A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Ix Part 30

Fellow, I had rather given thee an hundred pounds than thou shouldst have put me out of my excellent meditation: by the faith of a gentleman, I was wrapp'd in contemplation.

IMMERITO.

Sir, you must pardon my father: he wants bringing up.

ACADEMICO.

Marry, it seems he hath good bringing up, when he brings up so much money. [_Aside_.]

STERCUTIO.

Indeed, sir, you must pardon me; I did not know you were a gentleman of the Temple before.

AMORETTO.

Well, I am content in a generous disposition to bear with country education: but, fellow, what's thy name?

STERCUTIO.

My name, sir? Stercutio, sir.

AMORETTO.

Why then, Stercutio, I would be very willing to be the instrument to my father, that this living might be conferred upon your son: marry, I would have you know that I have been importuned by two or three several lords, my kind cousins, in the behalf of some Cambridge man, and have almost engaged my word. Marry, if I shall see your disposition to be more thankful than other men, I shall be very ready to respect kind-natured men; for, as the Italian proverb speaketh well, _chi ha, havra_.

ACADEMICO.

Why, here is a gallant young drover of livings. [_Aside_.]

STERCUTIO.

I beseech you, sir, speak English; for that is natural to me and to my son, and all our kindred, to understand but one language.

AMORETTO.

Why thus, in plain English, I must be respected with thanks.

ACADEMICO.

This is a subtle tractive, when thanks may be felt and seen. [_Aside_.]

STERCUTIO.

And I pray you, sir, what is the lowest thanks that you will take?

ACADEMICO.

The very same method that he useth at the buying of an ox. [_Aside_.]

AMORETTO.

I must have some odd sprinkling of an hundred pounds; if so, so--I shall think you thankful, and commend your son as a man of good gifts to my father.

ACADEMICO.

A sweet world! give an hundred pounds; and this is but counted thankfulness! [_Aside_.]

STERCUTIO.

Hark thou, sir; you shall have eighty thanks.

AMORETTO.

I tell thee, fellow, I never opened my mouth in this kind so cheap before in my life: I tell thee, few young gentlemen are found that would deal so kindly with thee as I do.

STERCUTIO.

Well, sir, because I know my son to be a toward thing, and one that has taken all his learning on his own head, without sending to the university, I am content to give you as many thanks as you ask, so you will promise me to bring it to pa.s.s.

AMORETTO.

I warrant you for that, if I say it once. Repair you to the place, and stay there. For my father, he is walked abroad to take the benefit of the air: I'll meet him, as he returns, and make way for your suit.

Gallant, i'faith.[86]

[_Exeunt_ STERCUTIO _and_ IMMERITO.

ACTUS II., SCAENA 5.

ACADEMICO, AMORETTO.

ACADEMICO.

I see, we scholars fish for a living in these shallow fords without a silver hook. Why, would it not gall a man to see a spruce gartered youth of our college, a while ago, be a broker for a living and an old bawd for a benefice? This sweet sir preferred me much kindness when he was of our college, and now I'll try what wind remains in his bladder. G.o.d save you, sir.

AMORETTO.

By the ma.s.s, I fear me, I saw this _genus_ and _species_ in Cambridge before now: I'll take no notice of him now. [_Aside_.] By the faith of a gentleman, this is pretty elegy. Of what age is the day, fellow? Sirrah boy, hath the groom saddled my hunting hobby? Can Robin hunter tell where a hare sits? [_Soliloquising_.

ACADEMICO.

See a poor Old friend of yours of S---- College in Cambridge.

AMORETTO.

Good faith, sir, you must pardon me: I have forgotten you.

ACADEMICO.

My name is Academico, sir; one that made an oration for you once on the Queen's day, and a show that you got some credit by.

AMORETTO.

It may be so, it may be so; but I have forgotten it. Marry, yet I remember that there was such a fellow that I was beneficial unto in my time. But, howsoever, sir, I have the courtesy of the town for you.

I am sorry you did not take me at my father's house; but now I am in exceeding great haste, for I have vowed the death of a hare that we found this morning musing on her meaze.

ACADEMICO.

Sir, I am emboldened by that great acquaintance that heretofore I had with you, as likewise it hath pleased you heretofore--

AMORETTO.

Look, sirrah, if you see my hobby come hitherward as yet.

ACADEMICO.

--to make me some promises, I am to request your good mediation to the wors.h.i.+pful your father in my behalf: and I will dedicate to yourself, in the way of thanks, those days I have to live.

AMORETTO.

O good sir, if I had known your mind before; for my father hath already given the induction to a chaplain of his own--to a proper man--I know not of what university he is.

ACADEMICO.

Signior Immerito, they say, hath bidden fairest for it.