Le Cocu Part 24

"But you seem to be so infatuated with this little Marguerite. You say that she is so pretty."

"In the first place, I did not say that she was pretty. But even if she were, that isn't what I admired in her; it was her love, her deep affection for her lover."

"Oh, yes! that was what led you up to the eaves!"

"Yes, it was. Why do you think ill of a person whom you do not know?"

"Oh! you did so many things when you were a bachelor! You had so many mistresses!"

"A very good reason why I did not need to turn to somebody's else, who would not have listened to me if I had."

"You may very well have known Mademoiselle Marguerite before she knew her Monsieur Ernest, as you were her neighbor."

"If I had dreamed that you would imagine all this, I would not have mentioned Ernest or his wife."

"His wife! She isn't his wife."

"It is practically the same thing, as they live together."

"Such people are always very queer, and that woman would not be received in decent society."

"Queer! What foolish prejudices! People in what is called good society won't receive a woman who has lived a long time with the only man whom she ever loved; whose only care, whose only glory consists in making him happy; who goes out with no one but him, adorns herself for no one else, knows no pleasure without him; but they will welcome and make much of the woman who ruins her husband by extravagance, who does not even take the trouble to conceal her love-affairs, who goes about with no one but her cicisbeo. And all because those women are married, forsooth! Upon my word, it does great honor to society!"

"Mon Dieu! how you flare up, monsieur!"

"Because I cannot tolerate injustice, and because this particular injustice is often perpetrated in society. For my own part, I tell you that I shall always rise above such prejudices, and that I should be very glad to welcome Ernest and his wife at my house."

"I thank you, monsieur, but I trust that you will not do so."

"If you knew them, I am sure that you would not talk like this."

"I have no desire to make their acquaintance; it is quite enough for you to be Mademoiselle Marguerite's intimate friend."

"Great heaven! how absurdly you talk, Eugenie!"

"And she used to live in this house?"

"To be sure."

"I am no longer surprised that you are so attached to your apartment."

I angrily threw down my knife and fork and rose from the table, saying:

"Let us talk no more about it, for you will end with making me angry too. Are you ready? It is time to go to the theatre."

"I don't want to go."

"And this morning you were looking forward to it. What is the meaning of this new whim?"

"It isn't a whim; I don't care about going to the theatre; I don't want to go out."

"As you please. Then I will go without you."

I took my hat and went out, closing the door rather violently. One absolutely must vent one's ill humor on something.

I was really distressed. That was the first quarrel I had had with my wife. It pained me all the more because I knew that I was not in the wrong; and when a person feels that he deserves neither reproof nor blame, he is doubly incensed with those who reprove or blame him.

To think of my being insulted by Eugenie! A few months before I could not have believed that that could happen. To think of being hurt and grieved by her! But it was jealousy that led her astray, that excited her. I tried to find excuses for her. We always try to find excuses for those whom we love; we should be so unhappy if we could not excuse them.

I found but little enjoyment at the theatre; there were times however, when, engrossed by the play, which was very pretty, I abandoned myself to the pleasure it afforded me; but the memory of my quarrel with my wife soon returned to my mind; it was as if a weight had resumed its place upon my chest; it embarra.s.sed me and prevented me from enjoying myself. What a child I was! after all, it was a most trivial dispute; I was foolish to think that a husband and wife could always agree. Yet I did think so; I believed it. That quarrel, trivial though it was, caused me much distress, because it was the first, and because it destroyed one of my illusions.

My wife was in bed when I went home. The next day we did not mention our dispute of the day before. We were not on bad terms, and yet everything was not right between us. Eugenie was colder and less talkative than usual; there was none of the delightful unreserve of former days. But I could not ask her pardon when I had done nothing. Let madame sulk, if that amuses her, I thought; I will seem not to notice it.

A fortnight pa.s.sed thus, during which I went once to Ernest's; but I was careful not to tell my wife; one must needs have secrets from people who see evil in everything.

One morning, Eugenie said to me:

"We must see about finding a new apartment."

"A new apartment? what for, pray?"

"Why, to move into, naturally."

"Do you mean that you want to leave this apartment, which you like so much?"

"Oh! I can't endure it now! and if I had known all that I know now, we certainly would have taken another when we were married."

"Known all that you know? Are you going to begin again?"

"You can't deny that this was the place where you knew Mademoiselle Marguerite; everybody in the house knows it, and you cannot certainly think it is pleasant for me to live here."

"Everybody in the house knows that I used to talk to my neighbor; and everybody also knows that I was not her lover."

"Oh! that isn't what people say--even the concierges."

"What, Eugenie! do you talk with the concierges?"

"No, not I; but our maid talks with them sometimes; that is natural enough. And I know, monsieur, that Mademoiselle Marguerite was not content to receive visits from you; she used to come to your room."

"That is false, madame."

"You won't admit it, of course not. You could not say that she used to come here with her lover."

"Oh, yes! I do remember now that she came once to my room, just once, one morning, to ask me if I had seen her cat which she had lost."

"Her cat! ha! ha! a charming excuse! That virtuous young woman goes to a bachelor's room to look for her cat!"

"I swear to you that that is the truth!"