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"I said so."
"I can trust you?"
"It's your only choice." I shrugged. "If you believe I am going to lie, I can do it as well now as tomorrow. Think about it. Goodnight."
But even after a welcome soak and a bowl of chicken and egg soup, and a bed that welcomed like coming home, I could not sleep. I nodded off for an hour or so, then woke to toss and turn. I was too hot, too cold, itchy, uncomfortable. The longer I tried to sleep, the worse it became. I dozed again, with dream-starts that melted one into another. One moment the once-fat Summer fled an imagined horror, the next a huge moon was s.h.i.+ning too bright on my face; now great bats chased across the sky, their wings obscuring the same moon. I woke fretful and pushed a too-heavy Growch away. I rolled down a steep mountain to escape the pursuing flames, a sudden wind rattled the shutters and I opened my eyes to see the oil lamp guttering. It must have been about three in the morning.
Growch stretched and yawned. "You goin' ter tell 'im where we went?"
"What choice have I? And what does it matter anyway?"
And I burst into useless tears.
Chapter Twenty.Six.
About two hours later I had had enough. Although it was still full dark I disturbed Growch again as I flung aside the blankets, donned my father's cloak and stepped outside onto the narrow balcony that served both my room and d.i.c.kon's.
Although it was October, the night was still comparatively warm and the stone of the bal.u.s.trade under my fingers was no colder than the air. Below was a set of steps leading down to a small, ornamental garden, no bigger than ten feet by ten, facing south. I had sat there during the day a couple of times, on one of the two stone benches, amid pots of exotic plants, ivies, and those tiny stunted trees so beloved by the people of this land. Pines, firs, even cherry trees were bound and twisted into grotesque shapes no higher than my hand, yet it is said that they were as much as one hundred years old!
I wondered vaguely if it hurt them to be twisted so unnaturally, and whether it would be a kindness to dig them all up secretly and replant them in the freedom of unrestricted soil many miles away. Or were they so used to their pot-bound existence that they would perish without special nurturing?
The stars had nearly all gone to bed, those left pale with tiredness, but the waxing moon still held a sullen glow as it balanced on the tips of the faraway mountains. It was the color of watered blood, the warts and scars of its face showing up like plague spots. A faint breeze touched my cheek; false dawn would come with the going down of the moon. As I watched I could almost imagine it starting to slide down out of sight. My breathing slowed: I was in tune with the speed of the heavens.
Then, just as the jaws of the mountains gaped to swallow the moon, there came a lightening of the sky in the east. False dawn had turned everything dark gray, and somewhere a sleepy bird woke for an instant, tried a trill and fell silent once more.
And suddenly, like a stifling blanket being pulled off my head, came a lifting of both mind and spirit. I felt so different I could have cried out with the relief. But what had brought all this about? I gazed around at the fading stars, the sinking moon, a lightening in the sky to the east-no, it was none of these.
Then I looked back at the nearly gone moon and realized there was something different about the marks on its face. It was there, then it disappeared. I rubbed my eyes, but when I looked again the moon had slid away and so had the strange mark I thought-I imagined?-I had seen.
I wouldn't, couldn't allow hope to rise once more, only to be dashed. And yet .
I went back to bed and slept until midday.
And so, in the afternoon when d.i.c.kon again tried to question me about yesterday's activities I told him what we had done almost indifferently, as though it didn't really matter anymore. And at that moment it didn't.
"So you see we just went to look at the place the legends say the dragons live in, but after all that there was nothing there; nothing except an extinct volcano and heaps of rocks and stones, that is."
"Why didn't you let me come?"
"Ky-Lin carried us: he couldn't have managed you as well."
"I should like to have seen it. There might have been something you missed."
"Go see for yourself, then," I said recklessly, and described how he could climb up to the cavern. "But I tell you, it's a waste of time!"
"Then if there was nothing, and you didn't find this friend you told me about, why don't you just pack up now and go back to your tame merchant boyfriend?"
"Here's as good a place as any to overwinter."
"What about money?"
I shrugged. "I offered you some once. I still have it. I might even do a little trading myself. And you: what are you going to do with yourself now your journey is over?"
He looked aghast. "But-I understood we were together in this! I haven't come all this way just to be cast aside like an odd glove. I've got no capital! If you decide to trade, we trade together. What do you really know about buying and selling? Why, you can't even communicate with these people without that colored freak at your heels. . . ." He had always been jealous of Ky-Lin. "At least I have been learning the language in my spare time. You wouldn't last five minutes without me and you know it!"
"Well I shall have to try, shan't I? Don't worry, I shall manage. I shall stay around here for a while, and I shall stay alone. Apart from Growch, of course."
I felt mean, but somehow knew I had to shed him. I knew I had to be on my own, that whatever pa.s.s I had come to in my life, whatever awaited me, I had to meet it alone, free of the threat that someone like d.i.c.kon posed. No, not "someone like": it was the person himself I had to be free of. He had always made me feel uneasy, that was why I had tried so hard so many times to go ahead without him. And had failed. He was not evil, most people would just see him as a nuisance, and wonder why I had tried so hard to be rid of him. I couldn't explain it, even now: it was just something that was part of him that one day would do me great hurt, of that I was sure. It was nothing of which he was aware either, just as a straight man will not glance back to see he has a crooked shadow. . . .
I made one last try.
"My offer of the money still stands." I'd manage somehow.
"You can keep your ten pieces of gold-or were they thirty pieces of silver?"
And he slammed out; as a parting shot it wasn't bad at all.
For the next hour I made a full inventory of my possessions. It was time I moved from the monastery, now I was fully recovered. I would try to rent a couple of rooms in the village below, rather than presume too much on the hospitality of the monks.
There wasn't much to take with me. A few well-worn clothes, sewing kit, leather for patching, monthly cloths, comb; my journal, writing materials and maps; a cooking pot, spoons, mug, and sharp knife; a bag or two of herbs.
With a blanket to wrap it all in and my father's cloak, that was about it.
Except, of course, for my money belt, in which I still had a little coinage from our performing days, Suleiman's gold, and the a.s.sorted coins from my father's dowry to me.
Lastly there were my special treasures: the Waystone, the beautiful crystal gem and, last but first as well, the dragon's egg. I took it out now and looked at it: even since the last time I had done this it seemed to have grown. I cradled it in my hands, marvelling at its perfect symmetry and the way the light caught the speckles that glinted like granite on its surface. I remembered what both my long-ago Wimperling and Ky-Lin had said about the hundred years or so of incubation it needed before hatching, and was sad I should never see what it contained; I should have to find a suitable place to leave it soon, for it needed quiet and rest, to develop as it should.
There were three or four hours to go until dark, so Growch and I hitched a ride taking woollen cloth from the monastery down to the village, but we hadn't gone far down the narrow, twisty track when Growch announced that we were being followed.
"Who is it?" I asked, peering back up the track. I could see nothing.
" 'Is lords.h.i.+p. 'Oo else?"
"h.e.l.l and d.a.m.nation! Why can't he leave us alone?"
"Wanna lose 'im?"
"Of course."
"Then when we gets to the first 'ouses, jump off quick an' follow me, sharpish."
Once on foot, I realized just how well Growch had used his time when he was off "exploring," as he put it. No doubt he had been in search of his "fluffy b.u.ms," but he had learnt the village like a cartographer.
He led me a swift left turn down a side alley, turned right into a courtyard and straight out again through someone's (luckily unoccupied) kitchen, across another street, into a laundry and out again, ducking under wet clothes; two sharp lefts, three rights and then helter-skelter up some steps, down others and into a stuffy little room, greasy with the smell of frying pork and chicken.
Growch trotted up to the cook, who had obviously met him before, because he aimed a halfhearted blow with his skillet, then fished out a pig's foot.
"C'mon," said Growch through the gristle. "Out the back."
This led out onto a street where the unoccupied ladies of the town held their nightly "entertainments." Everything was now closed, shuttered and barred, and backed out onto some unattractive garbage heaps, but I could hear awakening chatter behind the closed doors. Growch went over to inspect the rubbish, but I called him sharply back.
"That's enough! You'll be sick. . . ."
" 'Ow often you seen me sick?" It was a rhetorical question, and he knew it.
"Where now?" I asked, changing the subject.
" 'E's a'ead o' us now. Let's see what 'e's up to. I'll scout, you follow close."
So we crept along the irregular streets, stepping in and out of afternoon- going-on-evening shadows, pa.s.sing the elderly taking patches of sun, children playing primitive games with colored squares of baked clay, or chasing each other in the eternal game of tag. I ducked under lines of was.h.i.+ng, stepped around rubbish, avoided the throwing out of slops. There seemed no system or plan to the village; it had just grown. Every now and then we pa.s.sed through little squares, apparently there just because the houses had been built facing one another. Several lanes led nowhere.
Suddenly I heard d.i.c.kon's voice. He seemed to be involved in some sort of altercation and, rounding a corner, there he was, arguing with a couple of villagers over a tatty-looking horse. From the look of it he wanted to "borrow"
the horse against future payment, but they were having none of it.
I ducked back into the shadows, but he had seen me. All that rus.h.i.+ng around with Growch for nothing, but perhaps after all it had only been an excuse on the dog's part to pick up a snack or two. He wouldn't admit it if it was.
"Hey, Summer! Come here a minute. . . ." d.i.c.kon led me aside. "Look here.
I've been thinking about what you said earlier: the parting of the ways and all that stuff. Well, I've decided to do something about it." He stood back and folded his arms. "I think it would be best if I took off for a few days, before the winter sets in. I could travel between the villages, see what opportunities there are for trade, check on what goods they are short of, that sort of thing.
What do they import now? Rice, salt, oil, metals; those are taken care of, but there must be other commodities they could do with. Why, if I sat down and worked it all out I bet I could do substantial undercutting of the other traders."
"Very commendable," I said. Why was it I didn't believe him?
"Well, what do you say? I was just bargaining with these fellows for the loan of their horse for a few days, but they obviously want cash down. Now, if you want me to make a life of my own-if you still insist you don't want to come in with me, which is the most sensible thing to do, let's face it-then you can't deny me this chance. I just need a few coins to hire the horse and kit myself out-"
"How much?" At least it meant he would be out from under my feet for a few days.
He named a sum, but I shook my head. "Too much. I'll talk to them, or try to. .
"No, no, no. No need. I'll do my own bargaining. Probably bring them down by half . . ."
Which meant he had been trying to con me out of some extra for himself.
Apparently the men were satisfied with his revised offer, and I paid out a few coins from my money belt after they had shown us where the horse was stabled and included the hire of saddle and bridle.
We started back up the steep track to the monastery together, hoping for a lift on the way, but quite prepared to walk, though Growch would grumble long before the top.
"I suppose you were in the village looking for lodgings," said d.i.c.kon carelessly, when we had walked for about five minutes. "Any luck?"
"Not yet," I answered, equally carelessly. "Plenty of time."
"Oh. Yes, of course. Well you might as well wait now until I get back and I can give you a hand s.h.i.+fting your gear."
"There's not much to carry. Anyway, Ky-Lin can help me."
"How?"
"He can do the bargaining. Don't worry, just take your time. I'll be fine."
He hesitated. "In that case-I'll need a bit more money. For provisions."
I gave him a couple of coins. "That should be enough for some cooked rice and dried fruit."
He inspected the coins. "Not very generous, are you?"
"We've managed on less."
Just then we heard the rattle of the little wagon that carried goat milk down from the monastery twice a day coming up behind us, so we rode the rest of the way.
That he was determined on going somewhere there was no doubt; that night he was packed up well before bedtime, and had already arranged a lift down to the village before c.o.c.kcrow.
Once again I couldn't sleep. Once again I went out onto the balcony, once again gazed out at the waxing moon. Had it been just my imagination that had showed me a fleeting shadow across that glowing surface? Was my sudden change of spirits due to no more than an illusion? And then, just as the moon touched the tip of the mountains I saw it again! No bigger than a distant leaf in autumn, it drifted across the face of the moon. I was almost certain now.
Almost . . .
My heart thudding, not even bothering to throw a cloak over the nights.h.i.+rt I wore, I ran down to the little garden below, my hands grasping the bal.u.s.trade so hard they hurt. But there was nothing there, nothing.
Nothing other than the whisper of air across my cheek as though great wings were beating far above.
I waited and waited, but it seemed that was that. Despondently I trailed back to bed, and was just dozing off when there came a sudden rattling crash. It seemed to come from the direction of d.i.c.kon's room. He wasn't sleepwalking, was he? Or perhaps he had decided to get up extra early so as not to miss his lift to the village. Once again I hurried out onto the balcony; now the noise appeared to be coming from the little garden. The stupid boy hadn't fallen down the steps, had he?
"What the devil do you think you are doing, d.i.c.kon? Some of us are trying to sleep. . . ."
"Some of us can't sleep," came a voice from below. "And who the h.e.l.l is d.i.c.kon? Not that stupid boy who stole your money all that long time ago, surely?"
Chapter Twenty.Seven.
"Wimperling!" I called out joyously.
But no, it wasn't my little winged pig, the one who had flown me to safety all that long time ago, because he wasn't a pig at all, was he? He had almost broken my heart when he had burst to smithereens at my third kiss and left only a tiny piece of shrivelled hide that even now I wore in the pouch around my neck.