She and I Volume I Part 14

Where persons and things agreed with these, being sympathetic to their rules and regulations, they naturally belonged to "the house beautiful"

of her creed, for they _must_ be good:--where they ran counter to such standards of merit, which were upheld by laws as unvarying and unchangeable as those of the Medes and Persians, and administered by a judge as stern as Draco--they were, they _must_ be evil; and were, therefore, cast out into the outer darkness that existed beyond her sacred Lares and Penates.

Good Heavens! how can pigmy people, atoms in the vast eternity of time, thus narrow the great universe in which they are permitted to exist; dwarfing it down, to the limit of their jaundiced vision, by the application of their miserable measuring tape of "fas.h.i.+onable" feet and "cla.s.s" inches! How can they abase grand humanity to the level of their social organon, affecting to control it with their arbitrary absolutisms, their mammon deification, their mimic infallibility! What creeping, crawling, wretched insects we all are, taken collectively; and, of all of us, the blindest, the most insignificant, and most grub- like, are, so-called men and women "of the world!"

Cold, heartless, in a general sense, and worldly as Mrs Clyde was, I could easily have excused it in her and tried to like her, for, was she not the mother of my darling, whom with all her faults she loved very dearly--her affection being judiciously tempered by those considerations paramount in the clique to which she belonged? But, Mrs Clyde did not like _me_. She spurned every effort I essayed to make her my friend.

I saw this the first evening I pa.s.sed in her house; and the impression I then received never wore off.

Just as you can tell at sight whether certain persons attract or repel you, through some unknown, nameless influence that you are unable to fathom; so, in like degree, can you decide--that is, if you possess a naturally sensitive mind--whether they are drawn towards yourself or remain antipathetical. I know that _I_ can tell without asking them, if people whom I see for the first time are likely to fancy me or not; and, at all events, I had some inward monition which warned me that Mrs Clyde, contrary to my earnest wish that she should regard me in a friendly light, was not one of those amiable beings who would "cotton to me," as the inhabitants of New England express the sentiment in their pointed vernacular.

Perhaps you think me a very egotistical person, thus to dwell upon my own ideas and feelings?

You must recollect, however, that I'm telling you this story myself, a story in which I am both actively and intimately interested; and how, unless I speak of my own self, are you going to learn anything about me?

I have n.o.body to describe me, so I _must_ be what you call "egotistical."

Yes, Mrs Clyde did not like me.

I do not mean to say, remember, that she was impolite, or grim, or wanting in courtesy.

The reverse was the case, as she was one of the smoothest, suavest persons you ever met.

But, there is an exquisitely refined way in which a woman of the world can make you understand that your presence is "de trop" and your society distasteful, without saying a single word that might be construed into an offence against good breeding.

Mrs Clyde was a thorough mistress of this art.

Her searching eye could appraise at a glance a man's mental calibre or a lady's toilette. It seemed to pierce you through and through, exploring your inmost thoughts, and enlightening her as to what her course of procedure should be in regard to you, before she had spoken a word, or you either.

So _I_ believed at any rate; for, to tell the honest truth, I was horribly afraid of Min's mother. I always felt on tenter hooks in her presence, from the very first date of our acquaintances.h.i.+p.

On coming into the room where Min and I were regarding d.i.c.ky Chip's performances with loving eyes, and I completely "translated" by various combinating influences, Mrs Clyde appeared to take in the situation in an instant--"an eyewink," as a minute portion of time is happily rendered in the Teutonic tongue. Certainly, she grasped everything at a glance--even the contingency that might have possibly occurred, for, my embarra.s.sment was not lost upon her. I saw an anxious expression hover across her face for a second, to be quickly replaced by her ordinary society look of calm, studied suavity.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, in well-feigned astonishment at my presence--"Mr Lorton, how d'ye do!"

"How do you do, Mrs Clyde?" said I, straightening myself up, and then bending in feeble attempt at a bow.

She said nothing further for the moment, thinking it best to leave the burden of the conversation on me, so as to better promote my ease of manner and general welfare, in a "company" light. She was dexterous in fence, was Mrs Clyde.

"Ah!" said I at length after an uncomfortable pause, "that was a delightful evening we had last night!" It was a polite falsehood; but then, one must say something when in "society" be it never so senseless and silly!

"I am glad you enjoyed yourself," she answered, although she knew well enough that I had done no such thing.

"Oh, mamma!" said Min, coming to the rescue, "see what a dear little bird Mr Lorton has brought me! It is really so clever that it can almost do anything. d.i.c.ky, d.i.c.ky, cheep!" she chirped to my young representative, who sat in the centre of the table, perched on a photographic alb.u.m and with his head c.o.c.ked on one side. He was staring very inquisitively at Mrs Clyde. He evidently regarded her as an enemy; for, the feathers on his crest got ruffled.

"Indeed!" said her mother, in freezing accents--down to the temperature of the best Wenham Lake ice!--"I'm sure Mr Lorton is very good! Still, you know, Minnie," she continued, "that I do not like you receiving presents in this way."

"But it is only a little bird, Mrs Clyde!" I said, at last nerved up to the speaking-point. I thought she would have told me then and there to take it back; and I awaited, in fear and trembling, what she would say next.

"And he's such a little darling, mamma!" interposed Min impulsively.

Mrs Clyde could not help smiling.

"That may be quite true, my dear," she said; "but, as you know, and as Mr Lorton is probably also aware--although he is very young to have as yet mixed much in the world"--_cut number two_!--"it is not quite correct for young ladies to receive presents, however trifling, from gentlemen who are, comparatively, strangers to them, and to whom they have been but barely introduced!"--_cut three_!

"Oh, mamma!" said Min, in an agony of maidenly shame. She coloured up to the eyes--at the dread of having done something she ought not to have done.

Her exclamation armed me to the teeth. I would have stood up in defence of my darling against a hundred mammas, all cased in society's best satire-proof steel. I determined to "carry the war into Egypt," and opened fire accordingly.

"Pardon me, Mrs Clyde," said I, quite as frigidly as herself--"but the fault, if error there be on either side, lies on my shoulders. I am sure I meant no harm. I only brought the little bird as a remembrance of your daughter's birthday, having forgotten to present it yesterday, when her other friends made _their_ offerings."

My speech, however, produced no impression; she quickly parried my weak thrust, returning me tierce en carte.

"But they were all _old_ friends, Mr Lorton:--_that_ made it quite a different thing," she said, very coldly, although with the sweetest expression. I daresay Jael smiled very pleasantly when she drove that nail into Sisera's temple!

I thought I perceived a slight loophole for attack. "I believe," said I, "that both Mr Horner and Mr Mawley were only introduced to Miss Clyde a short time previously to myself."

Bless you, I was a child in her practised hands! Fancy my making such a blunder as to show her where the shoe pinched me!

"I think, Mr Lorton," she replied, "that _I_ am the best judge as to whom I consider my daughter's friends. Mr Mawley is a clergyman of the parish, and Mr Horner the nephew of a gentleman whom I have known for years!"--Ah! she _did_ know about Horner's expectations, then; I thought she did!--"But," she continued, in a slightly less frigid tone, probably on account of seeing Min's agitation, and from the belief that she had put me down sufficiently--"But, Mr Lorton, I do not wish to appear unkind; and, as you never thought of all this, most likely, my daughter may keep the bird you kindly brought her, if she likes."

"Oh, thank you, mamma," said Min, caressing d.i.c.ky Chips, who thereupon burst into a paean of melody, in which the opening bars of the "Silver Trumpets" march and "Green grow the Rushes, O" were mixed up harmoniously, in splendid confusion. Knowing little bullfinch that he was! He succeeded, as peradventure he intended, in at once turning the conversation into a fresh channel, where Min's constraint and my embarra.s.sment were soon dispelled.

Mrs Clyde had not been a bit put out during the entire interview.

She was now, as she had been all along, as cool and collected, as suave and serene, as possible. In this respect she somewhat resembled Horner, her promising young friend--nothing could put her out--although _her_ mental equilibrium resulted from habit and training; while Horner's, in my opinion, was entirely owing to his natural apathy and inherent dulness of disposition.

Shortly after hostilities had terminated between us, and a truce declared, Mrs Clyde said that she hoped that I would kindly excuse herself and Min, as they had to prepare to go out to make several calls.

Thus politely dismissed, I accordingly took my leave. But, not before the astute lady of the world had contrived to impress me with the consideration that Mrs Clyde moved in a very different circle to that of Mr Lorton; and, that, if I had the a.s.surance and audacity to aspire to the hand of "her daughter," I need not nurse the sweet belief that _she_ would lend a favourable ear to my suit. I must, in that case, be prepared to wage a war a outrance, in which there would be no quarter allowed, on _one_ side at least.

You must not think that I make these remarks with any bitter feelings now in my heart towards Min's mother. I only desire to tell my story truthfully; and, I may say at once that she failed in our after struggle together. I really believe that she meant honestly to do the best she could for her daughter, as "the best" was held by the articles of her social creed; and that she manoeuvred so that her "lines" should "fall in pleasant places." Yet, those good thoughts, and best wishes, and wise plans of worldly people, effect incalculable mischief and misery and unhappiness in life.

Many a sorely-tried heart has been broken by their influence--many a man and woman ruined for life and for eternity, through their means! And, although I mean no harm towards Mrs Clyde now, as I have already stated, however much I may have been opposed to her once--for the battle has been fought lang syne, and the game played out to its end--still, I can never forget that she _was_ my enemy!

CHAPTER TEN.

"A FOOL'S PARADISE."

Gather ye rose-buds while ye may, Old Time is still a-flying; And the same flower that blooms to-day, To-morrow may be dying!

Rost nubila Phoebus; "after clouds, comes suns.h.i.+ne."

I did not allow the coldness of Min's mother to dwell long in my mind.

What, if Mrs Clyde did not appear to like me? Could I alter the obliquity of her mental vision by brooding over it, and worrying myself into a fit of misanthropy? Would it not be better for me to allow matters to run their appointed course, in accordance with the inexorable law of events, and not to antic.i.p.ate those evils with which the future might be pregnant? The followers of Mahomet are wise men in their generation. They take everything that happens to them with the philosophy of their faith. Kismet! It is their fate, may Allah be praised! they say.

I was perfectly satisfied to accommodate myself to circ.u.mstances; and gathered flowers, according to wise old Herrick's advice, to my heart's content. I did not seek to inquire about the future:--why should I?