A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Vii Part 71

MRS GOUR. I'll thrust it in thy face, then.

MRS BAR. But you shall not.

MRS GOUR. Let go, I say.

MRS BAR. Let you go, for 'tis mine.

MRS GOUR. But my possession says, it is none of thine.

MRS BAR. Nay, I have hold too.

MRS GOUR. Well, let go thy hold, Or I will spurn thee.

MRS BAR. Do; I can spurn thee too.

MRS GOUR. Canst thou?

MRS BAR. Ay, that I can.

_Enter_ MASTER GOURSEY _and_ MASTER BARNES, [PHILIP, FRANK, &c.]

MR GOUR. Why, how now, women? how unlike to women Are ye both now! come, part, come, part, I say.

MR BAR. Why, what immodesty is this in you!

Come, part, I say; fie, fie.

MRS BAR. Fie, fie? I say she shall not have my torch.-- Give me thy torch, boy:--I will run a-tilt, And burn out both her eyes in my encounter.

MRS GOUR. Give room, and let us have this hot career[429].

MR GOUR. I say ye shall not: wife, go to, tame your thoughts, That are so mad with fury.

MR BAR. And, sweet wife, Temper your rage with patience; do not be Subject so much to such misgovernment.

MRS BAR. Shall I not, sir, when such a strumpet wrongs me?

MR GOUR. How, strumpet, Mistress Barnes! nay, I pray, hark ye: I oft indeed have heard ye call her so, And I have thought upon it, why ye should Twit her with name of strumpet; do you know Any hurt by her, that you term her so?

MR BAR. No, on my life; rage only makes her say so.

MR GOUR. But I would know whence this same rage should come; Where's smoke, there's fire; and my heart misgives My wife's intemperance hath got that name;-- And, Mistress Barnes, I doubt and shrewdly[430] doubt, And some great cause begets this doubt in me, Your husband and my wife doth wrong us both.

MR BAR. How, think ye so? nay, Master Goursey, then, You run in debt to my opinion, Because you pay not such advised wisdom, As I think due unto my good conceit.

MR GOUR. Then still I fear I shall your debtor prove.

[MR BAR.] Then I arrest you in the name of love; Not bail, but present answer to my plea; And in the court of reason we will try, If that good thoughts should believe jealousy.

PHIL. Why, look ye, mother, this is 'long of you.-- For G.o.d's sake, father, hark? why, these effects Come still from women's malice: part, I pray.-- Coomes, Will, and Hodge, come all, and help us part them!-- Father, but hear me speak one word--no more.

FRAN. Father, but hear him[431] speak, then use your will.

PHIL. Cry peace between ye for a little while.

MRS GOUR. Good husband, hear him speak

MRS BAR. Good husband, hear him.

COOMES. Master, hear him speak; he's a good wise young stripling for his years, I tell ye, and perhaps may speak wiser than an elder body; therefore hear him.

HOD. Master, hear; and make an end; you may kill one another in jest, and be hanged in earnest.

MR GOUR. Come, let us hear him. Then speak quickly, Philip.

MR BAR. Thou shouldst have done ere this; speak, Philip, speak.

MRS BAR. O Lord, what haste you make to hurt yourselves!-- Good Philip, use some good persuasions To make them friends.

PHIL. Yes, I'll do what I can.-- Father and Master Goursey, both attend.

It is presumption in so young a man To teach where he might learn, or to[432] direct, Where he hath had direction; but in duty He may persuade as long as his persuase Is back'd with reason and a rightful suit.

Physic's first rule is this, as I have learned: Kill the effect by cutting off the cause.

The same effects of ruffian outrages Comes by the cause of malice in your wives; Had not they two been foes, you had been friends, And we had been at home, and this same war In peaceful sleep had ne'er been dreamt upon.

Mother and Mistress Goursey, to make them friends, Is to be friends yourselves: you are the cause, And these effects proceed, you know, from you; Your hates gives life unto these killing strifes, But die, and if that envy[433] die in you.-- Fathers, yet stay.--O, speak!--O, stay a while!-- Francis, persuade thy mother.--Master Goursey, If that my mother will resolve[434] your mind[435]

That 'tis but mere suspect, not common proof, And if my father swear he's innocent, As I durst p.a.w.n my soul with him he is, And if your wife vow truth and constancy, Will you be then persuaded?

MR GOUR. Philip, if thy father will remit The wounds I gave him, and if these conditions May be performed, I banish all my wrath.

MR BAR. And if thy mother will but clear me, Philip, As I am ready to protest I am, Then Master Goursey is my friend again.

PHIL. Hark, mother; now you hear that your desires May be accomplished; they will both be friends, If you'll perform these easy articles.

MRS BAR. Shall I be friends with such an enemy?

PHIL. What say you[436] unto my persuase?

MRS BAR. I say she's[437] my deadly enemy.

PHIL. Ay, but she will be your friend, if you revolt.

MRS BAR. The words I said! what, shall I eat a truth?

PHIL. Why, hark ye, mother.

FRAN. Mother, what say you?

MRS GOUR. Why, this I say, she slandered my good name.

FRAN. But if she now deny it, 'tis no defame.