Dolly Reforming Herself - LightNovelsOnl.com
You're reading novel online at LightNovelsOnl.com. Please use the follow button to get notifications about your favorite novels and its latest chapters so you can come back anytime and won't miss anything.
CRIDDLE _enters triumphantly with the hospital box which is very mouldy and dusty--he has also duster in his hand._
_Criddle._ I've found him, sir--
_Matt._ Rather mouldy, eh?
_Criddle._ Oh, we'll soon put that to rights, sir.
[_Begins to dust the box carefully._
_Matt._ Looks well for your household discipline here, Harry.
_Harry._ How?
_Matt._ You've had no occasion to use him lately.
_Criddle._ [_Displaying the box, having carefully dusted it._] There he is, sir, Hospital for Incurables! Nearly as good as new.
_Matt._ Where did you find him?
_Criddle._ In the wine-cellar, of all places! I was getting out a bottle of the sixty-eight port for New Year's night, and happening to put my hand behind, there he was!
_Harry._ [_Has a sudden gesture of remembrance._] Yes, I remember!
_Matt._ What should incurables be doing in the wine-cellar? [_Holds out his hand to_ CRIDDLE _for the box._ CRIDDLE, _who has been holding it carefully, gives it to_ MATT. _Exit_ CRIDDLE. MATT _gives the box a shake. It rattles as if half full of coins. He shakes it again, more violently; it rattles again._] Internal organs sound healthy. How did he get into the wine-cellar, Harry?
_Harry._ Well, Dolly and I had been having a little tiff one morning--nothing serious----
_Matt._ No. When was that?
_Harry._ March, wasn't it?
_Dolly._ May, I think----
_Harry._ No, it wasn't that one--Well, never mind, I got so riled at Dolly always poking this box in front of me whenever I happened to--so I thought the wine-cellar would be the safest place for it.
_Matt._ [_Gives it another rattle._] Well, here he is, turned up just at the right moment! And here you all are, Dolly, Harry, Lucas, Mrs.
Sturgess--all clamouring for me to redeem my promise and put in a sovereign for each of you.
CRIDDLE _appears at door announcing_ MR. PILCHER. PILCHER _enters with four oblong brown paper parcels of equal size. Exit_ CRIDDLE.
_Pilcher._ Happy New Year to you all! Excuse me. [_Depositing his parcels._] My New Year's gifts to a few of my paris.h.i.+oners!
_Dolly._ New Year's gifts!
_Pilcher._ To those who need them. [_Shaking hands with her._] Happy New Year, Mr. Barron!
[_Shaking hands._
_Matt._ Happy New Year!
_Pilcher._ How do this morning, Telfer! [HARRY _nods._] My dear Mrs.
Sturgess! [_Shaking hands._
_Renie._ Happy New Year! What a lovely sermon you gave us again last night!
_Pilcher._ Lovely! Well, say healthy, bracing.
_Harry._ A jolly good rouser again. Made me feel--well----
[_Gives himself a shake._
_Pilcher._ Ah, Captain Wentworth, happy New Year!
_Lucas._ [_Shaking hands._] Happy New Year!
_Pilcher._ I heard you were wounded----
_Lucas._ Oh, that's done with.
_Matt._ We were just talking about our New Year's inquest----
_Pilcher._ Inquest?!
_Matt._ Into the characters of Dolly and Harry and----
[_Glancing at_ RENIE _and_ LUCAS.
_Dolly._ Oh, please don't talk about inquests. n.o.body's character is dead here.
_Matt._ I hope not! We shall see----
_Lucas._ Uncle, you don't really mean----
_Matt._ It was a bona fide bargain on my side, but if you wish to avoid any awkward little exposures, or if Mr. Pilcher will kindly waive his claims to my contributions----
_Pilcher._ I'm afraid I can't. I have come here for the express purpose of bearing away my trophy--Ah! [_Seeing box on table, takes it, gives it a shake; his features a.s.sume a pleasant smile._] It seems to have proved a very wholesome household regulator.
_Harry._ Yes, by Jove! It hadn't been in the house twenty-four hours before I put in a sovereign.
_Pilcher._ A sovereign?
_Harry._ The first night of last year Dolly and I had a little tiff--nothing serious--and so the next morning I made it up and--didn't I, Dolly?----
_Dolly._ You did! And paid my bills like a lamb, you dear!
_Pilcher._ And put in a sovereign? [_Rattles the box again._] I won't say "Don't have any more household tiffs," but I will say "Don't omit to liquidate them." [_Gives the box another rattle._] The box must have been in pretty constant use since----
_Harry._ Ye-es.
