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Picked Up In Winter <13>
When I opened my eyes, it was already bright as the morning had arrived. I stared blankly at the ceiling covered with white wallpaper, then I abruptly arose. The reality was that the weight was still strong enough to knock me down, but if I continued to lay down it would only make me feel worse.
Thinking like that, I was suddenly startled. What ‘the weight was too strong’! Wasn’t that the reason why I escaped? Even here I feel the ‘weight’, but it seems it is of a different kind, the kind I never would have guessed.
“…….”
I suddenly felt pathetic. The day was up, and I couldn’t sleep a wink. Nevertheless, my mind was overly clear, though my body felt tired. Even if I went back to bed, sleep would elude me and I’d end up worrying about sentimental things.
When I looked at the clock on the wall, it was a little after seven……. After coming here I kept waking up late, so it was an hour earlier than usual. Slowly, I climbed down the ladder and saw that Jun Hyung was still asleep. He seemed like an early riser, is he sleeping more because it was winter vacation?
“…….”
For a moment, I quietly stood in front of him and observed his face.
Jun Hyung seemed to be in a deep sleep. It seems I didn’t have to worry about him waking up so I continued looking at his face. A handsome face adorned with beautiful half-moon eyebrows, the eyes below that were closed now were actually quite innocent and sharp.
He gave off a rough feeling, the face somewhat identical to a child. Was it because of the purity inside? A guy with a very innocent smiling face. And his sleeping posture was also not…… bad.
“…….”
…… You …… You … Why are you so kind to me?
As I continued looking at his face, resentment started to enter my
heart.
Why are you giving me this affection, this unconditional love, which I always craved for? Why did you help someone like me? You have no reason to be good to me. I know it well. So it makes me insecure. I am afraid of the fact that I depend on this behaviour which has no meaning behind it.
I know that he has affection, but not towards , but rather towards .
Suddenly, I remembered the time when I first came into this house. The reaction of his family appeared strange. When they heard the name “Happy”, they were deeply moved to the point of tears, which was quite difficult to imagine. And when his older sister told me about their family, it was obvious. Dae Hyung also spells trouble but Jun Hyung is different. Fundamentally different. And it seemed that there was some story behind.
…… Then, does his nuna know? The reason for his kindness towards me. What am I to him?
If he’s just a guy with unusual character and is just playing ‘house’ for fun…… If that is the case……
I would feel really miserable.
─Creak…….
I carefully opened the door and entered the living room, someone was sitting on the sofa. When I came closer, that someone turned out to be Dae Hyung.
“Oh, what’s up? You’re up early.”
The boy who spotted me, said as if he was very close to me. When I first came to this house, it was a reaction I’d have never imagined. Usually, Dae Hyung won’t speak to me in presence of other family members, but when, by chance, it’s only the two of us, then he would talk to me a lot.
“……”
“…? What’s wrong?”
On seeing my depressed face, Dae Hyung asked curiously, seemingly having forgotten everything. Surprisingly, Dae Hyung might be the most diligent one in this family. Not only does he gets up early and exercises, but he also prepares his own breakfast. I also heard that
that he gets good grades too.
“Do you not feel good because it’s morning?”
“…….”
Not answering Dae Hyung who looked concerned, I quietly sat down on the sofa. The air was still cold. As I shrank my body a little, Dae Hyung softly handed me the blanket he had covered himself with. I pulled the blanket up to my neck and looked at him. Dae Hyung was studying, he held Math textbook and a mechanical pencil in his hands. Not a third year in high school nor in middle school yet studying during holidays from the morning…… I was surprised.
“…… During holidays, why…”
“Hm? Ahh. It’s homework. They told me to revise everything I learned during the second semester and write it down. I’ll do this in advance and so I can have a good time later.”
“….…”
He’s really diligent. Having nothing else to say, I slowly nodded and leaned my body sideways on the sofa. Was Seon Hyung-nuna still asleep? When will she get up? It would be bad if she wakes up later than Jun Hyung. While I was thinking, Dae Hyung, who was beside, called me.
“Happy? Are you sleeping?”
“…… Ah?”
“Ahh. I thought you fell asleep.”
“…….”
“Do you maybe know how to solve this? You’re older than me, right?”
“…??”
Holding out his Math textbook he asked. The sudden learning atmosphere surprised me and I ended up sitting in a straight posture. Of course, I’m older than you. I’m even older than Jun Hyung. But would I remember what I learned in middle school…… I dazedly took the Math textbook and looked at it, it was a short question concerning deposits, a commonly asked question with a mathematical expression. They didn’t want an answer but a formula, at that. Fortunately, it seemed like I could solve it, and roughly nodding, I solved it.
“How did you solve it?”
Dae Hyung looked at me in amazement.
“…….”
I still would be a third-year in high school next year and if I can’t
I can’t even solve this, I’d be in big trouble.
“It only looks complicated in words. Actually, it’s easier to calculate it using this expression. As the first money deposit, I put it as X, and then taking interest as 10% then next…….”
“Oh, oh…… Oh. I see. I get it!”
Dae Hyung in the course of listening to my enthusiastic explanation repeatedly gave exclamations of understanding. Then he suddenly looked at me with admiration in his eyes.
“Wa, Happy. You’re really good at explaining. Whenever such a problem came up, I’d get it wrong. Now I just need to apply what you’re saying…… I got it now. You’re great.”
“…….”
It would be disgraceful for me to hear I’m great at such level of a question because my math is weaker than my other subjects.
Dae Hyung then went back to solving problems with a happy expression on his face, while I watched with an embarra.s.sed look, then suddenly it occurred to me, wouldn’t he know a little something about Jun Hyung? From the start, this boy didn’t seem to know a lot, but still, he’s a family. Maybe he knows something.
“Dae Hyung….”
“Hm?”
“You… Do you think your hyung is normal?”
“…….”
At my sudden question, Dae Hyung looked at me with a stunned expression for a moment and then spoke.
“So you think you’re normal?”
“…….”
…… They say that the crayfish sides with the crab.1 I was little offended by the quarrelsome tone in his voice. I only asked because I was genuinely curious.
“Anyway, I’m embarra.s.sed since you asked something so obvious.”
“…….”
“Obviously he’s not normal.”
“…….”
“And you also, don’t really seem to be all that normal.”
“…….”
Dae Hyung put down his Maths textbook he was holding and spoke. It seems he noticed that I have a few more questions. I thought them over and asked him again.
“Your family is really warm and harmonious, but somehow Jun Hyung feels out of place. Why is that?”
“…….”
“And…… what special meaning does the name ‘Happy’ hold?”
“…… Hmm.”
After Dae Hyung heard my Hyung heard my questions, he wrinkled his forehead thinking something then seemingly dismissed it.
“I don’t really know.”
“…….”
“I heard it when I was just a baby……. I don’t know the details, but hyung does.”
“…?”
“When he was a child, he was like an autistic kid.”
“…….”
I became momentarily speechless. When he glanced at me who had a blank look, Dae Hyung awkwardly continued.
“I don’t know, it’s hard to say… but I heard about some of the symptoms, I get what you want to say. You are thinking, ‘isn’t he an autistic kid even now’?”
“…….”
I felt ashamed as he had hit the nail on the head.
“Anyway, he’s better now. And Happy is……”
“…?”
“That, I also don’t know the details. It seems like it was the name of a dog when I was young. In hyung’s room, there’s a picture. I really don’t know the details either. Only that it was hyung’s favourite dog…….”
……so it really is a dog’s name.
“Probably, nuna knows it better……”
“At what time does Seon Hyung-nuna get up?”
“Nuna is a late riser. She’s up at around 11.”
“Jun Hyung?”
“Hyung normally gets up at 7. Today, you got up early, and instead, hyung is late, I guess. You guys are a funny duo.”
“…….”
So I won’t have a chance to ask? It would be bad if Jun Hyung woke up before Seon Hyung-nuna.
As I quietly turned to sit in a more comfortable position while thinking, Dae Hyung once again picked up his Math textbook and started solving problems. Soon, only the sounds of the mechanical pencil could be heard.
Autism…… It fit him frighteningly well. And Happy. The dog in the picture is Happy. The one who got all of Jun Hyung’s love was that dog.
‘Only that it was hyung’s favourite dog…….’
Then what……. Why did you name me Happy? Did you see me as a replacement for that dog?
I was very curious about the details. About his present incomprehensible behaviours and his dog, Happy. And why he gave me that name.
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