The Contrast Part 5

MANLY. Though it is of little consequence to me of what shape my coat is, yet, as to the height of the fas.h.i.+on, there you will please to excuse me, sister. You know my sentiments on that subject. I have often lamented the advantage which the French have over us in that particular.

In Paris, the fas.h.i.+ons have their dawnings, their routine, and declensions, and depend as much upon the caprice of the day as in other countries; but there every lady a.s.sumes a right to deviate from the general _ton_ as far as will be of advantage to her own appearance. In America, the cry is, What is the fas.h.i.+on? and we follow it indiscriminately, because it is so.

CHARLOTTE. Therefore it is, that when large hoops are in fas.h.i.+on, we often see many a plump girl lost in the immensity of a hoop-petticoat, whose want of height and _en-bon-point_ would never have been remarked in any other dress. When the high head-dress is the mode, how then do we see a lofty cus.h.i.+on, with a profusion of gauze, feathers, and ribband, supported by a face no bigger than an apple; whilst a broad, full-faced lady, who really would have appeared tolerably handsome in a large head-dress, looks with her smart chapeau as masculine as a soldier.

MANLY. But remember, my dear sister, and I wish all my fair countrywomen would recollect, that the only excuse a young lady can have for going extravagantly into a fas.h.i.+on is because it makes her look extravagantly handsome.--Ladies, I must wish you a good morning.

CHARLOTTE. But, brother, you are going to make home with us.

MANLY. Indeed I cannot. I have seen my uncle and explained that matter.

CHARLOTTE. Come and dine with us, then. We have a family dinner about half-past four o'clock.

MANLY. I am engaged to dine with the Spanish amba.s.sador. I was introduced to him by an old brother officer; and instead of freezing me with a cold card of compliment to dine with him ten days hence, he, with the true old Castilian frankness, in a friendly manner, asked me to dine with him to-day--an honour I could not refuse. Sister, adieu--madam, your most obedient--

[_Exit._

CHARLOTTE. I will wait upon you to the door, brother; I have something particular to say to you.

[_Exit._

LEt.i.tIA [_alone_]. What a pair!--She the pink of flirtation, he the essence of everything that is _outre_ and gloomy.--I think I have completely deceived Charlotte by my manner of speaking of Mr. Dimple; she's too much the friend of Maria to be confided in. He is certainly rendering himself disagreeable to Maria, in order to break with her and proffer his hand to me. This is what the delicate fellow hinted in our last conversation.

[_Exit._

SCENE II. _The Mall._

_Enter JESSAMY._

Positively this Mall is a very pretty place. I hope the cits won't ruin it by repairs. To be sure, it won't do to speak of in the same day with Ranelagh or Vauxhall; however, it's a fine place for a young fellow to display his person to advantage. Indeed, nothing is lost here; the girls have taste, and I am very happy to find they have adopted the elegant London fas.h.i.+on of looking back, after a genteel fellow like me has pa.s.sed them.--Ah! who comes here? This, by his awkwardness, must be the Yankee colonel's servant. I'll accost him.

_Enter JONATHAN._

JESSAMY. _Votre tres-humble serviteur, Monsieur._ I understand Colonel Manly, the Yankee officer, has the honour of your services.

JONATHAN. Sir!--

JESSAMY. I say, sir, I understand that Colonel Manly has the honour of having you for a servant.

JONATHAN. Servant! Sir, do you take me for a neger,--I am Colonel Manly's waiter.

JESSAMY. A true Yankee distinction, egad, without a difference. Why, sir, do you not perform all the offices of a servant? do you not even blacken his boots?

JONATHAN. Yes; I do grease them a bit sometimes; but I am a true blue son of liberty, for all that. Father said I should come as Colonel Manly's waiter, to see the world, and all that: but no man shall master me: my father has as good a farm as the Colonel.

JESSAMY. Well, sir, we will not quarrel about terms upon the eve of an acquaintance from which I promise myself so much satisfaction;--therefore, _sans ceremonie_--

JONATHAN. What?--

JESSAMY. I say I am extremely happy to see Colonel Manly's waiter.

JONATHAN. Well, and I vow, too, I am pretty considerably glad to see you; but what the dogs need of all this outlandish lingo? Who may you be, sir, if I may be so bold?

JESSAMY. I have the honour to be Mr. Dimple's servant, or, if you please, waiter. We lodge under the same roof, and should be glad of the honour of your acquaintance.

JONATHAN. You a waiter! by the living jingo, you look so topping, I took you for one of the agents to Congress.

JESSAMY. The brute has discernment, notwithstanding his appearance.--Give me leave to say I wonder then at your familiarity.

JONATHAN. Why, as to the matter of that, Mr.----; pray, what's your name?

JESSAMY. Jessamy, at your service.

JONATHAN. Why, I swear we don't make any great matter of distinction in our state between quality and other folks.

JESSAMY. This is, indeed, a levelling principle.--I hope, Mr. Jonathan, you have not taken part with the insurgents.

JONATHAN. Why, since General Shays has sneaked off and given us the bag to hold, I don't care to give my opinion; but you'll promise not to tell--put your ear this way--you won't tell?--I vow I did think the sturgeons were right.

JESSAMY. I thought, Mr. Jonathan, you Ma.s.sachusetts-men always argued with a gun in your hand. Why didn't you join them?

JONATHAN. Why, the Colonel is one of those folks called the s.h.i.+n--s.h.i.+n--dang it all, I can't speak them _lignum vitae_ words--you know who I mean--there is a company of them--they wear a China goose at their b.u.t.ton-hole--a kind of gilt thing.--Now the Colonel told father and brother,--you must know there are, let me see--there is Elnathan, Silas, and Barnabas, Tabitha--no, no, she's a she--tarnation, now I have it--there's Elnathan, Silas, Barnabas, Jonathan, that's I--seven of us, six went into the wars, and I stayed at home to take care of mother.

Colonel said that it was a burning shame for the true blue Bunker-Hill sons of liberty, who had fought Governor Hutchinson, Lord North, and the Devil, to have any hand in kicking up a cursed dust against a government which we had, every mother's son of us, a hand in making.

JESSAMY. Bravo!--Well, have you been abroad in the city since your arrival? What have you seen that is curious and entertaining?

JONATHAN. Oh! I have seen a power of fine sights. I went to see two marble-stone men and a leaden horse that stands out in doors in all weathers; and when I came where they was, one had got no head, and t'

other wer'n't there. They said as how the leaden man was a d.a.m.n'd tory, and that he took wit in his anger and rode off in the time of the troubles.

JESSAMY. But this was not the end of your excursion.

JONATHAN. Oh, no; I went to a place they call Holy Ground. Now I counted this was a place where folks go to meeting; so I put my hymn-book in my pocket, and walked softly and grave as a minister; and when I came there, the dogs a bit of a meeting-house could I see. At last I spied a young gentlewoman standing by one of the seats which they have here at the doors. I took her to be the deacon's daughter, and she looked so kind, and so obliging, that I thought I would go and ask her the way to lecture, and--would you think it?--she called me dear, and sweeting, and honey, just as if we were married: by the living jingo, I had a month's mind to buss her.

JESSAMY. Well, but how did it end?

JONATHAN. Why, as I was standing talking with her, a parcel of sailor men and boys got round me, the snarl-headed curs fell a-kicking and cursing of me at such a tarnal rate, that I vow I was glad to take to my heels and split home, right off, tail on end, like a stream of chalk.

JESSAMY. Why, my dear friend, you are not acquainted with the city; that girl you saw was a--[_Whispers._]

JONATHAN. Mercy on my soul! was that young woman a harlot!--Well! if this is New-York Holy Ground, what must the Holy-day Ground be!

JESSAMY. Well, you should not judge of the city too rashly. We have a number of elegant fine girls here that make a man's leisure hours pa.s.s very agreeably. I would esteem it an honour to announce you to some of them.--Gad! that announce is a select word; I wonder where I picked it up.

JONATHAN. I don't want to know them.

JESSAMY. Come, come, my dear friend, I see that I must a.s.sume the honour of being the director of your amus.e.m.e.nts. Nature has given us pa.s.sions, and youth and opportunity stimu late to gratify them. It is no shame, my dear Blueskin, for a man to amuse himself with a little gallantry.

JONATHAN. Girl huntry! I don't altogether understand. I never played at that game. I know how to play hunt the squirrel, but I can't play anything with the girls; I am as good as married.