Barks and Purrs - LightNovelsOnl.com
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To see ladies who shriek, and put gloved hands on my back--hands covered with dead skin?... ugh!
(_Feminine voices are heard--Hers among them--and the clear tinkling of a little bell; then the door opens and a very diminutive toy terrier enters, alone. She's black and tan, seems in love with herself, and comes forward with a mincing step_.)
THE LITTLE DOG, (_voice way up in her head_)
I'm the darling little dog, so pretty!
(TOBY _is struck dumb with admiration and astonishment_. KIKI, _indignant, has jumped on top of the piano and remains an unseen and hostile spectator_.)
THE LITTLE DOG, (_astonished at not hearing the chorus of admiration that everywhere greets her, is reciting_--)
I'm the darling little dog, so pretty! I weigh only one pound, eleven ounces, my collar is of gold, my ears of black satin, lined with s.h.i.+ny rubber, my nails are polished like the beaks of little birds. (_Catching sight of_ TOBY-DOG.) Oh!--someone--(_silence_). He's rather good-looking.
(_They ogle and strut_.)
TOBY-DOG
How tiny she is!
THE LITTLE DOG
Sir--don't come near me.
TOBY-DOG
Why not?
THE LITTLE DOG
I don't know. My mistress knows. She's not here. She stayed in the other room.
TOBY-DOG
How old are you?
THE LITTLE DOG Eleven months, (_reciting_) I'm eleven months old. At the dog show, my mother took first prize for beauty. I weigh only one pound eleven ounces and--
TOBY-DOG
You've said that already. What makes you so little?
KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_from the piano_)
She's ugly, and has an evil odor. Her paws are deformed, she can't stand still an instant, and this dog takes pains to make himself fascinating!
THE LITTLE DOG, (_very coquettish and talkative_) It's my lineage, of course. One can hold me in a m.u.f.f. You've seen my new collar? It's gold....
TOBY-DOG
And what's that hanging from it?
THE LITTLE DOG
My mother's medal, Sir. I always wear it. I come from the _Palais de Glace_, where I made quite a hit. Imagine! I wanted to bite a gentleman who was speaking to my mistress. _How_ they laughed!
(_She wriggles and chirps_.)
TOBY-DOG, (_aside_)
What an odd creature! Is she _really_ a dog? (_Sniffs_.) Yes ... smells of rice powder, but it's a dog just the same. (_Aloud_.) Sit down a moment, it makes me quite dizzy to see you moving about so.
THE LITTLE DOG
Certainly. (_She lies down, like a miniature greyhound, crossing her fore-paws to show the slimness of her toes_.) You were here all alone?
TOBY-DOG, (_looking toward the piano_)
Yes, no other dog. Why?
THE LITTLE DOG
There's a strange odor.
TOBY-DOG
The Cat, doubtless.
THE LITTLE DOG
The Cat? What's a Cat? I've never seen one. Do they leave you in the room all alone?
TOBY-DOG
It happens so now and then.
THE LITTLE DOG
And you don't bark? _I_ cry as soon as I'm left alone. I'm bored, afraid, feel sick, and chew up the cus.h.i.+ons.
TOBY-DOG
And then you're whipped.
THE LITTLE DOG, (_insulted_)
I'm--what did you say? You're losing your senses, I imagine. (_Suddenly amiable again_.) That would be a pity. You have lovely eyes.
TOBY-DOG
