The History of Don Quixote de la Mancha Part 27

"When I expected to have had an account of thy carelessness and blunders, friend Sancho, I was agreeably disappointed with news of thy wise behaviour; for which I return thanks to Heaven, that can raise the lowest from their poverty, and turn the fool into a man of sense.

I hear thou governest with all discretion; and that, nevertheless, thou retainest the humility of the meanest creature. But I desire thee to observe, Sancho, that it is many times very necessary and convenient to thwart the humility of the heart, for the better support of authority. For the ornament of a person that is advanced to an eminent post must be answerable to its greatness, and not debased to the inclination of his former meanness. Let thy apparel be neat and handsome; even a stake, well dressed, does not look like a stake. I would not have thee wear foppish gaudy things, nor affect the garb of a soldier in the circ.u.mstances of a magistrate; but let thy dress be suitable to thy degree, and always clean and comely.

"To gain the hearts of thy people, I chiefly recommend two things: one is, to be affable, courteous, and fair to all the world; the other, to take care that plenty of provisions be never wanting,--for nothing afflicts or irritates more the spirit of the poor than scarcity and hunger.

"Do not put out many new orders; and if thou dost put out any, see that they be wholesome and good, and that they be strictly observed; for laws not well obeyed are no better than if they were not made, and only shew that the prince who had the wisdom and authority to make them had not the resolution to see them executed; and laws that only threaten, and are not kept, become like the log that was given to the frogs to be their king, which they feared at first, but at last scorned and trampled on.

"Be a father to virtue, but a father-in-law to vice. Be not always severe, nor always merciful; choose a mean between these two extremes; for that middle point is the centre of discretion.

"Visit the prisons, the shambles, and the public markets; for the governor's presence is highly necessary in such places.

"Be a terror to the butchers, that they may be fair in their weights; and keep hucksters and fraudulent dealers in awe, for the same reason.

"Write to thy lord and lady, and shew thyself grateful; for ingrat.i.tude is the offspring of pride, and one of the worst corruptions of the mind; whereas he that is thankful to his benefactors gives a testimony that he will be so to G.o.d, who has done, and continually does him, so much good.

"My lady d.u.c.h.ess despatched a messenger on purpose to thy wife Teresa, with thy hunting suit, and another present. We expect his return every moment.

"I have been somewhat out of order by a certain encounter I had lately, not much to the advantage of my nose; but all that is nothing; for if there are necromancers that misuse me, there are others ready to defend me.

"Send me word whether the steward that is with thee had any hand in the business of the Countess Trifaldi, as thou wert once of opinion; and let me also have an account of whatever befalls thee, since the distance between us is so small. I have thoughts of leaving this idle life ere long; for I was not born for luxury and ease.

"A business has offered, that I believe will make me lose the duke and d.u.c.h.ess's favour; but though I am heartily sorry for it, that does not alter my resolution; for, after all, I owe more to my profession than to complaisance; and, as the saying is, _Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas_. I send thee this sc.r.a.p of Latin, flattering myself that since thou camest to be a governor, thou mayest have learned something of that language. Farewell, and Heaven keep thee above the pity of the world.

"Thy friend,

"DON QUIXOTE DE LA MANCHA."

Sancho gave great attention to the letter; and it was highly applauded, both for sense and integrity, by every body that heard it.

After that, he rose from table, and calling the secretary, went without any further delay, and locked himself up with him in his chamber, to write an answer to his master Don Quixote, which was as follows:

_Sancho Panza to Don Quixote de la Mancha._

"I am so taken up with business, that I have not yet had time to let you know whether it goes well or ill with me in this same government, where I am more hunger-starved than when you and I wandered through woods and wildernesses.

"My lord duke wrote to me the other day, to inform me of some spies that were got into this island to kill me; but as yet I have discovered none, but a certain doctor, hired by the islanders to kill all the governors that come near it. They call him Dr. Pedro Rezio de Anguero, and he was born at Tirteafuera. His name is enough to make me fear he will be the death of me. This same doctor says of himself, that he does cure diseases when you have them; but when you have them not, he only pretends to keep them from coming. The physic he uses, is fasting upon fasting, till he turns a body to a mere skeleton; as if to be wasted to skin and bones were not as bad as a fever. In short, he starves me to death; so that, when I thought, as being a governor, to have plenty of good hot victuals and cool liquor, and to repose on a soft feather-bed, I am come to do penance like a hermit.

"I have not yet so much as fingered the least penny of money, either for fees or any thing else; and how it comes to be no better with me I cannot imagine, for I have heard that the governors who come to this island are wont to have a very good gift, or at least a very round sum given them by the town before they enter. And they say too that this is the usual custom, not only here, but in other places.

"Last night, in going my rounds, I met with a mighty handsome damsel in boy's clothes, and a brother of hers in woman's apparel. My gentleman-waiter fell in love with the girl, and intends to make her his wife, as he says. As for the youth, I have pitched on him to be my son-in-law. To-day we both design to talk to the father, one Diego de la Llana, who is a gentleman, and an old Christian every inch of him.

"I visit the markets as you advised me, and yesterday found one of the hucksters selling hazel-nuts. She pretended they were all new; but I found she had mixed a whole bushel of old, empty, rotten nuts among the same quant.i.ty of new. With that, I adjudged them to be given to the hospital boys, who know how to pick the good from the bad, and gave sentence against her that she should not come into the market for fifteen days; and people said I did well.

"I am mighty well pleased that my lady d.u.c.h.ess has written to my wife Teresa Panza, and sent her the token you mention. It shall go hard but I will requite her kindness one time or other. Pray give my service to her; and tell her from me, she has not cast her gift in a broken sack, as something more than words shall shew.

"If I might advise you, and had my wish, there should be no falling out between your wors.h.i.+p and my lord and lady; for, if you quarrel with them, it is I must come by the worst for it. And, since you mind me of being grateful, it will not look well in you not to be so to those who have made so much of you at their castle.

"If my wife Teresa Panza writes to me, pray pay the postage, and send me the letter; for I mightily long to hear how it is with her, and my house and children.

"Your wors.h.i.+p's servant,

"SANCHO PANZA, the Governor."

The secretary made up the letter, and immediately despatched it. Then those who carried on the plot against Sancho combined together, and consulted how to release him from the cares of government; and Sancho pa.s.sed that afternoon in making several regulations for the better establishment of that which he imagined to be an island.

In short, he made so many wholesome ordinances, that, to this day, they are observed in that place, and called "The Const.i.tutions of the great Governor Sancho Panza."

CHAPTER Lx.x.xII.

_A relation of the adventures of the second disconsolate or distressed matron, otherwise called Donna Rodriguez; with the letters of Teresa Panza to the d.u.c.h.ess and to her husband._

Don Quixote's wounds being healed, he began to think the life he led in the castle not suitable to the order which he professed; he resolved, therefore, to set off for Saragosa, where, at the approaching tournament, he hoped to win the armour, the usual prize at the festivals of that kind. Accordingly, as he sat at table with the lord and lady of the castle, he began to acquaint them with his design; when behold two women entered the great hall, clad in deep mourning from head to foot. One of them approaching Don Quixote, threw herself at his feet, where, lying prostrate, and in a manner kissing them, she fetched such doleful sighs, and made such lamentations, that all present were not a little surprised. And, though the duke and d.u.c.h.ess imagined it to be some new device of their servants, yet, perceiving with what earnestness the woman sighed and lamented, they were in doubt, and knew not what to think; till the compa.s.sionate champion, raising her from the ground, made her to lift up her veil, and discover, what they least expected, the face of Donna Rodriguez, the duenna of the family; and the other mourner proved to be her daughter, whom the rich farmer's son had deluded. All those that knew them were in great admiration, especially the duke and d.u.c.h.ess; for, though they knew her simplicity, they did not believe her so far gone in folly. At last, the sorrowful matron, addressing herself to the duke and d.u.c.h.ess, "May it please your graces," said she, "to permit me to direct my discourse to this knight; for it concerns me to get out of an unhappy business, into which the impudence of a treacherous villain has brought us." With that the duke gave her leave to speak; then, applying herself to Don Quixote, "It is not long," said she, "valorous knight, since I gave your wors.h.i.+p an account how basely a young graceless farmer had used my dear child, and you then promised me to stand up for her, and see her righted; and now I understand you are about to leave this castle, in quest of the adventures Heaven shall send you. And therefore, before you are gone n.o.body knows whither, I have this boon to beg of your wors.h.i.+p, that you would do so much as challenge this st.u.r.dy clown, and make him marry my daughter, according to his promise." "Worthy matron," answered Don Quixote, with a great deal of gravity and solemn form, "moderate your tears, or, to speak more properly, dry them up, and spare your sighs; for I take upon me to see your daughter's wrongs redressed. Therefore, with my lord duke's permission, I will instantly depart to find out this ungracious wretch; and, as soon as he is found, I will challenge him, and kill him, if he persists in his obstinacy; for the chief end of my profession is, to pardon the submissive, and to chastise the stubborn; to relieve the miserable, and destroy the cruel." "Sir knight," said the duke, "you need not give yourself the trouble of seeking the fellow of whom that good matron complains; for I already engage that he shall meet you in person to answer it here in this castle, where lists shall be set up for you both, observing all the laws of arms that ought to be kept in affairs of this kind, and doing each party justice, as all princes ought to do that admit of single combats within their territories." "Upon that a.s.surance," said Don Quixote, "with your grace's leave, I, for this time, wave my punctilio of gentility; and, debasing myself to the meanness of the offender, qualify him to measure lances with me." With that, pulling off his glove, he flung it down into the middle of the hall, and the duke took it up, declaring, as he already had done, that he accepted the challenge in the name of his va.s.sal; fixing the time for combat to be six days after, and the place to be the castle-court; the arms to be such as are usual among knights, as lance, s.h.i.+eld, armour of proof, and all other pieces, without fraud, advantage, or enchantment, after search made by the judges of the field.

"But," added the duke, "it is requisite that this matron and her daughter commit the justice of their cause into the hands of their champion; for otherwise there will be nothing done, and the challenge is void." "I do," answered the matron. "And so do I," added the daughter, all ashamed, and in a crying tone. The preliminaries being adjusted, and the duke having resolved with himself what to do in the matter, the pet.i.tioners went away, and the d.u.c.h.ess ordered they should no longer be looked on as her domestics, but as ladies-errant, that came to demand justice in her castle; and, accordingly, there was a peculiar apartment appointed for them, where they were served as strangers, to the amazement of the other servants, who could not imagine what would be the end of Donna Rodriguez and her forsaken daughter's undertaking.

Presently in came the page that had carried the letters and the presents to Teresa Panza. The duke and d.u.c.h.ess were overjoyed to see him returned, having a great desire to know the success of his journey. They inquired of him accordingly; but he told them that the account he had to give them could not well be delivered in public, nor in few words; and therefore begged their graces would be pleased to take it in private, and, in the meantime, entertain themselves with those letters. With that, taking out two, he delivered them to her grace. The superscription of the one was, "These for my Lady d.u.c.h.ess, of I do not know what place;" and the direction on the other, thus, "To my husband Sancho Panza, Governor of the Island of Barataria."

The d.u.c.h.ess having opened her letter, read it aloud, that the whole company might hear what follows:

"MY LADY,

"The letter your honour sent me pleased me hugeously; for, troth, it is what I heartily longed for. The string of coral is a good thing, and my husband's hunting suit may come up to it. All our town takes it mighty kindly, and is very glad that your honour has made my spouse a governor, though n.o.body will believe it, especially our curate, Master Nicholas the barber, and Sampson Carrasco the bachelor. But what care I whether they do or no? So it be true, as it is, let every one have their saying. Though (it is a folly to lie) I had not believed it neither, but for the coral and the suit; for every body here takes my husband to be a dolt, and cannot for the life of them imagine what he can be fit to govern, unless it be a herd of goats. Well, Heaven be his guide, and speed him as he sees best for his children. As for me, my dear lady, I am resolved, with your good liking, to make hay while the sun s.h.i.+nes, and go to court, to loll it along in a coach, and make my neighbours, that envy me already, stare their eyes out. And, therefore, good your honour, pray bid my husband send me store of money, for I believe it is dear living at court; one can have but little bread there for sixpence, and a pound of flesh is worth thirty maravedis, which would make one stand amazed. And if he is not for my coming, let him send me word in time; for my gossips tell me, that if I and my daughter go about the court as we should, spruce and fine, my husband will be better known by me, than I by him; for many cannot choose but ask, What ladies are these in the coach? With that one of my servants answers, 'The wife and daughter of Sancho Panza, governor of the island of Barataria;' and thus shall my husband be known, and I honoured, far and near.

"You cannot think how I am troubled that we have gathered no acorns hereaway this year; however, I send your highness about half-a-peck, which I have culled one by one: I went to the mountains on purpose, and got the biggest I could find. I wish they had been as big as ostrich-eggs.

"Pray let not your mightiness forget to write to me, and I will be sure to send you an answer, and let you know how I do, and send you all the news in our village. My daughter Sanchica, and my son, kiss your wors.h.i.+p's hands.

"Your servant,

"TERESA PANZA."

This letter was very entertaining to all the company, especially to the duke and d.u.c.h.ess; insomuch that her grace asked Don Quixote whether it would be amiss to open the governor's letter, which she imagined was a very good one? The knight told her that, to satisfy her curiosity, he would open it; which being done, he found what follows:

"I received thy letter, dear Sancho; and I vow and swear to thee, as I am a Catholic Christian, I was within two fingers' breadth of running mad for joy. When I heard thou wert made a governor, I was so transported, I had like to have fallen down dead with mere gladness; for thou knowest sudden joy is said to kill as soon as great sorrow. I had the suit thou sentest me before my eyes, and the lady d.u.c.h.ess's corals about my neck,--held the letter in my hands, and had him that brought them standing by me; and for all that, I thought what I saw and felt was but a dream. For who could have thought a goatherd should ever come to be governor of islands? But what said my mother, 'Who a great deal must see, a great while must live.' My lady d.u.c.h.ess will tell thee how I long to go to court. Pray think of it, and let me know thy mind; for I mean to credit thee there, by going in a coach.

"Neither the curate, the barber, the bachelor, nor the s.e.xton, will believe thou art a governor; but say it is all juggling or enchantment, as all thy master Don Quixote's concerns used to be; and Sampson threatens to find thee out, and put this maggot of a government out of thy pate, and Don Quixote's madness out of his c.o.xcomb. For my part, I do but laugh at them, and look upon my string of coral, and contrive how to fit up the suit thou sentest me into a gown for thy daughter.

"The news here is, that Berrueca has married her daughter to a sorry painter, that came hither pretending to paint any thing. The towns.h.i.+p set him to paint the king's arms over the townhall; he asked them two ducats for the job, which they paid him: so he fell to work, and was eight days a-daubing, but could make nothing of it at last, and said he could not hit upon such puddling kind of work, and so gave them their money again. Yet for all this he married with the name of a good workman. The truth is, he has left his pencil upon it, and taken the spade, and goes to the field like a gentleman. Sanchica makes bone-lace, and gets her three halfpence a-day clear, which she saves in a box with a slit, to go towards buying household stuff. But now she is a governor's daughter, she has no need to work, for thou wilt give her a portion. The fountain in the market is dried up. A thunderbolt lately fell upon the pillory: there may they all light! I expect thy answer to this, and thy resolution concerning my going to court.

"Thy wife,