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I said impulsively, "Let me come with you."
He shook his head and moved rapidly toward the tent flap. "He only wants to see me, and I'm wholly to blame for whatever has happened. You weren't there." He left without another word.
I wasn't there. Those are the words that have been haunting me all this afternoon while I await Carle's return a if he is returning. I wasn't there, and I wasn't there because the Jackal didn't want me to be there. Have I betrayed my fellow Emorian after all? Is Carle now in danger because of me?
Danger indeed. Carle returned to the tent a short while ago and announced his presence by hurling his royal emblem brooch into the corner.
"Cursed be the spirit of my father!" he shouted. His face was as red as it had been white when he left. "I ought to have known that any wine of friends.h.i.+p he offered me would be poisoned."
"What happened?" I asked, my alarm having reached its peak. "What did the Chara say?"
Carle, though, took no notice of my words; he was still staring darkly at the brooch in the corner. "That dog-bred, mud-dwelling, perfidious man! He always knew how to hurt those under his care the most. I might have known that he would pick an appropriate revenge. Not only does he reveal to me how ignorant I am of the law, but he stabs me through to the very heart of my spirit by tricking me into doing the one thing I'd sworn I'd never again do: be disloyal to the Chara. If my father were still alive, I'd-"
"Carle!" I cried. "For the G.o.ds' sake, what has happened?"
I had lapsed into Border Koretian; this was probably what attracted Carle's attention. He turned his head, and there crept onto his face that dark, sickening smile he had inherited from his father. It was directed, I knew, not at me but at his father's spirit.
"It is treason to wear the royal emblem," he explained lightly. "Only the Chara and the Chara To Be may wear the emblem. Anyone else who wears it is considered a pretender to the throne. It is a crime under the Law of Grave Iniquity, and it is punishable by the high doom of death by torture."
A Slave's Death. That was the common name for the week-long death reserved for disobedient palace slaves and the most treacherous free-men. I ought to have been overwhelmed by the image of Carle being slowly broken by the branding, the racking, the gelding, and all the rest, but only one thought remained in my mind: He tricked me. The Jackal tricked me.
"Carle, they can't do this to you!" My voice came out as a whimper, so close was I to weeping. "I'll go to the Chara; I'll tell him it was all my fault. I was the one who persuaded you to wear the brooch, and if I had been there, you wouldn't have hidden in the back and been seen by the Chara. I'm to blame for all this, and I should bear the punishment. I'll invoke the Sacrifice division ... I'll make them do it to me instead-"
I stopped. Within a short time after I began talking, the darkness of Carle's smile had disappeared. All that was left was his pure, crooked smile, accompanied by his wise eyes watching as I made my wild and needless offer. I ducked my head and felt my ears burn.
"Would you really have done that?" he asked quietly. "Would you really have given up your life for me like that?"
"I'm a fool." My voice was m.u.f.fled by the tears that still clogged my throat. "I ought to have known that it would only take the Chara an instant to see how loyal you are. It was stupid of me to think that you needed my help."
"I might have needed it." Carle's voice was still soft. "And how many men, do you think, would have troubled even to offer witness in defense of a man who had broken one of the Great Three? By the laws, it takes an event like this to offer me supreme proof of who my truest friend is."
I looked up and found myself barely able to bear the look that pa.s.sed between us. Perhaps Carle felt the same way, for he turned abruptly away and went over to pick up the brooch from the dust. "Well, it's as you say a not so much that the Chara saw I was loyal, no doubt, but that he must have seen I was too much of a fool to be plotting treason. He was very kind to me and asked after my family. He remembered my father from when they grew up together at the palace, and he remembered me because of our border-breaching prank. I continued to be such a fool that I wasted his time by babbling to him about how I wanted to work for a town council some day. I'm lucky he didn't fall asleep from boredom. He even said that I could keep the brooch, since it was a family heirloom. Needless to say, I'm going to put it away in a box and never let it see daylight again."
"But you had the chance to talk with the Chara," I said, looking for some comfort in the midst of this disaster.
Carle turned back from the corner, holding the brooch in one hand. He was smiling again. "I was able to talk with the Chara. Some day, when I am dying and I review the accomplishments of my life, that will still be at the top of my list: I once spoke with the Chara. And you're right, Adrian: you're entirely to blame for what happened, and I owe it all to you."
I felt and continue to feel uncomfortable because I know that what Carle said wasn't true, not wholly. Carle owes his good fortune, not so much to me, as to the Jackal, yet I will never be able to tell him that his dearest dream came true through the help of a Koretian G.o.d. I still don't understand why the Jackal did this for Carle. But I remember telling the G.o.d that I wanted to do two things: to make a sacrifice for Carle and to make a sacrifice for the Chara. It is good to know that at least one of my own dreams has come true.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN.
The first day of September in the 943rd year a.g.l.
I'm writing these words from the patrol hut, which is chilly tonight, since the autumn winds have already started. It is likely, I think, that the snows will begin earlier than expected this year, but the patrol soldiers, having been forewarned by their earlier brush with death, will no doubt take appropriate cautions and retreat from the mountains in time. Of course, I will not be here to witness that.
Carle is here tonight as well; I can just hear his voice rising up in triumph as he wins another Law Link over the others. Their fire is beyond my view from where I sit, but it is comforting to hear their voices, raised in the ancient game of law that will no doubt continue long after all of us here tonight are gone. Even the last link that I heard no longer frightens me, though earlier today it seemed for a while as heavy on me as the chain that binds an unwilling slave.
My first clue to its arrival came this morning, when I received word that Captain Radley wished to speak with me. I went to his tent and was surprised to see Carle standing outside, awaiting entrance.
"I thought that you had left for Koretia," I said.
Carle shook his head. "My mission was cancelled; I've no idea why. Perhaps the captain thinks that matters are too unsettled there at the moment, what with the recent fighting near the border. I vow, if the Koretians don't find some way of controlling their blood-thirst, we'll eventually see this war spill over into Emor."
"Perhaps it would be well if it did," I responded. "Then the Chara would be forced to bring Emorian civilization to that land."
"Perhaps," said Carle, but I could see that he was distracted. His mind, I knew, was still on his recent meeting with the Chara. He brought himself back to his surroundings with an effort and said, "What dirty mission does the captain have planned for you?"
"I really don't know," I replied. "Do you suppose that he has called us both here so that we can work together on-"
"Lieutenant!" It was the voice of Radley's orderly; Carle and I both looked his way. "Lieutenant Carle," the orderly clarified. "Oh, and you might as well go in as well, Lieutenant Adrian. The captain is expecting you."
Carle raised his eyebrows at me, then stepped aside and allowed me to enter the tent first. I took advantage of his offer, and that was my first mistake. Perhaps it was my last one too; I don't think I could have changed anything that happened afterwards.
As I entered the tent, I realized my mistake from Radley's expression. His eyes narrowed as he looked at me. By the time that Carle entered, though, Radley's expression had taken on a curious blankness, the sort of look he usually reserves for distinguished but not high-ranked visitors to the headquarters. "Ah, Lieutenant Carle," he said, fingering the doc.u.ment in front of him. "I have a message that needs to be taken over to the Great Council's quarters. It is highly confidential, so I am depending on you to see that it reaches the right person. You are to give it to the council clerk and wait for an answer. No doubt," he added, spreading his lips in a thin smile, "you can find ways to occupy yourself while awaiting the reply."
The slight twitch of Carle's dagger hand revealed his thoughts, but he said no more than, "Yes, sir," and took the sealed letter from Radley.
I carefully avoided Carle's eye, lest he make the mistake of exchanging glances with me. The way that Radley had failed to acknowledge my presence while Carle was there told me that trouble was coming. And in fact Carle had no sooner left than Radley's eyes narrowed once more. His voice growing thin and unpleasant, he said, "I see, lieutenant, that you have taken it upon yourself to elevate your rank to such a degree that you not only precede those senior to you but you also enter a captain's tent unannounced. I congratulate you on your advancement."
I remained silent, not wis.h.i.+ng to reveal the orderly's error in allowing me entrance. Radley drummed his fingers on the table as he squinted at me. Then he said, "Well, Koretian spy, I have been going through your records, and I see that your mult.i.tudinous talents have been wasted in one respect."
He was obviously waiting for a response, so I asked, "In what way, sir?"
"Why, here we have a spy whose greatest value a I might say your only value, but I do not want to be prejudiced a is your ability to a.s.similate into Koretian life. Yet it appears that Captain Wystan never took full advantage of this fact and sent you back to your own village."
I opened my mouth, then closed it again at Radley's look. He continued, "I hear from other spies that there has been considerable unrest in Mountside and its neighboring villages because of the recent fighting in the borderland. I want to know whether the Jackal has been to Mountside recently. You are to go to your village, find some old acquaintance there, and uncover this information. It is an easy and quick mission, so I will expect you to report here seven days from now a eight at the most. You are dismissed."
After a while, he looked up from his papers again and said sharply, "I said that you were dismissed, lieutenant."
"Sir, may I have permission to speak?"
"No, you may not. I have this" a he indicated the pile of papers on his desk a "to get through before noonday, when I am to meet with the subcommander. If you have any questions about your mission, you may ask my orderly."
"Sir-" My voice was so dry that I had to stop to swallow, and this gave Radley time to cut me off.
"Lieutenant," he said, his voice thinning to a whine, "I know that you have a difficult time understanding orders, but this one is clear enough: Leave."
I swallowed again and said rapidly, "Sir, I am sorry, sir, but I really must speak. I have additional information that may affect my ability to complete the mission, sir."
There was a long pause in which the loudest noise in the tent was my heart, which sounded like a Marcadian war drum. Then Radley said, "Very well. Make it short."
I knew he would not stand for a long explanation, so I tried to compress a month's worth of lessons about Koretian customs into two sentences. "Sir, when I left the village, I broke a blood vow I had made to my family. In the eyes of my people, I am G.o.d-cursed, and because of that, there is not a man in the village, not even my own father, who would not capture me the moment he saw me and turn me over to the priest for execution."
Radley looked at me through thin-slitted eyes. "I see. Well, lieutenant, I will offer you a choice. Either you go on this mission as ordered, or you can deliver to the army court summoners my request for your summoning on the charge of disobedience to an army official. Such a charge would be entered into your records and, if you were found guilty by the army judge, you would be sentenced to up to thirty lashes. Which action do you prefer to take, lieutenant?"
It was a warm day, and the sun streamed in brightly through the tent flap, but the day suddenly seemed very cold and dark. Almost, I thought, I could be sitting in a cave, watching snow whirl to the ground. And if that were the case, I would be listening to myself speak certain words that were more powerful than any blood vow.
"I will obey your orders, sir," I heard myself say.
A smile crept onto Radley's face. "I knew that you were lying," he said.
"Sir?"
"I was testing you, Koretian spy; you fell right into my trap." Radley leaned back in his chair, folding his hands together in a satisfied manner. "I do not know what your true reason is for not wanting to return to your home, and I do not care. You had your chance to tell me the truth. I know that what you said was a falsehood, because if you really feared for your life, you would not be scared at the idea of being beaten instead."
I felt a painful hollowness in my chest, as though a great weight of stone was lying upon my ribs. I knew that it would be of no use to speak further, but I said, "I was telling the truth, sir. I just do not wish to disobey your orders."
"I am sure that you can come up with an explanation for what you did." Radley leaned forward again and took up his pen. "I have no intention of wasting my morning listening to your pathetic Koretian deceits. I am finished with you, lieutenant. You may go."
"Yes, sir." I doubt that he heard me; my voice came out as no more than a whisper this time. I turned and walked stiffly to the tent entrance; then I looked back. Pulling my dagger from its sheath, I held it flatwise against my face for a moment before sheathing it once more. Radley did not look up.
Four hours later, Carle said, "By the law, I'm glad that you're still here. I thought that you would have left me by now."
I didn't look up as he sat down next to me, both of us leaning back against the exterior of the inner palace wall. My eyes were fixed on a mountain near the horizon. I said, "Do you think that you'll be buried in your family's graveyard, Carle?"
"I expect so. What makes you ask?"
"I was thinking that must be nice, to have your whole body in a place of rest like that. I like it better than the Koretian custom of burning bodies."
"What gloomy thoughts for a beautiful day! Here, have this to cheer you."
I took the bag automatically from his hands; then I saw what I was holding and was startled out of my thoughts. "Where in the name of the dead Charas did you get these, Carle?"
Carle chuckled as I stared down at the nuts. "That's what took me so long: I was driving a long, hard bargain with a Daxion merchant at the city market. I managed to bring him down to a price that did not deplete all my savings. No, keep them," he said as I began to hand them back. "They're for you a they're a birthday present."
I gave him a blank look.
He misinterpreted my look and laughed. "Did you think I'd forgotten what day it is? I remembered you had said that you'd like to try Daxion nuts some time. Look, are you headed back to Koretia on a mission?"
"Yes," I said faintly.
"Good!" Carle laid his arm over my shoulders. "Because I have news that I want our old unit to hear. I'll tell you first, of course, but I'd rather tell you when we reach the patrol a or rather, when they reach us. They've grown so good, I doubt that even you or I could slip by them if we were trying to break our way into Emor."
"Well," I said, my gaze returning to Carle's home near the horizon, "you don't have to do that. You can return to Emor any time you want."
"Your command of the Emorian tongue is slipping, lieutenant a watch the number of your p.r.o.nouns. Come on!" Carle jumped to his feet. "Let's start back, and you can tell me all about your new mission."
I stood up, my look lingering on the northern Emorian view. "I'll tell you tonight," I said. "We can exchange confidences, and then we can try those nuts and see whether they're as good as they're supposed to be. Thank you for buying them for me."
"I'd thought of waiting till next year, when I'll have more money," said Carle, springing down the hillside ahead of me. "But then I thought, Why wait? Life is too short. -Adrian, you're becoming slow in your old age; I'll race you to the gate."
I watched him for a moment, leaping forward with his light, smooth rhythm. Then I began to run also, and in the end, I beat him to the goal.
It was an odd journey to the mountains that day. I remained silent most of the time, but Carle scarcely noticed. He was chatting away about rank, about even the least important men in the empire contributing to the empire's welfare. It was the sort of topic we had discussed many times before, and I wondered what had brought the subject fresh to his mind. In an odd way, I found his words comforting, especially when he said, "You know, even the smallest duty is worth fulfilling. You never know how a tiny job you do will link itself up in such a way that you bring glory to the Chara and his law."
I nodded, unable to trust myself to speak.
Quentin, though, did not need speech to read me. He was on his way out with the night patrol when we arrived, so he would ordinarily have done no more than exchange a greeting with me, but I saw his gaze rest on me as Carle began to offer the others his friendly insults about how lax they had become in their performance since our departure. After a minute, Quentin said, "May I have a word with you, lieutenant?"
I nodded, and he waved ahead the remainder of the night patrol, taking me outside of the hut to stand by the tunnel. Nearby, the day patrol was starting to build a fire.
"Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked without preliminary.
My head had been slightly bowed a I told myself that this was only in order to keep my eye on my step a so that my gaze rose with what must have been a sudden jerk. For a moment I stared at Quentin; then I realized that he had no more than a vague notion that I was in trouble.
Well, he was only a lieutenant, and we were not even under the command of the same captain. Telling him would do no good, but would only distress him. "I don't think so," I replied. "It's something I'll have to deal with alone, I think."
Quentin tilted his head. Even at this moment, his eyes were scanning the horizon, and I knew that he was hearing more than I was. "Can Carle help?"
I stared at the ground again. "I'm not sure."
Quentin turned his head suddenly, and a moment later there came the low sound of a whistle rising, then falling again. Quentin lightly touched the hilt of his sword and began to slide away from my side. Then he stopped and placed a hand on my arm. "Ask him," he advised quietly. "I know he'll help you if he can." He paused, unsheathed his sword, and saluted me. "Good hunting."
With no more sound than a soft breath, he was gone.
Carle was over by the fire, beckoning to me. As I came forward, he showed me two flasks. "Wall-vine or wild-berry?" he asked with a quirk of a smile.
I wondered whether, if I asked for wild-berry, he would be startled out of his obliviousness. "Wall-vine, please," I said, and took the flask he offered me.
The others were sitting on the rocks within the hollow, but Carle gestured me closer to the fire, where we would not be heard over the fire's rumble. The nut bag was awaiting us there. I picked it up and handed it to Carle, saying, "You first."
Carle rustled around in the bag until he had found a nut that satisfied him. He cracked and peeled off the sh.e.l.l, popped the meat of the nut into his mouth, and chewed on it for a while, his face adopting a look of careful judgment.
"Well?" I said.
"Fairly good. In fact," he added with a grin, "if I had a n.o.bleman's income, I might want to eat these all the time. Now you."
He offered the bag to me, but I shook my head, saying, "Let the others eat their share. I'll take whatever is left."
"Generous man," commented Carle, claiming another few nuts out of the bag. "You'll regret it, you know. Hold a bit-" He got up and went over to where the others were sitting.
I stayed where I was, staring at the tongue-red flames before me. For some reason, it was the thought of fire that bothered me most a having my corpse burnt, being eaten by the Jackal. Then another thought came into my mind: perhaps they wouldn't wait until I was dead before they brought the fire. This had all begun with a young man burning alive; perhaps they would consider it fitting to end it that way as well.
I huddled my arms around my knees. The autumn winds had already begun in the mountains, and I was without a cloak. Not fire, I thought. Please, not fire. Let it end with a blade.
A shadow fell over me: it was Carle, standing above me with a wine flask in his hand.
"So tell me about this mission," he said, settling himself beside me again.
I hesitated. He was smiling so easily that I did not want to see that expression end yet. "Tell me your news first," I said. "Does it have to do with your visit to the council quarters?"
He nodded. "By the law-structure itself, what a place! We didn't see the half of it when we sneaked in last time. We didn't even see the law library."