A Prisoner in Fairyland - LightNovelsOnl.com
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But I'm sure these pictures flame up through the mind sometimes just as clearly as some folk see Grey Ladies and the rest flit down the stairs at midnight.'
They munched their walnuts a moment in silence. Rogers listened very keenly. How curious, he reflected, that the talk should lie this way.
But he said nothing, hoping that the other would go on.
'And if you really believed in your things,' the older man continued presently, 'as I am sure you did believe, then your old Dustman and Sweep and Lamplighter, your Woman of the Haystack and your Net of Stars and Star Train--all these, for instance, must still be living, where you left them, waiting perhaps for your return to lead their fresh adventures.'
Rogers stared at him, choking a little over a nut he had swallowed too hurriedly.
'Yet,' mused on the other, 'it's hardly likely the family that succeeded you met them. There were no children!'
'Ah,' exclaimed the pupil impulsively, 'that's significant, yes--no children.' He looked up quickly, questioningly.
'Very, I admit.'
'Besides, the chief Magician had gone away into the City. They wouldn't answer to anybody's call, you know.'
'True again. But the Magician never forgot them quite, I'll be bound,'
he added. 'They're only in hiding till his return, perhaps!' And his bright eyes twinkled knowingly.
'But, Vicar, really, you know, that is an extraordinary idea you have there-a wonderful idea. Do you really think--?'
'I only mean,' the other replied more gravely, 'that what a man thinks, and makes with thinking, is the real thing. It's in the heart that sin is first real. The act is the least important end of it-- grave only because it is the inevitable result of the thinking. Action is merely delayed thinking, after all. Don't think ghosts and bogeys, I always say to children, or you'll surely see them.'
'Ah, in _that_ sense--!'
'In any sense your mind and intuition can grasp. The thought that leaves your brain, provided it be a real thought strongly fas.h.i.+oned, goes all over the world, and may reach any other brain tuned to its acceptance. _You_ should understand that!' he laughed significantly.
'I do,' said Rogers hastily, as though he felt ashamed of himself or were acknowledging a fault in his construing of Homer. 'I understand it perfectly. Only I put all those things--imaginative things--aside when I went into business. I had to concentrate my energies upon making money.'
'You did, yes. Ah!' was the rejoinder, as though he would fain have added, 'And was that wise?'
'And I made it, Vicar; you see, I've made it.' He was not exactly nettled, but he wanted a word of recognition for his success. 'But you know why, don't you?' he added, ashamed the same moment. There was a pause, during which both looked closely at their broken nuts. From one of the men came a sigh.
'Yes,' resumed the older man presently, 'I remember your great dream perfectly well, and a n.o.ble one it was too. Its fulfilment now, I suppose, lies well within your reach? You have the means to carry it out, eh? You have indeed been truly blessed.' He eyed him again with uncommon keenness, though a smile ran from the eyes and mouth even up to the forehead and silvery hair. 'The world, I see, has not yet poisoned you. To carry it out as you once explained it to me would be indeed success. If I remember rightly,' he added, 'it was a--er--a Scheme for Disabled--'
Rogers interrupted him quickly. 'And I am full of the same big dream still,' he repeated almost shyly. 'The money I have made I regard as lent to me for investment. I wish to use it, to give it away as one gives flowers. I feel sure--'
He stopped abruptly, caught by the glow of enthusiasm that had leaped into the other's face with a strangely beautiful expression.
'You never did anything by halves, I remember,' the Vicar said, looking at him proudly. 'You were always in earnest, even in your play, and I don't mind telling you that I've often prayed for something of that zeal of yours--that zeal for others. It's a remarkable gift. You will never bury it, will you?' He spoke eagerly, pa.s.sionately, leaning forward a little across the table. 'Few have it nowadays; it grows rarer with the luxury and self-seeking of the age.
It struck me so in you as a boy, that even your sprites worked not for themselves but for others--your Dustman, your Sweep, your absurd Lamplighter, all were busy doing wonderful things to help their neighbours, all, too, without reward.'
Rogers flushed like a boy. But he felt the thrill of his dream course through him like great fires. Wherein was any single thing in the world worth doing, any object of life worth following, unless as means to an end, and that end helping some one else. One's own little personal dreams became exhausted in a few years, endeavours for self smothered beneath the rain of disappointments; but others, and work for others, this was endless and inexhaustible.
'I've sometimes thought,' he heard the older man going on, 'that in the dusk I saw'--his voice lowered and he glanced towards the windows where the rose trees stood like little figures, cloaked and bonneted with beauty beneath the stars--'that I saw your Dustman scattering his golden powder as he came softly up the path, and that some of it reached my own eyes, too; or that your swift Lamplighter lent me a moment his gold-tipped rod of office so that I might light fires of hope in suffering hearts here in this tiny world of my own parish.
Your dreadful Head Gardener, too! And your Song of the Blue-Eyes Fairy,' he added slyly, almost mischievously, 'you remember that, I wonder?'
'H'm--a little, yes--something,' replied Rogers confusedly. 'It was a dreadful doggerel. But I've got a secretary now,' he continued hurriedly and in rather a louder voice,' a fellow named Minks, a jewel really of a secretary he is--and he, I believe, can write real--'
'It was charming enough for us all to have remembered it, anyhow,' the Vicar stopped him, smiling at his blushes,' and for May--or was it Joan? dear me, how I do forget names!--to have set it to music. She had a little gift that way, you may remember; and, before she took up teaching she wrote one or two little things like that.'
'Ah, did she really?' murmured the other. He scarcely knew what he was saying, for a mist of blue had risen before his eyes, and in it he was seeing pictures. 'The Spell of Blue, wasn't it, or something like that?' he said a moment later, 'blue, the colour of beauty in flowers, sea, sky, distance--the childhood colour par excellence?'
'But chiefly in the eyes of children, yes,' the Vicar helped him, rising at the same time from the table. 'It was the spell, the pa.s.sport, the open sesame to most of your adventures. Come now, if you won't have another gla.s.s of port, and we'll go into the drawing-room, and Joan, May I mean--no, Joan, of course, shall sing it to you. For this is a very special occasion for us, you know,' he added as they pa.s.sed across the threshold side by side. 'To see you is to go back with you to Fairyland.'
The piano was being idly strummed as they went in, and the player was easily persuaded to sing the little song. It floated through the open windows and across the lawn as the two men in their corners listened.
She knew it by heart, as though she often played it. The candles were not lit. Dusk caught the sound and muted it enchantingly. And somehow the simple melody helped to conceal the meagreness of the childish words. Everywhere, from sky and lawn and solemn trees, the Past came softly in and listened too.
There's a Fairy that hides in the beautiful eyes Of children who treat her well; In the little round hole where the eyeball lies She weaves her magical spell.
Oh, tell it to me, Oh, how can it be, This Spell of the Blue-Eyes Fairy.
Well,--the eyes must be blue, And the heart must be true, And the child must be _better_ than gold; And then, if you'll let her, The quicker the better, She'll make you forget that you're old, That you're heavy and stupid, and--old!
So, if such a child you should chance to see, Or with such a child to play, No matter how weary and dull you be, Nor how many tons you weigh; You will suddenly find that you're young again, And your movements are light and airy, And you'll try to be solemn and stiff in vain-- It's the Spell of the Blue-Eyes Fairy!
Now I've told it to you, And you _know_ it is true-- It's the Spell of the Blue-Eyes Fairy!
'And it's the same spell,' said the old man in his corner as the last notes died away, and they sat on some minutes longer in the fragrant darkness, 'that you cast about us as a boy, Henry Rogers, when you made that wonderful Net of Stars and fastened it with your comets'
nails to the big and little cedars. The one catches your heart, you see, while the other gets your feet and head and arms till you're a hopeless prisoner--a prisoner in Fairyland.'
'Only the world to-day no longer believes in Fairyland,' was the reply, 'and even the children have become scientific. Perhaps it's only buried though. The two ought to run in harness really--opposite interpretations of the universe. One might revive it--here and there perhaps. Without it, all the tenderness seems leaking out of life--'
Joan presently said good-night, but the other two waited on a little longer; and before going to bed they took a turn outside among the flower-beds and fruit-trees that formed the tangled Vicarage garden at the back. It was uncommonly warm for a night in early spring. The lilacs were in bud, and the air most exquisitely scented.
Rogers felt himself swept back wonderfully among his early years. It seemed almost naughty to be out at such an hour instead of asleep in bed. It was quite ridiculous--but he loved the feeling and let himself go with happy willingness. The story of 'Vice Versa,' where a man really became a boy again, pa.s.sed through his mind and made him laugh.
And the old Vicar kept on feeding the semi-serious mood with what seemed almost intentional sly digs. Yet the digs were not intentional, really; it was merely that his listener, already prepared by his experience with the Starlight Express, read into them these searching meanings of his own. Something in him was deeply moved.
'You might make a great teacher, you know,' suggested his companion, stooping to sniff a lilac branch as they paused a moment. 'I thought so years ago; I think so still. You've kept yourself so simple.'
'How not to do most things,' laughed the other, glad of the darkness.
'How to do the big and simple things,' was the rejoinder; 'and do them well, without applause. You have Belief.'
'Too much, perhaps. I simply can't get rid of it.'
'Don't try to. It's belief that moves the world; people want teachers --that's my experience in the pulpit and the parish; a world in miniature, after all--but they won't listen to a teacher who hasn't got it. There are no great poets to-day, only great discoverers. The poets, the interpreters of discovery, are gone--starved out of life by ridicule, and by questions to which exact answers are impossible. With your imagination and belief you might help a world far larger than this parish of mine at any rate. I envy you.'
Goodness! how the kind eyes searched his own in this darkness. Though little susceptible to flattery, he was aware of something huge the words stirred in the depths of him, something far bigger than he yet had dreamed of even in his boyhood, something that made his cherished Scheme seem a little pale and faded.
'Take the whole world with you into fairyland,' he heard the low voice come murmuring in his ear across the lilacs. And there was starlight in it--that gentle, steady brilliance that steals into people while they sleep and dream, tracing patterns of glory they may recognise when they wake, yet marvelling whence it came. 'The world wants its fairyland back again, and won't be happy till it gets it.'
A bird listening to them in the stillness sang a little burst of song, then paused again to listen.
'Once give them of your magic, and each may shape his fairyland as he chooses...' the musical voice ran on.
The flowers seemed alive and walking. This was a voice of beauty. Some lilac bud was singing in its sleep. Sirius had dropped a ray across its lips of blue and coaxed it out to dance. There was a murmur and a stir among the fruit-trees too. The apple blossoms painted the darkness with their tiny fluttering dresses, while old Aldebaran trimmed them silently with gold, and partners from the Milky Way swept rustling down to lead the violets out. Oh, there was revelry to-night, and the fairy spell of the blue-eyed Spring was irresistible....