Six One-Act Plays - LightNovelsOnl.com
You're reading novel online at LightNovelsOnl.com. Please use the follow button to get notifications about your favorite novels and its latest chapters so you can come back anytime and won't miss anything.
KING--I came back for my cane, and I'm not going to leave without it.
(_Horn blows again._)
GENTLEMAN--Hang it all, we'll be dreadfully late.
SELINA--(_In an ecstasy of fear._) No, no, stay here till they go.
(_Leans against screen, which shakes, and almost falls over._)
MISS BROWN--What's back of that screen? I saw it move!
(_Goes toward screen. Bart and King make a bolt for the door, and Officer stops them._)
MISS BROWN--(_Discovering Selina and Gentleman._) Pipe these two dolls, will ye?
(_Selina draws scarf over face, and hurries toward door._)
OFFICER--(_Detaining her._) Not so fast please, I want to see you first.
GENTLEMAN--We're all right officer, just waiting here out of the cold, while my car was being--
OFFICER--(_With easy familiarity to Selina._) h.e.l.lo kid, where did you hook the gown?
GENTLEMAN--Officer!
OFFICER--Easy, boy, easy.
SELINA--Let me pa.s.s, you have no right to detain me.
GENTLEMAN--This is an outrage. I'll report you.
OFFICER--(_To Selina._) Some style to you now, kid. Who you workin'?
Must have money to rig you out like that!
SELINA--Let me pa.s.s, I tell you, let me pa.s.s!
OFFICER--You're a wonder, Lena. Your own mother wouldn't know you.
BART--My gos.h.!.+
GENTLEMAN--How dare you insult this lady?
OFFICER--Say, what are you b.u.t.tin' in for? Who are you anyway? What's it matter to you?
GENTLEMAN--Everything. I'll not let you bulldoze a lady who's going to be my wife.
OFFICER--She's not going to be your wife while I'm alive, Clarence.
GENTLEMAN--What do you mean?
OFFICER--I don't believe in divorce, and--
SELINA--(_In suppressed rage._) Keep quiet, will you!
OFFICER--(_Coolly._) And she happens to be _my_ wife.
(_General consternation._)
GENTLEMAN--Good heavens!
BART--Great fis.h.!.+
KING--I'll be darned!
MISS BROWN--They're all dotty. The whole fool ranch is dotty.
GENTLEMAN--(_Tensely, to Selina._) Is this true, tell me, is this true?
SELINA--(_Shrugging shoulders._) Oh, what's the use!
OFFICER--Sure, it ain't any use, Lena, but if you're havin' a good time, go to it. Gawd knows I don't want any more of ye.
(_Horn blows again._)
GENTLEMAN--I must be going.
SELINA--Would you mind dropping me at my apartments?
GENTLEMAN--(_Coldly._) Certainly not, if you wish.
(_Exeunt Selina and Gentleman. Bart, King and Officer bow to her with mock courtesy as she pa.s.ses them._)
OFFICER--She's got her nerve, all right. Knew I picked a pippin' when I married her. She'll cook up some story to hoodwink him before they get to her apartments. (_Stands in doorway, meditatively._)
KING--Died in her mother's arms! And I've been keeping the fict.i.tious old lady eight years.
BART--I'll put no flowers on her grave, the siren.
KING--She worked us all very nicely, didn't she?
BART--(_Suddenly._) King, our hands are bloodless. We have not murdered Selina!
(_King and Bart fall into one another's arms, overcome with emotion.
Miss Brown watches them a moment in supreme disgust._)
MISS BROWN--(_To Boy._) Put on a fox trot, Jimmie, maybe it'll bring them to, the poor prunes!
(_Boy puts on record._)
(_CURTAIN_)
