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l.u.s.t hit him like a stampede, trampling all his good intentions, all his play.
"Now you did it, Suns.h.i.+ne. One I could have managed, but hitting me with both..." He shook his head and propped himself on his hands so that they were only joined at the hips. c.o.c.k to p.u.s.s.y. Male to female. Husband to wife. He shook his hair back out of his eyes. "Now I'm afraid you're in for it."
She didn't look scared, just the opposite. She looked femininely eager, hungry. The way he'd dreamed she'd look at him. The rightness of her in his arms, his bed, hit him like a sledgehammer.
"Son of a b.i.t.c.h, you're something, Jenna."
"I could say the same."Her hands stroked his chest, lingering on the scar while her ankles hooked behind his back. The breathy catch to her speech hooked in his desire, dragged his l.u.s.t past his control, sent his hips down into hers, his c.o.c.k spearing deep. Her head fell back. Any doubts he had about her enjoyment were dispelled by her long, moaning "Yesssss!"
It was all over for him then. The bits of civilized restraint that he clung to blew away before the force of his pa.s.sion. He drove into her over and over again, lunging deeper with every thrust, making a place for himself inside her body, her life. A place where he didn't have to think, where he could just be.
She groaned with every thrust and threw her hips up to meet him, taking what he had to give. Taking the pleasure, the desire, and in return, she gave him calm, her soft arms circling his neck when the climax hit him, anchoring him through the violence of his body's eruption, stroking him in the aftermath, her tears bathing his cheek as he found peace.
Chapter Twelve.
"b.u.t.ton's not going anywhere, Jenna," Clint said, clucking his tongue as he backed the gelding into the traces of the small buggy.
Jenna stilled her fidgeting and folded her hands in the drape of her cloak.
"I know." It was her deepest fear. That Cougar and Mara would keep Brianna. Or worse, that Brianna would be so settled it would be impossible to take her away.
"I'm just anxious."
Clint tossed a handful of hay onto the ground in front of the horse and then turned to face her. The brim of his hat shadowed his eyes, keeping her from determining his mood. "Anxious about what?"
"Just in general." He tilted his head to the side, studying her. Without the benefit of a hat like his, and with her hood down she had no defense against his perusal. She waved to the horse. "Shouldn't you be getting him harnessed before he eats all that hay?"
Clint pulled another handful of hay out of the bale and tossed it on the ground with the rest and grabbed thedangling strap under the black's belly. As he started pulling it tight, he glanced over his shoulder.
"You know, Suns.h.i.+ne, a lesser man might be discouraged to see his wife was in such a hurry to bring the honeymoon to an end."
"I'm glad you're not a lesser man."
Because a lesser man would be right. She did want the honeymoon over and considered it a blessing that her woman's time had made its infrequent appearance this morning. Clint was not a cruel man, but he was a very demanding man. He took everything she offered, accepting whatever she gave, never saying when it was enough. He made her so nervous that way. She didn't know what he wanted of her and maybe if Brianna was here, he'd be too distracted to notice she didn't have a clue.
"Nothing to be sorry for." He fastened the last strap, then grabbed the reins and threaded them through the guides before tossing the ends over the front edge of the buggy.
"It's not like we don't have fifty years or so to make up the difference." He slapped the black on the rump and headed for her, his long legs eating up the distance with disconcerting speed. "That being the case, what has you coming out of your skin?"
The wind gusted around the barn, blowing his hairinto his face. He flicked it back with a toss of his head.
The morning sun glanced off the sharp edge of his cheekbones and the uncompromising line of his jaw.
There wasn't an ounce of insecurity in the man.
Jenna clenched the folds of the cloak in her hands.
"What if she doesn't remember me?"
He pulled his leather gloves off and tucked the cuffs into the front pocket of his denims.
"She'll remember you." It might have been her imagination, but his drawl seemed deeper, softer. She focused her gaze on the tan gloves dangling from his pocket. There was a small tear on the back of one.
"She might not. We didn't have much time together."
"Brianna's not stupid." That flex of his thigh muscles could have meant anything-he could be uncomfortable or he could be getting impatient. The effort to keep her voice level had her hands aching.
"I did so many things wrong."
"You did a whole lot right." The side of his finger under her chin brought her head up. She couldn't yank her gaze from his.
"How can you know?" It was barely a whisper of sound, but he heard.
"There's not another woman in the territory with a bigger heart than you, Jenna McKinnely. Brianna isn'tgoing to forget something like that."
She caught his wrist in her hand. His flesh was cool from the air. The sprinkle of hairs tickled her palm. "Are you sure?"
He slipped his hand around her neck. "I'm sure."
She let go of his wrist, letting her fingers slide up the rough fabric of his sheepskin jacket, until they rested atop the hard bulge of his biceps, clinging to the a.s.surance in his gaze like it was a lifeline. The descent of his head blocked out the sun and then his lips were on hers, not with the pa.s.sion she was used to but with a more soothing touch. He was comforting her, she realized as he brushed his mouth over hers again. The wind whipped the long stands of his hair against her cheeks, and she leaned into his chest, trusting him to support her as she sampled the astounding realization until the last possible moment, feeling a heartbeat of loss as he broke off the kiss.
Clint tucked her into his side with the same casual ease with which he tucked a tendril of hair behind her ear and said, "Let's go get our daughter, Jenna."* * * * *
The thirty minutes it took to get to Cougar and Mara's house was the worst of Jenna's life. With each turn of the wheel along the frozen, rutted road she grew more and more convinced that she was doing the wrong thing. Mara and Cougar were married, in love, and desperate for a child. They could offer Brianna things she never could. Confidence. Security. Two loving parents who loved each other.
She absolutely knew she was doing the wrong thing when they pulled up in front of Mara's house. It was a mansion. A huge, sprawling log structure that intimidated with its grandeur. She could see Cougar living here. But more importantly, she could see Brianna growing up here. Safe. Respected. Loved.
She caught Clint's arm as he set the brake. "If Brianna doesn't remember me, I'm leaving her here."
It would about kill her, but she wasn't going to ruin Brianna's life with her selfish desires. Clint stared at her a long time, his black eyes unreadable, and then he calmly got down from the buggy. A thin layer of ice cracked under his weight. He still didn't say a word as he came around to her side. He just held his hand out for hers.She stood. The buggy lurched. Clint caught her around the waist and steadied her. Her hands automatically settled on his shoulders. Through his heavy coat she could feel the s.h.i.+ft of muscle. She gathered her courage as he lowered her. As soon as her feet hit the ground she said, "I mean it, Clint."
"I hear you." He steadied her as she found her balance. It was such a little thing, but he was always seeing to the little things, and it always made her feel more important than she probably was.
"Why don't you sound concerned?"
He c.o.c.ked his eyebrow at her. "Probably because I came here to take my daughter home, and I'm not leaving without her."
She glanced at the house, and flinched away from the reality as wind whipped her cloak around her legs. "She may be settled."
"I'm sure Cougar and Mara have taken wonderful care of her, but she's our daughter."
"You keep saying that."
"Probably because it's true."
"But Cougar and Mara-"
His finger over her lips silenced the painful suspicion eating at her.
"Will have kids of their own some day," he finishedfor her. "Kids who will grow up as close as brother and sister with Brianna, but Brianna is ours."
The wind blew again. Clint watched his words sink past Jenna's confusion. She blinked as a stray hair blew across her eyes. He reached up and brushed it away, letting his fingers linger at her temple as she visibly wrestled with herself. And sighed.
She had no confidence, no belief that anyone would want her for anything, but that wasn't why she was willing to leave Brianna here. He knew that. He was beginning to see how her mind worked. She wanted the best for Brianna and she knew Cougar and Mara were guaranteed. In contrast, she saw herself as the wild card in the mix. The potential ruination of that little girl's life.
As if anyone who could love so deeply, so unselfishly, could ever be anything but the best.
"I want our daughter, Jenna."
"Really?" She about tore his heart out with the desperate hope in her face.
"Really." She stood looking at him, saying nothing more, her expression a mixture of hope and fear, her doubts so loud he could hear them. He pulled her against his chest with the next gust of wind, turning them slightly so he took the brunt. "I want you both."
"I don't want to ruin her life." That plump lower lip of hers that drove him crazy with his need to nibble on it,slipped between her teeth.
"Then act like her mother."
He felt ten times a heel the minute the words left his mouth, but d.a.m.n it, it p.i.s.sed him off when she put herself down like that. His hand on her back kept her from flinching away.
"Brianna needs someone who will stick by her, Jenna, not run the minute the doubts start."
"I want to be her mother." No one hearing the hope in her voice could disbelieve it.
"Then do it."
"Just like that?"
He nodded. "Just like that."
Her hands came up against his chest, their pressure slight. She leaned back. He didn't give her room, so all she ended up doing was arching over his arm, exposing the vulnerable hollow of her throat. He leaned down, taking full advantage, pressing his lips against the rapidly beating pulse there.
"You're going to be a wonderful mother, Jenna."
Her "I am?" drifted over his head. He kissed the soft spot under her ear.
"Yes."
He pulled back as her breath hitched, just far enough that he could see her eyes. Flecks of deep blue broke upthe clear sky blue of her eyes. Their shade darkened as determination shoved out doubt.
"I'll love her so much she'll never feel lonely."
"You do that." He couldn't imagine anyone loved by Jenna feeling lonely.
"I'll try to love you, too." Her fingertips curved into his chest hard enough that he could feel the pressure through his coat. He could tell that she meant it, and the part of him that he'd thought long dead stirred with hope. He squashed it.
"I left lovable behind me a long time ago, Suns.h.i.+ne."
"You don't want me to love you?"
"I don't think that's something that can be forced."
She didn't argue with him. She never argued with him, but her chin set in a stubborn tilt. She clearly had her own idea on the subject, and as much as he knew he should say something to knock down her plans, he didn't. If she was determined enough to find something lovable about him, he was selfish enough to take advantage of her soft side. He finally settled on, "I'll be content with your cooperation."
"With what?"
He slid his hand bend her neck tipping her chin back with his thumb. "This."
He brought his mouth to hers. Her lips partedimmediately at the brush of his tongue, tempting him with the moist heat beyond. He pulled her closer, pressed deeper. She relaxed against him, accepting his lead, sparking his l.u.s.t higher with the knowledge that she'd let him do whatever he wanted even as it prodded the remnants of his conscience with her vulnerability.
"Should I put Tidbit down for her nap so you all can go back and finish up your honeymoon?"
The amused question sliced through Jenna's complacency with the efficiency of a knife. She went from relaxed to board stiff in the s.p.a.ce of a heartbeat. Clint pulled back a breath, pressing Jenna's face into his chest.
"Go devil your own wife, Cougar."
"Got her right here." A muted squeal punctuated the statement.
Clint shook his head. For a man who spent every waking moment making sure nothing ever disturbed a hair on his tiny wife's head, Cougar spent an inordinate amount of time deviling her. Looking down at Jenna's red face, her lips swollen from his kiss, he began to understand why. There was something very tempting about a woman caught between propriety and pa.s.sion.
"We'll be right in," Clint called, running the backs of his fingers over Jenna's hot cheek, an inner smile springing to life as she closed her eyes and leaned into his hand."You might want to hurry it up before your wife freezes solid," Cougar admonished.
"Are you cold?" Clint arched a brow at Jenna. She shook her head, blushed anew, and took a deep breath.
The wind gusted and his hair whipped across her face.
The dark strands stood out starkly against her pale skin.
He pulled them off her face, leaving it clear again.
"Good."
"I'll put the coffee on," Mara called.
"Thanks." As soon as the door thunked shut, Jenna said, "I don't like that man."
"He grows on you." Clint kissed the top of her head.
She remained silent on the subject, but tucking her into his side wasn't as easy as before due to the stiffness in her spine. He sighed, steering her in the direction of the house. "Cougar's a good man, Jenna. A good friend to have."
"He doesn't like me."
"He likes you as much as I want him to."
She stopped dead. "What does that mean?"