A Woman's Will Part 47

"You do love me," and started to seize her in his arms forgetful of lights, streets, pa.s.sers-by, and all other good reasons for self-restraint.

But just then the cab stopped before the door of No. 6, the cabman descended.

There was no further question as to _les convenances_.

Chapter Twelve

"BUDA-PESTH.

"DEAR ROSINA,--If you're laid up I might just as well take a week more in this direction. Plenty to see, I find, and lots of jolly company lying around loose. I'll get back about the twelfth and we'll plan to skip then as fast as we can. Keep on writing Poste Restante, Buda, and I'll have them forward. Don't try to fool me any by being too sick to sail. I've got to go the nineteenth and you must too.

"Lovingly, "JACK."

She sat in the little salon the night of October fifth and read the above affectionate epistle which the postman had brought to keep her company, because every one else in the house was gone to the famous concert of the famous pianist.

She could not go; that little episode in the Englischergarten and all the attendant agitation had put her in bed for three days and rendered her quite unable to go out for two or three more. She had been obliged to write Jack that she was ill, with the above results, and she read his answer with the sensation that life was long, the future empty, and none of its vistas worth contemplating. Her heart ached dully--it was forever aching dully these days, and she--

There was a tap at the door. Europe has no open-door policy, be it known; all doors are always shut. Even those of _pension_ salons.

She looked up, and saw him coming in, his violin case in his hand. Then life and its vistas underwent a great transformation, because he smiled upon her and, putting the case down carefully, came eagerly to kiss her hand.

"_Vous allez bien ce soir?_" he asked pleasantly, standing before her chair and looking down into her face.

"Oh, I am almost well, thank you; but why are you not gone to the concert?"

He pointed to his violin with a smile.

"It is a concert that I bring to you who may not go out," he said.

"But you are making a tremendous sacrifice for me, monsieur."

He stood before her, twisting his moustache.

"It is that I am regretful for the other night," he said briefly, "for that I am glad to give the concert up and make you some pleasure. The other night--"

"Don't," she pleaded uncomfortably; "never mind all that. Let it all go."

"But I would ask your pardon. _J'etais tout-a-fait fou!_"

"If I have anything to forgive it shall be forgiven you when you play.

Do so now, please. Oh, you have no idea how impatient I am to hear you."

He stared through her and beyond her for several seconds, and then came back to himself with a start.

"Then I do play," he exclaimed, and went to where he had placed the case of rosewood, and lifting it from the small table, set it on the floor and knelt before it, as a priest at some holy shrine. She leaned her head against the chair back and watched him, her eyes searching each detail of his appearance without her spirit being cognizant of the hunger which led to the seeking, of the soul-cry which strove to fortify itself against the inevitable that each hour was bringing nearer.

He felt in his pocket for his key-ring, chose from the many one particular key, inserted it, turned it, left it sticking in the hole, and then, with a curious breathless tightening of the lips, he raised the lid, put aside the knit wool s.h.i.+eld of white and violet, and with the tender care which a mother bestows upon a very tiny baby lifted the violin from its resting-place. As he did so his eye travelled with a sudden keen anxiety over its every detail, as if the possibility of harm was ever present, and as he held it to his ear and snapped the strings one after another, she beheld with something akin to awe the dawning of another nature upon his face, of another light within his eyes, the strange light of that abnormal, unworldly gift which G.o.d gave man and which we have elected to call by the name of genius. As he rested there before her, tightening one cord, trying another, listening to a third, she realized--with a sorrowful sense of her own remoteness at the minute--that this man was some one who, in spite of all their hours of intercourse, she had never met before.

He loosened the bow from its b.u.t.tons and rose slowly to his feet. His eyes sought hers, and he said dreamily:

"What shall I play?" even while his fingers were forming dumb notes, and the uplifted bow quivered in the air as if impatient.

"Oh," she said, acutely conscious of her inferiority,--of the ten thousand leagues of difference between his grandeur and her commonplace,--"play what you will."

He hardly seemed to hear, his eyes roved over the little salon as if its walls were gone, and he beheld a horizon illimitless. He just slightly knit his brows and then he bowed his head above the instrument and said briefly:

"Listen!"

And she listened.

And the unvoiceable wonder of his magic!

It was an intangible echo of the Tonhalle at Zurich, with the music that they had heard there sounding as the waves lapped up against the embankment and the crowd laughed and chatted after; those strains to which she had then been deaf on account of her agitation came back now, and the thrill of her pain was there still, rising and falling amidst the music and the water breaking up against the stones. While she waited on the verge of tears, the whole s.h.i.+fted to Constance, and through the slow sweep of the steamers coming into the harbor sounded the "Souvenir"

of Vieuxtemps, drifting across the rose-laden air and carrying her back to the minutes when--Ah, when! She put her hand before her eyes and it was not the cords of his violin, but the sinews of her soul which responded to his bow. That which man may not voice he played, and that which our ears may not hear she absorbed into the depths of her being.

Something within them each burst bonds and met at last, but neither knew it then, and the wonder carried her out upon the bosom of the Bodensee, showed her the charm of its gracious peace, and then drifted as the breezes drift, to the concert in the open air that is given each day by the Feldherrnhalle, a concert that knows no discord, because the murmur of life, the calls of the birds, the splas.h.i.+ng of the fountains, and the light-hearted joy of the crowd around, all meet and mingle in its chorus. He echoed them all with the sublimity of the power which he controlled, and all--bird-calls, fountain-drip, desultory laughter, and careless joy, all flowed from him, and took from him as they flowed that subtle and precious subconsciousness which lines our every cloud with the infinite hope that is better than all else in this world.

She leaned forward breathlessly, her fingers interlaced around her knees; her eyes had grown as dark as his own, her heart stood still, and between its throbs she asked herself if _this_ was the secret of their sympathy,--if _this_ was the basis of his mastery.

Then there was silence in the room and he stood motionless, his eyes on the floor, the violin still resting against his shoulder in its rightful position, above his heart, quite touching his head.

She did not speak and he did not speak,--neither knew for how long that period of silence endured. But after a while he lowered the instrument and looked at her.

"You like, yes?" he said with a faint smile.

"Can you ask?"

He laid his hand upon a vase that sat upon the table and shook his head.

"All this is not good, you know," he said, as if communing with himself alone; "here is no room for the music to spread. All these," he pointed to another ornament, "are so very, very bad. But some day, perhaps," he added, with another smile, "you will hear me in a good place."

Then he raised the violin to position once more.

"Choose what you will have," he told her.

"Oh, forget that I am here," she pleaded, speaking with a startled hushedness, as if no claim of conventional politeness might dare intrude itself upon that bewildering hour, "do not remember that I am here,--play as you would if you were quite alone."

"That is very well," he said, with a recurrence to his unseeing stare and dreamy tone, "because for me you really are not here. Nothing is here;--the violin is not here;--I am myself not here;--only the music exists. And if I talk," he added slowly, "the inspiration may leave me."

He went beside the piano and turned his back towards her, and then his prayer made itself real and his love found words....

She wept, and when he ceased to play he remained standing in silence as the very reverent rest for a short interval after the termination of holy service....

After a while he moved to where the case lay open on the floor and knelt again, laying his instrument carefully in its place and covering it with its little knit wool quilt. Then he locked the lid down, replaced the keys in his pocket, and, rising, seemed to return to earth.

"Can you understand now," he asked, taking a chair by her side,--"can you understand now how it would be for me if I lost my power to create music?"