Cruel Romance Chapter 2.6

If Ying Shao knew about it, would he be happy? Jin Xiu wondered, bittersweet, she couldn’t continue lazing around there, she had enjoyed being taken care of for long enough. It was just that, in future would there still be opportunities for them to meet? After all he was friends with Zuo Zhen. Now the seat she was in, Ying Shao had probably sat there before, didn’t Zuo Zhen say that they came here often?

She thought she heard Zuo Zhen say something and she lifted her head up in a daze, “What?” Zuo Zhen didn’t know whether to laugh or be annoyed, women who went out to eat with him, not a single one would dare to blank out time and again. She wasn’t focused on him at all.

“You…work together with Ying Shao?” Jin Xiu tried her best to sound casual.

“No.” Zuo Zhen continued, “He is often at Bai Le Men.”

Jin Xiu couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. So they weren’t together. Although she hid it well but Zuo Zhen had survived in Shanghai for over twenty years, a pair of hardened eyes with hooks, so even if you’re trying to hide something, you wouldn’t be able to fool him. In any case, compared to him, Jin Xiu was like a piece of white paper, before his eyes, what could she expect to hide?

Zuo Zhen lightly crinkled up his eyes, “You want to be with Ying Dong?”

Jin Xiu was so stunned that her hands were trembling, “No no, you’ve misunderstood, I know my place well, and there isn’t anything I’m capable of yet.”

Zuo Zhen faintly smiled, smoking slowly following up with a question, “That means, you wish to be his woman?”

“Ah?” Jin Xiu was exposed in just a moment and blushed all the way to her ears, dignity on the ground, hurriedly denying, “Never, never! Ying Shao….Ying Shao who is of such status, I…”

Zuo Zhen shot back, “What status, you mean, as long as his status can be disregarded, you’d be willing?”

Jin Xiu was shocked. Only after a while she reacted, “You’re making fun of me?” How could he be like that?

Zuo Zhen only replied, “The dishes are here, try this smoked duck, it’s the signature dish here.”

Jin Xiu glared at him, anger burning. “Mr Zuo! For all your help, I’m definitely very grateful, but please don’t joke about such stuff, I’m not that kind…”

“What do I need your grat.i.tude for?” Zuo Zhen coldly raised his eyes, “What can you do for me? Want me to joke with you, I’m afraid you not up to it.” His tone was calm and could even be considered warm but the look in his eyes were cold as ice, this string of words from his mouth, did not carry the least bit of anger but Jin Xiu couldn’t help but s.h.i.+ver.

Jin Xiu didn’t understand Shanghai, much less Zuo Zhen. If she understood, that she would definitely not speak to him like this—-so casually with even a bit a temper. Zuo Zhen wasn’t the type to take kindly to coquetry and orders, or easily manipulated by soft and hard tactics.

“I…” Jin Xiu blushed, “Maybe I don’t know your rules. What kind of people you and Ying Shao are, what you do, I don’t understand. But since you’ve both saved me, helped me, I wish to repay this, it’s that simple. I know that what I can do is limited, and I’m not someone who belongs in your world. You think I would have such delusions?” Her voice slowly lowered, “I’m unworthy, but I have my pride. I don’t know anyone in Shanghai, and have no place to go, so I have to abandon this little bit of pride for empathy and warmth from you.”

Zuo Zhen sank into silence. The expression on his face was too deep to comprehend, and impossible to tell whether he was angry or not.

Jin Xiu tried her best to brace herself, took in a deep breath, and put on a smile, “Alright, you’re treating me to a meal yet I’ve spoiled the mood, let’s not talk about all that, I’m going to try the Hunan cuisine here to see what’s so special about it?” She picked up a braised oxtail in chilli oil and took a big bite, “Whoa, spicy and flavourful, this is good stuff!” As she ate the spiciness caused her to breathe deeply, even her tears threatened to spill.

Actually it was just an exaggeration, her tears were real but the spiciness was not, but if she did not pretend that she could not stand the spiciness, how could she hide the embarra.s.sing tears?

His hand gently took away her chopsticks and a soft piece of handkerchief covered her nose and mouth, “Don’t force yourself if it’s too spicy.”

She raised her head in shock and saw the warm smile on Zuo Zhen’s face. “Wipe your face clean, a lady should eat demurely.”

“I wasn’t making fun of you, I just wished to help you.” Zuo Zhen did not have to explain but he still did, “I’ve been brothers with Ying Dong for years, whether you wish to work for him, repay him or like him, I think that besides me, you can’t find a second person who can help you achieve your aim.”

Jin Xiu held on to his handkerchief wiping her face and her pathetic state away. “It’s impossible.” She softly said, “I’ve never truly desired to possess him. In any case, even getting close to him is not easy. I might be stupid, but I know this much.”

Zuo Zhen wrinkled his forehead. “Now you’re having a meal with me, why do you not feel that you’re not worthy? What’s the difference between Ying Dong and me?”

Jin Xiu replied, “It’s not the same.”

She put down her chopsticks looking at the bamboo curtains by the window, melancholic, “You just happened to b.u.mp into me along the streets and treat me to a meal, this is all but a coincidence, it doesn’t mean a thing to you and I’m not asking anything of you. But if I carry such a motive to get close to Ying Shao, even if just to repay him, I would still hope for his attention, that feeling, I would want it to last longer…how would this be the same?”

Zuo Zhen poured himself a cup of liquor and slowly downed it. He understood. “You’re not wrong. But if you don’t think it’s beneath you I can help you enter Bai Le Men, that’s Ying Dong’s place.”

Jin Xiu didn’t quite understand, “Why would it be beneath me?”

Zuo Zhen looked at the cup of liquor in his hands, “Bai Le Men is one of the most famous nightclubs in Shanghai, especially the Bai Le Men grand ballroom, it’s long renowned.”

Jin Xiu looked at him, slowly deciphering his words.

“You…want me to go to Bai Le Men, to be a dancer.” She was surprised.

“That wasn’t what I meant.” Zuo Zhen lightly denied, “I’m just saying that I can help you get there. Where you want to go depends on yourself.”

“But, didn’t you just say….”Jin Xiu was puzzled by his manner, didn’t he just say that she could do odd jobs for him.

“Now this solution, don’t you think it’s even better?” Zuo Zhen asked. Xiang Ying Dong’s woman, he couldn’t be bothered to mess with. In any case didn’t Jin Xiu want to get close to Ying Dong? What hope would she have if she worked for him?

Jin Xiu descended into silence.

She couldn’t even take care of her meals and didn’t even have a cent on her, what else could she do? She couldn’t rely on Ying Shao and Zuo Zhen for the rest of her life. In any case as a dancer all she had to do was dance, if she could maintain her principles, it was alright, wasn’t it?

“If I do this…would I be corrupting myself?” She said to herself in a daze, this sacrifice, was it to survive or was it for Ying Shao?

“You are different from others.” Zuo Zhen leaned back into his chair, “If you wish to leave, you can look for me anytime.” The moment those words left his lips, even he was shocked, what did it mean? Why would he say that? She was just an acquaintance, did he need to be so helpful? He wasn’t someone who had a lot of time on his hands, much less the energy to deal with such nonsense. Strange.