Dry Fish and Wet Part 49

The Princess smiled on Doffen as she smiled on everyone, and each of course fancied himself specially favoured. Even old Consul Endresen brightened up at the sight of her, and was always ready to stop for a chat; he would draw himself up and endeavour to play the gallant cavalier. He had been a widower now for many years, and it was commonly believed that he was not unwilling to enter once more into the bonds of holy matrimony, should a favourable opportunity occur.

The Admiral growled fiercely whenever Baby was out, and Missa wept and wrung her hands over the young ladies of the present day--particularly in this barbarous country.

Paying attentions? It was one continual paying of attentions all day long. The young men of the place were sick with longing when she was not to be seen, and Doffen suffered most, having occasion to see her every day. To make matters worse, she had taken to coming into the office more frequently of late, and would perch herself up on her father's high stool. There she would sit and gossip with him for half an hour at a time. Six times a week at least Doffen was in the seventh heaven of delight. She asked him questions about everything under the sun, consulting him on every imaginable subject. And then she would thank him with one of those wonderful smiles, and a look from those dark eyes of hers--oh, it was beyond all bearing.

Doffen pondered long and deep, seeking some way of coming to the point.

He must not let the others get there before him, and he decided on a _coup de main_, which, as he had read in the life of Napoleon, was the proper way to win a battle. He would go directly to the Admiral himself.

One morning, then, the Admiral came into the office, looked long and attentively at Doffen, and finally said:

"What's the matter with you, man? You're getting to look like a plucked goose, for all the sign of life in you!" And he jumped up on his stool.

"It's a dog's life being a man," declared Doffen sententiously.

"You find it easier, no doubt, to be a monkey," said the Admiral.

"Well, anyway, I'd be a sort of relative of yours," said Doffen. "And it's as well to be on good terms with the devil, they say."

The Admiral laughed. This was a bad sign.

Ugh! So Doffen was going to be funny, and make jokes. That sort of polite conversation was a thing the Admiral detested; it was blank tomfoolery; soup without salt.

No; what he enjoyed was proper high temper on both sides like a couple of flints striking sparks. Anything short of that made life a washy, milk-and-watery dreariness. And most people, according to his opinion, were just a set of slack-kneed molly-coddles that sheered off at the first encounter. Devil take their measly souls! When he did happen to meet with a fellow-citizen who could get into a proper towering pa.s.sion, he felt like falling on his neck out of sheer grat.i.tude and admiration. Here, at last, was a _man_! Women he placed in a separate category: they were "fellow-creatures," just as rabbits, for instance, whose chief business in life was to have young ones.

Doffen, then, ought to have realised that the moment was not opportune for a _coup de main_. He had, however, only the day before, seen the Princess out for a long walk with young Endresen, and he felt he must act promptly, so he went on:

"You could make a happy man of me, Admiral!"

"You're happy enough as it is, man."

"No, not quite. There's one thing wanting."

"And what's that?"

"Your daughter----"

"Hey? Are you off your head?"

"Your daughter," repeated Doffen. "I'd be a good husband to her, and a proper son-in-law to you."

"I'll give you son-in-law!" roared the Admiral, and, picking up the big Directory, he sent it full at Doffen's chest; the latter, taken by surprise, came tumbling down from his stool, and fell against the wood-box in the corner.

"You miserable nincomp.o.o.p!" snorted the Admiral, as he rushed out of the room.

Doffen lay in the corner by the wood-box, groaning pitifully. The noise had been heard all over the house, and the Princess came rus.h.i.+ng in to see what was the matter.

"Are you ill, Eriksen?" she asked, taking his hand.

"Oh, I think I must be dying," he said, touching his chest.

"No, no," said she. "It's not so bad as all that."

"And if so, I shall have died for you."

"Let me help you up on the sofa, now, and I'll fetch you a gla.s.s of water."

With her support he limped across to the sofa.

"Better now?" she asked, handing him the gla.s.s of water.

"Oh, I'm so fond of you," said he, and tried to take her hand.

"Oh, do stop that nonsense!" said she, with a laugh.

"Stop? How can I stop when I love you as deeply as ... as ..." he paused, unable to find a sufficiently powerful expression, then suddenly the inspiration came, and, raising himself on his elbow, he went on--"as deeply as is possible _in this line of business_!"

"Oh no, really; you can talk about this another time, you know. Come along now, Eriksen, pull yourself together and be a man."

"Then it's not a final refusal--not a harsh and cruel 'no' such as your father flung at me just now--with that heavy book? Say it's not that!"

But she was gone.

Doffen lay back on the sofa once more, closed his eyes, and thought of her. At last he fell asleep, and lay there, never noticing when the Admiral peeped in through the door, "to see if the carca.s.s was still alive." The sound of Doffen's snoring, however, rea.s.sured him, and he went away again, contented and relieved.

The Princess sat in her room, highly amused with the thought of her latest admirer. What a funny creature he was! She rather liked him really, for all that; he was always so willing and kind, and if one's ardent wors.h.i.+ppers themselves agree to be reduced to the status of "just friends," why, it may be very handy at times to have them in reserve. No, she would not quarrel with Eriksen, because of this, not at all.

But, to tell the truth, it was getting quite a nuisance with all these admirers. Everyone of them was always wanting to meet her and go for a walk with her, and talk of love! Oh, she was so utterly weary of them all. These simpletons who imagined she was going to settle down and stay in this little place all her life!

Heavens alive, what an existence! No, thank you, not if she knew it!

It was annoying, in this frame of mind, to recollect that she promised Endresen junior to meet him at twelve o'clock by the big pond in the park. Still, a promise was a promise; she would have to go.

And lo, he came up with a huge bouquet of pale yellow roses, her favourite flower, as he knew, tied round with a piece of thin red ribbon.

"When the roses are faded, you can take the ribbon and bind me with it," he said.

"When the roses have faded? Oh, but that won't be for a long time yet--thank goodness." And she laughed.

"Well, so much the better; you can tie me up at once."

"But suppose I don't want to?"

"Then I'll die, Baby. Go off and shoot myself, or drown myself."

"Drown yourself? Oh, do it now. I'll bet anything you wouldn't dare."

"I a.s.sure you I mean it," he said, placing one hand on his heart.