The Way of Ambition - LightNovelsOnl.com
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"Women? Men?"
"Men."
"Sennier?"
She shook her head.
"Max Elliot?"
"No. One is--Alston Lake."
"Alston? But why isn't he up here, then?"
"He has brought someone with him."
"Whom?"
"Jacob Crayford."
"Crayford here? What has he come here for?"
"He's taking a holiday motoring."
"But to come to Algiers in summer!"
"He goes everywhere, and can't choose his season. He's far too busy."
"To be sure. Has he been to see you?"
"Yes; he dined here yesterday and stayed till past midnight. He wants to see you. I meant to telegraph to you almost directly."
"Wants to see me?"
"Yes. Claude, last night I read the libretto of the opera to him and Alston."
He was silent. It was dark in the court. She could not see his face clearly enough to know whether he was pleased or displeased.
"Do you mind?"
"Why should I?"
"I think you sound as if you minded."
"Well? What did Crayford think of it?"
"He said, 'It's the best libretto since _Carmen_.'"
"It is a good libretto."
"He was enthusiastic. Claude"--she put her hand on his arm--"he wants to hear your music."
"Has he said so?"
"Not exactly; not in so many words; but he seemed very much put out when he found you weren't here. And, after he had heard the libretto, he suggested my telegraphing to you to come straight back."
"Funny I should have come without your telegraphing."
"It almost seems--" She paused.
"What?"
"As if you had been led to come back of your own accord, as if you had felt you ought to be here."
"Are you glad?" he said.
"Yes, now."
"Did you mean--"
"Claude," she said, taking a resolution, "I don't think it would be wise for us to seem too eager about the opera with Mr. Crayford."
"But I have never even thought--"
"No, no. But now he's here, and thinks so much of the libretto, and wants to see you, it would be absurd of us to pretend that he could not be of great use to us. I mean, to pretend to ourselves. Of course if he would take it it would be too splendid."
"He never will."
"Why not? Covent Garden took Sennier's opera."
"I'm not a Sennier unfortunately."
"What a pity it is you have not more belief in yourself!" she exclaimed, almost angrily.
She felt at that moment as if his lack of self-confidence might ruin their prospects.
"O Claude," she continued in the same almost angry voice, "do pluck up a little belief in your own talent, otherwise how can--"
She pulled herself up sharply.
"I can't help being angry," she continued. "I believe in you so much, and then you speak like this."
Suddenly she burst into tears. Her depression culminated in this breakdown, which surprised her as much as it astonished Claude.
"My nerves have been on edge all day," she said, or, rather, sobbed. "I don't know why."
But even as she spoke she did know why. The strain of secret ambition was beginning to tell upon her. She was perpetually hiding something, was perpetually waiting, desiring, thinking, "How much longer?" And she had not Susan Fleet's wonderful serenity. And then she could not forget Claude's remark, "I can't keep away from the opera." It ought to have pleased her, perhaps, but it had wounded her.
"I'm a fool!" she said, wiping her eyes. "I'm strung up; not myself."