Frivolities Part 19

"'This is the best joke I ever heard,' he gasped in the middle of his mirth. 'Do you mean to say that you are starting on your honeymoon?'

"'Yes, I do.'

"'Poor devil of a G.o.dwin! Then there is every prospect of your spending it with me. Never in my wildest dreams did I look forward to such happiness as this. Is there nothing I can offer you in the shape of consolation?'

"'The only consolation you can offer me is to show me to my berth. I am miserable; you know I am! I should have thought that no man, to whatever depths he may have sunk, would have taken advantage of a woman in my situation.'

"By this time my tears were flowing quite profusely. But they made no impression upon him. He recommenced pacing round and round the cabin.

He was large, and it was small. His tramp, tramp, tramping, and the general callousness of his demeanour, agitated me to such an extent that I almost feared that I should become hysterical. Just as I began to think that I could not hold out any longer he went to the door and shouted 'Spooner!'

"I supposed he was shouting for the steward. I congratulated myself that after all he had been touched, and that I was to be shown to a berth at last. I was beginning to dry my tears when a hairy object appeared in the doorway. He was so broad in proportion to his height that I at first thought he was deformed.

"'Come in, Spooner.' The man came in. A more unlikely-looking Spooner I never saw. Really, he reminded me of nothing so much as Quasimodo.

His face was all covered with hair; even his great hands were hairy.

He had a pair of big black eyes, which, added to his other attractions, made him look the perfect picture of ferocity. 'This is my first officer.' Even in my grief I smiled. What could be expected of a crew which had such officers? 'You recollect, Spooner, my telling you about that old sweetheart of mine who broke me?'

"'I do.'

"You know how ba.s.ses seem to produce their voices from their boots.

Mr. Spooner's voice seemed to come from much lower than his boots.

"'You remember my telling you what a jade she was?'

"'I do.'

"'Well, here she is.'

"Mr. Spooner stared at me, as well he might do. For my part I was dumb. Charlie Pearson always had a graceful way of introducing a lady.

"'You remember my telling you about that Baron she jilted me for?'

"'I do.'

"'And how I used to carry a revolver about with me in my breeches pocket so that it might be handy to get a shot at him?' Mr. Spooner nodded his head. 'I used to say that if she married I'd make her a widow within a week. Well, she is married. But it's not to the Baron.

It seems that she sent him to the deuce after me. She's married a man named G.o.dwin. I suppose she thinks she can use her husbands like her sweethearts, so she has given him the slip and left him ash.o.r.e.

Think she's got tired of him, eh? Well, she must be pretty smart at tiring--she only married him to-day. She's starting on her honeymoon.

This is her wedding night, and she's left the man ash.o.r.e.'

"Mr. Spooner listened to this without even so much as blinking an eye.

He stood staring at me like a great stolid bear.

"'Spooner, I've laid awake of nights wondering when she and I would meet again. I've gone half mad racking my brains, thinking what vengeance I would take. I've asked myself over and over again what I'd do to her if ever I got her in my power. Now I've got her. And I ask you what you would do if you were I?'

"'I'd forgive her.'

"'Forgive her!'

"Mr. Pearson drew a long breath. He looked at Mr. Spooner and then he looked at me.

"'That's a wrinkle. Hang me, I will forgive her! I'll treat her with contempt and let her go. What shall I do with these gimcracks? I've kept them as though they were the richest treasures from Ali Baba's cave. Here's a lock of her hair, here's a rose from her bosom, here's a shoe from her foot, here's a bundle of her letters. You know what's in them, because I've read them to you many a time.'

"These were pleasant things for me to hear.

"'Spooner, what shall I do with these?'

"'Burn 'em.'

"'So I will. Here's the lot. Give 'em to the cook, and tell him to use them in the morning to light his galley fire.'

"He thrust the various articles into Mr. Spooner's hands. You may imagine my sensations.

"Then he turned to me.

"'Now, madam, if you wish it, I will show you to your cabin.'

"I was quite unable to speak. I had never supposed it was possible that I could have been so cowed by two mere men. The truth is, that I was in such a pa.s.sion that I really was beside myself. I would have given anything to have been a man to have been able to knock him down.

He showed me to the cabin, and without a word he left me at the door.

When I was inside I clenched my fists and stamped my foot and screamed.

"'My dear child, aren't you well?'

"I looked up. There was an old woman, sitting up in her berth, and looking at me through her spectacles.

"'Stewardess,' she cried. Then to me, 'I wish you'd go and find my husband. My name is Maunders-Griffin. Oh, I am so ill! And tell him that those anti-sea-sick lozenges have not had the least effect. I've eaten them all, and I want some more. Oh!'

"The reaction was so sudden, so extreme, that I was seized with a fit of laughter. It was impossible for me to control myself. I daresay the old woman thought that I was mad. It so exhausted me that I had to drop into a chair to save myself from falling.

"The stewardess advanced.

"'Would madam like a berth?'

"'A berth! No. I--I will go on deck.'

"The atmosphere of the cabin was unbearable; you know what a cabin is at night when it is full of women who are ill. I felt that if I stayed there long I should be ill myself. Besides, under the best conditions, I felt that in the excited state of my brain it would be impossible for me to sleep, so I went on deck.

"It was a glorious night. There was a full moon and cloudless sky. But a stiff breeze was blowing, and one soon became conscious that it bore with it a strong solution of salt spray.

"I paced up and down, trying to calm myself sufficiently to enable me to realise my situation. I suppose that never was a woman more unfortunate. What a wedding night!--that night which is supposed to be the most sacred of a woman's life. To whom was I to turn for advice, with such a captain and such a chief officer? Dear mamma, I am not ashamed to confess that I cried, really and truly cried. I sat down by the side of the s.h.i.+p and quite gave in.

"While I was still crying someone came behind and touched me on the shoulder.

"'If you are not well, don't you think you had better go downstairs?'

"I looked round. An old gentleman was standing behind me. He actually thought that I was sick. I was indignant.

"'Thank you. I am quite well.'

"'I--I beg your pardon. I--I thought you were affected by the motion of the sea.'