The Knight. Part 13

I said I had been wondering about that. Could he go right now without waiting for the tide?

He lifted his shoulders and let them drop. "It would depend on the wind, Sir Able. If Ran favored us, we could do it. But I can't always predict the wind. I know when the tide will run, however, and I know it will bear us out to sea if we let it."

He waited for me, but I was thinking.

"If you'd prefer I try earlier, I will, Sir Able of the High Heart. The risk of running aground will be greater, I warn you." "You wouldn't ordinarily do that?" The captain shook his head.

127.

"Then don't do it tomorrow. We can wait for the tide, like you say. How long will it take to get to Forcetti?"

"That will depend on the wind again--"

Just about then the cook and his helper brought up my breakfast. I did not know much about s.h.i.+p's food back then, but I knew enough from Pouk to see they had fixed some of everything they could lay hands on. When the dishes had been crowded onto the little table and the cook and his helper had gone back to the galley, the captain said, "With fair winds we'll tie up in Forcetti within a fortnight, Sir Able of the High Heart. With foul--well, anything you care to name. A month. Two months. Never."

A fortnight is two weeks or half the moon, but I did not know that then. I said a fortnight seemed awfully fast and waited to hear what he would say to that.

"We can sail night and day," he explained, "and with a fair wind we can travel as fast as a well-mounted rider. When that rider would be eating and sleeping and resting his horse, we can sail on as if the sun were up." I was eating.

"Then too, it will depend on how we go, Sir Able. Is it your wish to stay in sight of land the whole time?"

I swallowed and said, "It's my wish to get there as quick as I can without taking any silly chances."

"Landsmen usually want to keep sight of land," the captain explained, "because they don't see how we can find our way at sea." He chuckled. "Sometimes, neither do we. But we do it, mostly. And out at sea's quicker, and safer too. Osterlings and storms are dangerous everywhere, but insh.o.r.e's the worst for both." I nodded, and said I had seen Bluestone Castle.

"Exactly. They generally creep up the coast, landing here and there. Just where depends on how many men they have, and how confident they are. They want flesh, but they want gold, too, and sometimes they want one more than the other. If they see a s.h.i.+p, they'll take it if they can overtake it. But there's a lways more flesh and more gold ash.o.r.e than at sea. Storms are equally likely in either place, but they blow a s.h.i.+p about, mostly. When they wreck one, it's ge nerally by driving it onto rocks." I said, "I doubt that I'll be much use in a storm, but I'll lead your men in a 128.

fight if they'll follow me." I did not think it would really happen. "You've got weapons for them?"

He nodded. "Pikes mostly. Boarding axes."

That explained Pouk's objection to a battle-ax.

The captain cleared his throat. "Speaking of weapons leads me to something I've got to ask you, Sir Able of the High Heart. You don't trust me, I know. And I don't blame you, but you can. I'll let bygones be bygones, if you know what I mean."

I said that was nice.

"We'll be sailing tomorrow night. May I go ash.o.r.e and get myself another, sword? I may need it."

Well, I wanted to say no. But I knew that he could get one of those boarding axes or something else like that. So I said all right.

129.

CHAPTER 18.

ALONE.

W hen I had seen everything, I went back to the captain's cabin. Pouk had made the bed and swept and mopped the floor, and was unpacking things we had bought ash.o.r.e and stowing them in chests and cupboards. I got out the scield I had promised him and put another one with it, saying that he had earned that much and more, which was the truth.

"Thankee, Sir Able. Thankee, sir." He bowed, touching his cap at the same time, something I was going to see a lot of, although I did not know it then.

"You don't have to give no more than the 'un, sir. Only I'll take 'em if you want to give 'em to me. Only I'll give 'em back if you need 'em for yourself, sir." I shook my head. "They're yours. You earned them, like I said. You might be able to hitch a ride back to sh.o.r.e on that boat the sailors are unloading, but you'd better hurry. It's about empty now."

Pouk shook his head. "I'm stayin' on, sir, with your leave. I was lookin' out sharp for a berth when you spied me on th' wharf. I've dropped my hook, if you take my meanin'."

130.

"You're planning to sail on this s.h.i.+p?" I sat down on my bed.

"Aye, sir. As your man, sir." Seeing the way I looked, he added, "You need somebody what will look out for you, sir. You're as good a man as ever I seen, an' smart, an' I'm sure you know lots out o' books. Only sometimes you're a green hand, sir. I seen it when we was fittin' up, sir. They'd o' cheated you twenty times over. So you need somebody bad--somebody that knows th'

ways."

That made me mad. Not mad at Pouk--it was pretty hard to be mad at Pouk, usually--but mad at people, mad at a world where so many were out to cheat everybody. Maybe it was because of the time in Aelfrice; I do not know. "I was a boy not long ago," I told Pouk. "It hasn't been long at all, and in lots of ways, I still am."

"Course, sir. So that's me, sir. I ain't bad as they come, but I'm plenty bad enough. Try me, an' you'll see."

"As for books, I looked into some in Irringsmouth and the writing was just black marks on the paper. I can no more read than you can, Pouk."

"You know what's in 'em, sir. That's what matters."

"I doubt it." I took a deep breath. "I do know this, though. I know I don't need a servant, and I can't afford to pay one, certainly not a scield a day."

"There you are, sir! A scield? That's wages for a month for a sailor or a stableman or just about anybody."

I said no, and I made it as firm as I knew how.

"So I'm set for a couple o' months, an' after that I'd let it ride a couple more. Only I don't want no pay, sir." He laid his two scields on the table. "Just let me stay on, an' I'll look out for myself. Why, I mixed my seabag in with your bags, sir, an' you didn't pay no mind."

I was worried about my gold, gold in the burse that hung from my belt and more in my old bag, which was hanging from my neck under my clothes. I told him he could not sleep in the cabin with me, and that was final. He grinned, seeing he had won. "Why, I don't want to, sir. I'll sleep in front o' th' door, sir, like I done last night. That way can't n.o.body get in without wakin' me up."

"On that wooden floor?" I had slept on skins and dead leaves a lot by then, but I could not imagine Pouk or anybody sleeping on bare boards. 131.

"Th' deck, sir? Sure thing, sir. I've slept out on deck many an' many a time."

"Knights sleep in their armor, sometimes," I told him. "What you do--what sailors do--must be worse. What will you do when it rains?"

"There's a bit o' set-in to your door, sir. Mebbe you didn't notice, but there is. That's what it's for, an' I've a bit o' canvas to wrap myself in." I made a last try. "You'll serve me for nothing? I warn you, Pouk, that's what I'll pay you."

"Aye, sir! See them scields, sir? You take 'em. You won't hear a word out o'

me."

"I said I wouldn't pay you, not that I'd rob you. I paid them to you. They're yours now." Then I thought about the outlaws I had killed, Bold Berthold's hut, and some other things; and I said, "It seems to me, Pouk, that a true knight has to respect other people's things, if they came by them honestly. If somebody came to rob me, I'd fight him and I might kill him. But how could I do it if I'd stolen myself?"

"I judge you're right, sir. You always are, mostly."

"So put them away. If you leave them on the table, I'll take them, I swear." He hesitated, then nodded and picked them up. "They tried to get me into th'

search party, sir. Second did, sir. Nur's his name."

"What search party?"

"Searchin' th' s.h.i.+p, sir. I dunno if they found anythin'." I thought I knew what they had been looking for, but I asked just the same.

"A dog, sir." Seeing my face, Pouk backed away. "Just a big dog, sir. Lookout seen it swim out to th' s.h.i.+p, sir, an' climb aboard. Last night it was, sir."

"But you don't know if they found it?"

"No, sir. Like I said, sir. Second was after me to help look, only I was movin'

cap'n's things out so I could put yours in, sir. Food's in that 'un, sir, an' beer's in th' corner there, an'--"

I held up my hand. "Just a minute."

"Aye aye, sir. Only I want to say, sir, that's another reason you need me, sir. Crew'll come in an' pinch it, sir, when you're not in here, sir. Food, particular. Only I'll be here an' they can't, sir."

"And you won't?" I tried to smile.

Pouk looked shocked. "Course I will. Only feedin' one's not like feedin'

132.

twenty."

"I suppose not. And you may find that you can steal less than you think. They haven't found the dog, Pouk. I know that. But I want you to ask about him just the same. Find Megister Nur, or whatever he's called, and tell him I want to know."

"Aye aye, sir. Only I was wonderin', sir. When we was ash.o.r.e an' you seen that big dog, sir, you--"

"Forget that." I felt tired and I wanted to be alone, even if it was just for a minute or two. "Go ask Megister Nur like I told you, and tell me what he says." When Pouk had gone, I took out the foreign mace I had bought in Irringsmouth and looked it over carefully. The four corners of the blade were as sharp as broken gla.s.s. The end was cut off square, a diamond-shape that somebody had painted red. I thought I would file it sharp, like a spike, and went out and found a sailor. He said the carpenter might have a file, so I sent him to borrow it. He did, but when I tried to reshape the end of the blade the file would scarcely scratch it; so I told myself that if it were sharp the whole thing would be too much like a sword anyway. Disiri was going to bring me a sword, I thought, because I did not have one; and when she did, I would see her again. So I gave the idea up.

After that I barred the door, took out my gold, and stacked the coins on the table, all while wondering what I had stopped Pouk from saying. That the brave knight Sir Able had turned pale when he saw a half-bred mastiff? That he had started as if he had seen a ghost?

That big black shape I had seen when Gylf killed the outlaws, a dog as big as horse, with dripping jaws and fangs half as long as my arm, had been the Valfather's dog. One of the Valfather's dogs, and he had a whole pack of them. Nine or ten? Fifty or a hundred? For a minute I wondered about the Valfather. What was he like, what could he be like, if he had dogs like that? I still wanted to get to his castle in the sky. In Skai. It was crazy, but I did. I wanted to go there and take Disiri with me.

I still do.

After that I looked at all the coins, counting them and really looking at them, comparing one to another. They were gold ceptres, and when I had finished I still thought they were all the real thing. When we divided up the 133.

money, I had given Ulfa and her father the copper and bra.s.s and all the silver. All the foreign coins, too; there had been a good many of those, and a lot had been gold. I had kept only the gold ceptres for my share, and I was not sorry I had, either.

Some were a little worn, but a lot were new or nearly new. I took one of the new ones to a window where I could see it clearly in the sunlight. There was a big mace on one side, not like mine but a fancy club with a crown. On the other was the king with his face turned sidewise, just like that man on the quarter. There was writing underneath his picture, probably his name, but I could not read it. It was just a bunch of marks to me. I looked at the king and tried to think what he might be like because I knew that even if I worked for Duke Marder, Duke Marder worked for him. He was young and handsome, but he looked tough and maybe a something out past tough. Like he would do whatever he wanted, and if you did not like it you better get out of his way and keep your mouth shut.

After that, Pouk knocked on the door, and I put my gold away and let him in. He said they had not found the dog, and "Second" said it had probably jumped off the s.h.i.+p again, or else the lookout had been seeing things. Pouk said, "It's your dog, ain't it, sir?"

I said no, it was a dog I had been keeping for somebody else. That felt wrong as soon as I said it, and I did not feel right about it until I called Pouk back and said, "You were right, Pouk, he's really my dog, and I'm pretty sure he's still on the s.h.i.+p. I won't tell you to look for him. If they didn't find him you won't either. But I want you to put a bucket of fresh water down in the hold where it will be a while before anybody finds it."

He said he would, and went off to do it.

And that is all about that day, except that I stayed on the s.h.i.+p because I was pretty sure the captain would sail it away if I got off. That day and the next day I learned quite a bit about s.h.i.+ps and the work sailors do, mostly by watching and asking Pouk and Kerl questions.

On the second day, a couple of hours after it got dark, we put out like the captain had said we would. Sitting in my cabin I watched the lights of Irringsmouth fade out behind us until there was nothing but dark, greasy-looking sea. Pretty soon I was going to understand it a lot better than I have ever u n-Gene Wolfe - The Knight 134 derstood people; but I did not know about that then. Then it was only something I loved, something beautiful and dangerous and tricky, like Disiri. After that, I just sat in my cabin. Maybe I got out Sword Breaker again. I do not remember. I could not have seen it very well, because I kept the cabin dark, waiting for what I thought would be coming.

Finally I thought, well, there is no Mac and no TV and no books or magazines to read. But there are feather pens in the desk, and paper and ink. I could write myself notes or make lists or something.

So I lit one of the lamps and got the stuff out of the drawer and started writing down the most important things that had happened to me, like finding a spiny orange tree in the woods, Parka, and seeing the knight that blew away in that wrecked castle. I wrote up to Disiri leaving and me finding Disira and O ssar. Then I decided to give it up. Only there was one other thing. When I picked up the list I had been writing, meaning to wad it up and toss it out the window, I looked at it. And all of a sudden I saw it was not the way we wrote at school at all. It was Aelf writing. I had not known I could do it, but I had done it and I could read it.

135.

CHAPTER 19.

THE CABLE TIER.

H ere is where I am going to make you mad. I know I am going to do it, and I do not like it, but I am. I am not going to tell you about the fight with the Osterling pirates. It still hurts, and it would hurt a lot worse if I had to write all about it. So I will not. That it happened is the main thing, and you already know that. We were only three days out of port.

The other main thing was that I got stabbed. I had bought a mail s.h.i.+rt and a helmet in Irringsmouth, and I was wearing them. The s.h.i.+rt was not a real ha uberk like a knight would wear. It had short sleeves and came down a little bit below my waist; but I was proud of it, and while our crew was putting up the net I pulled it on and put on my helmet. When I got stabbed I thought the blade had come up under it. Only it had not. It had gone right through. I saw that later.

One night down in the cable tier, when they thought I was going to die, I dreamed the whole thing over again and kept looking around for a machine gun 136.

I had lost. And the truth is I remember that dream a lot better than the real thing, and maybe some parts are mixed up. I do not know.

We were sailing as fast as we could go, with sticks tied on the yards and extra sails on them and the s.h.i.+p heeling way over and turning a streak of sea to cream, if you know what I mean. But the Osterlings were rowing hard and sailing too, and their s.h.i.+p was really narrow and had four masts, with the one in front raked way forward, and they must have had two hundred men at the oars. In a gale we might have outsailed them; I know that now. But it was pretty calm, just a good breeze, and we did not stand a chance.

I asked Kerl what they wanted, and he said, "They want to cook you and eat you." That was just in my dream, I am pretty sure, but it is the truth anyway. They wanted all of us. That is the way it works here. What you eat makes you more like it, and the closer it is to you, the more it moves you that way, if you know what I mean. You take Scaur and Sha. They ate a lot of fish, but it did not make them very much like fish, just quick and graceful, and knowing a lot about the sea. They never said their hands were cold either, or tried to warm them in front of the fire. But when they touched you, their hands were as cold as sea-water. Deer are closer, and if you eat a lot you smell things more and your ears get sharper and you can run faster. That is how it works, and sometimes I think it must be mostly in the blood, because when I drank Baki's blood it healed me a lot in just a day or so, and in certain ways I was more like one of the Aelf. I guess I still am.

That had not happened yet. At the time I am telling about it was the Osterlings that mattered. They are people, only they are not much like regular people, especially lower down. The Caan and the princes and so on are pretty human, I guess because they can get whatever they want. But the more ordinary Osterlings have faces like skulls and horrible eyes that look like they are burning holes in you. Here I am going to say something that maybe I should not say. They are thin, too. You can count their ribs and see where all the bones are underneath their skin. In America we liked people to be really thin and all the girls I knew were always trying to lose weight. West of the mountains it is not like that, and I think it is because of the Osterlings. Men are supposed to have muscles and wide shoulders and big, thick arms and legs, sort of like football players. (We 137.

are not supposed to have thick heads too, but pretty often that is the case.) Women are supposed to have big round b.r.e.a.s.t.s like grapefruits, two-balloon hips, and lots of meat on their arms and legs. Idnn was not like that, which could have been one reason she was not married already. But Gaynor always made me think that she ought to lose about twenty pounds, only I could not decide what parts I would like smaller.

So that was the way most people were in Celidon, which is where we were until we put out to sea, and it just made the Osterlings want to kill us that much more. But the fact was (I did not know this back then) that they would kill just about anything and eat it: horses and dogs, rats and cats. The net I was talking about was made out of good-sized ropes and it was there to keep people out. It was a good idea, because the ropes were hard to cut and I could shoot arrows through the holes, which I did. But they could be cut after a while, which the Osterlings did, wanting to get at us, so chain would have been better.

In my dream I could see the one who stabbed me, and see the dagger's blade coming at me, and all that. After I was stabbed I lay on the deck of the Osterling s.h.i.+p and bled and bled, and after a long, long time our captain came, shuffling his feet, and when he was standing beside me he kicked me in the face. But I do not think that really happened.

I woke up, and I had not been kicked. It was Pouk, and for a minute I did not know where I was (I thought I was back in my bedroom at home) or who Pouk was. You know how it is, sometimes, when somebody wakes you up from a dream.

"It's me, sir, Pouk Badeye. I got some water here, sir, thinkin' you might like it."

I took it, the kind of wooden mug they call a cannikin.

"It ain't good water, sir, but you can drink it. I been drinkin' it. They feedin'