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"No, daughter, nor can I; he was most kind, patient, forbearing, loving, as husband, father, master--in all the relations of life. What a privilege to have been his cherished wife for so many years!"
The sweet voice was very tremulous, and unbidden tears stole over the fair cheeks that had not quite recovered their bloom; for scarce a month had pa.s.sed since the angel of death had come between her beloved and herself.
"Dear mamma, you made him very happy," whispered Elsie, clasping her close with loving caresses.
"Yes, we were as happy together, I believe, as it is possible for any to be in this world of sin and sorrow. I bless G.o.d that he was spared to me so long, and for the blessedness that now is his, and the sure hope that this separation is but for a season."
"Mamma, it is that sweet hope that keeps you from sinking."
"Yes, dearest, that and the sweet love and sympathy of Jesus. My father's and my dear children's love does greatly help me also. Ah how great is the goodness of my heavenly Father in sparing me all these! And keeping me from poverty too; how many a poor widow has the added pang of seeing her children suffering sore privations or scattered among strangers, because she lacks the ability to provide them with food and clothing."
"Mamma, how dreadful!" cried Elsie. "I had never thought of that. How thankful we ought to be that we do not have to be separated from you or from each other. To be sure Edward is going away for a time," she added, with a sigh and a tear, "but it is not to toil for a livelihood or endure privations."
"No, but to avail himself of opportunities for mental culture for which we should be grateful as still another of the many blessings G.o.d has given us. He will be exposed to temptations such as would never a.s.sail him at home: but these he must meet, and if he does so looking to G.o.d for strength, he will overcome and be all the stronger for the conflict.
And we, daughter, must follow him constantly with our prayers. Thank G.o.d that we can do that!"
To Edward himself she spoke in the same strain in a last private talk had with him the night before he went away.
"I know that you have a very strong will of your own, my dear boy," she added, "and are not easily led; and because I believe it to be your earnest desire and purpose to walk in the way of G.o.d's commands, that is a comfort to me."
"You are right in regard to both, mother," he said with emotion: "and oh I could sooner cut off my right hand than do aught to grieve you, and dishonor the memory of--of my sainted father!"
"I believe it, my son, but do not trust in your own strength. 'Be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.'"
"Yes, mother, I know, I feel that otherwise I shall fail; but 'I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.' Mother," he added, turning over the leaves of his Bible (they had been reading together), "in storing my memory with the teachings of this blessed book, you have given me the best possible preparation for meeting the temptations and snares of life."
"Yes," she said, "'Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path;' 'Thy testimonies also are my delight and my counsellors.' Let them ever be yours, my son; in doubt and perplexity go ever to them for direction--not forgetting prayer for the teachings of the Holy Spirit--and you cannot go far astray. Make the Bible your rule of faith and practice, bring everything to the test of Scripture. 'To the law and to the testimony; if they speak not according to this word, it is because there is no light in them.'"
"Mother," he said, "I think I have a pretty clear idea of some of the temptations of college life: doubtless there are always a good many idle, profane, drinking, dissolute fellows among the students, but it does not seem possible that I shall ever find pleasure in the society of such."
"I hope not indeed!" she answered with emphasis. "It would be a sore grief to me. But I hardly fear it; I believe my boy is a Christian and loves purity: loves study too for its own sake. What I most fear for you is that the pride of intellect may lead you to listen to the arguments of sceptics and to examine their works. My son, if you should, you will probably regret it to your dying day. It can do you nothing but harm. If you fill your mind with such things your spiritual foes will take advantage of it to hara.s.s you with doubts and fears. 'Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the unG.o.dly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.' He who would rob you of your faith in G.o.d and His holy word is your greatest enemy. Study the evidences of Christianity and be ever ready to give a reason for the hope that is in you."
"Mother," he said, taking her hand in his, "I will heed your counsels, but it seems to me that having seen Christianity so beautifully exemplified in your life and my father's, I can never doubt its truth and power."
Then after a pause in which tears of mingled joy and sorrow fell freely from her eyes, "Dear mother, you have given me a very liberal allowance.
Can you spare it? I do not know, I have never known the amount of your income."
"I can spare it perfectly well, my son," she answered, with a tender smile, pleased at this proof of his thoughtful love. "It is the sum your father thought best to give you--for we had consulted together about all these matters. I do not wish you to feel stinted, but at the same time would have you avoid waste and extravagance, remembering that they are inconsistent with our Saviour's teachings, and that money is one of the talents for whose use or abuse we must render an account at the last."
CHAPTER VII.
"But O! for the touch of a vanished hand, And the sound of a voice that is still."
--_Tennyson._
It was a chill November day, a day of lowering clouds, wind, rain, sleet and snow.
Arthur Conly coming into the drawing-room at Ion and finding its mistress there alone, remarked as he shook hands with her, "The beginning of winter, Cousin Elsie! It is setting in early. It froze hard last night, and the wind to-day is cutting."
"Yes," she said, "even papa and my two big, hardy boys found a short walk quite sufficient to satisfy them to-day. But you poor doctors can seldom consult your own comfort in regard to facing wind and storm. Take this easy chair beside the fire."
"Thank you, no; I shall find it quite warm enough on the sofa beside you. I am glad to have found you alone, for I want to have a little semi-confidential chat."
She gave him an inquiring look.
"I am a little uneasy about grandpa," he went on: "he seems feeble and has a troublesome cough, and I think should have a warmer climate through the coming winter. I think too, cousin, that such a change would be by no means hurtful to you or your children," he continued, regarding her with a grave, professional air: "you are a trifle thin and pale, and need something to rouse and stimulate you."
"What is it you wish, Arthur?" she asked, with a slight tremble in her voice.
"I should be glad if you would go to Viamede for the winter and take our grandfather with you."
He paused for an answer.
Her face was turned toward a window looking out upon the grounds; her eyes rested with mournful gaze upon a low mound of earth within a little enclosure not many rods away.
Arthur read her thoughts, and laying a gentle hand on hers, said in low compa.s.sionate tones:
"He is not there, cousin, and his spirit will be as near you in your Lily's birthplace, and your own, as here. Is not that home also full of pleasant memories of him?"
She gave a silent a.s.sent.
"And you can take all your other dear ones with you."
"Except Edward."
"Yes, but in his case it will only involve a little delay in receiving letters. Your father and Aunt Rose I am certain will go with you. And our old grandpa--"
"Is a dear old grandpa, and must not suffer anything I can save him from," she interrupted. "Yes, Arthur, I will go, if--if my father approves and will accompany us, of which I have no doubt."
He thanked her warmly. "It may be the saving of grandpa's life," he said.
"He is getting very old, Arthur."
"Yes, past eighty, but with care he may live to be a hundred; he has a naturally vigorous const.i.tution. And how he mellows with age, Elsie! He has become a very lovely Christian, as humble and simple-hearted as a little child."
"Yes," she said turning toward him eyes filled with glad tears, "and he has become very dear to me. I think he loves us all--especially papa--and that we shall have a happy winter together."
"I don't doubt it; in fact, I quite envy you the prospect."
"Oh could you not go with us to stay at least a few weeks? We should all be so very glad to have you."
"Quite impossible," he said, shaking his head rather ruefully. "I'm greatly obliged, and should be delighted to accept your invitation, but it isn't often a busy doctor can venture to take such a holiday."
"I'm very sorry. But you think there is no doubt that grandpa will be willing to go?"
"He'll not hesitate a moment if he hears Uncle Horace is to go. He clings to him now more than to any other earthly creature."