Arresting Grace Part 15

"I really can't. I have an audition Thursday for the Cher impersonator. They liked my audition tape and called me."

She saw the new guy. "I'm Samantha."

"I'm Dustin."

"Hi, Dustin. I'm Louisa."

"Michael."

"I'm going shopping for a wig tomorrow. The director said he wanted me to be convincing. I don't want to get a cheap Halloween wig. You can tell those are fake from a mile away. Obviously, I don't look like Cher, so if they're looking for someone who does, I don't stand a chance."

"Be proud you don't look like her," said Dustin. "Did you see her in 'Burlesque?' Oh, my G.o.d, I thought I was watching 'Jura.s.sic Park 4.' She's had so much work done she couldn't move her lips."

"She's got more money than G.o.d. She can afford to look any way she wants."

"She's a fossil. What is she, like 102?"

Walter interrupted. "Hey! She's my age. We're six months apart."

"But Walter, she's had so much work done she looks artificial."

Charles came in and said h.e.l.lo. "Oh, man. You are so lucky."

Samantha turned to me. "Oh, my gosh. You missed it. After you left last week, we watched a video. Some cheesy one from the 70s about how cops spot drunk drivers."

"I've seen that twice. Glad I missed it."

"When it was over, Walter left the lights off and put in another tape. He didn't tell us a word about it. All of a sudden, the t.i.tle came up: 'A film by Walter Page.'"

"It was his?"

"Yes! It was his trip to Africa. The first picture that came up was a hot air balloon with this cheesy music playing in the background, 'Up, up and away!'"

Louisa joined in. "Are you talking about his movie? That's right, you and James missed it."

"When was it made?"

"Looked like the early 90s."

"What did he edit it on?"

"Probably a clunky Mac and first-generation Pro Tools."

That's right, I remembered. It was his pa.s.sion.

"He's actually pretty talented. It was really well-edited."

"Who was he with?"

"His wife."

"She hadn't pa.s.sed away yet?"

"No. You could hear her voice throughout the film."

"Did you see her?"

"No. Didn't see Walter, either. They narrated it. All you saw were hot air balloons and animals running through the wild."

"I have to see this video," I said.

Benton entered, wearing a brown-striped suit. He saw me and realized it was my last night. In his eyes, I could see he was sad. From the first week, I thought I had him figured out. Maybe I did, but I was still going to miss him. Funny how things turn.

It was 6:05 by that point. Where was James?

"I don't remember him saying he was going to be absent tonight. Do you guys?"

"No."

"He'll have to come back next week. Michael is our lone graduate tonight. We'll hear from you shortly. If James doesn't show, that is. I'll give him a few extra seconds before shutting the door."

James didn't show, but another guy did, and I knew right away the dynamic of the group was about to change. Younger guy, couldn't have been more than 22, 23, carrying a skateboard and overstuffed backpack. His hands were covered with ink, or grease-I couldn't tell. Had one fingernail that had been smashed and eventually would fall off, and tattoos covering his neck. One said, "Bronze." It began on the upper part of his neck and disappeared underneath his hooded sweats.h.i.+rt. His knuckles were inked with the card symbols for spades and diamonds, in alternating patterns. He sat in the chair nearest the door, keeping his head down, and put his board behind the seat.

"Edward?" Walter asked.

"That's right."

"And this is Dustin."

I looked at the two of them. They couldn't be more different. Dustin was a mammoth of a man. Doc Martens and white socks, sweater with an oxford underneath. An amazing voice. A radio voice.

Walter went over the rules. We had heard them so many times it was like listening to an airline attendant giving safety precautions-one is aware someone's talking, but tunes him out and lets his mind wander. "I know it's dinnertime so I let you bring food. Technically, I'm not allowed to, but I haven't been fired yet. I'll keep doing it until...

"All said, a first-time DUI will cost you between $8,000 to $10,000, once you take into account court fees, whether or not you hired a lawyer, if your car was impounded. Your insurance is going to go up for three years. Second offense, the fees are draconian. You're looking at $20,000 and 18 months of this cla.s.s. I have people pulling their teeth out after five months. I've seen people take six years to complete it.

"You must be on time. The girls at the desk may let you in if you're a couple of minutes late, but no more than that. Just ask Samantha."

"I thought it started at 7:00."

"Depends on if there is a line. But if they won't let you in, you'll have to reschedule. Again, money out of your pocket. It's not fair to the rest of the cla.s.s, either. If you know it's going to take an hour to get here, plan accordingly. Give yourself extra time.

"You're not allowed to come to cla.s.s under the influence. That means anything. Don't go to the dentist that day if you have to get any work done. Nothing. If I suspect you are under the influence, I will get one of the other instructors and we will evaluate you. If we think you are under the influence, we'll have you take a breathalyzer. If you pa.s.s, nothing happens. But if anything shows up, it's grounds for termination."

Edward spoke up. Loudly, semi-aggressive. Or perhaps defensive. "What if it's prescription?"

"You still can't take it before you come here."

"But it's my medicine. I have to take it."

"Then take it at lunch and when you get home. But not in here."

"Understood, sir."

Samantha whispered, "I think I'm getting a contact high from this kid." It was true. Bloodshot eyes-he was baked.

"So what's going on in the news? The big news: the Mega Lottery. You are all still here, so I'm a.s.suming you didn't win."

"Javier's not here. He might have."

"Let's hope he was smart enough to get out of this state." (Courtney) "Of course, the major news is the Arizona shooting. We're still not sure if it was politically related or not."

Walter began a non-threatening discourse on gun laws and why he thought the rules should be tougher. Edward interrupted, speaking more aggressively this time.

"People are going to get guns one way or another. We have gun control laws now but the g.a.n.g.b.a.n.gers are still killing themselves in the streets. Why not just make it where they can't steal the pins out of the Uzis, or have to register it with a gun club? Lock it in the chest. That's what I do with my firearms. Hitler came into power and the first thing he did was take away everybody's guns. It was the first thing."

He put his head down.

Walter countered his argument with statistics. He mentioned the U.K. and the time he'd spent there, how safe he and his wife felt. "In Britain and other countries, they have tough gun laws and the crime is way down."

"You're contradicting yourself," Edward argued. "In Canada, they have no gun laws whatsoever and there's hardly any crime. But just across the river, in New York, guns are illegal and the crime rate is up."

I wasn't sure what he meant by across the river.

"What about family bonding? Parents and children shooting together? That's what me and my family members do. The crazies are going to get guns no matter if they're legal or not."

"Well, I'm not going to sit and argue with you. I'd win but I'm not going to do it, even though I think your opinion is full of..." He cut himself off. "It's not fair to everyone else in the room. It would be wasting their time."

"Understood, sir."

He put his head down.

"I'll correlate this to DUIs, which you guys knew I would do. You all broke the law. Laws are there to protect people. That's the reason they've made it tough on you. They're trying to protect the people on the streets. It's the same principle.

"Tonight I want to show a movie about denial. Some of you may have already seen it. But before that, I'm going to ask Dustin and Edward to tell their stories. What night of the week you were arrested, where you were and what you were doing. Was your car impounded? Who arrested you? What did you blow? Did you hire a lawyer and have you been to court yet? Feel free to embellish on why you don't deserve to be here."

I looked at Courtney. She was laughing with the rest.

"Dustin, you can go first."

"It was Halloween night."

"Were you dressed up?"

"No, I wasn't."

"That would have been legendary," said Benton. "To have your mug shot taken in full costume."

"Wow, it's Harry Potter at the jail," someone offered.

Samantha looked at Dustin and made a hand motion that said "keep the cameras rolling." "This is how we pa.s.s the time," she whispered.

"Funny thing is, I don't think I was inebriated."

Several laughed.

"Go around the room. No one here thinks they were."

"I didn't drink for sixteen years. It wasn't until six months ago."

"Why did you start?"

"My parents pa.s.sed away last year. I got divorced after that. I don't know why. It wasn't a coping mechanism."

"It wasn't? What was it?"

"I was driving a friend home from a bar in Hollywood. He was completely inebriated. Like I said, I didn't think I was. I ran a stop sign. Not only that, it was a right turn only. The cop pulled me over."

"What arresting agency?"

"I'm not sure."

Edward looked up. "Was it CHP? LAPD?"

"I think it was LAPD. They made me get out of the car. Did all the tests. Breathalyzed me and my friend."

"What do you blow?"

"0.09%."

"That sucks," several offered.

"Why did they breathalyze your friend? He wasn't driving."

"They wanted to see if he could drive home. After that, they took me to the station. The cops were actually very nice."

"What happened to your friend?" I asked.

"He walked home. Or took a bus. I'm not sure. What was the next question? Oh, yeah. My car. They didn't impound it."

I thought about my arrest and the kindness the officer had shown. It made me want to find him and thank him, maybe send him a gift card or something. A bottle of wine, perhaps.

Joking, of course.

"In the last year, I've lost 175 lbs. I had the surgery. But I never drank during the time I had the extra weight. I think that's what might have happened. My body didn't know how to adjust."

"Did you hire a lawyer?"

"No, I went with the public defender. He got it knocked down to a wet reckless charge. The DMV said I only had to take this cla.s.s and then could apply for a restricted license. I need it for my work."