The Pleasures of a Single Life Part 2

THE Ladies Choice: A POEM.

LONDON

Printed, and Sold by _J. How_, and _B. Bragg_, at the _Blew-Ball_ in _Avemary-Lane_, next _Ludgate-Street_, 1702.

THE LADIES CHOICE.

_Melissa Belinda._

Melissa.

Prithee, _Belinda_ (for thou know'st I'm Young, Unskill'd in Arts that to our s.e.x belong) Thy wiser Counsels to my Youth impart; Teach me at once to _Love_, and _Guard_ my Heart; That I have _Wit_, can _Sing_ and _Dance_ you know, And the Men tell me I am Pretty too; I now have Fifteen pleasing Summers seen, And have been Courted by twice Fifteen Men; Still fresh Pretenders do my Peace Invade, They _Write_, they _Visit, Sigh_ and _Serenade_, And try allways to Catch a Harmless Maid.

Then since our Virgin Thoughts are apt to Rove, And few escape that n.o.ble Pa.s.sion _Love_, Teach me, _Belinda_, by thy Arts to Chuse What Suiters to Admit, and which Refuse._

_Belinda._

_Melissa_, I am glad you're so Discreet, } For, that to more Experience you'll submit, } Argues your want of _Vanity_, not _Wit_. }

And yet, my Dear, 'tis difficult t' Advise, } _Fools_ are so Plenty, and so Scarce the _Wise_: } To judge of Men, we shou'd not Trust our Eyes; } Outward Appearance may Delude the Sight; Nor is it good to gaze too near the Light: For tho' your _Beauty_, like a Painted Scene, May Dang'rous prove to the Vile Race of Men, Who at the greater distance do Admire, And shun the heat of Love's Important Fire.

Whose _Little G.o.d_, like lesser Thieves, unseen, } Steals to our Hearts, we scarce know how or when, } His _Standard_ hoists and Guards the Fort Within; } Then like a Tyrant does our Peace Controul, And absolutely Lords it o'er the Soul: Thus, with your _Heart_, your _Fortune_ he'll Dispose: He does the _Man_, you but the _Husband_ chuse.

And tho' a _Fool_, you must the _Wretch_ receive; For where we _Love_, we soon our Persons give.

Therefore, _Melissa_, wisely Guard your Heart; What _Nature_ won't defend, defend by _Art_:

Shun, I advise you, most Devoutly shun, Those _Servile Apes_ that swarm about the Town; _Pert, Noisie c.o.xcombs, Self-admiring Beaux_, Known by their _want_ of _Wit_, and _Gawdy Cloaths_:

Of all the Creatures Nature does provide, To stock the World from _Ignorance_ to _Pride_; Of all that from her various Bosom spring, A _Beau_ I think the oddest kind of thing; A selfish Compound, singular, and Vain, Half _a.s.s_, half _Puppet_, and the least of _Man_; One that seems just for Nature's Pastime made, A _Gawdy_ Carca.s.s, with an _Empty Head_; Whose only _Knowledge_ lies in _modish Dress_, And seldom looks much further than his Gla.s.s.

A Creature only Govern'd by his Will; And never _Reads_ above a _Taylors Bill_; A Wretch extreamly _Whimsical_ and _Proud_, Stiff in _Opinion, Talkative_ and _Loud_; And that which most Compleatly Arms the _Fool_, Is, That the _Fop's_ Emphatically dull.

That such, _Melissa_, may Address, 'tis true, Write a soft _Song_, or senseless _Billetdoux_, But 'tis _Themselves_ they _Admire_ in't, not _You_: And she that's basely Yok'd with one of these, Must e'en be Wedded to his _Vanities_; Doat on a _Thing_ that scarce deserves a Name, While he with _Slights_ rewards her Vertuous Flame: For tell me, can he less _Indifferent_ prove, Who thinks no Woman can Deserve his Love?

No, no, _Melissa_, never think he can; For if you do, you're Cozen'd in your Man.

Self-Affectation sways his little Sense; Nought but _Himself_ he Loves, and _Ignorance_.

By fatal Chance, if such a Man you Wed, Better, _Melissa_, thou had'st Dy'd a Maid: Ev'n such a Lover, were a Plague too great; From such a Husband, Guard me, Oh my Fate!

Shun too, my Dear, the _Lewder Wits_ o' th' Town, As watchfully as they'd avoid a Dun.

For such a Man too soon wou'd let you see, _Lewdness_ and _Marriage_ do but ill Agree.

Oft at the Theatre such Sparks I've seen, } With _Rakish Looks, half Drunk_, come Reeling in; } Tossing their _Wigs_, their _Backs_ against the Scene. } Regardless of the Play (a Mark of Wit) Bow to some Lewd Companion in the Pit.

Take Snuff, fling round, in the Side-Box be seen, Whisper a Mask, and then Retire again, To some Lov'd _Tavern_, where's their chief Delight, } There in Debaucheries they spend the Night, } Then Stagger homeward by the Morning Light. }

Thus the Extravagant squanders his Estate, Scarce e'er Consid'ring till it be too late: And then a _Wife_ must Cure the dang'rous Sore, A _Fortune_ too, his _Acres_ must Restore; The Woman Found, is by Addresses won; They're _married_: He's _profuse_, and she's _undone_.

The Wound once heal'd, he soon forgets the Pain, And takes the Trade of _Lewdness_ up again: In Vicious Days and Nights his Life is spent; The _Pleasure_ his, but her's the _Punishment_; For now the Heav'n she Dreamt of, proves her h.e.l.l, Whose only _Fault_ was Loving him too well.

Pensive all Day she sits; all Night alone; She does her slighted Love, but more his Loss bemoan.

By kind Endearments Fraught with Innocence, She strives to soften his Impenitence; Fain wou'd she turn him from the winding Maze, Win him to Love, and be the same he was; But Vain her Sighs; her Prayers, her Tears are Vain, } She might as soon her _Freedom_ re-obtain, } As think to Mollifie th' obdurate Man. } Who like her Person, slights the fond Advice, } And when with Love she wou'd his Soul Entice, } Flies from her Arms, and Revels in his Vice; } Till she, alas, foreseeing what must come, Consents, and with the little left he packs her home.

Of such I give thee Caution to beware, } Fly 'em, _Melissa_, like a Tim'rous Hare, } That Strains along the Vales t'avoid the Hunters Snare. }

And from a Soldier too, thy flight direct; In his Rough Arms, what can a Maid expect; Long Absent days, and tedious Widow'd Nights: Are those the Marriage Joys, the vasts Delights We promise to our selves, with him we Love?

Or shall we else such Constant Creatures prove, To leave our Country, and turn Fugitive: Follow the Camp, and with the Wanderer Live.

'Mongst War-like sounds our softer hours to pa.s.s, Scorch in the Sun, and Sleep upon the Gra.s.s: No, no, _Melissa_, 'tis an Auxious Life; Honour's his Mistress; let it be his Wife.

No Man of Bus'ness let thy Heart approve; Bus'ness is oft an Enemy to Love: Nor think, my Dear, thou canst be truly blest With one that's _Wedded_ to his Interest.

Worldly Affairs does his Affections cloy, _As that which shou'd preserve it, does destroy._ 'Twixt two Extreams you wretchedly must Live, Or bad, or worse, as his Affairs do Thrive; Whose good or ill Success, must be the Rule, One makes him Insolent, and t'other Dull.

Let no Aspiring Courtier be thy Choice; Avoid in Courts, the Bustle and the Noise; Where Vain _Ambition_ hurries on the Mind, And always leaves more solid Joys behind: As when the _Thrifty Clown_, securely Blest, His _Barns_ with _Plenty_, with _Content_ his _Brest_, Possest with hopes of a long lost Estate, In haste forsakes his humble harmless Seat.

With Bagg and Bundle, Trots it up to Town, } There wildly Gapes, and wanders up and down, } And's kept in _Ignorance_ till he's undone. } Some weighty Sums receiv'd for _Corn_ and _Cheese_, Are _Spent_ in _Treats_, and _Giv'n_ away in _Fees_.

Mean while the _Lawyer_ so well Acts his Part, } With empty Pockets, and an Aking Heart, } He sends him home again to Plow and Cart. }

So the _Gay Youth_ does Lavish his Estate, And bribes into the Favour of the _Great_; Prefer'd he sits like Fortunes Darling Son, To's Friends, and what he was, a Stranger grown; Till soon some turn of a Revolving State, Leaves him to Curse _Ambition_, and his Fate; Threaten'd with Want, perhaps the Youngster Writes, And Lives (or rather Starves Genteely) by his Wits.

Therefore, _Melissa_, Guard thee from surprize; Let none of these betray thee, if thou'rt Wise; Let not their Songs, nor Sighs, thy Soul Entice.

But if thou wou'dst be happy in thy Choice, Above 'em all, a Gentleman prefer; One free from Bus'ness, undisturb'd with Care; Yet in the Publick Good (without Vile ends) To serve his Country, and his Countries Friends: Travel his Understanding shou'd improve; For as it helps his Knowledge, 'twould his Love.

As to his Person, 'tis not to advise; All Women see not with the self-same Eyes.

In that you might your own Opinion use, Your Heart wou'd teach you; but were I to chuse, He shou'd not be Effeminate or Proud, (I hate the Man that is by Pride subdu'd).

In us I Grant a little Pride may be, Much less a Crime (and may with Sense agree) A Gift alone for our own s.e.x design'd, To awe the loose Opinions of Mankind; Who quickly else more Insolent wou'd grow: 'Tis Vertue's Guard, and Aids our Beauties too.

A Gay Appearance shou'd not make me err; I wou'd the Beauties of the Mind prefer.

Among the Few, I'd have a Man of Sense, Endu'd with Modesty and Temperance; Not with a great, and yet a good Estate; Not too much Learning, nor Illiterate, And yet he shou'd (avoiding each extream) Know more of Man, than Man shou'd know of him.

Be Gen'rous and Well-bred, but not Profuse; Not giv'n to Flattery, nor to take th' Abuse: Gentile his Carriage, and his Humour such, Shou'd speak him Sociable, but no Debauch.

A Lover of his Country, and a Friend to Wit Read _Poetry_ he shou'd, but shou'd not write; His Temper Lively, not to _Wildness_ bent, His Talk Diverting, and yet Innocent; Not Unreserv'd, nor yet too Nicely Wise, Apter to Bear, than Offer Injuries; Courage enough his Honour to defend, But Constant in his Love, and Faithful to his Friend.

This is the Man I'd to my Heart prefer; } Such Men, _Melissa_, well deserve our Care; } You'll say they're Scarce, and I must grant they are. } Yet I resolve by such a Man, or none, (Unless by Love betray'd) I will be won.

But were I Woo'd by the _Embellish'd Youth_; His Soul susceptible of Love and Truth: By easie steps he shou'd attain my Heart, By all the Proofs of Breeding, Wit, and Art.

Then like some Town, by _War-like Numbers_ sought, That long against its Enemies has fought, And oft with Courage brav'd the _s.h.i.+ning Field_, } Yet in the end by Want or Force compell'd, } It does with Honour to the _Conqueror_ Yield. }

So to my Lover I'd my Heart resign, The Conquest his, the Glory should be mine.

With mutual Love my Nuptials shou'd be Blest, } Then to my Arms I'd call the Welcome Guest, } And Celebrate with Joy great _Hymen_'s Feast. }

Marriage is Bondage, but where _Cupid_ Reigns, The Yoke is easie; Glorious are the Chains: His Fetters please, nor wish we to be Free, But Glory in the Loss of Liberty: And yet but half our Thanks we owe the Boy, He gives us Love, 'tis _Hymen_ gives us Joy; Well might the Poets feign those G.o.ds a-kin, For we are only Happy where they join.

As when _Aurora_ does the Bridal Morn, With an uncommon Gayety Adorn From its Ill.u.s.trious Pride with ease we may Foretel the Brightness of the coming Day: So when true Love the Sacred Tye precedes, Secure of Happiness that Couple weds; No Threat'ning Storms do e'er Molest their Joy, Nor Anxious Quarrels do their Peace destroy; Their days slide on in the securest ease, And Circle in Eternal Rounds of Bliss.

Blest in my Wish thus far, my next should be, (For I _Melissa_, wou'd live far and free From the vile Tumults of this viler Town) To have some little Cottage of my own; No _s.p.a.cious_, but a _Pleasant_ Country Seat, Where the Gay Spring shou'd smile on our Retreat; Delightful Gardens shou'd the Structure Bound, All _Love_ within, and _Innocence_ around; Adorn'd with Fruit-Trees curious to the Eye, With streaming Fountains, and a River nigh; Where, low-grown Willows do recline their head, And o'er its fall their Meeting Branches spread, As tho' they were by careful Nature hung, } To listen and regard its Murm'ring Song, } Whose Silver current as it glides along; } Does wash the Bank of some Delightful Grove, Fragrant beneath, and shaded all above; Where the fresh Seasons breathe their vital Air, And pretty Birds with untaught Songs repair; Where spreading Pines, and taller Poplars grow, Young Elms that do a pleasing Prospect show.

Where Bow'rs of Yew, and twisted Hazles stand, With cl.u.s.ter'd Filberts to invite the hand; A Place by Nature fram'd to feast the Mind, By Art for Solitude and Love design'd; Where we wou'd walk, and waste our idler hours, Gather the luscious Fruits and various Flowers, Crop from their stalks the Columbine and Rose, } And from its Branch, the juicy Peach unlose, } And ev'ry Sweet of Nature should it self disclose. }

So the first Pair, of Innocence possest, Were in their Native _EDEN_ truly Blest; At large they rang'd o'er all the flow'ry Land, And pluck'd their Food from Nature's lib'ral Hand: Tripp'd o'er the Soil, and to the Fountains ran.

The Happy Woman _She_, and _He_ the Happy Man.

Next in my Family I'd employ my Care, My Attendance few, but honest and sincere; I wou'd not have our happier Delights, Destroy'd by Gaming Days, or Drinking Nights.

Nor yet look shye upon those Friends he brought, I wou'd seem Pleasant, tho' I lik'd them not: Courteous to all, and Lib'ral to the Poor, They still shou'd chant their Blessings at my Door; From whence dissatisfy'd they shou'd not go, Lest Heaven shou'd retrench its Bounty too; No Jars among my Servants shou'd be found, But Chains of lasting Peace shou'd still run round.

Thus we'd the Innocence of Life enjoy, For Love's a Beauty which does seldom cloy.