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Volume 1, Chapter 30: You completely don't understand how to do CPR
TL: flarewk
Within Amelia's eyes, flashed a trace of horror....she was actually scared.....
"I can feel it too, but it looks like the rest didn't react to it."
"I knew it; being the first Duo Emperors alongside with me, you'll definitely be able to feel it too."
Being from the 12 legendary veterans, me and Amelia's sensitivity are way above the average person.
Since we would often need to avoid being caught, isn't that right......
"You have any ideas on what it is?"
"No, but my feelings tll me that it's definitely a bad omen......"
A bad omen? It's a little troublesome....
"It should be fine, as long as we don't approach the previous' native regional area."
"Mm......."
That thing should most probably be "Ye Zi" already, and by the way what is "Ye Zi" exactly, it can't be some dangerous wild beast, could it?
"Alright, let's stop here for this conversation, to avoid letting Prez and the rest from waiting too long."
Amelia said as she re-straightened her feelings; so she's a rather optimistic person, huh.
"Let's go."
Just as Amelia stood up from my body, my leg suddenly slipped, and I subconsciously grabbed onto Amelia's hand, which made her tumble onto the ground, and under my panic, both of my hands were pressed onto the floor supporting me as my body laid onto Amelia's; right now our position seemed to have been swapped from earlier.
Bang!
The door suddenly opened at just this moment.....
"Zhang Jian, Amelia, I'd say no wonder you guys took so long, can't you do this sort of things at night? Also, when you guys do these kinds of stuff at night, remember not to make too much noise to avoid disturbing the rest of us."
The Prez pouted as she grumbled towards us, luckily it wasn't Ma Qing Xue or Xiao Ling that saw us though.....
s.h.i.+ntk.........s.h.i.+ntk...........s.h.i.+ntk.........s.h.i.+ntk.........s.h.i.+ntk...........
A series of knife-grinding sounds resounded beside my ears.
It's Xiao Ling, she's grinding a knife, what's she planning to do?
Whroooooom~~whrooooooom~~whrooooooooom~~~~~~~~
I heard the sound of electric chainsaw revving too......
And it's Ma Qing Xue, she's revving the chainsaw, now what's she planning to do?
"Zhang Jian~ it must be her who first seduced you, right~?"
"Jian ge, you definitely must have been deceived by her......."
Looks like a crime-scene is going to happen! Amelia is innocent, I must quickly think of a way to stop them.
"It wasn't Amelia's fault, it was I who did this to her!"
I crawled up from the ground, and spread my hands wide to protect Amelia; they wouldn't do anything bad towards me probably.......
"Zhang Jian, looks like you need some punishment~"
"Being such a playboy, Jian ge you'll need to suffer the death sentence alright~?"
I hastily gave the Prez behind them an eye gesture, and the Prez who immediately understood it quickly gave their heads each a chop.
"Still want to continue playing? If not I'll send you two back home!&q
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uot;
"Prez......."
"Damm big-breasted lady!"
"Xia Ling xiao meimei what did you just call me~?"
The Prez's face suddenly blackened; the serious-mode Prez's fighting ability was only outranked by the relapsed-mode Prez.
"A beautiful, pretty and kind big breasted jiejie~"
Xiao Ling's face changed instantaneously, I learnt about this since a long time ago, but what I didn't know if it's effective against the Prez or not.
"Heh heh, is that so? Amelia, go accompany Xia Ling meimei and play happily along with her."
"OK~"
Amelia grabbed the pitiful Xiao Ling and zoomed off like a gust of wind out of the room, now Xiao Ling would definitely suffer from that.
"Well then, Ma Qing Xue, do you need me to accompany you to play as well?"
"No need for that........"
I didn't know that the Prez had such authority in her, this made me conjour the feeling of being able to offend anybody but never to offend the Prez.
I changed into a men's pair of beach shorts....except that I really hated this design, but didn't have much choice as all the other designs were already taken by the rest of them.
This pair of men's shorts, have the word "Bullseye" behind on it's back.......damm it, who wrote that!
"Zhang Jian, I feel that the you wearing a female's swimming outfit would definitely be very suitable! I swear!"
As I slowly strolled to the beach, the b.a.s.t.a.r.d w.a.n.g Yi straightaway declared such words about that he really missed my crossdressing.....
"Is it~ no wonder you liked me so much, well then I shall declare my love for you in front of Ma Qing Xue and Xia Ling~!"
w.a.n.g Yi gave a cold shudder, you must know that it's summer right now on the island, the weather isn't cold at all in the first place.
"Take it as I've never said anything....eheheh"
He then wisely distanced himself away from me.
"Zhang Jian! What do you think about my swimsuit.....is it a little too exposed~"
Ma Qing Xue used her fingers to point onto my back a few times; I really didn't notice when she actually went right behind me.
I turned around, Ma Qing Xue chose a pure white simplistic bikini, there wasn't any unnecessary decorations. It really complemented the usual feeling that she emanated, it being fresh and elegant. Not bad.
"Extremely like!"
I pointed out a huge thumbs up, and that was my review from the most deepest of my heart.
"Jian ge~ how about me, how about me~"
Xiao Ling also ran over to join in the commotion....and her swimsuit is........my G.o.d! It's almost like it's tempting me to commit a crime; she's wearing a piece of black conjoined swimsuit, and she combed her not-really-long hair into ponytails, and even put on black cat-ears on her head, but worse of all, she's actually wearing a piece of black long stockings!
"Cough, cough.....it's still alright."
"So.....you like this kind of things!"
Ma Qing Xue immediately saw through my fetish, and ran over to the villa; a short while later she also wore a white cat-ears on her head, and put on a piece of white long stockings as she ran to in front of me.
"How's it right now?"
"Even better than earlier!"
"Then, me or Xiao Ling, who's cuter?"
This problem really came out.....I couldn't answer that well, for Xiao Ling is like a small black cat, while Ma Qing Xue's a big white cat; but to be frank, I really liked the both of them, and if you really wanted me to just choose one.....it's really a troubling decision.
"Yaho~ here comes Amelia~ Zhang Jian~ what do you think~!"
The moment this voice rang right behind me, I knew that I was about to be locked in a tight grip.....
I really think that one of Amelia's favorite hobbies is to get me into trouble!
"If you don't let go of me, then how would I know!"
I really liked the squishy sensation on my back right now, but under the intimidating glare of Xiao Ling and Ma Qing Xue, I had no choice but to valiantly think up of an idea to struggle off Amelia.
"I'll let go then~"
"Amelia......this is?"
Amelia actually chose something similiar to Xiao Ling and Ma Qing Xue, she wore a golden-yellowish swimsuit, and had the same color choice of cat-ears and long stockings.
Another golden cat appeared......a silver cat won't appear, would it?
(TL: pun on the famous story of golden and silver axe that appeared from the pool, after a normal axe fell into it)
"What are you guys doing gathering here, aren't you going to swim?"
The Prez leisurely approached towards us from the beach-side, I wouldn't want to comment onto her swimsuit already, a silver cat had indeed arrived!
Where did they exactly get those kinds of stuff from!
"The weather is so hot....I'll first head into the sea!"
If I'm to die, then everyone should die as well, if the girls ask me which of them looked nicer, I'll drag along w.a.n.g Yi and the rest onto this!
Pu Tong!
I jumped from the beach sh.o.r.e into the sea, and as the refres.h.i.+ng cool seawater enveloped my entire body instantly, the me right now should be temporarily safe from the impending danger.
"I want to swim too....."
Pu Tong! Ma Qing Xue jumped into the sea after me as well.
"Zhang Jian~ help~ I don't know how to swim!"
She expertly swam towards me using free-style and hugging me tightly thereafter; she actually still dared to say that she don't know how to swim?!
"Jian ge, I don't know too~ waahh!"
Xiao Ling used a professional frog-style to swim over and hug my waist.....
"Ohhh~~ I think I forgot how to swim too~"
Amelia straightaway ran across the sea towards me, this is even more impressive than swimming already you know!!
The situation right now is really lethal to me, with Amelia squis.h.i.+ng onto my back, Ma Qing Xue pulling onto my entire right arm, and Xiao Ling on the right side hugging my waist.
I'm already starting to sink already....
"Quickly let go, I'm dying! I'm dying!"
I had no choice already! I quickly acted as if I had drowned, and remained stationary within the seawater, and their actions as expected, was to frantically save me back ash.o.r.e; I'm such a genius indeed.
"Jian ge is so pitiful, we must quickly save him~ CPR~ CPR~!"
I slightly opened a tiny little crack in my eyes, and noticed that Xiao Ling had her lips pursed as she approached my face.....
And, Ma Qing Xue pushed Xiao Ling away aside.
"You don't even know what is CPR in the first place!"
Ma Qing Xue then approached my face; looks like it's time to wake up already.
"No way, you haven't even lifted Jian ge's head yet, and you didn't even pinch his nose, this completely wasn't even CPR at all!"
Xiao Ling grabbed Ma Qing Xue's waist from behind, and repeatedly dragged her backwards away from me.
"Let go, Zhang Jian is going to die!"
"You're then wasting Zhang Jian's life here, it's better to let me do it!"
"You're still small, your lungs capacity aren't enough, how do you do CPR at all, small children like you should just step aside!"
"If my lung capacity isn't enough I'll do a few more times then, what's most important about CPR is about the technique, and not lung capacity!"
Luckily, I didn't really drown, and if I did really drown, I would have been dead by now.
"Aiyah~ what are you guys doing, still not saving him? Well then, allow me...."
"What!!"
"Ehhh!!!"
Amelia quickly seized the chance when me, Ma Qing Xue, and Xiao Ling weren't paying attention to directly gave me a really ferocious CPR.
She took out a straw that she found from unknownst-where and plunged it into my mouth, before blowing deeply into it; Amelia's lung capacity can be described as 'horrifying', for it made my lungs nearly burst with air...
"Cough, cough....."
I pretended that I had woken up.
"You guys nearly killed me, you know that?"
"Not me, it's her!"
"Not me, it's her!"
Xiao Ling and Ma Qing Xue pointed to each other simultaneously.
Footnotes:
Prez's silver swimsuit: When Zj saw Prez for the first time, he meant about her swimsuit decorations/a.s.sortments in the original text, but I cleaned it up to make it preventing from looking awkward, so in the end it became "I wouldn't want to comment on her swimsuit already!"
Glossary:
Duo Emperors/ 12 legendary veterans = see side story 1 for thy backstory
-xiao meimei = an appendix placed behind a name; this meant "little sister"
-jiejie = an appendix placed behind a name; this meant "elder sister"
Xiao- = an appendix placed in front of a name; this would meant "small", and is usually used to complement a name rather cutely, or to refer to someone as being smaller than you. (quite close to that person when you would use this appendix)