Character and Conduct Part 34

JULY 27

"Manners impress as they indicate real power. A man who is sure of his point, carries a broad and contented expression, which everybody reads.

And you cannot rightly train one to an air and manner, except by making him the kind of man of whom that manner is the natural expression.

Nature forever puts a premium on reality."

EMERSON.

"A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners."

CHESTERFIELD.

"Manners are the ornament of action, and there is a way of speaking a kind word, or of doing a kind thing, which greatly enhances its value.

What seems to be done with a grudge, or as an act of condescension, is scarcely accepted as a favour."

S. SMILES.

Manners

JULY 28

"There are many tests by which a gentleman may be known;--but there is one that never fails--How does he exercise power over those subordinate to him? How does he conduct himself towards women and children?... He who bullies those who are not in a position to resist, may be a sn.o.b, but cannot be a gentleman. He who tyrannises over the weak and helpless may be a coward, but no true man."

S. SMILES.

"Our servants never seem to leave us; they are paid what many people would call absurdly high wages, but I do not think that is the attraction. My mother does not see very much of them, and finds fault, when rarely necessary, with a simple directness which I have in vain tried to emulate; but her displeasure is so impersonal that there seems to be no sting in it. It is not that they have failed in their duty to herself, but they have been untrue to the larger duty to which she is herself obedient."

_The House of Quiet._

Influence

JULY 29

"And just as we may ruin our own characters without knowing it, so we may ruin the characters of others. We are always influencing each other--a truth which I have often impressed upon you, because I feel its deep importance. We cannot help ourselves. And this influence, which we thus unconsciously exercise by our mere presence, by look, gesture, expression of face, is probably all the more potent for being unconscious. There are germs of moral health or disease continually pa.s.sing from us and infecting for good or ill those about us. We read that when our Lord was on earth virtue went out of Him sometimes, and healed the bodies of those who came in contact with it. His Divine humanity was always diffusing a spiritual atmosphere of purity around Him, which attracted, they knew not how, those who came within the sphere of His influence. So it must be with us in so far as our characters are pure and unselfish and Christlike. Our very presence will influence for good all who are near us, making them purer and n.o.bler and more unselfish, and shaming what is mean and base out of them. If, on the other hand, our characters are ign.o.ble and impure, we shall exude, without knowing or intending it, a poisonous influence on all who come near us. Have we not sometimes felt this mysterious influence--a presence attracting, perhaps awing, us by some sort of spiritual magnetism; or, on the other hand, repelling us as by the presage of impending danger? Let us endeavour to keep this inalienable responsibility of ours always in our thoughts. And it will be a great help to test ourselves now and then by the example of our Divine Master."

_Life Here and Hereafter_, Canon MACCOLL.

Influence

JULY 30

"Let us reflect that the highest path is pointed out by the pure Ideal of those who look up to us, and who, if we tread less loftily, may never look so high again. Remembering this, let it suggest one generous motive for walking heedfully amid the defilements of earthly ways."

N. HAWTHORNE.

"Others are affected by what I am, and say, and do. And these others have also their sphere of influence. So that a single act of mine may spread in widening circles through a nation or humanity."

CHANNING.

"A man who lives right, and is right, has more power in his silence than another has by his words. Character is like bells which ring out sweet music, and which, when touched accidentally even, resound with sweet music."

PHILLIPS BROOKS.

"Quench not the Smoking Flax"

JULY 31

"Make a great deal more of your right to praise the good than of your right to blame the bad. Never let a brave and serious struggle after truth and goodness, however weak it may be, pa.s.s unrecognised. Do not be chary of appreciation. Hearts are unconsciously hungry for it. There is little danger that appreciation shall be given too abundantly. Here and there, perhaps, in your shops and schools and households, there is some one who has too lazily sunk down upon the praise he has received for some good work, and rested in sluggish satisfaction on it; but such disasters hardly count among the unfulfilled lives which have lived meagrely and stuntedly for the lack of some simple cordial human approval of what they have honestly, however blunderingly, tried to do."

PHILLIPS BROOKS.

"It is a great sign of mediocrity to be always praising moderately."

VAUVENARGUES.

"'Quench not the smoking flax'--to which I add, 'Never give unnecessary pain.' The cricket is not the nightingale; why tell him so? Throw yourself into the mind of the cricket--the process is newer and more ingenious; and it is what charity commands."

_Amiel's Journal._

"Quench not the Smoking Flax"

AUGUST 1

"Christians are very often liable not, perhaps, to put obstacles into the way of efforts to do right so much as to refuse them the needful help, without which they have little chance of succeeding. To look coldly on while our fellows are struggling in the waves of this evil sea and never to hold out a hand or to say a word of encouragement, is very often most cruelly to depress all energy of repentance. The strong virtue that can go on its own way without being shaken by any ordinary temptation too often forgets the duty due to the weakness close to its side. By stern treatment of faults which were yet much struggled against, by cold refusal to acknowledge any except plainly successful efforts, by rejecting the approaches of those who have not yet learnt the right way, but are really wis.h.i.+ng in their secret hearts to learn it, those who are strong not unfrequently do much harm to those who are weak."

Bishop TEMPLE.

"The best we can do for each other is to remove unnecessary obstacles, and the worst--to weaken any of the motives which urge us to strive."

_The Standard of Life_, Mrs. BERNARD BOSANQUET.

Influence

AUGUST 2

"Even in ordinary life, contact with n.o.bler natures arouses the feeling of unused power and quickens the consciousness of responsibility."