Mr. Sponge's Sporting Tour Part 54

'About the horse, you know--about Mr. Sponge's horse, you know--that you got me to challenge for you, you know,' stammered Pacey.

'Oh, dash it, the chap's drunk,' growled Jack aloud to himself, adding to Pacey, 'you shouldn't get up so soon, man--sleep the drink off.'

Pacey stood nonplussed.

'Don't you remember, Mr. Spraggon,' at last asked he, after watching the ta.s.sel of Jack's cap peeping above the bedclothes, 'what took place last night, you know? You asked me to get you Mr. Sponge's chestnut, and you know I did, you know.'

'Hout, lad, disperse!--get out of this!' exclaimed Jack, starting his great red face above the bedclothes and squinting frightfully at Pacey.

'Well, my dear friend, but you did,' observed Pacey soothingly.

'Nonsense!' roared Jack, again ducking under.

Pacey stood agape.

'Come!' exclaimed Jack, again starting up, 'cut your stick!--be off!--make yourself scarce!--give your rags a gallop, in short!--don't be after disturbin' a gen'leman of fortin's rest in this way.'

'But, my dear Mr. Spraggon,' resumed Pacey, in the same gentle tone, 'you surely forget what you asked me to do.'

'_I do_,' replied Jack firmly.

'Well, but, my dear Mr. Spraggon, if you'll have the kindness to recollect--to consider--to reflect on what pa.s.sed, you'll surely remember commissioning me to challenge Mr. Sponge's horse for you?'

'_Me!_' exclaimed Jack, bouncing up in bed, and sitting squinting furiously. '_Me!_' repeated he; '_un_possible. How could _I_ do such a thing? Why, I handicap'd him, man, for you, man?'

'You told me, for all that,' replied Mr. Pacey, with a jerk of the head.

'Oh, by Jove!' exclaimed Jack, taking his cap by the ta.s.sel, and twisting it off his head,' that won't do!--downright impeachment of one's integrity.

Oh, by Jingo! that won't do!' motioning as if he was going to bounce out of bed;' can't stand that--impeach one's integrity, you know, better take one's life, you know. Life without honour's nothin', you know. c.o.c.k Pheasant at Weybridge, six o'clock i' the mornin'!'

'Oh, I a.s.sure you, I didn't mean anything of that sort,' exclaimed Mr.

Pacey, frightened at Jack's vehemence, and the way in which he now foamed at the mouth, and flourished his nightcap about. 'Oh, I a.s.sure you, I didn't mean anything of that sort,' repeated he, 'only I thought p'raps you mightn't recollect all that had pa.s.sed, p'raps; and if we were to talk matters quietly over, by putting that and that together, we might a.s.sist each other and--'

'Oh, by Jove!' interrupted Jack, das.h.i.+ng his nightcap against the bedpost, 'too late for anything of that sort, sir--_down_right impeachment of one's integrity, sir--must be settled another way, sir.'

'But, I a.s.sure you, you mistake!' exclaimed Pacey.

'Rot your mistakes!' interrupted Jack; 'there's no mistake in the matter.

You've _reg_larly impeached my integrity--blood of the Spraggons won't stand that. "Death before Dishonour!"' shouted he, at the top of his voice, flouris.h.i.+ng his nightcap over his head, and then das.h.i.+ng it on to the middle of the floor.

'What's the matter?--what's the matter?--what's the matter?' exclaimed Mr.

Sponge, rus.h.i.+ng through the connecting door. 'What's the matter?' repeated he, placing himself between the bed in which Jack still sat upright, squinting his eyes inside out, and where Mr. Pacey stood.

'Oh, Mr. Sponge!' exclaimed Jack, clasping his raised hands in thankfulness, 'I'm so glad you're here!--I'm so thankful you're come! I've been insulted!--oh, goodness, how I've been insulted!' added he, throwing himself back in the bed, as if thoroughly overcome with his feelings.

'Well, but what's the matter?--what is it all about?' asked Sponge coolly, having a pretty good guess what it was.

'Never was so insulted in my life!' e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed Jack, from under the bedclothes.

'Well but what _is_ it?' repeated Sponge, appealing to Pacey, who stood as pale as ashes.

'Oh! nothing,' replied he; 'quite a mistake; Mr. Spraggon misunderstood me altogether.'

'Mistake! There's no mistake in the matter!' exclaimed Jack, appearing again on the surface like an otter; 'you gave me the lie as plain as a pikestaff.'

'Indeed!' observed Mr. Sponge, drawing in his breath and raising his eyebrows right up into the roof of his head. 'Indeed!' repeated he.

'No; nothing of the sort, I a.s.sure you,' a.s.serted Mr. Pacey.

'Must have satisfaction!' exclaimed Jack, again diving under the bedclothes.

'Well, but let us hear how matters stand,' said Mr. Sponge coolly, as Jack's grizzly head disappeared.

'You'll be my second,' growled Jack, from under the bedclothes.

'Oh! second be hanged,' retorted Sponge. 'You've nothing to fight about; Mr. Pacey says he didn't mean anything, that you misunderstood him, and what more can a man want?'

'Just so,' replied Mr. Pacey, 'just so. I a.s.sure you I never intended the slightest imputation on Mr. Spraggon.'

'I'm sure not,' replied Mr. Sponge.

'H-u-m-p-h,' grunted Jack from under the bedclothes, like a pig in the straw. Not showing any disposition to appear on the surface again, Mr.

Sponge, after standing a second or two, gave a jerk of his head to Mr.

Pacey, and forthwith conducted him into his own room, shutting the door between Mr. Spraggon and him.

Mr. Sponge then inquired into the matter, kindly sympathizing with Mr.

Pacey, who he was certain never meant anything disrespectful to Mr.

Spraggon, who, Mr. Sponge thought, seemed rather quick at taking offence; though, doubtless, as Mr. Sponge observed, 'a man was perfectly right in being tenacious of his integrity,' a position that he ill.u.s.trated by a familiar pa.s.sage from Shakespeare, about stealing a purse and stealing trash, &c.

Emboldened by his kindness, Mr. Pacey then got Mr. Sponge on to talk about the horse of which he had become the unwilling possessor--the renowned chestnut, Multum-in-Parvo.

Mr. Sponge spoke like a very prudent, conscientious man; said that really it was difficult to give an opinion about a horse; that what suited one man might not suit another--that _he_ considered Multum-in-Parvo a very good horse; indeed, that he wouldn't have parted with him if he hadn't more than he wanted, and the cream of the season had pa.s.sed without his meeting with any of those casualties that rendered the retention of an extra horse or two desirable. Altogether, he gave Mr. Pacey to understand that he held him to his bargain. Having thanked Sponge for his great kindness, and got an order on the groom (Mr. Leather) to have the horse out, Mr. Pacey took his departure to the stable, and Sponge having summoned his neighbour Mr.

Spraggon from his bed, the two proceeded to a pa.s.sage window that commanded a view of the stable-yard.

Mr. Pacey presently went swaggering across it, cracking his jockey whip against his leg, followed by Mr. Leather, with a saddle on his shoulder and a bridle in his hand.

'He'd better keep his whip quiet,' observed Mr. Sponge, with a shake of his head, as he watched Pacey's movements.

'The beggar thinks he can ride anything,' observed Jack.

'He'll find his mistake out just now,' replied Sponge.

Presently the stable-door opened, and the horse stepped slowly and quietly out, looking blooming and bright after his previous day's gallop. Pacey, running his eyes over his clean muscular legs and finely shaped form, thought he hadn't done so far amiss after all. Leather stood at the horse's head, whistling and soothing him, feeling anything but the easy confidence that Mr. Pacey exhibited. Putting his whip under his arm, Pacey just walked up to the horse, and, placing the point of his foot in the stirrup, hoisted himself on by the mane, without deigning to take hold of the reins. Having soused himself into the saddle, he then began feeling the stirrups.

'How are they for length, sir?' asked Leather, with a hitch of his hand to his forehead.

'They'll do,' replied Pacey, in a tone of indifference, gathering up the reins, and applying his left heel to the horse's side, while he gave him a touch of the whip on the other. The horse gave a wince, and a hitch up behind; as much as to say, 'If you do that again I'll kick in right earnest,' and then walked quietly out of the yard.

'I took the fiery edge off him yesterday, I think,' observed Jack, as he watched the horse's leisurely movements.