How Successful People Lead Part 4

Level 2 leaders like people and treat them like individuals. They develop relations.h.i.+ps and win people over with interaction instead of using the power of their position. They s.h.i.+ft their focus from "me" to "we." That att.i.tude creates a positive working environment. The workplace becomes more friendly. People begin to like each other. Chemistry starts to develop on the team. People no longer possess a "have to" mind-set. Instead it turns to "want to." The workplace becomes more enjoyable for everyone-leaders and followers alike. Permissional leaders want to help people. They want to see them succeed. The prevalent att.i.tude is one of serving others and bringing out the best in the people they work with.

2. Leaders.h.i.+p Permission Increases

the Energy Level

What happens when you spend time with people you don't especially like or who don't like you? Doesn't it drain you of energy? That kind of environment brings most people down. Even in a neutral environment, if you are with people you don't know very well, doesn't it require a lot of energy to get to know them? Connecting with others always takes energy. Conversely, what happens when you spend time with people you know and like? Doesn't it give you energy? I know it does for me. Spending time with the people I love-whether at work, at home, or while playing-is my greatest joy, and it always energizes me.

Good relations.h.i.+ps create energy, and they give people's interaction a positive tone. When you invest time and effort to get to know people and build good relations.h.i.+ps, it actually pays off with greater energy once the relations.h.i.+ps are built. And in that kind of positive, energetic environment, people are willing to give their best because they know the leader wants the best for them.

3. Leaders.h.i.+p Permission Opens Up Channels

of Communication

The Permission level requires and cultivates good communication and side-by-side relations.h.i.+ps. Level 2 leaders listen to their people, and their people listen to them. I believe most leaders are naturally better at talking than listening. I know that was true for me when I was early in my leaders.h.i.+p journey. I was intent on communicating my vision to others and making sure they understood my agenda. I wanted communication to go only one way-from me to them. The result was that few people bought into my leaders.h.i.+p or my vision. I failed to realize that the road to vision buy-in was two-way communication. That meant I had to learn how to listen.

When you open up the channels of communication on Level 2 and really listen, here is what you must give others: Ears-"I hear what you say."

Eyes-"I see what you say."

Heart-"I feel what you say."

Undivided attention-"I value who you are and what you say."

Only when we do these things are we able to build positive relations.h.i.+ps and persuade people to follow us.

When leaders forge relations.h.i.+ps on Level 2, they not only create better communication, they also create an environment where people begin to work together in a spirit of community and to communicate with one another openly.

4. Leaders.h.i.+p Permission Focuses on

the Value of Each Person

Level 2 leaders.h.i.+p is relationally driven. That is only possible when people respect and value one another. It is impossible to relate well with those you don't respect. When respect lessens in a relations.h.i.+p, the relations.h.i.+p diminishes. You can care for people without leading them, but you cannot lead them effectively beyond Level 1 without caring for them.

Nothing lifts a person like being respected and valued by others. As a leader on Level 2, your goals should be to become aware of the uniqueness of people and learn to appreciate their differences. You need to let them know that they matter, that you see them as individual human beings, not just workers. This att.i.tude makes a positive impact on people, and it strengthens your leaders.h.i.+p and the organization.

To evaluate where you are with your team, write a list of the names of the people on your team. Then determine how well you know each of them by answering the following questions (which come from materials Eli Lilly and Company developed based on the 5 Levels of Leaders.h.i.+p): What three nonbusiness things do you know about this person?

What does this person value?

What are this person's top three concerns?

What does this person want or hope for in life?

If you are unable to answer these questions for someone on your team, then you need to set aside time to get to know him or her better.

5. Leaders.h.i.+p Permission Nurtures Trust If you have integrity with people, you develop trust. Trust is the foundation of Permission. The more trust you develop, the stronger the relations.h.i.+p becomes. The better the relations.h.i.+p, the greater the potential for a leader to gain permission to lead. It's a building process that takes time, energy, and intentionality.

Retired admiral James Stockdale said, "When the crunch comes, people cling to those they know they can trust-those who are not detached, but involved." That is the power of Permission. In times of difficulty, relations.h.i.+ps are a shelter. In times of opportunity, they are a launching pad. Trust is required for people to feel safe enough to create, share, question, attempt, and risk. Without it, leaders.h.i.+p is weak and teamwork is impossible.

The Downside of Permission

The Pressure Is on You to Build

Positive Relations.h.i.+ps

If you're a relational person, as I am, you may be saying to yourself, What downside can there possibly be to developing relations.h.i.+ps, building trust, and gaining people's permission to lead? Isn't it all good? My answer has to be no. While it is true that the positives far outweigh the negatives, there are still downsides to Level 2. Here are the ones I have observed.

1. Permission Leaders.h.i.+p Appears

Too Soft for Some People

In a hard-charging, high-performance, leaders.h.i.+p-intensive environment, leading by permission may appear "soft" to some people. Caring for people and being relational can be seen as weak, especially by leaders who possess a natural bias toward action rather than affection. For that reason, some people dismiss it. What a mistake-and what a handicap to their leaders.h.i.+p potential.

It's been my observation that most people start their leaders.h.i.+p focused on either the "hard" aspects of leaders.h.i.+p, meaning the productivity side, or on the "soft" aspects, meaning the relational side. Those who start on the hard side and refuse to learn softer skills often get stuck on Level 1. They desire to go to Level 3, Production, but they can't achieve it without learning and earning Level 2 first.

In contrast, those who start on the soft side gladly and easily work their way up to Level 2, Permission, but if they don't do more than just win relations.h.i.+ps, they get stuck and never move up to Level 3, Production, either. It takes both Permission and Production to become a good leader.

If you're relational without being productive, you and your team won't achieve any progress. If you're productive without being relational, you may make a small degree of progress in the beginning, but you'll fall short in the long run because you'll either alienate your people or burn them out. You can't become successful in leaders.h.i.+p until you learn both.

2. Leading by Permission Can Be Frustrating

for Achievers

High achievers want to get things done and get them done now! They usually don't want to slow down for anything or anyone. Leading by permission requires them to do exactly that. Building relations.h.i.+ps takes time. It can be very slow work.

If at one end of the spectrum you have achievers ignoring relations.h.i.+ps, at the other end you have highly relational people who allow the relations.h.i.+ps to become an end unto themselves. That's not healthy, either. In fact, the most common reason for leaders not moving up to Level 3 is that they become so relational that they lose sight of the primary goal of leaders.h.i.+p: helping others to work together, move forward, and achieve. When relations.h.i.+ps become an end unto themselves, then high-achieving followers who focus on bottom-line results become restless and often try to do one of two things: take over or leave. You must win both levels as a leader to be successful.

As long as you're winning, people are willing to follow-even if you are hard on them or positional in your leaders.h.i.+p. However, when you drive people to achieve without slowing down to build relations.h.i.+ps, a part of them will want to see you lose. There's a saying that if you step on people's fingers on the way up, they may trip you on the way down. At the very least, if you fail, they'll celebrate your fall and then move on.

3. Permissional Leaders Can Be Taken

Advantage Of

People whose leaders.h.i.+p style is nonrelational are usually seen as no-nonsense leaders. Positional leaders often use their positions to distance themselves from subordinates. High achievers sometimes intimidate their followers. But when leaders are relational, their followers naturally get closer to them. That sometimes means that they mistake kindness for weakness. They believe that encouragement means they don't have to respect boundaries. They a.s.sume that empowerment means they have the freedom to do whatever they want. As a result, they take advantage of their leaders.

As you build relations.h.i.+ps with people on Level 2, I believe you will find that there are four kinds of people: Takers, who leverage the relations.h.i.+p to better themselves but not you or anyone else. They borrow your influence but keep the return.

Developers, who leverage the relations.h.i.+p in a positive way, bettering themselves and you.

Acquaintances, who are content to live off of their relations.h.i.+p with you pa.s.sively, benefiting from successes but never contributing or taking responsibility to grow themselves.

Friends, who enjoy their relations.h.i.+p with you, returning your goodwill and never taking unfair advantage of it.

Being relational is a risk, just as opening yourself up to falling in love is a risk. Sure, you can stay guarded and never get hurt. But you will also never have the chance to have deep, rewarding relations.h.i.+ps that will enrich your life and the lives of others.

4. Permission Leaders.h.i.+p Requires

Openness to Be Effective

Most people don't want to admit their mistakes, expose their faults, and face up to their shortcomings. They don't want their flaws to be discovered. They don't get too close to people because of the negatives in their lives. And if people receive a leaders.h.i.+p position, the urge to hide their weaknesses can become even stronger. Most people believe they must show greater strength as leaders. However, if leaders try to maintain a facade with the people they lead, they cannot build authentic relations.h.i.+ps.

To develop authentic relations.h.i.+ps on the Permission level, leaders need to be authentic. They must admit their mistakes. They must own up to their faults. They must recognize their shortcomings. In other words, they must be the real deal. That is a vulnerable place to be for a leader. And truthfully, it is one of the main reasons many leaders never progress from Level 1 to Level 2 in leaders.h.i.+p.

5. Permission Leaders.h.i.+p Is Difficult for

People Who Are Not Naturally Likable

Some individuals are naturally gifted with people. They interact well with others and easily develop relations.h.i.+ps. But what about people who are not naturally gifted at working with people? For them, moving up to Level 2 usually doesn't come as easily. If they want to win Permission with others, they have to work to make themselves more likable. If you find that difficult, how can you do it? By doing the following: If you haven't already, make a choice to care about others. Liking people and caring about people is a choice within your control.

Look for something that is likable about every person you meet. It's there. Make it your job to find it.

Discover what is likable about yourself and do whatever you can to share that with every person you meet.

Make the effort every day to express what you like about every person in your life.