The Astonishing History of Troy Town Part 23

"To be sure; trust a sailor to catch the pretty girls--eh?"

The Admiral chuckled feebly.

"But these women--"

"Ah! yes; these women--"

"Bachelor life was pleasant--eh, Admiral?"

"Ah!"

The two men looked at each other. A smile spread over either countenance. I regret to say the Admiral winked, and then chuckled again.

"Admiral, you must get up."

The Admiral stared interrogatively; his visitor pursued, with some inconsequence--"By the way, is there a club here?"

"There's the 'Jolly Trojans' down at the 'Man-o'-War'; they meet on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and--"

"Low lot, I suppose?"

"Well, yes," admitted the Admiral; "a certain amount of good fellows.h.i.+p prevails, I understand; but low, of course--distinctly low."

The Honourable Frederic tapped his boot reflectively with his malacca.

"Admiral," he said at last, "you ought to found a Club here."

"Bless my heart! I never thought of it."

"It is your duty."

"You think so?"

"Sure of it."

"I will get up," said the Admiral decisively. He started out of bed, and looked around for his clothes.

"Nice place, the country," pursued the Honourable Frederic thoughtfully; "fresh eggs, and gra.s.s to clean your pipe with--but apt to be dull. Now, a pleasant little society; cards, billiards, and social _reunions_--select, of course--"

"Of course. Do you happen to be sitting on my trousers?"

"Eh? No, I believe--no. Let me see--limited loo and a modest pool of an evening. Hullo! what's the matter?"

The Admiral had rushed to the door.

"Emily!" he bawled down the stairs.

"Well, I'll be going. Can't find your trousers? Admiral, it's the last straw. But we'll be revenged, Admiral. We'll found a Club; and, by George, sir, we'll call it 'The Inexpressibles'! Ta-ta for the present," and Mr. Goodwyn-Sandys retired.

But what was being discussed below when the Admiral's voice disturbed his wife? Alas! you shall hear.

"These men," Mrs. Goodwyn-Sandys was saying, "are all alike. But, my dear, why not disregard his absurd humours? I have revolted from Frederic long ago."

"You don't say so!"

"It is a fact. Take my advice and do the same. It needs courage at first, but they are all cowards--oh, such cowards, my dear!

Revolt. Cry 'Havoc!' and let slip--"

"My dear, I should faint."

"Oh, poor soul! Reflect! How pretty the domestic virtues are, but how impossible! Besides, how unfas.h.i.+onable!"

Mrs. Buzza reflected.

"I will!" she exclaimed at last. Just then her husband's voice detonated in the room above. She arose, trembling like a leaf.

"Be firm," said her adviser.

"I will."

"Sit down again. It will do him no harm to wait."

Mrs. Buzza obeyed, still trembling.

It was at this moment that the Honourable Frederic re-entered the room, and looked around with a slow smile.

"Nellie," he observed, when they were outside the house, "you're a vastly clever woman, my love."

"How's the Admiral?" was the reply.

"He nibbles, my angel; he bites."

"I heard him barkin'. An' how long will Brady be givin' us?"

"Two months, my treasure."

Mrs. Goodwyn-Sandys reflected for a moment, and then made the following extraordinary reply--

"Be aisy, me dear. In six weeks I'll be ready to elope from yez."

What pa.s.sed between the Admiral and Mrs. Buzza when they were left together was never fully known. But it was quickly whispered that in No. 2, Alma Villas, the worm had turned. Oddly enough, the spread of conjugal estrangement did not end here. It began to be rumoured that Lawyer Pellow and his wife had "differences "; that Mr. and Mrs.

Simpson dined at different hours; and that the elder Miss Strip had broken off a very suitable match with a young s.h.i.+p's chandler, on the ground that s.h.i.+p's candles were not "genteel." It was about this time, too, that Mrs. Wapshot, at the confectionery shop, refused to walk with Mr. Wapshot on the Rope-walk after Sunday evening service, because domestic bliss was "horrid vulgar"; and Mrs.

Goodwyn-Sandys' dictum that "one admirer, at least, was no more than a married woman's due," only failed of acceptance because the supply of admirers in Troy fell short of the demand. She had herself annexed Samuel Buzza and Mr. Moggridge.

Meanwhile the Admiral was not idle; and had anything been needed to whet his desire for a Club, it would have been found in a dreadful event that happened shortly afterwards.

It was May-morning, and the Admiral was planted in the suns.h.i.+ne outside No. 2, Alma Villas, loudly discussing the question of the hour with Mr. Goodwyn-Sandys, Lawyer Pellow, and the little Doctor.