The Monikins Part 31

"Your pardon, Sir John--it is put fairly as an abstract question, and one that is to prove a principle. I am glad to hear you say that a man would be apt to decide in this manner; for it shows his ident.i.ty with a monikin. We hold that all of us are apt to think most of ourselves on such occasions."

"My dear brigadier, do not mistake sophistry for reason. Surely, if power belonged only to the poor--and the poor, or the comparatively poor, always compose the ma.s.s--they would exercise it in a way to strip the rich of their possessions."

"We think not, in Leaplow. Cases might exist, in which such a state of things would occur under a reaction; but reactions imply abuses, and are not to be quoted to maintain a principle. He who was drunk yesterday, may need an unnatural stimulus to-day; while he who is uniformly temperate preserves his proper tone of body without recourse to a remedy so dangerous. Such an experiment, under a strong provocation, might possibly be made; but it could scarcely be made twice among any people, and not even once among a people that submits in season to a just division of its authority, since it is obviously destructive of a leading principle of civilization. According to our monikin histories, all the attacks upon property have been produced by property's grasping at more than fairly belongs to its immunities. If you make political power a concomitant of property, both may go together, certainly; but if kept separate, the danger to the latter will never exceed the danger in which it is put daily by the arts of the money-getters, who are, in truth, the greatest foes of property, as it belongs to others."

I remembered Sir Joseph Job, and could not but admit that the brigadier had, at least, some truth on his side.

"But do you deny that the sentiment of property elevates the mind, enn.o.bles, and purifies?"

"Sir, I do not pretend to determine what may be the fact among men, but we hold among monikins, that 'the love of money is the root of all evil.'"

"How, sir, do you account the education which is a consequence of property as nothing?"

"If you mean, my dear Sir John, that which property is most apt to teach, we hold it to be selfishness; but if you mean that he who has money, as a rule, will also have in formation to guide him aright, I must answer, that experience, which is worth a thousand theories, tells us differently. We find that on questions which are purely between those who have, and those who have not, the HAVES are commonly united, and we think this would be the fact if they were as unschooled as bears; but on all other questions, they certainly do great discredit to education, unless you admit that there are in every case TWO rights; for, with us, the most highly educated generally take the two extremes of every argument. I state this to be the fact with monikins, you will remember--doubtless, educated men agree much better."

"But, my good brigadier, if your position about the greater impartiality and independence of the elector who is not influenced by his private interests be true, a country would do well to submit its elections to a body of foreign umpires."

"It would indeed, Sir John, if it were certain these foreign umpires would not abuse the power to their own particular advantage, if they could have the feelings and sentiments which enn.o.ble and purify a nation far more than money, and if it were possible they could thoroughly understand the character, habits, wants, and resources of another people. As things are, therefore, we believe it is wisest to trust our own elections to ourselves--not to a portion of ourselves, but to all of ourselves."

"Immigrants included," put in the captain.

"Why, we do carry the principle well out in the case of gentlemen like yourselves," returned the brigadier, politely, "but liberality is a virtue. As a principle, Sir John, your idea of referring the choice of our representatives to strangers has more merit than you probably imagine, though, certainly, impracticable, for the reasons already given. When we seek justice, we commonly look out for some impartial judge. Such a judge is unattainable, however, in the matter of the interests of a state, for the simple reason that power of this sort, permanently wielded, would be perverted on a principle which, after a most scrupulous a.n.a.lysis, we have been compelled to admit is incorporated with the very monikin nature--viz., selfishness. I make no manner of doubt that you men, however, are altogether superior to an influence so unworthy?"

Here I could only borrow the use of the brigadier's "Hum!"

"Having ascertained that it would not do to submit the control of our affairs to utter strangers, or to those whose interests are not identified with our own, we set about seeing what could be done with a selection from among ourselves. Here we were again met by that same obstinate principle of selfishness; and we were finally driven to take shelter in the experiment of intrusting the interests of all to the management of all."

"And, sir, are these the opinions of Leaphigh?"

"Very far from it. The difference between Leaphigh and Leaplow is just this: the Leaphighers, being an ancient people, with a thousand vested interests, are induced, as time improves the mind, to seek reasons for their facts; while we Leaplowers, being unshackled by any such restraints, have been able to make an effort to form our facts on our reasons."

"Why do you, then, so much prize Leaphigh opinions on Leaplow facts?"

"Why does every little monikin believe his own father and mother to be just the two wisest, best, most virtuous, and discreetest old monikins in the whole world, until time, opportunity, and experience show him his error?"

"Do you make no exceptions, then, in your franchise, but admit every citizen who, as you say, has a nose, ears, bob, and wants, to the exercise of the suffrage?"

"Perhaps we are less scrupulous on this head than we ought to be, since we do not make ignorance and want of character bars to the privilege.

Qualifications beyond mere birth and existence may be useful, but they are badly chosen when they are brought to the test of purely material possessions. This practice has arisen in the world from the fact that they who had property had power, and not because they ought to have it."

"My dear brigadier, this is flying in the face of all experience."

"For the reason just given, and because all experience has. .h.i.therto commenced at the wrong end. Society should be constructed as you erect a house; not from the roof down, but from the foundation upwards."

"Admitting, however, that your house has been badly constructed at first, in repairing it, would you tear away the walls at random, at the risk of bringing all down about your ears?"

"I would first see that sufficient props were reared, and then proceed with vigor, though always with caution. Courage in such an experiment is less to be dreaded than timidity. Half the evils of life, social, personal and political, are as much the effects of moral cowardice as of fraud."

I then told the brigadier, that as his countrymen rejected the inducements of property in the selection of the political base of their social compact, I expected to find a capital subst.i.tute in virtue.

"I have always heard that virtue is the great essential of a free people, and doubtless you Leaplowers are perfect models in this important particular?"

The brigadier smiled before he answered me, first looking about to the right and left, as if to regale himself with the odor of perfection.

"Many theories have been broached on these subjects," he replied, "in which there has been some confusion between cause and effect. Virtue is no more a cause of freedom, except as it is connected with intelligence, than vice is a cause of slavery. Both may be consequences, but it is not easy to say how either is necessarily a cause. There is a homely saying among us monikins, which is quite to the point in this matter: 'Set a rogue to catch a rogue.' Now, the essence of a free government is to be found in the responsibility of its agents. He who governs without responsibility is a master, while he who discharges the duties of a functionary under a practical responsibility is a servant. This is the only true test of governments, let them be mystified as they may in other respects. Responsibility to the ma.s.s of the nation is the criterion of freedom. Now responsibility is the SUBSt.i.tUTE for virtue in a politician, as discipline is the subst.i.tute for courage in a soldier.

An army of brave monikins without discipline, would be very apt to be worsted by an army of monikins of less natural spirit, with discipline.

So a corps of originally virtuous politicians, without responsibility, would be very apt to do more selfish, lawless, and profligate acts, than a corps of less virtue, who were kept rigidly under the rod of responsibility. Unrestrained power is a great corrupter of virtue, of itself; while the liabilities of a restrained authority are very apt to keep it in check. At least, such is the fact with us monikins--men very possibly get along better."

"Let me tell you, Mr. Downright, you are now uttering opinions that are diametrically opposed to those of the world, which considers virtue an indispensable ingredient in a republic."

"The world--meaning always the monikin world--knows very little about real political liberty, except as a theory. We of Leaplow are, in effect, the only people who have had much to do with it, and I am now telling you what is the result of my own observation, in my own country.

If monikins were purely virtuous, there would be no necessity for government at all; but, being what they are, we think it wisest to set them to watch each other."

"But yours is self-government, which implies self-restraint; and self-restraint is but another word for virtue."

"If the merit of our system depended on self-government, in your signification, or on self-restraint, in any signification, it would not be worth the trouble of this argument, Sir John Goldencalf. This is one of those balmy fallacies with which ill-judging moralists endeavor to stimulate monikins to good deeds. Our government is based on a directly opposite principle; that of watching and restraining each other, instead of trusting to our ability to restrain ourselves. It is the want of responsibility, and not of constant and active presence, which infers virtue and self-control. No one would willingly lay legal restraints on himself in anything, while all are very happy to restrain their neighbors. This refers to the positive and necessary rules of intercourse, and the establishment of rights; as to mere morality, laws do very little towards enforcing its ordinances. Morals usually come of instruction; and when all have political power, instruction is a security that all desire."

"But when all vote, all may wish to abuse their trust to their own especial advantage, and a political chaos will be the consequence."

"Such a result is impossible, except as especial advantage is identified with general advantage. A community can no more buy itself in this manner, than a monikin can eat himself, let him be as ravenous as he will. Admitting that all are rogues, necessity would compel a compromise."

"You make out a plausible theory, and I have little doubt that I shall find you the wisest, the most logical, the discreetest, and the most consistent community I have yet visited. But another word: how is it that our friend the judge gave such equivocal instructions to his charge; and why, in particular, did he lay so much stress on the employment of means, which gave the lie flatly to all you have told me?"

Brigadier Downright hereupon stroked his chin, and observed that he thought there might possibly be a s.h.i.+ft of wind; and he also wondered (quite audibly), when we should make the land. I afterwards persuaded him to allow that a monikin was but a monikin, after all, whether he had the advantages of universal suffrage, or lived under a despot.

CHAPTER XXIV. AN ARRIVAL--AN ELECTION--ARCHITECTURE--A ROLLING-PIN, AND PATRIOTISM OF THE MOST APPROVED WATER.

In due time the coast of Leaplow made its appearance, close under our larboard bow. So sudden was our arrival in this novel and extraordinary country, that we were very near running on it, before we got a glimpse of its sh.o.r.es. The seamans.h.i.+p of Captain Poke, however, stood us in hand; and, by the aid of a very clever pilot, we were soon safely moored in the harbor of Bivouac. In this happy land, there was no registration, no pa.s.sports, "no nothin'"--as Mr. Poke pointedly expressed it. The formalities were soon observed, although I had occasion to remark, how much easier, after all, it is to get along in this world with vice than with virtue. A bribe offered to a custom-house officer was refused; and the only trouble I had, on the occasion, arose from this awkward obtrusion of a conscience. However, the difficulty was overcome, though not quite as easily as if douceurs had happened to be in fas.h.i.+on; and we were permitted to land with all our necessary effects.

The city of Bivouac presented a singular aspect as I first put foot within its hallowed streets. The houses were all covered with large placards, which, at first, I took to be lists of the wares to be vended, for the place is notoriously commercial; but which, on examination, I soon discovered were merely electioneering handbills. The reader will figure to himself my pleasure and surprise, on reading the first that offered. It ran as follows:

"HORIZONTAL NOMINATION.

"Horizontal-Systematic-Indoctrinated-Republicans: Attention!

"Your sacred rights are in danger; your dearest liberties are menaced; your wives and children are on the point of dissolution; the infamous and unconst.i.tutional position that the sun gives light by day, and the moon by night, is openly and impudently propagated, and now is the only occasion that will probably ever offer to arrest an error so pregnant with deception and domestic evils. We present to your notice a suitable defender of all those near and dear interests, in the person of,

"JOHN GOLDENCALF,

"the known patriot, the approved legislator, the profound philosopher, the incorruptible statesman. To our adopted fellow-citizens we need not recommend Mr. Goldencalf, for he is truly one of themselves; to the native citizens we will only say, 'Try him, and you will be more than satisfied.'"

I found this placard of great use, for it gave me the first information I had yet had of the duty I was expected to perform in the coming session of the great council; which was merely to demonstrate that the moon gave light by day, and that the sun gave light by night. Of course, I immediately set about, in my own mind, hunting up the proper arguments by which this grave political hypothesis was to be properly maintained.

The next placard was in favor of,