The Redemption: Lucifer Part 8

I notice a slight hesitation in her movements right before she looks over at me. When our eyes finally meet, I feel an instant connection. It's as if I've been missing an important part of myself all my life, only to have it finally returned to me in that moment.

"I'll leave the two of you to talk," Lilly tells me.

I'm aware of Lilly walking back inside the house and closing the door, but my attention is totally consumed by my mother.

Even though I grew up with her picture hanging above my fireplace in Cirrus, being in her actual physical presence leaves me speechless. For one of the few times in my life, I'm not sure what to do next.

My mother stands from her seat on the swing but doesn't make to move towards me.

"h.e.l.lo, Anna," she says, a melancholy smile stretching her lips. She watches me closely, and I a.s.sume she's not sure what to do next either.

"h.e.l.lo," I say, not sure how I should address her. Mother seemed too formal but mommy seemed too childish.

My mother folds her hands in front of her.

"I heard today is your wedding day to Malcolm," she says, trying to give me a true smile of happiness but not able to reach it because of her own eternal misery.

I nod, not able to think of anything else to say on the subject.

"I never could have imagined Malcolm would end up being your soulmate," she says. "But I couldn't have picked a better man to love you. He's been so lonely for so long. I'm just happy the two of you were able to find one another. I wanted to come here and wish you a happy and long life together."

After that, neither of us says anything for a long time, but as I look at her, all my mind and heart can think to say is, "I'm sorry."

My mother c.o.c.ks her head to the side as she looks at me in confusion.

"What on earth do you have to be sorry about?"

"I'm sorry my birth caused your death. I'm sorry I'm the reason you're so sad. I'm sorry you weren't given the chance to have your happily ever after with Lucifer because of me. Basically, I'm sorry I ruined your life."

"Oh, Anna," my mother sighs, shaking her head at me. "You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about. Why do you feel guilt over something that was never within your power to control? I knew what I was doing when I decided to go through with the pregnancy. I understood what I would be giving up."

"I know Lucifer tried to convince you to abort me," I tell her.

"I never could have done that," she tells me, no hesitation in her statement. "I never could have killed you. You're my baby, Anna. You are the product of my love for Lucifer. How could I have destroyed you when you represent something so beautiful?"

"But you wouldn't be separated from one another now if you had simply let me go."

"Then, we would have been separated by your death instead of mine. I never would have been able to forgive myself or Lucifer if I had murdered you for such a selfish reason. I don't regret my decision to have you. I never have. My only regret is not being there for you when you needed me. I missed seeing you transform from that beautiful little baby I held in my arms when I died into the gorgeous woman standing in front of me now. I know I shouldn't, but I envy Andre of those little moments he was able to share with you while you were growing up. They're moments that will never happen again. Memories I will never get to have with you. It's time I can never get back. I'm the one who should be apologizing to you. I wish I had been stronger and able to survive your birth. I'm sorry I had to leave you."

"It wasn't your fault," I tell her.

"And my death wasn't your fault," she replies.

We're both silent for a moment until I say, "Can I ask you a question?"

"You can ask me anything."

"Why did you want Lucifer to raise me? Why was that so important to you?"

"I knew he needed someone to love after I was gone," my mother tells me. "He has so much love to give, Anna. He just refuses to let many people see that side of him. During the time we were together, he showed me every day just how much he loved me. That's what real love is all about. Grandiose gestures are pleasant enough, but doing the little day-to-day things for someone shows your ability to love on a completely different level. The way they look at you. The way they touch you. The way they respect your thoughts and opinions. All those little things add up over time and give proof to a love that transcends a simple romance."

I understood what she meant because Malcolm was always showing me his love in simple ways. His little nightly notes during our courting period. The way he would always hold my hand when we walked beside one another. His eagerness to show me how to build things with him in his workshop. There were a dozen or more small things he would do for me during any given day that showed his love for me with actions and not just words.

"I thought you might be hoping I could change him into someone who would ask for G.o.d's forgiveness," I tell her. "If he would just do that, the two of you could be together forever."

"No one can make someone do something they're not ready for," she says. "And I won't say the thought didn't cross my mind, but mostly I just didn't want him to be alone. He needed you after my death. I just wish he could have seen that fact for himself. I still have hope that he will find the strength within himself to ask G.o.d for forgiveness, but he's always been extremely hardheaded where his father is concerned. I'm not sure his pride will let him bow down in front of G.o.d and admit he's been wrong all these years."

"Do you think G.o.d would forgive him if he did?" I ask. "He's done so many bad things during his time on Earth. Even while he was in Heaven, he was sinful. He was the whole reason for the war here."

"Do you believe G.o.d wouldn't redeem your father if he asked for it?"

I feel unprepared for the question but answer truthfully.

"I don't know."

"If a person comes to Him truly repentant, G.o.d will forgive them. He loves Lucifer as much as he loves you, me, practically anyone you can name. He doesn't pick and choose who is worthy of redemption, Anna. All He does is wait for those who want His forgiveness to come to Him and ask for it with an open heart. As long as you truly mean it and are sorry for the sins you've committed, He can forgive anything."

"Then why doesn't Lucifer do that?" I ask. "I know he wants to be with you as much as you want to be with him. Why is he torturing you both like this?"

"Lucifer's pride has always denied him his greatest happiness," my mother tells me. "It was his pride which stripped him of his place here in Heaven, and it's his pride which keeps him from letting go of his hate and accepting his failures."

"I've been to h.e.l.l," I tell my mother.

Her eyes grow wide in alarm. "Why on earth would you ever do that, Anna? Don't you understand how dangerous that place is?"

"Lucifer was keeping information from me. I needed to know what he knew. Did you know he's been hiding there and reliving memories of you since your death?"

My mother's eyes water with tears, and she places a shaky hand over her heart.

"I guess I should have known that," she says, a catch in her voice. "I've been feeling his pain since I left."

"You're still connected to one another?" I ask, finding clarity in how strong the spiritual bond between soulmates actually is. With my limited knowledge of such a connection, I simply a.s.sumed the tie would be broken after death.

"If anything, it became stronger after my death," my mother reveals.

She closes her eyes, and I watch as tears course down her cheeks. Her sadness tears at my heart. I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her, hoping to bring her at least a little bit of comfort.

She doesn't hug me back right away, but when she does, I feel her let go of a small portion of her burden as she lays her head on my shoulder and cries.

I wish there was something I could do for her to take her pain away. However, I know I'm not the person who can do that. Only Lucifer can work such a miracle. Now that I know the connection between their souls is still present, I can't understand why Lucifer would still let his pride keep them apart. Why does he find it so difficult to simply admit how wrong he's been and ask G.o.d to forgive him? Or is h.e.l.l itself preventing such a thing from happening? Is that another reason why it's been showing Lucifer memories of my mother? Does it want to keep him trapped within its bowels because it knows it will never find someone as powerful as him to feed its insatiable need for power fueled by hate?

I don't try to rush my mother. I simply let her cry on my shoulder and do my best to help her through her sorrow.

Suddenly, I feel her wince like someone physically hit her in the gut. She pulls back from me.

"I'm sorry," she says, a new set of tears forming in her eyes. "I need to leave."

"Why?" I ask. "What's wrong?"

She shakes her head at me, tears streaming down her face once again.

"I can't...I can't take the pain he's going through right now," she tells me. "I don't know what h.e.l.l's showing him but...I'm sorry. I need to leave."

She leans in and kisses me on the cheek. "I love you, Anna. Please don't forget that."

My mother phases away, leaving me on the porch alone.

I instantly know exactly where I need to go.

When I phase to h.e.l.l, I find Lucifer sitting on the bench in the replica of Malcolm's courtyard. His eyes look glazed over, and he doesn't seem to notice my sudden appearance. He seems locked inside his own little world, a place where his memories of my mother have him trapped.

I look behind me to see what scene h.e.l.l is making him watch. I see Lucifer pacing back and forth inside a little chapel. He's dressed in a nicely tailored black tuxedo and looks agitated for some reason. Malcolm stands in the back of the little church with his arms crossed over his chest. His mien is grave as he observes Lucifer's behavior.

"Nervous?" Malcolm asks him in a mocking tone.

Lucifer stops pacing and looks over at Malcolm. It's obvious from the expression on his face that he thought he was alone.

Lucifer turns to face Malcolm.

"I'm wondering why I agreed to do this," Lucifer confesses.

"So am I," Malcolm admits. "I didn't think you loved her this much, if you want to know the truth of the matter."

"I love her more than a mangy little mongrel like you could ever understand, Malcolm. Why are you here anyway? Amalie knows we hate each other. I don't think she expects you to be here to show your approval."

"I don't approve," Malcolm says with a shrug. "But that doesn't really seem to matter to her. I'm here in case you chicken out, and I need to help her pick up the pieces when you abandon her."

"I won't abandon her," Lucifer says stridently. "I wouldn't do that to her. She means everything to me."

"So you say," Malcolm says, sounding unconvinced, "but when it comes down to it, I know you'll end up disappointing her. If not today, some other day. It's only a matter of time, Lucifer. And when it happens, I'll help her through it."

"Why? Are you in love with her too?"

"No, but I do love her," Malcolm says. "She's my friend, and I'm always loyal to my friends, even when I think they're making a monumental mistake. I doubt that's something you can understand. You're too selfish and self-centered to sacrifice a little bit of yourself for someone you love."

"Don't stand there and pontificate to me, Malcolm. You have no idea what I would give for Amalie. But then again, our father hasn't seen fit to provide you with a soulmate yet, has he? Oh wait...you thought it was Lilly at one time. You were wrong about that, and you're wrong about Amalie and me. I think you're just jealous that you haven't been able to experience a love like ours. Is that the real reason you're against us doing this today? Is your jealousy eating you alive?"

"Don't transpose your own feelings onto me, Lucifer. You and I are nothing alike."

"We're probably more alike than either one of us would want to admit," Lucifer says. "We're both stubborn to a fault when we think we're right."

"I don't think I'm right," Malcolm says. "I know I am. I'll make a promise to you though, even if you don't deserve it. When you break her heart, and I know you will, I'll help her through it as much as I can."

"It won't happen," Lucifer says, but his voice lacks conviction. It's almost like he knows what Malcolm has said will happen one day, and he won't be able to stop his nature from preventing it.

"When it does," Malcolm says, no hate in his voice just resignation, "I will be there for her."

The doors to the little chapel open and my mother walks in dressed in a simple white dress.

Malcolm phases as if he doesn't want her to know he was there at all.

I'm not sure she would have noticed him if he had stayed. All of her attention it focused on Lucifer. Her face lights up with joy when she sees him and her unadulterated happiness fills the little chapel to bursting. She walks up the short aisle to stand with the man she loves.

"Are you ready?" She asks, taking his hands into her own.

"Do we have to do it like this?" Lucifer asks, and I can tell it's not the first time he's asked this particular question.

"It's what I've always wanted," my mother says. "I won't feel like its real unless we do it this way."

Lucifer sighs heavily. "Only for you would I agree to do this."

My mother smiles because she knows she's won. I see her close her eyes. A few seconds later, G.o.d appears next to them.

G.o.d looks from my mother to Lucifer.

"It's been a long time, my son," G.o.d says to him.

"Yes," Lucifer says, reluctantly acknowledging his father's presence. "A long time."

"Thank you for coming," my mother tells G.o.d.

"I will come whenever you ask, Amalie," G.o.d replies, smiling at her. "Are you ready to get married?"

My mother nods her head and looks back at Lucifer. "I've been ready since the moment I saw him."

Lucifer can't prevent himself from smiling back at my mother in her moment of joy.

"Then let's begin," G.o.d says.

The scene freezes like someone pressed pause. I look back at Lucifer and see him staring at his memory like he's frozen in time too.

"Tragic, isn't it?" A woman with a throaty voice says.

I look past Lucifer and see a slender woman in her mid-twenties standing in the shadows with a fully-grown h.e.l.lhound standing close to her side. Her wavy, long blonde hair is parted to the right, and she's wearing a red sequined, spaghetti strapped dress. She stares at me with eyes the same pale blue color as Lucifer's. I feel my heart grow cold simply by her presence. Her perfectly shaped scarlet lips stretch into an awkward smile to show whiter than white teeth. She looks picture-perfect in every way, which instantly tells me she isn't real. No one can look as flawless as she does.

"Who are you?" I ask.

"I am no one," she answers, slowly walking forward with the h.e.l.lhound matching each of her measured steps.

"Then, what are you?"

"Ahh," she says with a tilt of her head, exposing the lily-white flesh of her neck. "Now that's a smarter question to ask, Anna."

"Do you plan to answer it?" I ask, as she comes to stand directly behind Lucifer.

The woman looks down at Lucifer in revulsion.

"Look at him," she says in disgust. "How the mighty have fallen. He was once one of the most powerful creatures in all of existence. But, now his power has been weakened to a point where he's almost useless to me now and all because of a woman."