Chatterbox, 1906 Part 127

Here, take this poker, do, you chap, and I will stand behind, And if the fellow gives you one, be brave, and never mind.

If I were just as young as you I should enjoy it quite.

Oh, dear! oh, dear! I do declare the fellow is in sight!'

'All right! all right!' a voice cried out; 'I am your own _coachman_, And I, to get you safe to town, have hit upon a plan.

This drift is only fifty yards, and then the road is clear, This _horse_ can take the ladies through to me it does appear; But such a man as _Mr. Brown_ I'm sure he will not mind, But walk right bravely through the snow unless he's left behind.'

'Not so, indeed,' he did reply; 'if on a _horse_ you get, I shall as well, or else I know my two feet I shall wet.'

And so he did; although they laughed and called him _Johnny Brown_, He safe was carried through the snow on the _horse_ called 'little Clown.'

The walk was done in safety, but when they pa.s.sed the wood Old _Mr. Brown_ he clasped his wife as tight as e'er he could.

And when they reached the sister's door he said to Mrs. Fife, 'By _Family Coach_ I ne'er again will travel with my wife.'

NOT AFRAID.

As at the time of the signing of the 'Declaration of Independence' the issue of the revolutionary struggle was still doubtful, all those who signed it risked both their lives and property. One of the signers, named Charles Carroll, was very wealthy, and after he had affixed his name, one of the others said: 'There go many millions.'

'Oh, no,' rejoined another, 'for there are many men of the same name, and they will not know whom to take.'

'Not so,' said Charles Carroll, and added to his signature the words, 'of Carrolton.' This is the only name to which the residence is attached.

VERY CANDID CRITICISM!

A would-be poet and flatterer wrote two sonnets in honour of one of his patrons, and submitted their merits to his judgment, desiring him to retain the best. After having read one of them the patron said, 'The other is the best.'

'How!' exclaimed the poet in surprise; 'you have not read it; how can you tell?'

'Because, indeed,' answered the other, 'it cannot be worse than the one I have read.'

THE PEDLAR.

Down the quiet village street, The pedlar takes his way, His old top hat, and long black coat, Have weathered many a day.

Before an open door he stays, With cheery word and smile, Where mother, with her babe in arms, Is standing for a while.

A little la.s.s is by her side, Her eyes with longing bright, For see, the pedlar has displayed A lamb, all soft and white!

Ah, well he knows, the wise old man, The way his wares to ply, For Mother, moved by childish plea, Is tempted soon to buy.

He next admires the bonny babe, His pretty curls of gold, And after bargaining awhile, Another toy is sold!

His sunny smile and pleasant words Beguile both old and young, Whatever else the pedlar lacks, He has a winning tongue.

[Ill.u.s.tration: "He has a winning tongue."]

[Ill.u.s.tration: "They were pa.s.sing a field of ripe corn."]

TEACHING HIM A LESSON.

A conceited young n.o.bleman was riding over part of his estate in the company of a farmer, an industrious and honest old man, whose hair was grey, and his shoulders bent with age and hard work. The young man thought he would have a little cheap fun at his companion's expense. So he said, 'Why don't you keep yourself straight, and hold your head up as I do?' Just then they were pa.s.sing a field of ripe corn, and the farmer quietly answered, 'Look at the ears of grain over there, my lord. The heavy, valuable, full heads hang down, while the light, worthless, and empty ones stand bolt upright.' The young man did not attempt another joke at the old fellow's expense. He had the worst of the laugh.

A GENTLE DONKEY.

(_Concluded from page 402._)

IV.

'Please, sir, could you speak to Simmons?'

'Ask him to come in here. Wonder what Simmons wants at this hour?' said Major Raeburn to his wife, when the parlour-maid had closed the door.

'Well, Simmons,' as the groom quietly entered the room, 'what is the trouble?'

'It's the oats, sir. Some one is stealing them.'

'Are you sure?'

'Certain, sir. It has been going on for a day or two.'

'Extraordinary,' murmured the Major. 'Well, we must watch. Have other things disappeared?'

'No, sir, not so far as I have seen. I can't make head or tail of it.

The two lads are as honest as the day; indeed, it was one of them who first noticed it. He refills the bin in the stable, and it is from there the oats are being stolen. I generally go to have a bit of lunch about ten or half-past, and I think the oats are taken then.'

'Well, look here! it is just ten, so you go to your lunch as usual; that will put the thief off his guard; but send one of the boys to hide in the stable and I will go and join him.'

'Any one there?' he whispered, a little later, as he crept into the stable.

'Yes, sir, Robin. I am in the loose-box,' continued the voice of the unseen Robin.

They had waited for over an hour, when Robin sat up and listened intently.

'Hear something?' inquired his master.