A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Ix Part 11

_Enter_ YOUNG ARTHUR.

Y. ART. Good morrow, gentleman; saw you not this way, As you were walking, Sir Aminadab?

ANS. Master Arthur, as I take it?

Y. ART. Sir, the same.

ANS. Sir, I desire your more familiar love: Would I could bid myself unto your house, For I have wish'd for your acquaintance long.

Y. ART. Sweet Master Anselm, I desire yours too; Will you come dine with me at home to-morrow?

You shall be welcome, I a.s.sure you, sir.

ANS. I fear, sir, I shall prove too bold a guest.

Y. ART. You shall be welcome, if you bring your friend.

FUL. O Lord, sir, we shall be too troublesome.

Y. ART. Nay, now I will enforce a promise from you: Shall I expect you?

FUL. Yes, with all my heart.

ANS. A thousand thanks. Yonder's the schoolmaster.

So, till to-morrow, twenty times farewell.

Y. ART. I double all your farewells twenty-fold.

ANS. O, this acquaintance was well sc.r.a.p'd of me; By this my love to-morrow I shall see.

[_Exeunt_ ANSELM _and_ FULLER.

_Enter_ AMINADAB.

AMIN. This poison shall by force expel _Amorem_, love, _infernum_, h.e.l.l.

_Per hoc venenum, ego_, I For my sweet lovely la.s.s will die.

Y. ART. What do I hear of poison; which sweet means Must make me a brave frolic widower?

It seems the doting fool, being forlorn, Hath got some compound mixture in despair, To end his desperate fortunes and his life; I'll get it from him, and with this make way To my wife's night and to my love's fair day.

AMIN. _In nomine domini_, friends, farewell!

I know death comes, here's such a smell!

_Pater et mater_, father and mother, _Frater et soror_, sister and brother, And my sweet Mary, not these drugs Do send me to the infernal bugs, But thy unkindness; so, adieu!

Hob-goblins, now I come to you.

Y. ART. Hold, man, I say! what will the madman do?

[_Takes away the supposed poison_.

Ay, have I got thee? thou shalt go with me. [_Aside_.

No more of that; fie, Sir Minadab!

Destroy yourself! If I but hear hereafter You practise such revenge upon yourself, All your friends shall know that for a wench-- A paltry wench--you would have kill'd yourself.

AMIN. _O tace, quaeso_; do not name This frantic deed of mine for shame.

My sweet _magister_, not a word; I'll neither drown me in a ford, Nor give my neck such a scope, T'embrace it with a hempen rope; I'll die no way, till nature will me, And death come with his dart, and kill me, If what is pa.s.s'd you will conceal, And nothing to the world reveal; Nay, as Quintillian said of yore, I'll strive to kill myself no more.

Y. ART. On that condition I'll conceal this deed: To-morrow, pray, come and dine with me; For I have many strangers; 'mongst the rest, Some are desirous of your company.

You will not fail me?

AMIN. No, in sooth; I'll try the sharpness of my tooth; Instead of poison, I will eat Rabbits, capons, and such meat; And so, as Pythagoras says, With wholesome fare prolong my days.

But, sir, will Mistress Mall be there?

Y. ART. She shall, she shall; man, never fear.

AMIN. Then my spirit becomes stronger, And I will live and stretch longer; For Ovid said, and did not lie, That poison'd men do often die: But poison henceforth I'll not eat, Whilst I can other victuals get.

To-morrow, if you make a feast, Be sure, sir, I will be your guest.

But keep my counsel, _vale tu_!

And, till to-morrow, sir, adieu!

At your table I will prove, If I can eat away my love. [_Exit_.

Y. ART. O, I am glad I have thee; now devise A way how to bestow it cunningly; It shall be thus: to-morrow I'll pretend A reconcilement 'twixt my wife and me, And to that end I will invite thus many-- First Justice Reason, as the chief man there; My father Arthur, old Lusam, young Lusam.

Master Fuller and Master Anselm I have bid already; Then will I have my lovely Mary too, Be it but to spite my wife, before she die; For die she shall before to-morrow night.

The operation of this poison is Not suddenly to kill; they that take it Fall in a sleep, and then 'tis past recure, And this will I put in her cup to-morrow.

_Enter_ PIPKIN, _running_.

PIP. This 'tis to have such a master! I have sought him at the 'Change, at the school, at every place, but I cannot find him nowhere.

[_Sees_ M. ART.]

O, cry mercy! my mistress would entreat you to come home.

Y. ART. I cannot come to-night; some urgent business Will all this night employ me otherwise.

PIP. I believe my mistress would con you as much thank to do that business at home as abroad.

Y. ART. Here, take my purse, and bid my wife provide Good cheer against to-morrow; there will be Two or three strangers of my late acquaintance.

Sirrah, go you to Justice Reason's house; Invite him first with all solemnity; Go to my father's and my father-in-law's; Here, take this note-- The rest that come I will invite myself: About it with what quick despatch thou can'st.

PIP. I warrant you, master, I'll despatch this business with more honesty than you'll despatch yours. But, master, will the gentlewoman be there?

Y. ART. What gentlewoman?

PIP. The gentlewoman of the old house, that is as well known by the colour she lays on her cheeks, as an alehouse by the painting is laid on his lattice; she that is, like _h.o.m.o_, common to all men; she that is beholden to no trade, but lives of herself.

Y. ART. Sirrah, begone, or I will send you hence.

PIP. I'll go [_aside_]; but, by this hand, I'll tell my mistress as soon as I come home that mistress light-heels comes to dinner to-morrow. [_Exit_.

Y. ART. Sweet Mistress Mary, I'll invite myself: And there I'll frolic, sup, and spend the night.

My plot is current; here 'tis in my hand Will make me happy in my second choice: And I may freely challenge as mine own, What I am now enforc'd to seek by stealth.

Love is not much unlike ambition; For in them both all lets must be remov'd 'Twixt every crown and him that would aspire; And he that will attempt to win the same Must plunge up to the depth o'er head and ears, And hazard drowning in that purple sea: So he that loves must needs through blood and fire, And do all things to compa.s.s his desire.