Character and Conduct Part 17

EMPSON.

"Do we not know that the storm of feeling can be checked, if only we can prevent the first word from being spoken, the first gesture from being made. And is it not matter of common observation that persons who begin by being Stoics in demeanour end by becoming Stoics in reality?"

_The Making of Character_, Professor MACCUNN.

Temper

APRIL 15

"If this be one of our chief duties--promoting the happiness of our neighbours--most certainly there is nothing which so entirely runs counter to it, and makes it impossible, as an undisciplined temper. For of all things that are to be met with here on earth, there is nothing which can give such continual, such cutting, such useless pain. The touchy and sensitive temper, which takes offence at a word; the irritable temper, which finds offence in everything whether intended or not; the violent temper, which breaks through all bounds of reason when once roused; the jealous or sullen temper, which wears a cloud on the face all day, and never utters a word of complaint; the discontented temper, brooding over its own wrongs; the severe temper, which always looks at the worst side of whatever is done; the wilful temper, which over-rides every scruple to gratify a whim,--what an amount of pain have these caused in the hearts of men, if we could but sum up their results!

How many a soul have they stirred to evil impulses; how many a prayer have they stifled; how many an emotion of true affection have they turned to bitterness! How hard they sometimes make all duties! How painful they make all daily life! How they kill the sweetest and warmest of domestic charities! The misery caused by other sins is often much deeper and much keener, more disastrous, more terrible to the sight; but the acc.u.mulated pain caused by ill-temper must, I verily believe, if added together, outweigh all other pains that men have to bear from one another."

Bishop TEMPLE.

Quarrels

APRIL 16

"Blow not into a flame the spark which is kindled between two friends.

They are easily reconciled, and will both hate you."

From the German.

"Quarrels would not last long if the fault was only on one side."

LA ROCHEFOUCAULD.

"He approaches nearest to the G.o.ds who knows how to be silent even though he knows he is in the right."

CATO.

"When any one has offended me, I try to raise my soul so high that the offence cannot reach it."

DESCARTES.

Quarrels

APRIL 17

"The mind is often clouded by pa.s.sion until it is incapable of clear thought. Harsh words, stinging words, cruel words are usually spoken without thought. Rash deeds which result in most serious consequences are performed without thought. The wrong-doer does not consider beforehand the character of his deed, its effects on himself and others, and its ultimate consequences."

"We shall never be sorry afterwards for thinking twice before we speak, for counting the cost before entering upon any new course, for sleeping over stings and injuries before saying or doing anything in answer, or for carefully considering any business scheme presented to us before putting money or name into it. It will save us from much regret, loss, and sorrow, always to remember to do nothing rashly."

"Do nothing in a hurry. Nature never does. 'Most haste, worst speed,'

says the old proverb. If you are in doubt, sleep over it. But, above all, never quarrel in a hurry. Think it over well. Take time. However vexed you may be overnight, things will often look very different in the morning. If you have written a clever and conclusive, but scathing letter, keep it back till the next day, and it will very often never go at all."

Lord AVEBURY.

Revenge

APRIL 18

"He that studieth revenge keepeth his own wounds green."

BACON.

"Ill-temper and envy and revenge find here an a.r.s.enal of pious disguises; this is the playground of inverted l.u.s.ts. With a little more patience and a little less temper, a gentler and wiser method might be found in almost every case; and the knot that we cut by some fine heady quarrel-scene in private life, or, in public affairs, by some denunciatory act against what we are pleased to call our neighbour's vices, might yet have been unwoven by the hand of sympathy."

_Across the Plains_, R. L. STEVENSON.

"Still in thy right hand carry gentle Peace To silence envious tongues."

SHAKESPEARE.

Touchiness

APRIL 19

"Touchiness, when it becomes chronic, is a morbid condition of the inward disposition. It is self-love inflamed to the acute point."

HENRY DRUMMOND.

"Purge out of every heart the lurking grudge. Give us grace and strength to forbear and to persevere. Offenders, give us the grace to accept and to forgive offences. Forgetful ourselves, help us to bear cheerfully the forgetfulness of others. Give us courage and gaiety and the quiet mind.

Spare to us our friends, soften to us our enemies. Bless us, if it may be, in all our innocent endeavours. If it may not, give us the strength to encounter that which is to come, that we be brave in peril, constant in tribulation, temperate in wrath, and in all changes of fortune, and down to the gates of death, loyal and loving one to another. As the clay to the potter, as the windmill to the wind--as children of their sire, we beseech of Thee this help and mercy for Christ's sake."

_Vailima Prayers_, R. L. STEVENSON.

Unbalanced Memory

APRIL 20

"It is so easy to forget a kindness, and to remember a kick. Yet controlling our recollections is almost as important as controlling our temper. We are apt to forget completely a hundred little kindnesses and courtesies which one has shown us, and to remember a single careless slight or thoughtless word. Often we hear it said of some wrong or foolish deed, 'I have never thought so well of that man since then; it was there he showed his real character,'--as if a man's real character appeared more in one separate deed to which, perhaps, he was sorely tempted, than in the striving and overcoming of many days and years."

"Our thoughts are often worse than we are, just as they are often better than we are. And G.o.d sees us as we are altogether, not in separate feelings or actions, as our fellow-men see us. We are always doing each other injustice, and thinking better or worse of each other than we deserve, because we only hear and see separate words and actions. We don't see each other's whole nature."

GEORGE ELIOT.