The Physical Life of Woman: Advice to the Maiden, Wife and Mother Part 11

In conclusion, it may be said that peculiar sensations are often experienced, frequently of a character difficult to explain; and many modern authors attach to them a marked value. In this manner it is possible for a woman to be satisfied at the moment as to the change which has taken place; yet the evidence is often deceptive, and sometimes nothing peculiar is noticed.

From the period of conception the mother has no direct knowledge of the process that is going on within, excepting by the effects of the increasing pressure upon other parts, until 'quickening' takes place, which belongs to another part of our subject.

The signs and symptoms of pregnancy will be explained in full when we come to treat of the pregnant condition in a future chapter.

HOW TO RETAIN THE AFFECTIONS OF A HUSBAND.

Ah! this is a secret indeed!--worth the wand of the magician, the lamp of Aladdin, or the wis.h.i.+ng-cap of the fairy. What could any of these give in exchange for the love of a husband? Yet this pearl of great price, how often is it treated as lightly and carelessly as if it was any bauble of Brummagem!

'My husband,' we have heard young wives say, 'why, it is his duty to love me. Why did he marry me if he is not going to love me, love me fondly, love me ever?'

Yes, we all know

Love the gift, is love the debt.

But in this world of ours it is often hard to get one's own; and when got, our care must never cease, lest it be wrested from us. The plant you bought at the greenhouse, and that now blossoms on your window-sill, became yours by purchase, but it has required your daily care to keep it alive and persuade it to unfold its blossoms. Infinitely more delicate is this plant of love. It, too, you purchased. You gave in exchange for it your own heart. It too, you must daily tend with constant solicitude, lest it wither and die.

In this country, some women think that anything is good enough to wear at home. They go about in slatternly morning dresses, unkempt hair, and slippers down at heel. 'n.o.body will see me,' they say 'but my husband.'

Let them learn a lesson from the wives of the Orient.

In those countries a married woman never goes abroad except in long sombre robes and thick veil. An English lady visiting the wife of one of the wealthy merchants, found her always in full dress, with toilet as carefully arranged as if she were going to a ball.

'Why!' exclaimed the visitor, at length, 'is it possible that you take all this trouble to dress for n.o.body but your husband?'

'Do, then,' asked the lady in reply, 'the wives of Englishmen dress for the sake of pleasing other men?'

The visitor was mute.

Not that we would wish our women to be for ever in full costume at home.

That would be alarming. But she who neglects neatness in attire, and, above all, cleanliness of person, runs a great danger of creating a sentiment of disgust in those around her. Nothing is more repugnant to the husband's senses than bad odors, and, for reasons which every woman knows, women who neglect cleanliness are peculiarly liable to them. When simple means do not remove them, recourse should be promptly had to a medical adviser.

So it is with bad breath. This sometimes arises from neglect of the teeth, sometimes from diseases of the stomach, lungs, etc. A man of delicate olfactories is almost forced to hold at arm's length a wife with a fetid breath.

There are some women--we have treated several--who are plagued with a most disagreeable perspiration, especially about the feet, the arms, etc. Such should not marry until this is cured. It is a rule among army surgeons, to be chary about giving men their discharge from military service on surgeon's certificate. But fetid feet are at times so horribly offensive, that they are considered an allowable cause for discharge. No doubt, in some of our States they would be received as a valid ground for divorce!--certainly with quite as much reason as many of the grounds usually alleged.

In short, the judicious employment of all the harmless arts of the toilet, and of those numerous and effective means which modern science offers, to acquire, to preserve, and to embellish beauty, is a duty which woman, whether married or single, should never neglect. With very little trouble, the good looks and freshness of youth can be guarded almost to old age; and, even when hopelessly gone, simple and harmless means are at hand to repair the injuries of years, or at least to conceal them. But this is an art which would require a whole volume to treat of, and which we cannot here touch upon.

INHERITANCE.

We now come to the consideration of a very wonderful subject,--that of inheritance. It is one of absorbing interest, both because of the curious facts it presents, and of the great practical bearing it has upon the welfare of every individual.

In order to the better understanding of this matter, it is necessary at the outset to make a distinction between four kinds or varieties of inheritance. The most generally recognised is _direct inheritance_,--that in which the children partake of the qualities of the father and mother.

But a child may not resemble either parent, while it bears a striking likeness to an uncle or aunt. This const.i.tutes _indirect_ inheritance.

Again, a child may be more like one of its grandparents than either its father or mother. Or, what is still more astonis.h.i.+ng, it may display some of the characteristics possessed only by a remote ancestor. This form of inheritance is known by the scientific term _atavism_, derived from the Latin word _atavus_, meaning an ancestor. It is curious to note in this connection that sometimes a son resembles more closely his maternal than his paternal grandsire in some male attribute,--as a peculiarity of beard, or certain diseases confined to the male s.e.x.

Though the mother cannot possess or exhibit such male qualities, she has transmitted them through her blood, from her father to her son.

The fourth variety of inheritance is that in which the child resembles neither parent, but the first husband of its mother. A woman contracting a second marriage, transmits to the offspring of that marriage the peculiarities she has received through the first union. Breeders of stock know this tendency, and prevent their brood-mares, cows, or sheep from running with males of an inferior stock. Thus the diseases of a man may be transmitted to children which are not his own. Even though dead, he continues to exert an influence over the future offspring of his wife, by means of the ineffaceable impress he had made in the conjugal relation upon her whole system, as we have previously mentioned. The mother finds in the children of her second marriage

'... the touch of a vanished hand, And the sound of a voice that is still.'

A child may therefore suffer through the operation of this mysterious and inexorable law, for sins committed not by its own father, but by the first husband of its mother. What a serious matter, then, is that relation between the s.e.xes called marriage! How far-reaching are its responsibilities!

A distinction must here be drawn between hereditary transmission and the possession of qualities at birth, which have not been the result of any impression received from the system of father or mother, but due to mental influences or accidents operating through the mother. A child may be born idiotic or deformed, not because either parent or one of its ancestors was thus affected, but from the influence of some severe mental shock received by the mother during her pregnancy. This subject of maternal impressions will come up for separate consideration in the discussion of pregnancy. Again, a child may be epileptic, although there is no epilepsy in the family, simply because of the intoxication of the father or mother at the time of the intercourse resulting in conception.

Such cases are not due to hereditary transmission, for that cannot be hereditary which has been possessed by neither the parents nor any other relatives.

In considering the effects of inheritance, we will first pa.s.s in review those connected with the physical const.i.tution. These are exceedingly common and universally known. Fortunately, not merely are evil qualities inherited, but beauty, health, vigor, and longevity also.

BEAUTY.

Good looks are characteristic of certain families. Alcibiades, the handsomest among the Grecians of his time, descended from ancestors remarkable for their beauty. So well and long has the desirable influence of inheritance in this respect been recognised, that there existed in Crete an ancient law which ordained that each year the most beautiful among the young men and women should be chosen and forced to marry, in order to perpetuate the type of their beauty. Irregularities of feature are transmitted from parent to child through many generations. The aquiline nose has existed some centuries, and is yet hereditary in the Bourbon family. The hereditary under-lip of the House of Hapsburg is another example. When the poet Savage speaks of

'The tenth transmitter of a foolish face,'

he scarcely exaggerates what is often seen in families where some strongly-marked feature or expression is long predominant or reappears in successive generations.

NECK AND LIMBS.

The form and length of the neck and limbs are frequently hereditary, as is also the height of the body. The union of two tall persons engenders tall children. The father of Frederick the Great secured for himself a regiment of men of gigantic stature, by permitting the marriage of his guards only with women of similar height. A tendency to obesity often appears in generation after generation of a family. Yet such cases are within the reach of medical art.

COMPLEXION.

Even the complexion is not exempt from this influence. Blondes ordinarily procreate blondes, and dark parents have dark-skinned children. An union in marriage of fair and dark complexions results in an intermediate shade in the offspring. Not always, however; for it has been a.s.serted that the complexion chiefly follows that of the father.

The offspring of a black father and a white mother is much darker than the progeny of a white father and a dark mother. In explanation of this fact, it has been said that the mother is not impressed by her own color, because she does not look upon herself, while the father's complexion attracts her attention, and thus gives a darker tinge to the offspring. Black hens frequently lay dark eggs; but the reverse is more generally found to be the case.

PHYSICAL QUALITIES TRANSMITTED BY EACH PARENT.

In general, it may be said that there exists a tendency on the part of the father to transmit the external appearance, the configuration of the head and limbs, the peculiarities of the senses and of the skin and the muscular condition; while the size of the body, and the general temperament or const.i.tution of the child, are derived from the mother.

Among animals, the mule, which is the produce of the male a.s.s and the mare, is essentially a modified a.s.s having the general configuration of its sire, but the rounded trunk and larger size of its dam. On the other hand, the hinny, which is the offspring of the stallion and the she-a.s.s, is essentially a modified horse, having the general configuration of the horse, but being a much smaller animal than its sire, and therefore approaching the dam in size as well as in the comparative narrowness of its trunk. The operation of this principle, though general, is not universal. Exceptions may easily be cited. In almost every large family it will be observed that the likeness to the father predominates in some children, while others most resemble the mother. It is rare to meet with instances in which some distinctive traits of both parents may not be traced in the offspring.

HAIR.

Peculiarities in the colour and structure of the hair are transmitted.

Darwin mentions a family in which, for many generations, some of the members had a single lock differently coloured from the rest of the hair.

TEMPERAMENT.

The law of inheritance rules in regard to the production of the temperament. The crossing of one temperament with another in marriage, produces a modification in the offspring generally advantageous.

FERTILITY.