The Deaves Affair - LightNovelsOnl.com
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When she came to the end he murmured, deeply moved: "I can't say anything."
She could have asked no finer tribute. "You needn't," she murmured.
The pleasure she took in his applause was evidenced in the warmth she imparted to the next song. She made it intolerably plaintive: "Just a Wearyin' for You."
Evan held his breath in delight. "If the words were true!" he thought.
But though she sang with abandon, she never looked at him. He was artist enough to know better than to take an artistic performance literally.
Nothing more was said for a long time. She pa.s.sed from one song to another, singing from memory; dreamily improvising on the piano between. She chose only simple songs in English which pleased Evan well--could she read his heart?--the "Shoogy-Shoo"; "Little Boy Blue"; the "Sands o' Dee."
Evan was incapable of criticising her voice. Some might have objected that it lacked that bell-like clearness so much to be desired; that it had a dusky quality, but Evan was not quarrelling because it was the voice of a woman instead of an angel. One thing she had beyond peradventure, temperament; her heart was in her singing, and so it played on his heartstrings as she willed.
While he listened enraptured, he saw the moon peek over the buildings in the next street. He softly got up and turned off the impertinent gas. Beyond a startled glance over her shoulder she made no objection.
He was utterly fascinated by the movements of the bright head, now raised, now lowered, now turned towards the window in the changing moods of the songs.
Moonlight completed the working of the spell that was laid upon him.
For the moment he ceased to be a rational being. He was exalted by emotion far out of himself. He experienced the sweetness of losing his own ident.i.ty. It was as if a great wind had s.n.a.t.c.hed him up into the universal ether, a region of warmth of colour and perfume. But he was conscious of a pull on him like that of the magnet for the iron, a pull that was neither to be questioned nor resisted.
At the last she turned around on the bench again, and her hands dropped in her lap. "That is all. I'm tired," she said like a child.
With a single movement the rapt youth was at her feet, weaving his arms about her waist. Unpremeditated words poured from him; words out of deeps in him of which up to that moment he was unconscious.
"Oh, you woman! You are the first in the world for me! I know you now! I feel your power! It's too much for me. And I'm glad of it! I have waited for you. I looked for you in so many girls' faces only to find emptiness. I began to doubt. Love was just a poetic fancy, I thought. But I have found it. Let me love you."
She was not surprised, nor angry. She gently tried to detach his arms.
"Oh, hus.h.!.+ hus.h.!.+" she murmured. "It is not me! It is just the music!"
"It is you! It is you!" he protested. "I knew it when I first saw you. You or none!"
"But how silly!" she said in a warm, low voice. "You have seen me twice."
"What difference does that make?" he said impatiently. "One cannot be mistaken about a thing like this. I love you with all my heart. It only takes a second to happen, but it can never be undone while I live.
You have entered into me and taken possession. If you left me I should be no more than a sh.e.l.l of a man!"
"Ah, but be sensible!" she begged him. He thought he felt her fingertips brush his hair. "Try to be sensible. Think of me."
"I wish to think only of you. What do you want me to do?"
"Get up and sit beside me. Let us talk."
He sat beside her on the bench. He did not offer to touch her again.
The moonlight was in her face; the lifted, shadowy oval seemed angelic to him, he was full of awe.
"You're so beautiful!" he groaned, "so beautiful it hurts me!"
"Hus.h.!.+" she said, "you mustn't talk like that."
"Is it wrong?"
"Yes--no! I don't know. I can't bear it!"
"You can do what you like with me."
"You don't mean that really."
"I do. I have longed to be able to give myself up wholly."
"Then be my brother, my dear brother."
Evan frowned. "You mean----?"
"Be my brother," she repeated. "I need your help."
"But--but how can I?" said Evan. "I am only a man."
"The other thing only frightens me," she said quickly. "I like you--but I cannot return that. This is not just the feeling of a moment. It will never change. I know myself. But be my friend. Take what I can give you. Do not force me to be on my guard. I wish to let myself go with you."
"That is what I wish," he said quickly. Poor Evan felt hollow inside: hollow and a little dazed. The cloud-piercing tower of his happiness had collapsed. A sure instinct told him that what she proposed was impossible, and what was more, absurd. But he clutched at straws. The idea of giving her up altogether was unthinkable. Moreover he was incapable of resisting her at that moment. It was easy enough to silence that inner voice. He said nothing, but merely raised her hand to his lips.
"Swear it," she murmured.
"You dictate the oath."
"Swear that you will be my friend, and nothing but my friend."
"I swear it."
Suddenly leaning forward she kissed his cheek as a sister might have done--but the spot glowed long afterwards. Then she jumped up.
"You must go now."
"Not quite yet," he pleaded, "Corinna."
"Oh!" she rebuked him.
"But you're my sister now."
"Very well, you may call me Corinna, but you must go. What will the landlady say?"
"But you said you needed my help. How can I rest not knowing----"
"But that's too long a story to begin now. There's no immediate danger threatening me. There will be other nights."
"How can I wait twenty-four hours?"
"How would you like to get up early and go walking in the country before the day's work?"
"I'd like it above all things."