook his head. "Nah. You know when Bennett's got food in front of him, nothing else matters. He won't even miss me. I'll walk with you instead."

She pursed her lips, and for a moment Pete thought she'd send him away. But then she released another little huff. "Very well. Let's go. That way." Arms folded over her ribs and head low, Libby moved in the opposite direction of the path Jackson and Maelle had taken earlier. Occasionally, she kicked at a stone. Her movements seemed jerky, almost uncontrolled, so different from her usual grace. Although Pete wondered what had her in such a dither, he didn't ask. He'd learned sometimes it was best to let Libby stew. Eventually, she'd let the steam out and he'd know what was wrong.

They walked down a tree-lined path that ended in a field of uncut gra.s.s dotted with patches of wild flowers. She stopped and looked right and left, as if deciding which way to go. He waited patiently for her to make up her mind, refusing to fidget even though standing still intensified the ache in his hip. Whichever direction she chose, he'd follow.

Her brow puckered, and she tipped her head, frowning. "What is that?" She moved forward, her feet crus.h.i.+ng the foot-high gra.s.s. Pete followed, his gaze on the s.h.i.+ning locks of black hair that flowed almost to her waist. She stopped so suddenly he almost collided with her.

She clasped her hands beneath her chin and released a delighted laugh. "We found it!"

He glanced around, noting nothing of significance. "What did we find?"

"The foundation." Libby skipped forward and then crouched, skimming her hand over a rough rock wall only inches high. The free-growing gra.s.s and abundance of wild flowers had masked it from view. Pete propped his hands on his thighs and examined the gray weather-worn stones that formed a large rectangle.

"Remember what Mrs. Rowley said?" Libby's voice held excitement. "The original academic building burned to the ground in the late 1870s, and they chose to build a new one closer to the road rather than rebuild on the old foundation." Her gaze followed the line of the stones, her full lips forming a soft smile of wonder. "But it's still here, hunkering down low like a secret fortress for chipmunks or squirrels." Her voice took on a whimsical quality, and Petey knew she was drifting into one of her make-believe worlds.

With a little giggle, she stepped onto the foundation and extended her arms. Pete automatically caught one of her hands, and her dimples flashed with her smile. Holding the tips of his fingers, she put one foot in front of the other and walked the length of the little wall, her chin high and expression serious. Watching her, Pete couldn't help smiling. Libby had a way of making ordinary moments seem special.

She reached the corner and leapt off, landing in an exaggerated curtsy. She laughed, then spun to face the foundation again. Sobering, she tapped her chin with one finger. "It's kind of sad, isn't it, to think of such a grand building all burnt up and gone, only these few stones remaining? I wish I could have seen it when it was still here." Her gaze lifted slowly upward, and Petey knew she was trying to picture the building in her mind. He remained silent, allowing her the moments of silent introspection. When she'd had her fill of whimsy, she'd move on, and he'd tag along. Like always.

After several long seconds, she released a deep sigh and turned to face the opposite direction. Her eyes flew wide, and she let out a gasp. "Petey!" She ran to the opening between the trees.

"What?" He limped up beside her and peered into her astonished face.

"Oh . . . look." She pointed down the lane they'd taken. Her eyes seemed to dart everywhere. "The trees, the way they form a canopy over the walkway. See how the sun sneaks between the leaves and dapples the path? Why, it's simply laden with splashes of suns.h.i.+ne and shadow. How enchanting!" She laughed, clapping her hands once. "Doesn't it look like a fairy road?"

Pete tapped his peg leg against the ground, his means of battling the feeling of numbness in his missing limb. "A fairy road?"

She bopped his shoulder, just the way she had when they were younger and he irritated her. But she grinned at him. "Don't make fun."

He held up both hands. "I'm not making fun. You're right. It's . . . enchanting." But he kept his eyes glued to her face. Fingers of sunlight crept through the tree branches overhead, bringing a sheen to her dark hair and making her eyes s.h.i.+mmer. At least the tears had disappeared from her eyes.

He frowned. "Libby? You were ready to cry earlier. Why?"

The delight immediately faded from her expression. "I don't cry."