Frivolities Part 22

"In a sort of unconscious soliloquy I heard him murmur:

"'_Mon Dieu! Ces Anglaises!_' Then with a visible shudder, '_Si elle etait ma femme!_'

"'Baron d'Ardigny, if you do not wish me to shake you again you will tell me what I am here for.'

"'Inquire of Philippe.'

"'I will not inquire of Philippe--whoever Philippe may happen to be. I inquire of you. And I intend you to answer my inquiry. I suppose that I am here for something."

"'For a great deal, it seems.' His hand stole towards his neck.

'_Bonne chance! Elle a ca.s.se mon col_.'

"'Answer me.'

"Dear mamma, I shook him up a little.

"'I will answer you! _Par exemple! Quel hercule!_'

"'Then do so.'

"'If you will permit me to stand upon my feet I will answer you at once.'

"'Answer me where you are.'

"But, mademoiselle, I am an officer. It is impossible that an officer can sit upon a table.'

"'Answer--me--at--once!' Dear mamma, I shook him again.

"'_Ah, sacre nom! C'est embetant!_ Will you destroy my clothing? Look into that drawer.'

"I pulled out the drawer. The first thing I saw was a telegram. I took it up.

"'Is this it?'

"'That is it! You have said! Now, perhaps, you will permit me to descend.'

"'I think, Baron, that you had better stay for a moment where you are.'

"I opened the telegram.

"'Detain Conrad G.o.dwin coming by boat from Harwich.'

"'I fancy, M. le Baron, someone has been hoaxing you.'

"'Hoaxing me! What you mean?'

"'It strikes me that if I make public the usage to which you have subjected me, you are a ruined man.'

"'_Une jolie femme! Elle marche!_ And if I make public the treatment which you have accorded to the chief of the police, how is that for you--eh?'

"'Very good. We will leave it so. I will communicate with our amba.s.sador, our amba.s.sador will communicate with your Government, your Government will communicate with you.'

"'Mees Nash, I do not understand.'

"'Baron d'Ardigny, if you call me "Mees Nash" again I shall box your ears. I was married yesterday, and, as I have already told you, I am Mrs. Conrad G.o.dwin.'

"Dear mamma, I think I _should_ have boxed them. He was _so_ provoking. But while we were staring at one another--the little man looked thunderstruck!--the door of the room opened and--Conrad entered.

"'Jennie!' he cried.

"I had intended, when we did meet again, to a.s.sume towards him a dignified deportment, and to treat him with the just resentment which his conduct merited. But before I knew it I found that I was in his arms.

"I believe he kissed me--before the Baron. And I am afraid that we both of us behaved in rather a foolish way. Which is the more strange because, you know, dear mamma, I am a stickler for decorum.

"'Conrad, I thought that you had left your wife for ever?'

"'Jennie, I reached Rotterdam at 9.0 and I left by the train at 9.15, _via_ Zevenbergen, for Antwerp. When I reached Antwerp they told me you were arrested.'

"'I have been arrested. This is the chief of police, who arrested me.

Baron d'Ardigny, this is my husband, Mr. Conrad G.o.dwin.'

"I suspect that the Baron, from his perch upon the table, had been edified by our proceedings.

"When I said this he sprang to the ground.

"'So!--this is Conrad G.o.dwin! Sir, I will pull your nose.'

"Conrad was puzzled.

"'I beg your pardon?'

"'Sir, I tell you are _canaille_, _cochon_--pig! You understand?'

"Conrad turned to me.

"'Is he mad?'

"'Mad!' The Baron went mad at the bare suggestion. 'Mr. Conrad G.o.dwin, I treat you as a gentleman. As a gentleman I tell you I will cut your throat.'

"I think he would have 'gone' for Conrad. But just then the door opened again, and a strange gentleman came in.

"'G.o.dwin!' he cried.

"'Haynes!'

"'You have the key of the safe.'

"'I know it. I wired you that I had.'