Three Plays: The Fiddler's House, The Land, Thomas Muskerry Part 31

ALBERT He'll have to give the whole thing up soon.

TOURNOUR He's well off that can get somebody else to do the work for him. _(He continues to sweep towards corridor)_

ALBERT Tournour, you're a d.a.m.ned clever fellow. I heard a piece of yours yesterday that I thought was d.a.m.ned good.

TOURNOUR Was it a rhyme?

ALBERT It was something called "The Devil's Rambles."

TOURNOUR _(taking a step towards him)_ Don't let the boss hear, and I'll tell it to you, Mr. Albert. _(He holds the brush in his hands and is about to begin the recitation when Crofton Crilly enters from the Master's apartments. Crofton Crilly has a presentable appearance.

He is big and well made, has a fair beard and blue eyes. A pipe is always in his mouth. He is a loiterer, a talker, a listener)_

CRILLY Are you going to finish the abstracts to-night, Albert?

ALBERT I believe I am. Go on with "The Devil's Rambles," Tournour.

CRILLY I heard it in Keegan's. It's d.a.m.n good.

TOURNOUR I don't like saying it before Mister Crilly.

CRILLY _(with easy contempt)_ Go on with it, man; I'll leave a pint in Keegan's for you.

TOURNOUR Well, you mightn't like it.

CRILLY Have done talking and go on with it.

TOURNOUR _(reciting)_--

"In his chamber above--a--a _person_ lay snug, When the Devil this summons roared in his lug-- 'Get up,' said the Devil, 'and swear you'll be true, And the oath of allegiance I'll tender anew.

You'll have pork, veal, and lamb, mutton-chops, fowl and fish, Cabbage and carrots and leeks as you wish.

No fast days to you will make visitation, For your sake the town will have dispensation.

Long days you will have, without envy or strife, And when you depart you'll find the same life, And in the next world you'll have your will and your sway, With a Poorhouse to govern all your own way, And I'll promise you this; to keep up your state, You'll have Felix Tournour to watch at the gate.'"

CRILLY That's d.a.m.n good. I must get a copy of the whole of it to show at Keegan's.

_Tournour has swept as far as the corridor door. He opens it and sweeps down the pa.s.sage. He goes out and closes door_.

CRILLY That's a d.a.m.n clever fellow. _(He becomes anxious, as with a troubled recollection. He goes to the little cabinet, opens it, and takes out a bottle of whisky and a gla.s.s. He pours some whisky into the gla.s.s, and remains looking at himself in the mirror. He smooths his beard. He goes to the arm chair with the gla.s.s of whisky, the anxious expression still on his face)_ This is a cursed town.

_(He drinks)_

ALBERT Every town in Ireland is a cursed town.

CRILLY But this is an extraordinarily cursed town. Everybody's in debt to everybody else. I don't know what's to be done. Now, imagine that fellow, James Covey, failing in business and getting clear out of the town.

ALBERT Covey seems to have done it well.

CRILLY G.o.d knows how many he has stuck.

ALBERT Well, he didn't stick the Crillys for anything.

CRILLY Albert, you don't know how these financial things work out.

Do you think would his brother settle?

ALBERT Settle with whom?

CRILLY Well ... with any of the ... any of the people that have ...

I don't know. It's a cursed town. If I had joined the police at your age, I'd have a pension by this, and I mightn't care for any of them.

ALBERT I wish I had a job and I'd wait on the pension.

CRILLY Oh, you'll be all right. The grandfather is seeing about your job.

ALBERT If the grandparent gets me that job I'll want two new suits at least.

CRILLY 'Pon my soul, Albert, I don't know what's to be done. ( _His mind wanders off)_ I suppose the abstracts have to go out in the morning.

ALBERT They have. And d.a.m.n all the old man has done to them.

CRILLY The Guardians hear that he's late in the mornings, Albert, and some of them are beginning to question his fitness to check the stores.

ALBERT The old man ought to resign.

CRILLY I suppose he ought. I'm not wis.h.i.+ng for his resignation myself, Albert. You know your mother regards it as a settled thing that he should come and live with us.

ALBERT The mother and Anna are preparing for the event.

CRILLY How's that, Albert?

ALBERT Mother has James Scollard in her eye for the new Master.

CRILLY Right enough! Scollard would get it, too, and then he would marry Anna.

ALBERT That's the arrangement, I expect.

CRILLY It mightn't be bad. Scollard mightn't want Nancy's money under that arrangement. Still I don't like the idea of the old man living in the house.

ALBERT The mother would never think of letting him take himself and his pension anywhere else.

CRILLY I don't think she would.

ALBERT I wouldn't be surprised if he did go somewhere else. I hear he often goes up to that cottage in Stradrina.

CRILLY What cottage, Albert?

ALBERT Briar Cottage. I hear he sits down there, and talks of coming to live in the place.

CRILLY _(warningly)_ Albert, don't clap hands behind the bird. Take my word, and say nothing about it.

ALBERT All right.