Shakespeare Jest-Books Part 8

By this ye may se, that oftentymes a womans wytte at an extremyte _is moche_ better than a mans.

-- _Of the frere that tolde the thre chyldres fortunes._ xlviii.

-- There was _a frere_ lymyttour whyche wente a lymyttynge to a cer_tayne_ towne, wherin dwellyd a certayne ryche man of whome he ne_uer coulde_ gette the value of an hal[f]peny: yet he thought he wolde go thyder and a.s.saye hem.[82] And as he wente thyderwarde, the wyfe stand_yng at the_ dore, perceyuynge hym commynge a farre of, thoughte that he _was commynge_ thyther, and by and by ranne in and badde her chyldren standyng _thereby_, that if the frere asked for her, say she was nat within. The frere _sawe her_ runne in and suspected the cause, and came to the dore and asked for the wyfe. The chyldren, as they were bydden, sayde that she was nat within. Than stode he styll lokynge on the chyldren; and at the laste he called to hym the eldeste and badde hym let hym se his hande; and whan he _saw his_ hande: O Jesu! quod he, what fortune for the is ordayned! _Then he asked the_ seconde sonne to se his hande and, his hande sene, the frere sayd: _O Jesu! what_ destenye for the is prepared. Than loked he in the thyrde sonnes _hand_.

_O G.o.d!_ quod he, thy desteny is hardest of all; and therwith wente he his way. The _wyfe_, heryng these thinges, sodenly ranne out and called the frere againe, _and pray_de hym to come in, and after to sytte downe, and sette before hym _all the vita_ile that she had. And whan he had well eaten and dronken, she be_sought_ hym to tell her the destenyes of her chyldren; which at the last after many _difficulties_ tolde her that the fyrste shulde be a beggar, the seconde a thefe, the thyrde a homicyde; whiche she hearynge fell downe in a soone[83] and toke it greuouslye. The frere comforted her and said that, thoughe these were theyr fortunes, there myght be remedy had. Than she besought of him[84]

his counsell. Than said the frere: you must make the eldest that shalbe a beggar a frere, and the seconde that shalbe a thefe a man of lawe, and the thyrde that shalbe an homicyde a phisicyon.

By this tale ye may lerne, that they that will come to the speche or presence of any persone for theyr owne cause, they muste fyrste endeuer them selfe to shewe suche matters as those persones most delyte in.

FOOTNOTES:

[82] _i. e._ him. The Orig. reads _them_.

-- _Of the boy that bare the frere his masters money._ xlix.

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Ye, quod the frere. Than wente the man to the boye and sayd: syr, thy mayster byddeth the gyue me xl pens. I wyll nat, quod the boye. Than called the man with an hye voyce to the frere and sayd: syr, he sayeth he wyll not. Than quod the frere: bete him; and whan the boye harde his mayster say so, he gaue the man xl pens.

By this ye may se, it is foly for a man to say ye or nay to a matter, excepte he knewe surely what the matter is.

FOOTNOTES:

[83] Swoon.

[84] Orig. reads _besought him of_.

-- _Of Phylyp Spencer the bochers man._ l.

-- A certayne bocher dwellynge in Saynt Nicolas[85] Flesshambles in London, called Poule, had a seruaunte called Peter. Thys Peter on a Sonday was at the churche herynge ma.s.se; and one of his felowes, whose name was Phylyppe Spencer, was sente to call him at the commaundement of his maister. So it happened at the tyme that the curat _preched_, and in his sermonde touched many auctoryties of the holy scriptures, amonge all, the wordes of the pystles of saynt Poule ad[86] phylypenses: howe [we] be nat onely bounde to beleue in Chryste but also to suffre for Chrystes sake; and [he] sayd these wordes in the pulpet: what sayeth Poule ad Phylyppenses to this? Thys yonge man, that was called Philyppe Spenser, hadde went he had spoken of him [and] answered shortely and sayd: mary, syr, he bad Peter come home and take his parte of a podynge, for he shulde go for a Calfe anone. The curate herynge this, was aba.s.shed, and all the audyence made great laughter.

By thys ye may se, that it is no token of a wyse man to gyue a soden answere to a questyon, before he knowe surely what the matter is.

FOOTNOTES:

[85] Orig, reads _Nocolas_. The Church of St. Nicholas Shambles, which formerly stood in the neigbourhood of Newgate Market, was pulled down at the Reformation. See Cunningham, _Handbook of London_, in voce.

[86] Orig. reads _and_.

-- _Of the courtear and the carter._ li.

-- There came a courtyer by a carter, the whiche in derysyon preysed the carters backe, legges, and other membres of his body meruaylously, whose gestynge the carter perceyued and sayde, he had another properte than the courtyer espyed in hym; and whan the courtyer had demanded what it shulde be, he lokyd asyde ouer hys shulder vpon the courtyer and sayde thus: lo! syr, this is my propertie. I haue a walle eye in my hede: for I neuer loke ouer my shulder thys wyse but lyghtlye[87] I spye[88] a knaue.

By this tale a man may se, that he that useth to deryde and mocke other folkes, is somtyme him selfe more deryded and mocked.

FOOTNOTES:

[87] Quickly.

[88] Orig. reads _lyghtlye espye_.

-- _Of the yongman that prayd his felow to teche hym hys paternoster._ lii.

-- A yonge man of the age of xx yere, rude and unlerned, in the tyme of Lente came to his curate to be confessed; whiche, whan he was of his lyfe serched and examyned could not saye his Pater noster: wherfore his confessoure exorted him to lerne his Pater noster and shewed him what an holy and goodly prayer it was and the effecte therof and the vii peticyons therin contayned. _The i. sanctificetur &c. halowed be thy name. The ii. adueniat regnum &c. thy kingdome come. The iii. Fiat voluntas &c. thy will be done in earth as it is in heuen. The iv. Panem nostrum &c. geue[89] us_ our dayly sustenaunce alway and helpe vs as we helpe[90] them that haue nede of us. The v. Dimitte &c. Forgyue vs our synnes done to the as we forgyue them that trespas agaynste vs. The vi.

Et ne nos. Let vs nat be ouercome with euyll temptacyon. The vii. Sed libera &c. But delyuer us from all euyll. amen. And than his confessour, after this exposicyon to hym made, injoyned hym in penaunce to faste euery Fryday on brede and water, tyll he had his Pater noster well and sufficiently lerned. This yonge man, mekely acceptyng his penaunce, so departed and came home to one of his companyons, and sayde to his felowe: so it is that my gostely father hathe gyuen me in penaunce to faste euery Fryday [on] brede and water, tyll I can say my Pater noster.

Therfore I pray thee teche me my Pater noster, and by my truthe I shall therfore teche the a songe of Robyn Hode that shall be worth xx of it.

By thys tale ye may lerne to knowe the effecte of the holy prayer of the Pater noster.

FOOTNOTES:

[89] Singer's ed. reads _yeve_.

[90] Orig. ed. and Singer read _we haue and helpe them_.

-- _Of the frere that prechyd in ryme expownynge the ave maria._ liii.

-- A certayne frere there was whiche, vpon Our Lady day the Annuncyacion, made a sermon in the Whyte Freres in London, and began his antetexte thys wyse. Aue Maria gracia plena dominus tec.u.m &c. These wordes, quod the frere, were spoken by the aungell Gabryell to Oure Ladye, whan she conceyued Christe; which is as moche to saye in our mother tonge as: all hayle, Mary, well thou be; the sonne of G.o.d is with the. And furthermore the aungell sayde: thou shall conceyue and bere a sonne, and thou shalt call his name Jesum; and Elyzabeth thy swete cosyn, she shall conceyue the swete Saynt John. And so [he] proceded styll in his sermon in suche fonde ryme, that dyuers and many gentylmen of the court that were there began to smyle and laughe. The frere that perceyuyng said thus: Maysters, I pray you, harke; I shall tell you a narracyon. There was ones a yonge preest, that was nat all the best clerke, sayd ma.s.se and redde a colect thus: Deus qui vigenti filii tui &c. wherfore he shulde haue said vnigeniti filii tui &c.; and after, whan ma.s.se was done, there was suche a gentylman, as one of you are, nowe that had herde this ma.s.se, came to the preest and sayde thus: syr, I pray you tell me how many sonnes had G.o.d Almyghty? Quod the preest: why aske you that? Mary, syr, quod the gentylman, I suppose he had xx sonnes: for ye sayd right nowe: Deus qui viginti filii tui.[91] The preest, perceyuynge how that he deryded hym, answered hym shortely and said thus: howe many sonnes so euer G.o.d Almyghty had, I am sure that thou arte none of them: for thou scornyst the worde of G.o.d. And so sayde the frere in the pulpet: no more are ye none of the chyldren of G.o.d: for ye scorne and laughe at me nowe, that preche to you the worde of G.o.d whiche

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_By this ye may_[92] perceyue wel that the best, the wysyst and the most holyest matter that is, by fond p.r.o.nuncyacion and otterauns, may be marryd nor shall not[93] edyfye to the audyence. Therfore euery proces shold[94] be vtteryd wyth wordys and countenaunce conuenyent to the matter.

Also yet by thys tale they that be vnlearnyd in the laten tonge may know the sestence[95] of the Aue Maria.