The Book of Humorous Verse - LightNovelsOnl.com
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The Pharmacop[oe]ia, Macaulay's Lays, Of course The Medea, And Sheridan's Plays, The Odes of Horace, And Verdant Green, The Poems of Morris, The Faery Queen, The Stones of Venice, Natural History (White's), And then Pendennis, The Arabian Nights, Cicero's Orations, Plain Tales from the Hills, The Wealth of Nations, And Byles on Bills, As in a Gla.s.s Darkly, Demosthenes' Crown, The Treatise of Berkeley, Tom Hughes's Tom Brown, The Mahabharata, The Humour of Hook, The Kreutzer Sonata, And Lalla Rookh, Great Battles by Creasy, And Hudibras, And Mids.h.i.+pman Easy, And Ra.s.selas, Shakespeare _in extenso_ And the aeneid, And Euclid (Colenso), The Woman who Did, Poe's Tales of Mystery, Then Rabelais, Guizot's French History, And Men of the Day, Rienzi, by Lytton, The Poems of Burns, The Story of Britain, The Journey (that's Sterne's), The House of Seven Gables, Carroll's Looking-gla.s.s, aesop his Fables, And Leaves of Gra.s.s, Departmental Ditties, The Woman in White, The Tale of Two Cities, s.h.i.+ps that Pa.s.s in the Night, Meredith's Feverel, Gibbon's Decline, Walter Scott's Peveril, And--some verses of mine.
_Mostyn T. Pigott._
THE COSMIC EGG
Upon a rock, yet uncreate, Amid a chaos inchoate, An uncreated being sate; Beneath him, rock, Above him, cloud.
And the cloud was rock, And the rock was cloud.
The rock then growing soft and warm, The cloud began to take a form, A form chaotic, vast and vague, Which issued in the cosmic egg.
Then the Being uncreate On the egg did incubate, And thus became the incubator; And of the egg did allegate, And thus became the alligator; And the incubator was potentate, But the alligator was potentator.
_Unknown._
FIVE WINES
Brisk methinks I am, and fine When I drink my cap'ring wine; Then to love I do incline, When I drink my wanton wine; And I wish all maidens mine, When I drink my sprightly wine; Well I sup and well I dine, When I drink my frolic wine; But I languish, lower, and pine, When I want my fragrant wine.
_Robert Herrick._
A RHYME FOR MUSICIANS
Handel, Bendel, Mendelssohn, Brendel, Wendel, Jada.s.sohn, Muller, Hiller, h.e.l.ler, Franz, Plothow, Flotow, Burto, Ganz.
Meyer, Geyer, Meyerbeer, Heyer, Weyer, Beyer, Beer, Lichner, Lachner, Schachner, Dietz, Hill, Will, Brull, Grill, Drill, Reiss, Rietz.
Hansen, Jansen, Jensen, Kiehl, Siade, Gade, Laade, Stiehl, Naumann, Riemann, Diener, Wurst, Niemann, Kiemann, Diener, Furst.
Kochler, Dochler, Rubinstein, Himmel, Hummel, Rosenhain, Lauer, Bauer, Kleinecke, Homberg, Plomberg, Reinecke.
_E. Lemke._
MY MADELINE
SERENADE IN M FLAT
SUNG BY MAJOR MARMADUKE MUTTONHEAD TO MADEMOISELLE MADELINE MENDOZA
My Madeline! my Madeline!
Mark my melodious midnight moans; Much may my melting music mean, My modulated monotones.
My mandolin's mild minstrelsy, My mental music magazine, My mouth, my mind, my memory, Must mingling murmur "Madeline!"
Muster 'mid midnight masquerades, Mark Moorish maidens, matrons' mien; 'Mongst Murcia's most majestic maids, Match me my matchless Madeline.
Mankind's malevolence may make Much melancholy musing mine; Many my motives may mistake, My modest merits much malign.
My Madeline's most mirthful mood Much mollifies my mind's machine, My mournfulness's magnitude Melts--make me merry, Madeline!
Match-making mas may machinate, Man[oe]uvring misses me mis-ween; Mere money may make many mate, My magic motto's "Madeline!"
Melt, most mellifluous melody, 'Midst Murcia's misty mounts marine; Meet me 'mid moonlight; marry me, _Madonna mia_! my Madeline!
_Walter Parke._
SUSAN SIMPSON
Sudden swallows swiftly skimming, Sunset's slowly spreading shade, Silvery songsters sweetly singing, Summer's soothing serenade.
Susan Simpson strolled sedately, Stifling sobs, suppressing sighs.
Seeing Stephen Sloc.u.m, stately She stopped, showing some surprise.
"Say," said Stephen, "sweetest sigher; Say, shall Stephen spouseless stay?"
Susan, seeming somewhat shyer, Showed submissiveness straightway.
Summer's season slowly stretches, Susan Simpson Sloc.u.m she-- So she signed some simple sketches-- Soul sought soul successfully.
Six Septembers Susan swelters; Six sharp seasons snow supplies; Susan's satin sofa shelters Six small Sloc.u.ms side by side.
_Unknown._
THE MARCH TO MOSCOW
The Emperor Nap he would set off On a summer excursion to Moscow; The fields were green and the sky was blue, Morbleu! Parbleu!
What a splendid excursion to Moscow!
